Angel Of Mine Episode 31 – 32

Angel of mine

By Amanda Mofiat

Ins**t 31

‘What?!’ I exclaimed getting up.

I know I had messed up big time but I wasn’t expecting Jamal to end our married just like that. After what we have been through together. Couldn’t he have just given me another chance? Another chance to apologize to his mother. My brother had said some things to me and I didn’t want to leave Jamal but wait could it have been his mother who put him to this.

‘It was her right?’ I found myself asking.

‘What are you talking about Emily?’

‘It was your mother who asked you to break up with me?’

‘Emily, could you just stop it already. Emily, why do you hate my mother that much? Emily has she ever did you wrong?’

Ever since she moved in with us, that’s when everything started to fall apart. She is the one who made me change; she is the reason why my marriage is finally ending. I hate his mother already that I would want to see her dead.

‘It was this witch that told you to break up with me,’ I said pointing at his mother.

‘Emily,’ my mother called out.

‘Mum what? Aren’t you the one who told me that I should be careful around her?’

‘Imelda!’ shouted my uncle, ‘you told this child to kill her mother-in law.’

‘Brother no that’s not what I meant.’

‘Then tell us Imelda. What exactly did you say to her?’

She wanted to say something but the words couldn’t come out of her mouth.’

‘I always knew that there was something fishy about her. See Jamal, how many times did I tell you to be careful around this woman,’ said his uncle.

‘You all should shut up. This is my house and Jamal, why did you have to invite all these people.’

My grandmother got up from her seat and slapped me hærd on the cheek.

‘My son will be very disappointed in you. Jamal do what you have to do,’ she said to Jamal, ‘divorce this little witch if you have to.’

‘Mother-in law,’ shouted mum.

‘Imelda, not a single word coming out of your mouth. What kind of a mother are you? My son asked you to take good care of these children but you have failed him. My apologies Jamal, for all the pain that she caused in this family. Marriage is not only a relationsh¡p between the couple but also the relationsh¡p between two families. A woman is expected to live with the man’s family and take certain household responsibilities. Nevertheless, respect for elders and maintaining relationsh¡p boundaries is essential’

*

Emily was tongue tied with how her grandmother reacted towards the issue. Maybe I was expecting them not to agree with my decision but it looks as if they wanted me to divorce her, I looked at my wife and back at my mother. I know my mother wouldn’t have wanted me to divorce her. I was expecting the meeting to end for long but her grandmother grabbed her hand and they left my house together with some of their relatives. Ernest was the one who was supposed to be driving them and so they left together. I left the dining room and walked to my room which I have shared with my wife for a while now. I opened the door and everything in the room reminded me of Emily. I didn’t know that things would turn out this way for us. I thought maybe we were going to grow old together, have so many children.

My heart bleeds for I don’t know if I made the right decision.

*

‘Grandma, let me go,’ I said as she had some people pushing me in,side the house.

She had told my mother not to come in,side and even broke my phone; I kept on scre-ming and shouting. I wanted to see my Jamal; I wanted to ask for his forgiveness.

‘Grandma, please,’ I knelt down begging her not to lock me in,side the room but my please fell on deaf ears.

She pushed me in,side and locked the door. She had done this before when I was still a teenager and only opened for me after some few weeks. I sat down on the floor and cried out loud.

‘You shouldn’t waste your tears because I am not going to open that door for you. Look what you have done to yourself you stupid kid. Because your mother said that you should be careful around your mother-in law and you chose to mistreat her. Do you know that your mother never disrespected me for once? Can’t you see that she is the main reason why you are in this condition? You will stay in there and think about all the terrible things you have done to that poor woman.’

‘Grandma please, I will go and apologize to her. Please open the door for me.’

She instead ignored me and my pleas. I scre-med, shouted and cried out loud but she didn’t even come back for me. Weeks passed by and I was only allowed outside to go and pee, I was given food just once a day and I had missed Jamal so badly. Not hearing his voice, seeing his face, it was just driving me insane. My grandmother wouldn’t let me use the phone as well.

