Wingless And Beautiful episode 16
đWINGLESS AND BEUTIFULđ
đEPISODE SIXTEENđ
I didnât see Chaise all Monday. He didnât come up to meto my locker in between classes, did not join Denise and mefor lunch. I didnât see him even when I headed to work inthe afternoon.
Fortunately, for the wh0le day, I also didnât see Hunter. Iguess it was just my day off from worrying about either ofthem. That for once, I had the day for myself to figure outwhat I needed to do.
When I k-ssed Hunter again, it felt the same as before.Electricity radiated from his l-ips to mine. It felt exhilaratingand exciting⌠tormenting and heartbreaking all at the sametime. It brought back all the memories of our time together.He made me feel safe and secure⌠and even if the worldaround us was full of danger, he still made me feel like Ishouldnât care. As long as I was in his arms everythingwas going to be okay.
Meredith asked me to quit my job at Alibri. She said shewould help me find a job, as long as I only did it over theweekends and I should stay indoors at nights. I was stillarguing with her about this and we hadnât reached aconclusion yet. But Monday night, she picked me up fromwork. I was thankful because I wasnât particularly thrilled towalk home alone.
âThanks, Mer,â I told her as soon as I got out of the car.
âYou actually shouldnât have. I know youâre also tired fromyour work.â
âDonât mention it, Alice. Iâm your guardian. Itâs my job tomake sure youâre safe,â Meredith said.
As we walked up the steps to the house, I turned back tothe street just in time to see a black Porsche slow down infront of our house and then drove away.I remember that car!It was Chaiseâs. Did he follow us home to make sure Iwas home okay, like he used to in the past?But why didnât he just show himself? What was wrong
with him? I feel like he was deliberately avoiding me. Whatdid I do to him? And how can I talk to him if he wouldnâteven see me?
The next day, when Chaise did not show up again inschool, I finally called him. He didnât pick up. I must havecalled him more than a dozen times, but he just ignored mycalls. It was really bothering me. I just wanted to know if hewas okay, that he was safe.I sent him a text message:Chaise, I wonder where you are. Iâm getting worried.
Everything alright?I waited for about ten minutes but I didnât get anythingback from him. I donât know if he was sick or he was mad at
me. But right now, as long as I know he was safe theneverything else was fixable.
The next day, I didnât see Chaise or Hunter again. I wishI could give Hunter my diary. I wanted him to know not onlythat I was just friends with Chaise⌠I also wanted him tounderstand why. But right now, I donât even know where mydiary is. I spent almost every day of the last one and a halfyears writing to Hunter on it. And now⌠I havenât evengiven it to him, and I lost it.It bothered me that I could have dropped it somewhereand then it fell into the hands of people who didnât havegood intentions for me. It wasnât fair. Apart from myself,
only Hunter was the only other person who had the right toread it. And it worried me that right now that somebody elsecould be reading about my deepest, darkest fears⌠mymost truthful emotions; reading the words that were meant for the boy I waited forâthe boy I still wanted to come backto me.Chaise did not show up to school the next day or thenext. And I knew something was really wrong. It was not likehim to just not show up for school, ignore my calls or mytext messages.
âHave you heard from him?â I asked Denise.
She shook her head. I could tell that she was worriedtoo.
âI just hope that nothing bad happened.â
âLet me call his house,â Denise said, flipping her mobileto scan for Chaiseâs name. Then she dialed the number andI waited anxiously beside her.
âHi. Good afternoon. May I speak to Chaise please?â
Denise paused for a while and then she said, âOkay,thanks.â
I raised a brow at her as soon as she hung up thephone.
She shook her head. âHeâs not home. His maid said heleft about two hours ago.â
I sighed in relief. âThank God.â
âNow you could breathe,â Denise said, smiling. âAt least,we know he hasnât gone missing. That weâre still looking fora living person and not waiting for a corpse to turn up.â
I gave Denise a disapproving look and she laughed.
âYouâre right. I miss our verbal judos. If he was here, hewould have said something hilarious.â
âI just wish I know whatâs going on with him. Heâs noteven answering my text messages.â
âDid you have a fight in the lake house?â
I shook my head. âNot that I remember. But he waspretty quiet on the way back.â
âI think he was really threatened with Hunter. He didnâtlike the fact that you and Hunter were left in the cabin byyourselves,â Denise said. Then she stared at me carefully,making me feel uncomfortable.
