Intertwined episode 13
đ€INTERTWINEDđ€
đEP THIRTEENđ
Two years later, my parentsâ divorce was finalized. Mymother would take permanent residency in Manhattan; myfather would station himself in Boston. No battle for custodyI was already of age. My parents decided to give thehouse to me instead of selling it and dividing the profitsbetween them.
I was angry. My parents had decided to abandon thehouseâŠthe happy house where Thomas and I had grown up!Where they last saw Tom! I refused to let the memories go.They could divide all their properties except this houseâŠIcould not believe they were walking away from it and all thememories it had.
I was in my room, and as always, I decided to channelmy emotions onto the canvas. I didnât know what I waspainting. But it was a mixture of dark blues, blacks, violets,swirling around in angry patterns. I was on the brink ofcrying. That day marked the end, not just of a chapter of mylife, but of a wh0le story.
I swirled the violet paint on the canvass angrily, notknowing what I was really painting, but somehow expressinghow I really felt. Tears rolled down my cheeks, but I refusedto let a whimper escape from me.
Just then, I felt strong arms encircle me, pulling me awayfrom the canvas.
âStop it,â Travis whispered behind me. He took thepaintbrush from my hand.I stared at his handsome face, and then I completelybroke down.
Travis bent and scooped me off my feet and carried meto my bed. I couldnât stop crying. I knew my parentsâmarriage had crumbled a long time before. But the finality of it brought up so many sad and angry emotions that Ialmost couldnât face.
I felt Travisâs l-ips on my head. âSssshhhâŠâ he said in asoothing voice. âIâm still here.â
The following years, my life was a series of ups anddowns. People came and went for the next five years. Mymom trained me to manage her art galleries.I dated guys and had two relationshÂĄps. One didnât endwell.
Eric.
He was wonderful, smart, and funny. We jived a lot, andit seemed like I was talking to my girl best friend every timeI was with him. He was very comfortable. In fact, toocomfortable. Weâd been seeing each other for three years,and I decided to take it to the next level. I thought he woulddo it, but three years without initiating intimacy was justplain weird.
I planned a night for us in my apartment. I lit candles,set the mood. When he opened the door and I was wearinga silk nightgown in front of him, he broke down to tears.
Not good, I said to myself, and I went to him to ask himwhat was wrong.
âIâve not been honest with you,â he said. âI wasâŠprobably just using youâŠto deny what I really wanted. WhatI really am!â
âWhat are you talking about, Eric?â
âBrianne, Iâm g-y.â
I almost fainted. No wonder weâd been seeing each otherfor so long and heâd been dodging intimacy as much as IhadâŠmaybe even more!
So I wasted three years there when I was actually aticking time bomb. I had to be married by the time I wasthirty-one. Well, I would be, anywayâŠto Travis Cross, if Ididnât find my own guy.
As for Travis, heâd built his own company that was set tocompete with his fatherâs. It seemed like a game of chess between the two of them. One man trying to teach the othera lesson, the other trying to show the other that he wasmuch smarter.
Travis stayed mostly in Manhattan, but he also traveleda lot. But no matter how busy he was, he never failed to seeme on my birthday. He would show up for a day, give me anextravagant present, like a piece of diamond jewelry, andthen weâd spend the wh0le night talking and catching up,and it always felt the same. Like we were together all yearlong.
Eric didnât mind Travis. In fact, he liked it when Travisdropped by and joined us for dinner. Now, I think Eric mighthave been interested in Travis more than he was everinterested in me.
âBut I do love you, Brianne!â Eric said. âJust not in anintimate way. And I promise Iâll always be here for you. Iâllalways be your friend.â
So instead of making love, Eric and I spent that night inbed. I was locked in his embrace, my head on his shoulder,and he told me the secrets he couldnât tell anybody else.
Now, Eric and I are still very good friends. He dates oncein a while, trying to find his own Mr. Right.
I then dated a guy named Christian. He was a tall, darkblond guy with startling green eyes. He was very cute andvery ambitious. He was a lawyer with dreams of becoming apartner in his law firm one day.