‘You have a visitor,’ she said after opening the door.

This was weeks after the incident at my house. I was still locked in the room.

‘Tiffany,’ I said getting up and grandmother was closing the door.

I hugged her but she didn’t hug me back. She broke the hug and walked to the bed.

‘So this is what you have become?’

‘Tiffany, I need your help. You have to help me get out of this place.’

‘And go where Emily. Remember that Jamal is about to divorce you. Have you forgotten?’

‘Tiffany.’

‘You have messed things up for yourself Emily. Why did you mistreat your mother-in law? That woman has done nothing wrong to you but loved you back but you treated her so badly.’

I couldn’t believe what Tiffany was saying to me. Wasn’t she the one who said that I should be careful around my mother-in law? Wasn’t she the one who gave me those pills and told me to get rid of her before she does to me? She has been giving me advises for the past few years and now she is here telling me all this bullsh*t.

‘I have always hated you Emily and you know what? I am happy right now, I am happy that finally you have ended up alone. Jamal was a good man, his mother was a lovely woman and you were very lucky but what did you do? You hurt him by mistreating his mother. Emily do you know why Bradley love me that much? It’s because I respect his mother as if she was my own, Emily I show her real love and I have never raised my hand at her. How many times have you slapped your mother-in law? So many times and even tried to kill her and you took my advice,’ she laughed a little, ‘I hated you so much and this was my revenge for using me back at varsity and high school. Look at you now. Locked in this room like a prisoner. Soon enough you will be a divorcee and let’s see if you will ever find a good man.’

I couldn’t take it anymore that I slapped her hærd on the cheek. Pushing her on the bed, I started punching her in the face as she kept on scre-ming. If it wasn’t for my brother who held me, I could have killed Tiffany.

‘I hate you and I will kill you!’ I shouted at her.

‘You are crazy Emily,’ she shouted back as she rushed out of the room.

‘I will kill you Tiffany;’ I cried out loud, ‘Ernest let me go.’

He let me go after making sure that I had calmed down. What have I done? I listened to Tiffany and my mother; I listened to them when they told me to be careful around my mother-in law. Tiffany is happy right now with her mother-in law and with her fiancée.

‘I want to see Jamal, Ernest. I want to see him.’

‘That will be impossible Emily. Jamal left the country yesterday with his mother.’

‘What?’ I sat down on the floor, ‘Is he coming back? Ernest.’

‘I have no idea Emily but he said that I should give you this,’ he said giving me a khaki envelope.

I grabbed it and opened it. in,side they were keys and some papers. I opened them and that’s when I realized how much I had messed up. In a split second I had lost everything that I had built with my husband.

‘He signed the papers Ernest. He signed the divorce papers. He should have given me another chance. He is saying that I should have the house, he is not taking anything. Jamal, he is gone Ernest. He is gone,’ I said crying out loud.

I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. I was hurt to the core; I had lost everything that I had built with Jamal, if only I had listened to my brother. If only I hadn’t listened to my mother and friend then none of this would have happened. My heart bleeds a lot and I wish I had done things differently, I wish I had taken good care of Jamal’s mother. Now that Jamal is gone there is absolutely nothing left for me. My mother tried to make me feel better but his comfort was useless for me, it wasn’t helping me that much.

When grandmother finally let me go, I went back to the house and Jamal had taken only what belonged to him. He only took his clothes and left our wedding photos hanging by the wall. I sat down on the sofa and cried some more. Why did I destroy such a good marriage? I was hurting and I just wanted to end it all. So I grabbed the bottle of poison which we used to kill rats and drank it all. I was never one to take my own life but what was there to live for. I had lost everything and everything that I had, every good thing. Jamal had left the country before I got to say what was on my mind. I had learnt my lesson and all I wanted to do was to apologies for mistreating his mother but he was gone. He left me and there was nothing left for me in this world, I just wanted to die. I slept on the sofa waiting for the poison to start working as I will be taking my last breath soon.