âWhat?â I asked, hoping I wasnât blushing too much.
âYou would tell me, right?â she asked. âIf somethinghappened between you and Hunter⌠you would tell me.â
I took a deep breath and gave her a slight nod. I didnâtwant to lie to her. But I canât tell her about Hunter eitherâŚnot yet.
âSpeaking of Hunter, how is he? I donât see him aroundeither.â I tried to sound cool so Denise would not suspectanything. But deep in,side, I was dying to know her answer. Ihoped she wouldnât say that he returned to Jacksonville⌠tosee Tania or to come back there for good.
âI have no idea what goes on with him. Heâs taking up alot of extra school work to catch up on the year he wasaway from school. Heâs like a ninja on stealth mode. Heattends school and aces his makeup tests and schoolworkbut we donât really see him around,â she said dryly. âI barelysee him at home. Heâs always out at night.â
âReally? Where does he go?â
âI really donât know. Weâve gotten so used to it at home.Hunter is always out at nights since he returned from hissurgery. Many nights, he doesnât even come home. I donâtknow where he sleeps, or if he sleeps at all. Heâs like avampire,â she replied. âI wish I knew whatâs going on in thatbrilliant mind of his. Anyway, I need to go. Catch you later.â
âOkay. See you later.â
I sighed in frustration after Denise left. Guess Iâll have towait another day to hear from either Chaise or Hunter. Ihoped to see Chaise soon because I wanted to set thingsstraight. Though, I wished I could see Hunter, even just aglimpse of him⌠because I simply missed him.
When I got home that day, Meredith had some news forme.
âI got promoted!â she squealed.
I jumped for joy and gave her a hug. âIâm so happy foryou, Mer!â
She stared at me for a moment. âAnd because of thisâŚyou donât really have to work at Alibri.â
âMeredith, you were the one who got promoted. Notme.â
She shook her head. âMy promotion means I could sparemore for your college education. If you get a scholarshÂĄp,then we will be just fine. There is no need for you to riskgoing home late at night.â
âBut Meredith, my college fees are not the only thingswe need to worry about. And besides⌠itâs your life Iâmworried about too.â
Meredith gave me a gentle smile. âAnd you are my lifenow, Alice,â she said. âAt first, I admit I hated your mom forforcing this on me. I was devastated when she took her ownlife. I thought it was very selfish of her to do that. I wasyoung⌠I couldnât even take care of myself. I was scared!And knowing what happened to you⌠I thought you were
going to be difficult, Alice. I thought I would have to dealwith depression or rebellion.âBut no. You were quiet. You tried to smile and joke a lot.You acted like everything was gonna be just fine. And thatâŚscared me even more. I thought you would lose it⌠or blow
up anytime. I looked at you like a⌠walking time bombready to explode any minute. But you didnât. And then youmet Hunter and fell in love. You were just fine. I realized howstrong you really were. You were far stronger than I was. Iwould never be able handle what happened to you.âI found it difficult to come to terms with losing my
sister. But for you⌠it was your mom and stepdad. I donâtthink Iâve seen anybody stronger than you were. And younever wanted anybody to take care of you⌠or worry aboutyou. You donât demand special attention or sympathy justbecause of what happened to you. In spite of your history,you still thought about the feelings of the people aroundyou. You were very considerate, thoughtful⌠selfless.â
She sighed. âIf Hunter or Chaise were both trying to winyou over, fighting over you⌠or breaking their hearts overyou⌠donât even ask yourself why, Alice. You are awonderful young woman. Youâre wise beyond your years andstronger than any storm that came your way. You werebeautiful to begin with⌠your scars only added strength to
your beauty. Those boys were right to be crazy about you.â
I looked down at my fingers as I listened to Meredith. Inever really knew what she thought about me. And hearingher say those words, I understood a lot about myself. It waswrong of me to think so low of myself, just because I had adark history and damaged skin to remind me of mynightmares.
