What A Life
Dozie stoppped and turned back and began to walk towards her. “No, I am here to see you”, he said.
Samantha: “Just hold on there,don’t come any inch closer. You were on your way to your car when I came out to see you so you are not here to see me”, she went back to the room and locked the door behind her. Dozie ran after her, flower in one hand, the other hand knocking on her door.
Dozie: “I am sorry for all that I caused you. Please open the door and listen to me”. She didn’t reply. “Samantha, please for the sake of the love we once shared, open the door for me”. She opened the door and stood at the entrance, preventing him from going in.
Samantha: “Yes, what is it? I am sure your wife doesn’t know that you are here, so why are you here disturbing my afternoon nap?”
Dozie: “I heard you have been discharged from the hospital, so I thought…”
Samantha: “Oh, your wife sent you here to confirm if I made it alive from the hospital. Well, go back and tell her that I am alive and I am recuperating”.
Dozie: “No! can you just listen to me, please? I know I have offended you big time but I am ready to make amends. See, I got you flowers and other gifts, I still love you. Let’s come back together, please”.
Samantha: “You must be out of your mind, Dozie”.
Samantha: “Yes, you are out of your mind. You want us to come back as what? After you gave me the embarrassment of my life by standing me up at the altar? You think you can buy back my love with flowers and gifts? Well, I am not that cheap. Oh, you want me to agree so that you can embarrass me a second time?”
Dozie: “It wasn’t my fault. I was forced to do that”.
Samantha: “Okay, you were forced to call off the wedding, accepted. Were you also forced to marry my best friend?”
Dozie: “She arm twisted me”.
Samantha: “You know what? I don’t even know why I am wasting my time talking to you, just leave, your presence alone brings back such ugly memories that I am trying so hærd not to remember”.
She pushed him away and slammed the door on his face.
The next morning, Eno went to see her mother who had instructed her to visit her so that they can go see the spiritualist for him to take care of Samantha. On their way to the native doctor’s place, Eno who was all tensed couldn’t help but confide in her mother.
Eno: “I am worried, mum”.
Mama Eno: “About what again? Are we not going to take care of Samantha who is your biggest threat?”
Eno: “It is not about Samantha, jor!”
Mama Eno: “Then what is it about? Ah, this girl your wahala too much. You can’t even take care of any problem on your own”.
Eno: “It is about this fake pregnancy”.
Mama Dozie: “Don’t worry about that. I got the perfect solution for that. We have to handle it even it means we harming Dozie”. Eno wanted to protest but her mother stopped her from talking. “Shhh, we will continue this discussion later. Let’s go and see the baba first and you have to tell him exactly what you want him to do with Samantha”.
Eno: “How do you mean, mum”.
Mama Eno: “When we go in there, the man will ask you exactly what you want him to do with Samantha”.
Eno: “What are the options?”
Mama Eno: “I don’t know but I am sure that death is one of them. I am sure you don’t want that for your friend”.
Eno: “She is not my friend, mum. A friend that will not leave your husband alone, is that one a friend? I want her dead, in fact I can’t wait to tell the Baba to take her out of my way”.
Mama Eno: “You don’t have to wait for long, we shall be at his place soon”.
Mama Dozie: “Knock knock, who is in the house o?”
Dozie who was listening to music with his ear piece did not hear his mother knock until she started banging on the door. He ran up to the door and opened when he heard his mother’s voice.
Mama Dozie: “What is wrong with you? I have been knocking for a long time now, do you have ear problem now?”
Dozie: “I am sorry, mum. I was listening to music with my ear piece”.
Mama Dozie: “I have told you to stop listening to loud music with your ear piece. Do you want to spoil your ear drum?”
Dozie: “Mum, I didn’t say the music was loud”.
Mama Dozie: “If it was not loud, why didn’t you hear me knock?”
Dozie: “Oh, not again, mum. Don’t tell me you came here for another question and answers session”, he walked back to the settee where he was sitting before she came in.
Mama Dozie: “Where is your wife? I actually came to see her. I hope you have started shopping for the baby?”
Dozie: “Which baby?”
Mama Dozie:”Your baby in your wife’s womb, of course”.
Dozie: “Mum, just leave me out of the so called baby thing. Eno is in the room, you can go see her”. He got up, picked his phone and left the room.
Eno when she heard Dozie’s mother knocking on her door quickly got up and adjusted the make believe pregnancy she had on. Checking out herself in the mirror to ensure that all was intact, she sluggishly opened the door.
Eno: “Welcome, ma. Sorry I was in the bathroom throwing up when you came knocking”, she lied rolling her eyes.
Mama Dozie: “Sorry my dear. Pregnancy is always like that, it comes with different symptoms. So you vomit during the day? I thought you only vomit in the morning”.
Eno: “I don’t know again o, I vomit morning afternoon and evening. In fact, I vomit every hour, I am tired. I didn’t know that pregnancy can be this stressful”. She lied again.
Mama Dozie: “That is serious o, I hope you are not carrying twins”.
Eno: “Twins ke, God forbid o. I want to have them one after the other, I don’t want any double package”.
Mama Dozie noticed that the room contained Eno’s box and personal effects. “Ah-ah, why are your things here, I thought this is the guest room? Don’t you stay in the same room with your husband?
Eno: “Its this pregnancy wahala that is making me stay here on my own. Sometimes after vomiting, I just wanna be alone. And then, men can be so insensible some times. Can you imagine that even in my condition he still wants to touch me in the night?”
Mama Dozie: “That is husband and wife issue, I won’t interfere. Anyway, I don’t like the way your stomach is, I was expecting it to be bigger by now and then, which hospital did you register for ante natal?”
Eno: “Erm…I..you mean ante natal?”
Mama Dozie: “Yes, which hospital did you register?”
Eno: “I…ah, erm, yes. One private hospital very close to us here”.
Mama Dozie: “Okay, I will follow you there on your next appointment. Open this your stomach let me see”.
Eno’s heart skipped a beat for she knew that what she had beneath her dress was fake pregnancy. Her heart began to pound when she thought of what her mother in law’s reaction would be when she realized that she was faking the pregnancy. “Go ahead and open it, don’t tell me that you are shy”. Mama Dozie’s voice interrupted her.
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