Episode 32

ONE YEAR LATER

‘Emily, where have you been?’

‘Oh please mum, enough of the drama.’

I was getting sick and tired of her. Why couldn’t she just die already? My mother had moved in with me. Let me take you back a year ago when I tried to kill myself and my mother happened to have saved my life.

‘Are you insane?’ she had asked me.

How could she possible ask me that stupid question? She was the main reason why I was trying to commit suicide. She made me lose my husband and all we had built together was now the past.

‘I hate you mum,’ I had said to her, ‘I blame you for everything.’

She had me talk to a therapist but that didn’t help me at all because I still tried to commit suicide and about the divorce papers, I actually signed the damn papers. I don’t know how but I just wanted to at least find peace.it wasn’t that easy for me to sign them; I actually signed them 3 months after Jamal had left the country. Speaking about Jamal, I never got to see him again and I have no idea where he is right now, I don’t know if he is happy without me. I had tried to stalk him on social media but he hasn’t been posting anything. Tiffany finally got married and we are no longer friends. Why would I continue being friends with someone who made me lose my marriage? If I hadn’t listened to her then I am sure right now I would have been at home with Jamal and getting along very well with my mother-in law. The past few months, they hadn’t been so polite with me. I had several people scolding me, some calling me names. Apparently I was the daughter-in law who tried to kill her husband’s mother; Tiffany had finally succeeded in destroying my reputation. None of the investors wanted to work with me; I was a recipe for disaster as they would call it. A story had leaked and I was all over social media. Right now I had been trying so hærd to gain my image back, my good reputation but it has been really hærd and I was almost broke.

‘I was out with some friends,’ I responded to her.

If it wasn’t for my brother who believed in me, who still felt as if there was something good about me I would have killed my own mother. The mere sight of her makes me puke; she wasn’t even there for me when I was going through the divorce process. Do you know who came over to comfort me? My brother’s fiancée, the girl that I used to treat so badly, used to come over to my house. She used to cook for me and made sure that I was eating something. She made my house look clean and I was so ashamed of myself. With the way I had treated her, I didn’t deserve that good treatment coming from her. If only I hadn’t been so selfish and heartless. If only I had respected my mother-in law and loved her like she was my own biological mother then right now I would be telling a happily ever story. I should have listened to a lot of people and what I have left with are so many regrets. I am lonely, unhappy, and sad and nothing seems to be making me happy. I am just waiting for the day that I die so that I can rest in peace.

I just want her to feel better but the honest truth, I had started taking drugs just to feel better about everything. She had no idea of what was happening to me. She had no idea that I was taking sleeping pills so that I can sleep. She had no idea that I used to cry to sleep. She had no idea that I was depressed, that I had fall into a depression. She had no idea because my dear mother was busy trying to keep her good reputation intact. Sometimes I would get sick, late at night but she wasn’t there to take care of me. That’s when I realized how much Jamal’s mother loved me. When she used to cook for me when I was hungry, she used to clean the house; she just used to do everything for me whenever I wasn’t feeling well or when I was feeling fine. I don’t know how many times my mother had slapped me since I broke up with Jamal. I guess my slaps were slowly coming back to me. The way I used to slap Jamal’s mother, Lord I feel so bad right now. I don’t know what had gotten into me. Now that I regret all of those bad things that I had done to her, I really wish I had just loved her back. I really wished I had respected her in a way that Jamal felt proud of me but instead I tried to kill her. If only there was a second chance right now, if only Jamal would forgive me then I would love his mother.

I would wake up early in the morning to cook, I would clean the wh0le house, I would do everything just to please my husband but stupid me had to do things in her own way.

‘I am talking to you,’ she slaps me on my cheek.