Meredith smiled at me again. âI asked CRC if they havea job for you. Turns out they were looking for an assistant inthe library to work there on Saturdays. I know the pay maynot be as much as you receive at Alibri, but it would helpyou save if thatâs what you want. Besides, once youâre incollege, you can work out a better schedule if you want toget a job.â
She was right. My job at Alibri was far too risky. I gotaway with doing it because Chaise faithfully picked me upevery night. I was lucky to get away from those potheadsbecause he was following me, making sure I was safe. But Icouldnât keep on doing that to Chaise anymore. It wasnât fairbecause I knew he was doing it hoping I would be able toreturn his feelings someday. But I knew that would never
happen. It would always be Hunter.That evening, when I went to work, I gave Mrs. Baileymy resignation. She was sad that I had to go but I explainedto her that it was difficult for me to go home every night. Itold her about the night I was attacked and if Chaise wasnât
there to save me, I would have been history. She truly feltsorry for me and told me that she understood my decision.
By Friday, Chaise was still a no show. I was beginning tohear rumors around that he was moving away. But I refused to believe them until I heard it from him myself. Chaisewould at least say goodbye to me. Right?After my last class, I went to my locker and saw a notestuck on my door. I took it and read a letter that I was surewas written in Chaiseâs handwriting.
Alice,
This is probably one of the hĂŚrdest letters I havewritten.
I havenât gone to see you this past week. I wanted to.
But somehow, I couldnât find the courage to face you.
I want to say Iâm sorry for everything. All I was thinking about was myself and how badly I wanted to be with you, Iforgot that I should be thinking about your happinessinstead of mine. And Iâm not really proud of what I did.I know Iâm not making sense right now, but soon youwould know what I am talking about.
I would like to make up for everything. Tonight.
This town has a garden, overlooking a lake that hasswans in the day⌠and fireflies at night. I think you knowwhat garden I am talking about.
Go there, Alice. Now, as soon as you get this note. Giveme a chanceto make up for what I did⌠for getting in the
way⌠for being so selfish.
Iâm sorry.
Forever Yours,
Chaise
My hands were shaking as I read his letter. Questionsraced through my mind. I looked around me to look for anysigns of Chaise. But apart from two other kids who weregetting things from their lockers, there was just me. I putthe note in my bag and then I went out of the campus.What was Chaise planning to do? Where was he? And
how the hell did he know about the garden in CRC? OnlyHunter and I knew about that.UnlessâŚ
My heart pounded in my chest and I felt the hairs in mynape rise. Unless⌠Chaise found my diary.
When I came back from the lake house, my diary wasgone. Chaise had all night to go through my stuff if Denisewasnât looking. Heâd seen me write on it before. He musthave recognized it. I guess curiosity got the better of him.If he started reading it, then would he know⌠he wouldknow who I was writing it for. He would know who the guyhe was hoping to replace in my heart was.
I took the bus to CRC and got there in fifteen minutes.The moment I stepped into the grounds, memories ofHunter flooded back to me. I remembered how we fell inlove in this unlikely place. Here, we both found the will tofight and live our lives again. Here lies a world where onlythe two of us existed⌠old souls, young hearts.
As I approached the gate, I felt somebody pull my hand.I turned back and found Chaise staring back at me.
âChaise!â
He pulled me towards the parking lot, without saying aword.
âChaise, are you okay?â I asked.
He didnât reply until we reached the parking spacewhere his black Porsche was. It had been a while since I lastsaw him drive that. I noticed the long scratch on the hood,courtesy of the potheads he fought to save me that night. Ithought he said he had sent the car to get it fixed. Howcome the scratch was still there?I was about to ask that but when I looked up at him, Isaw that he had a bruise beside his l-ips and there was a cuton his left brow. His cheek was also red and slightly swollen.His injury looked fresh, like heâd been in a fight only thatday.
âOh my God, Chaise, what happened to you?â I asked.
He shook his head. âIt doesnât matter,â he replied. âIdonât have much time.â
âWhatâs going on?â
âI only have a few minutes to spare. Then I need toleave.â
âLeave to where?â
âBack to Berlin,â he replied.
âWhy?â
He shook his head. âBerlinâs my home, Alice.â
âI know. I just didnât think youâd be back there so soon.â
He shrugged. âIâm kidding myself if I truly believed Ibelonged here in the first place.â
âSo what? I never belonged here too. But you told me tos-ck it up!â
Chaise shook his head. âI need to tell you something.
And I know that when Iâm done, youâre gonna want me goneanyway.â
âWhat is it?â
He took a deep breath. Then he said, âIâm sorry, Alice. Iam so sorry.â
âFor what?â
He looked at me with an apologetic look on his face. âItook your diary.â
âI think âstoleâ is the operative word,â I said, raising abrow at him.