I wasnât painting much. Chris made me see that moneycame faster when you managed a business. It takes a whileto sell a painting for a good price, but buying and sellingother peopleâs paintings brings home the money faster. AndI needed the money. I had a wedding I needed to save upfor.
With Chris, I didnât have a problem with intimacy. He wasthe best friend of my old friend Cindyâs brother. We met at aparty Cindy threw. He asked for my number, and he askedme out the next day.
Weâd been dating for two and a half years. The futureseemed very bright for me. I was beginning to think I mightnot need Travis Cross to enter into a ceremony hecompletely didnât believe in.
When I started dating Chris, I had been successfullymanaging one of my motherâs galleries. I learned thecommercial side of the business. Instead of painting my ownmasterpieces, I learned the logistics and the financial side ofmanaging a gallery. I did miss painting, but I needed timefor this. And time seemed to be quite a luxury for me at themoment, especially with a guy like Chris, who seemed to be
living in the fast lane.
The relationshÂĄp was comfortable, cozy, and smoothsailing. Christian was a standup guy with a lot of principlesin life. He was ambitious, and he guided me in managingone of my momâs galleries. Sure, he was uptight most of thetime, but he taught me to be tougher and to go aftersuccess. I might not succeed in painting my own
masterpieces, but at least I had galleries to manage in thefuture.
The only time I felt I was being artistic at all was when Ijoined Sarahâs dance group. They had dance shows once ina while, and I always managed to get a part in one of theirperformances. I begged Chris to watch me, but he alwayshad a case to work on whenever there was a show. I couldtell he was not really thrilled by my dancing. I told him thathe just must think that it was a form of exercise for me to
keep my muscles toned and my heart healthy.
Travis caught up with me every once in a while.Whenever he was in town, weâd have dinner together. Hewas also been quite a busy man. Whenever I saw him, Icouldnât help throwing myself in his arms. Being with himfelt like I was still the old me. Careless and carefree.
We never talked about Chris or Travisâs own women.When we were together, it was like there was only the twoof us in the world. In two years, I only got to see Travis about one or two days a month. So whenever we saw eachother, I felt like I was always running out of time and I hadto make the most of it. I told him things I couldnât tell Chrisor Sarah. My dreams, my fearsâŠwhat was left of the old me.
âWhat are you doing with a guy who changes you somuch?â he asked me once. We were on the balcony of hishotel suite. I was sitting beside him, and he had an armaround my wa-ist with my head resting on his shoulder.
I sighed. âI have to make something of myself, too,Travis. I have to survive on my own. Iâm not trust-funded likeyou. The minute I graduated college, I was on my own inthis world. I canât afford to paint and dance all the time andexpect that money will just come pouring in on a dailybasis.â
âBut are you happy?â he asked.
I stared up at him. He was studying my face, reading allthe hidden emotions behind the façade Iâd been putting upfor years. âIf I didnât have a roof over my head and I starvedto death, I would certainly be sad, Travis,â I said.
He smirked. âYouâre crazy if you think I would allow youto get that far!â he said under his breath.
I laughed. âI know you wonât,â I said and rested my headon his shoulder again. âBut, Travis, I have to survive on myown, you know.â
I felt him shake his head. âNo, you donât,â he said. âYourfate is tied to mine, remember? So that means you neverhave to be alone for as long as you live.â
âFor as long as you live,â I corrected him.
âNo,â he said. âIâll find a way to take care of you even inthe afterlife.â He chuckled.
I felt a heavy lump in my throat. Suddenly, hearing himsay that broke my heart. I couldnâtâŠand I mean couldnâtâŠimagine living my life without Travis in it. No. Just thinkingabout Travis dying was just too painful for me.I didnât know it, but I was crying silently. Suddenly, Travispulled away from me and tilted my chin up so he could look at my face.
âWhy are you crying?â he asked.
I shook my head. I wiped the tears from my cheeks. Ipulled away from him and looked at the view of the city infront of us.
âBrianne,â he insisted. âWhat did I say wrong?â
I stared at him. How could Travis say it like that, as if hedidnât think he meant a lot to me?