I quickly wipe away the tears that had fallen already, I had been thinking, I had drifted off to another land and coming back to reality, waking up from my reverie, I am in the room with my mother. She now treats me as if I am her step-daughter. There is no longer a bond between us as she keeps on blaming me for my failed marriage. She is the one who made me lose that marriage but no she blames me for everything. She had the audacity to compare me with Tiffany,

‘See your life. Tiffany is so happy with her husband and she gets along very well with her mother-in law.’

I have suddenly become a bad child to her. The only person who cares about me right now is my brother and his fiancée. They often visit me sometimes and every time they leave my house, I am always left in tears. I often find myself thinking about Jamal and if he is missing me. I keep thinking about the good times that we shared together, I keep thinking about so many things and I really wish I had not done what I did.

‘I am going back tomorrow.’

I know what she means by that, she is going back abroad and I don’t know why she is telling me that. I mean ever since she moved in with me, I hadn’t considered her to be around. She wasn’t supportive and she wasn’t even showing me some love. Even if she leaves tonight or tomorrow it doesn’t make any difference. Maybe I just need to be alone, I need to be by myself and think of so many things. I am not planning on taking my life because I have to ask for forgiveness. I have to see Jamal and talk to him.

‘Alright,’ I said getting up.

I want to go and lie down because it’s been a long day for me.

‘Emily.’

‘Yes, mum.’

‘Please try not to kill yourself. Move on already. They are plenty of men out there.’

If only she knew how much I loved Jamal then she wouldn’t have said that. They must have been plenty of men out there but they will never be Jamal and his mother. Do you know how many stories of mother-in laws I have heard that treat their son’s wives so badly? Plenty of them but I was so lucky, so lucky that I wish I had hold on to that. I will never find any men to marry me because I won’t be able to give him children. Yes that was my punishment for mistreating that woman; I was never going to conceive again. I literally damaged my own womb. No one did it for me but I did it on my own. So mum wasn’t supposed to say that, she wasn’t supposed to tell me about finding another man because I didn’t need one.

‘Okay,’ I said to her and walked straight to my room.

I opened the door to my room and locked it. I hadn’t eaten anything since morning and I didn’t have any appetite. I was going to eat but I had no idea when. I grabbed Jamal’s t shirt that he left for me. I don’t know if he left it by mistake or what but I sniffed it and I could feel his presence in the room. I had missed Jamal, I had missed his voice and every time I missed his voice, I used to listen to some of his voice notes that he used to send when he was at work. I had transferred them to my laptop, thank goodness that happened before my grandmother destroyed my phone. Grandmother used to call from time to time, she used to check up on me afraid that I might try to commit suicide but I had told her that was not going to happen.

As usual, I took some sleeping pills and that night I decided to overdose. I just wanted to sleep and not feel any pain at all. When I woke up the next following day, I was in a hospital and my brother was sitting on the chair.

‘She is awake,’ I heard him say.

My mother walked to my bed and she slapped me hærd on the cheek.

‘Mum!’ shouted Ernest.

Oh no tears didn’t come out, my cheeks had gotten used to that pain. She was about to slap me again when Ernest caught her hand.

‘You should let me beat her up.’

‘Enough already, can’t you see the state she is in,’ said Ernest.

‘Is she the first woman to get a divorce? Huh. I am sick and tired of her trying to take her own life. We should just give her one of those pills she used to give her mother-in law and let her swallow them all. I am tired of you Emily. Die already if you want to die,’ she clicked her tongue and walked out of the room.

That’s when I broke down and cried. My brother was there to comfort me.

‘I wasn’t trying to commit suicide Ernest. I just wanted to fall asleep and have a good night sleep. I took 2 of those pills and that’s why I had blacked out.’

‘I know those pills are very strong Emily. You shouldn’t overdose and you are already addicted to them. I have seen..You are taking drugs, I saw the injections marks. Emily why are you doing this to yourself?’

‘It hurts so badly Ernest. I miss him a lot, I miss my Jamal. I miss him…,’ I said crying out loud.

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Amy