He sighed. âOkay. I stole it.â
âWhy would you do that?â
âI had to find my answers. I know that if I asked, youwouldnât tell me. I always saw you writing in your diary. Ihave always been curious about its contents. And when Ineeded answers to the questions in my mind, I knew I wouldfind it there. So when you were left in the cabin, I took thatchance to take the diary.â
I took a moment to absorb what he was telling me. ThenI asked, âWhat answers were you looking for?â
âWhen⌠when Mica pushed you and Vaughnimmediately jumped into the water to save you, I felt thatsomething wasnât right. His action was too automatic, it couldnât have been on mere instinct,â he replied. âHe knew,beforehand, that you couldnât swim, didnât he?â
I bit my lip and didnât answer.
âVaughn had always been watching you. Every time wewere in the same room together, I would see his eyes neverleave you. I didnât take it seriously at first. After all, almostall the boys in Leighton High were curious about you. Abouthalf of us were infatuated with you. Beautiful, tough, smartand talented Allison Harley. Why would Vaughn be anydifferent?â
I didnât answer. I allowed Chaise to say everything hecame to say. âOn the deck that day, I heard him play thesame song you played in the concert. And it clicked in mymind that once, you told Denise that your ex-boyfriendtaught you how to play that song. It could have been a
coincidence, sure. But not when you added up all the clues.
âAnd then that morning we found you in the room in thecabin, I knew we interrupted something. I saw it in both yourfaces. And when I touched the Braille inscription on yourpendant, I confirmed all my suspicions.â
He took a deep breath and with a teary voice, he said,
âHunter Vaughn was the reason you couldnât fall in love withme.â
Tears rolled down my cheeks this time. I wiped themwith my fingers and then I whispered, âIâm sorry, Chaise. Iwanted to tell you⌠but I didnât know how not to hurt you.â
Chaise shook his head. âNo, Alice. Donât apologize.â Hisvoice sounded heavy with guilt and sadness. âIâm the onewho should apologize to you. I loved you so much, but I hadbeen selfish! And I have to come clean now. I have to stoppretending that I could steal you away from him. I was thereason you couldnât be together. I kept you apart! I lied toyou! I was so desperate to win your heart, I resulted to⌠tolies! Pretenses. I made you believe that I was your savior,your guardian angel. When in truth, I was no angel at all.â
âNo, Chaise. Donât say that. You did a lot of things forme. You saved my life. I wouldnât be here now if it werenâtfor you. You were my hero.â
Chaise stared at me with tears in his eyes. He shook hishead slowly. âNo, Alice. Iâm no hero. And those potheadswerenât meant to hurt you anyway. They were just supposedto scare you off.â
I stared back at him, this time confused at what he justsaid. âWhat do you mean?â
Chaise drew another deep breath, like he was drawingcourage along with it. âThose guys werenât lawless addicts.They were just supposed to be harmless school dropouts.â
âHow would you know that?â
âBecause I⌠I paid them to wait for you and pretendthey would hurt you.â
I couldnât believe my ears. âExcuse me? Say thatagain?â
âAlice⌠I staged that scene.â
I stared at him blankly for about fifteen seconds.What the f-ck was he saying?
âChaiseâŚW-why?â
I saw embarrassment and shame cross his face when hereplied, âSo I could swoop in and pretend to save you. Soyou would⌠let me in.â
I felt like the world was crashing down in front of me andI wanted nothing more than to punch all of Chaiseâs teethdown his throat. âOh my God, Chaise! How could you dothat?â
Chaise reached forward to take my hand in his but Isnatched them away.
âAlice, please,â he pleaded. âIâm sorry. I was desperate. Icared about you, and I had every intention of taking care ofyou. I just didnât know how to get through to you. It was⌠itwas the only way I could think of.â
Strong emotions enveloped me in waves I could hĂŚrdlycontrol. Anger was the most dominant of them, and before I knew it, I felt my palm land strongly on Chaiseâs left cheek.