âThat I would lose you one day,â I murmured.
His expression softened. He reached out and pulled meinto his arms again. I felt him k-ss the top of my head. âIâmsorry,â he said. I wrapped my arms around his wa-ist andhugged him to me while I continued crying on his chest.
âBut there are things beyond our control, cherie. Iâm justsaying that even if Iâm gone, Iâll make sure you live acomfortable life.â
âI donât need a comfortable life, Travis,â I said. âI needyou to be in itâŠalways. And promise me you will be!â
âSsshhhâŠâ He took a deep breath. âI promise, princess.You wonât lose me.â
âI love you, Travis,â I whispered and I felt him k-ss thetop of my head.
He took a deep breath. âI love you, too, Brianne. Promiseme I wonât lose you, too.â
I smiled. âI promise.â
Chris hadnât met Travis yet. Chris knew that my parentsand I werenât close. He knew that I had an old friend whom Iconstantly kept in touch with, the only other person wh-reminded me of the happy family I used to have. Andsomehow, Chris never seemed interested with my âoldestfriend.â I tried to tell him about Travis, but he seemed souninterested and he usually changed the topic. So I juststopped trying over the years. Whenever I disappeared for aday, I would tell him that I was catching up with an oldfriend, and heâd tell me to go ahead and knock myself out,just donât do anything silly.
Itâs good that he trusted me, not that I intended to doanything silly with Travis. Travis and I were no longerteenagers with raging hormones who couldnât get theiremotions under control.
âWhy donât you ask your old friends to come with you?â
Chris said whenever I asked him to come to my familyreunions with me.
Well, Travis was always invited to our reunions anyway.But I wanted Chris to meet him and my family. Butsomehow, he was always busy impressing his bosses andhis clients. I got how ambitious he was. I just wished that hewould pause for a moment to come to my dances or myfamily reunions.
He couldnât really blame me for being disappointed. Themost important male figure in my life had set the bar reallyhigh for my future boyfriends. Travis probably earned abouta hundred times more than Chris, and he still had time tocome to my family reunions.
My first Christmas with Chris was a disappointment. Iwas so looking forward to it, but, unfortunately, he told methat he had to go to work. The CEO of one of the companiesthey were working on to hire their legal services held amajor Christmas Eve party and his boss nominated him toattend for their firm. He was eager to impress and ditchedour holiday plans of renting a cabin in the woods.
Since Chris waited until the day before Christmas to tellme that heâs bailing on me, it was too late to fly out towhere either of my parents were to spend Christmas Evewith them. So when Sarah told me she was having a âsinglesChristmas Eveâ party at her place, I decided to go. I couldtell she truly felt sorry for me. But I tried to smile as much
as I could, and pretended I was having the time of my life.
âGive me a real smile.â Sarah teased as she handed mea c*cktail.
âIâm okay,â I said to her, taking a sip of my drink.
âNo, youâre not,â she said. âYouâre disappointed. I knowyouâd rather be spending this evening cuddling up with aguy who would envelop you in warmth⊠and comfort andlove.â
I rolled my eyes. âShut up, Sarah.â But I know she wasright. Christmas Eve is a pretty good time of the year tospend with someone you love.My phone rang.
âCherie,â Travis greeted me cheerfully on the other lineand for the first time since Chris told me he was cancellingour holiday plans, I smiled for real.
âHey you!â I greeted back. âSo, how does a businessmogul like Travis Cross spend Christmas Eve? Are you atsome VIP Christmas party in Manhattan or some VIP clubthat only allows entry to the rich and the famous?â
It took a while for him to answer. Then he said, âActually,Iâm standing in a snowy street in front of a line ofapartments that has a coffee shop on the corner and an oldbookshop that only sells travel books.â
For a moment, I couldnât understand what he wassaying. And then it occurred to me that Sarahâs apartmenthas a coffee shop in the corner street and a travel bookshop.
âIn Connecticut?â I asked.
âGeorge Street, to be exact,â he replied.
I couldnât believe what he said. I didnât know what tosay, but I felt like tons of frustration and sadness were liftedoff my chest. I actually ended up laughing. Sarah looked atme like I was out of mind.
âOkay. I donât know why you find that amusing, but Iwould appreciate it if could come out of your friendâsapartment.â
When I finally stopped giggling, I hung up the phone andstared at Sarah.
âWhat is going on with you?â
I gave her a big smile and then I hugged her. âMerryChristmas, Sarah. Thanks for inviting me and trying to cheerme up.â
âWhere are you going? Is Chris outside? Did he cancelhis plans?â
I shook my head. âNot Chris. Travis.â
She gave me a teasing look.
âStop that. Travis is family. Anyway, catch you later.âWhen I came out of Sarahâs apartment, I found Travisstanding across the street. I didnât hesitate. I ran to his armsand he caught me. When I pulled away, he looked at me andsmiled.
âHow did you know where I was?â
âI was in town. I got an invite to this party. I got boredafter thirty minutes and excused myself. I went to yourplace, but nobody seemed to be home so I tried Sarahâs.â
âI could be at Chrisâs.â
âYou could be. Except that I think I saw him at this lameparty without you. I did the math.â
âYou havenât met Chris. How could you know how helooked like?â I asked.
He just raised a brow at me but didnât answer.
I rolled my eyes. Immediately, I knew he had himchecked out when he found out I was dating him seriously.He smiled at me apologetically. âSorry, cherie. I canâthelp it.â
âIâm sure,â I said dryly.
âYou asked me how a busy businessman like me spendsChristmas Eve. Well, there you go. Attending a prestigiousVIP event, talking and laughing with a lot of people I donâtreally know or care about. Talking about politics orWallstreet. Listening to a bunch of phony people talk abouttheir latest shiny cars or luxurious yachts. You could say I
should be a hero for lasting thirty minutes.â He grinned.
Then he pulled away from me and intertwined our fingers.âNow, let me show you how I really want to spend myChristmas Eve.â
We walked for a couple of blocks until we reached thepark. The trees were covered in Christmas lights and we canhear faint sounds of music from afar. There was a skatingrink in the center.
âIce skating?â I asked him, laughing.
âItâs been a while.â He grinned at me boyishly. âYou upfor it?â
I smiled at him widely. âYou bet.â
We spent an hour skating. It had been months since Ilast saw him and it was a good time to catch up with eachother. We teased each other, chased each other around thepark in skates. For a while, it felt like we were kids again andwe didnât have a worry in the world. And when the snowstarted falling, I laughed like I did that one time when I waseleven, when Tom, Travis, and I had a snow fight in our front
yard.
I stayed in Travisâs suite that night. He gave me a pair ofearrings with diamonds and colored precious stones. Westayed up almost all night talking. And just when I thoughtmy day would s-ck, in the end, I got to spend Christmas Evecuddled up with a guy who enveloped me with comfort andlove.
The following Christmas, Chris came through. We didrent a cabin in the woods. By twelve midnight, I sent Travisa text message that says, âMerry Christmas, Travis. I hopeyouâre having a great time wherever you are. Miss yah. Lotsof love.â
After a minute he replied, âMerry Christmas, cherie. Iâmhaving a nice time, but nothing beats last yearâs Christmas.Miss you too. Iâll see you soon.â
After our little trip to the cabin, Chris finally agreed tocome with me in our family reunions. He wasnât availablethe last time we had one and this year, he said he will definitely make an appearance. My Aunt Victoria would be having an anniversary celebration. Chris filed his leave inadvance and made sure he was all mine that day.
The day before we were set out to take a road trip to myauntâs place, I found Chris in my apartment after I camehome from the studio.
âHey,â I greeted him, giving him a peck on the l-ips. âNotbusy with a case today?â
He shook his head. âFinished all my work yesterday.
Remember, we have your family reunion tomorrow?â
âWhat did your boss say about you being on leave for aday?â
He shrugged. âHeâs fine with it. I work overtime all thetime. I was hoping to make partner in three years.â
I smiled at him. âAnd Iâm sure you will. Youâre great!â
And I knew that with all the hĂŠrd work he put in, it wouldnâtbe long before he achieved his goal. Chris was two yearsolder than me. Being a partner at his age would be a greatachievement. I knew it would make him really happy.