âI could have died!â I cried. âEven though you paid themto pretend to harass me, they were high. And their attackdidnât feel staged at all! I remember being pulled anddragged with force! I got hurt, Chaise! Before you came andrescued me, I had to struggle to get away from them! I wasscared! How could you do that to me?â
Chaise looked at me with teary eyes. All he could saywas, âIâm sorry⌠Iâm sorry.â
âYou wanted to look like a hero, so you put my life onthe line! And you said you love me?â I glowered at him. âDoyou even know that⌠that guy had a knife?â
âI didnât know that. Iâm sorry. I made a grave mistakethat night! When I saw you being attacked⌠when I saw himpull a knife and scratch the car, I realized the danger I putyou through.â
âSo, you staged all that, you scratched your car, riskedmy life, so you could display what a good fighter you were?So you could display your Karate skills in front of me? Soyou could enter my life?â
He shook his head. âI am so sorry, Alice. I donât deserveyour friendshÂĄp. I donât deserve to be called your guardianangel.â
âYouâre damn right, you donât!â I said angrily. âLeave mealone, Chaise!â
He reached out to touch me but I took a step back.
âDonât touch me! Stay the hell away from me!â
He nodded. âIâm so sorry, Alice,â he pleaded. âI hopesomeday, somehow, you will find it in your heart to forgiveme.â
I shook my head. âI donât know if I could ever forgiveyou, Chaise. You lied to me. You tricked me. And you put mylife in danger.â
âI know,â he said. He waived his hand towards his face.
âI got a good beating for it, but I donât think it will ever beenough.â
âWhat are you saying?â
âIâm saying Karma catches up fast,â he replied. âBut thisis nothing compared to the pain and guilt that I feel in,side,Alice. I hope someday, you will believe how truly sorry Iam.â
âOh, I believe youâre sorry. I just donât believe I will beable to forgive you,â I said with a sullen expression on myface.
He nodded. âAnd I deserve that.â
I took a step back, staring at him angrily. âGet out of myface, Chaise!â
He sighed. âI promise you, Alice. You will never lose yourguardian angel. You may not believe anything that comesout of my mouth right now, but please, believe in that.â
I donât understand what he meant, but I was beyondcaring. All I wanted was to get my diary back and get thehell away from him.
âWhat have you done to my diary?â I asked.
âDonât worry, itâs perfectly safe.â
âWhere the f-ck is it, Chaise?â
âIn there.â He pointed towards CRC. I raised a brow athim. âI think you know exactly where.â
I turned to leave but he pulled my arm. I stared back at him with an ice cold expression on my face.
âI know what I did was unforgiveable,â he said. I couldtrace desperation in his voice. âThereâs one more thing I liedabout.â
âReally? Youâre not done yet? Youâve got to be kiddingme!â
He shook his head. âThose potheads took it seriouslyand the danger you faced may have been real. The thingis⌠I donât deserve to be called your guardian angel, butsomebody does. And you must know⌠I donât know Karateat all.â
Without giving me a chance to argue or ask any morequestion, he walked away to the opposite side of the parking lot and hopped on to his jeep.I was confused, because I was standing in front of theblack Porsche that Chaise drove that night he saved mefrom the potheads. Well, back when I thought he saved me.Why did he leave his car here?
I realized I had a more pressing matter to attend to thanworry about Chaiseâs car.I went in,side CRC and took the path towards the garden.
I was surprised that I still remembered every step that led toit. The familiarity of the scenery almost made me want tocry. It had been so long⌠and yet I still remembered the boywho used to walk beside me every step of the way in thisgarden. The boy who couldnât see but was the one guidingme, protecting me while we were within the grounds of thisfacility.
When I reached the garden, it was already sunset. Thefireflies were starting to come out. I walked towards thebench but stopped short when I realized that there wassomebody there, sitting on top of the table. He was wearinga gray jacket with the hood covering his face.
Immediately, I was reminded of the boy who stood inthe shadows and watched over me, followed me until I wassafely home⌠the boy who saved me from the potheads
that night.
My guardian angel.His head was bent, I realized that he was holding anotebook in his hands, reading its pages.
My diary!I stood behind him, afraid to make a sound. But slowly,
he closed the diary in his hands, and I had a feeling healready sensed he was no longer alone. He stood up andslowly turned around towards me.I watched him raise his hand and pull his hood off his
head, revealing his face.My heart caught in my throat as I looked into his familiareyes. Tears welled up in my eyes and a lump formed in my
throat as realization crept through me.
Suddenly, everything made sense. I realized why Chaisesaid that those potheads took everything seriously and thedanger that I faced suddenly turned real. I understood whyhe said he didnât know a thing about Karate, even though,my rescuer showed perfect fighting skills to save me fromthose guys.It turned out, the boy I called my guardian angel all thistime⌠was not Chaise at all.It had been Hunter all along.