I noticed a package sitting on top of my table. âWhat isthis?â
âOh, delivery came for you,â Chris replied.
I looked at the box.
âWho is Travis Cross?â Chris asked.
My face brightened at the mention of his name. Iexcitedly opened the box. in,side it, there were two smallerboxes. There were cards on top of them.I read one.
Please send Aunt Victoria and Uncle Boons myapologies. I wonât be able to make it to their weddinganniversary. But please send them my love with thispresent.
I opened the box for Aunt Victoria. I was surprised to seea matching pair of his and hers gold and diamond bracelets.One for her and another for Uncle Boons. âWow!â Ibreathed. The gift looked expensive.
âCousin?â Chris asked as he read Travisâs note for myaunt and uncle. He looked at the box with the bracelets.
âRich cousin?â
I shook my head. âNo,â I said. âA dear friend. Familyfriend.â
I picked up the note on top of the other box.
Brianne,
I saw this and thought of you. I may not be with you allthe time, but know that youâre always in my thoughts.
Love,Travis
I opened the box and found a gleaming diamond tennisbracelet in,side it. My breath caught in my throat. Thebracelet was absolutely beautiful.
âPlease tell me this family friend of yours is as old asyour Aunt Victoria!â Christian muttered under his breathafter reading Travisâs note and seeing the bracelet he gaveme.
I giggled. âDonât be silly!â I said to him.
I took the bracelet from the box and put it on. The fitwas perfectâno need to be resized, and it looked amazingon my wrist.
When I looked up at Christian, he was reading theguarantee card that came with the bracelet, certifying theclarity and carats of my diamond bracelet.
âHow old is this guy?â Christian asked again.
I didnât figure Christian to be a jealous guy, but Ianswered him wearily. âDoes he have to be old?â
âTo afford to give jewelry as expensive as this?â
I sighed and put the jewelry back in the box. âHeâstwenty-nine.â
âTwenty-nine!?â Christian looked back at medisbelievingly. âHowâŠdo you know this guy?â
âWe grew up together, Chris. Remember the âold friendâthat I always catch up with?â
âYour old friend is a guy?â
Oh, shit!
âHe was my brotherâs best friend,â I replied. âHeâs familyto me. In fact, when my parents decided they didnât want tobe a family anymore after my brother died, Travis was theonly family I had left.â
âBut his message in the card is too mushy, too cheesy tobe just friends!â Chris muttered.
I laughed. âYou canât seriously be jealous, can you?â
He sighed and then he pulled me into his arms. âI guessI am,â he said. âI love you. And I want to stick around for avery long time. I want to be the only guy in your thoughts!â
I smiled at him. âAnd you are,â I said. âTravis is a dear,dear friend. He sort of took my brotherâs place in my lifewhen Tom died.â
Chris smiled. âOkay. But next time you go out with thisguy, I want to go with you.â
I smiled widely. âSure. Iâve been wanting to introduceyou to him for years,â I said. âHeâs like a brother to me,Chris. It would mean a lot to me if you would be on goodterms.â
Chris leaned forward and gave me a passionate k-ss onthe l-ips.
I was in Chrisâs arms that night. His touch comforted me,made me feel warm. I know this man, I thought. I longed forthe comfort of his armsâŠto know that he would be there inmy future. He might not always hit the sâ±0t, but it was thecuddling after that I looked forward to most of the time.After all, thatâs what intimacy is all about.
The next day, I introduced Chris to all my relatives. Isincerely hoped this would not be the last time Chris wouldcome with me.âTell Travis Cross I wonât be able to forgive him!â myaunt Victoria said. âHis presence is much more wanted than his present.â
I laughed. âBut that is a lovely present, Aunt Vicki!â Iargued.
She beamed. âOh, it is! Look at the cut of thesediamonds! Leave it to Travis Cross to gift in style!â
âComes with the money!â I giggled. âTravis has tons!â
âI cannot believe this is your auntâs twenty-fifthanniversary. She seemsâŠso young,â Chris said after myaunt left us alone.
I laughed. âWe have a tradition in the family,â I toldChris. âAll women should marry before they turn thirty-one,or earlier. But definitely not after.â
âAnd what happens if you donât get married by thattime?â
âWe turn into frogs,â I replied.
âWhat?â He looked at me seriously.
I forgot that Chris almost didnât have a sense of humor.He was a person who was serious about life, and nothingabout that was a laughing matter.
âJust kidding. I think weâreâŠâcursedâ and are a disgraceto the family. I donât know if itâs true. But somehow, some ofmy cousins and aunts have gotten bad luck in love andrelationshÂĄps after they disregarded the tradition.â
Chris fell silent for a moment.
âSomething wrong?â I asked.
He shook his head. Then he looked at me and gave me asmack on the l-ips.
My mother made a late appearance.
âIâm sorry Iâm late, sweetheart.â She k-ssed me on thecheek. âWhereâs Travis? Did you come together?â
I shook my head. And then I took Chrisâs arm. âI camewith Chris, Mom,â I said. âRemember, I told you about him.â
âOh, yes. Iâm sorry.â She shook Christianâs hand. âI forgotyou had a boyfriend now. I guess it was just force of habitfor me. I was so used to you and Travis being together all the time, and you always come to these gatherings witheach other. Where is he?â
I shook my head. âIf I had to guess, Iâd say he wassomewhere in Europe, buying out one of his dadâscompanies. Or in a bedroom with a woman. You know him.Business and women are all he cares about.â
My mother narrowed her eyes. âI beg to disagree,â shesaid. âI think thereâs nothing he cares about in this worldmore than you. He almost raised you when your father and Iwerenât there for you, remember?â
âIâm a big girl now, Mom,â I said to her. âBut yeah, Travisdid great doing your job!â I knew there were pain and angerin my voice. But I couldnât help it.
My mother bit her lip, but instead of saying somethingback, she just nodded and then stepped back and joined myother aunts.
âThat wasâŠrude,â Chris said behind me.
I sighed. âI know. Disrespectful. But I couldnât help it. Iâmharboring all these bad feelings toward my parents. When Ilost Tom, I lost them, too. They chose to mourn in their ownworlds and left me behind.â
âAnd this Travis character didnât leave you behind?â
I shook my head. âHe promised my brother he wouldlook out for me. For a while, he was the only family I hadleft.â
âSounds like a real hero,â he muttered.
I looked back at him. âChris, please. Donât! I canât let youantagonize Travis. Heâs too dear to meâŠheâs like the brotherI found when I lost Tom.â
âWeâve been dating for two years and that name nevercame up,â he said. âAnd now, heâs all over the place.â
âI always told you about him,â I said.
âYeah. Formerly known as âold friend.ââ Chris rolled hiseyes.
âChrisâŠTravis is like my brother.â
âBut he isnât,â Chris pointed out. âIt feels uncomfortableto know that thereâs another guy who isnât a blood relativechecking up on your girlfriend, you know.â
I sighed. Travis had mentioned this to me years ago. Hehad said that not all my boyfriends would understand thekind of relationshÂĄp that we had.
âTravis may not be a relative by blood, but he has beenmore like family to me than any of my blood relatives everwere,â I argued. âPlease? Letâs just drop this? I donât want toargue about Travis. I never had a problem with him being inmy life with any of my previous boyfriends.â
âThatâs because your previous boyfriend was a fag,â hemuttered.
âAnd Iâm not going to let you talk about Eric that way,either,â I said to him. âHeâs a decent guy.â
Although Chris tried to hide it, I knew that things werenâtperfectly fine. He was quiet on the way home.I invited him to spend the night with me, but he shookhis head. âI have an early meeting tomorrow. Itâs best I stayin my apartment. Itâs closer to the office. Iâll see you Wednesday.â
I nodded and k-ssed him goodnight. When I closed thedoor, I couldnât help feeling that something was off betweenus. I wished I would understand exactly what and why.