Hear my story episode 3

HEAR MY STORY..Part 3
It was Pastor Mrs. She was on her way to school that Monday morning as she taught in a primary school at Oyan but she
quickly branched at my place to check on me.
She came with a basket containing pepper soup, jollof rice, vegetable soup and obe ila alasepo (okro soup with stew
ingredients).
She said she didn’t know the one I would love to eat, but I should try and take the pepper soup as it would deal with that malaria fever. She told me to warm them as I could see she brought them out of the freezer that morning, and couldn’t wait to warm them before leaving the house to prevent her from getting late to school.
I collected the basket from her, appreciated her and sat on my plastic chair.
“Can I drop you at the health centre for your injection?” since its on the same route to my school”She asked.
“I’m not ready yet ma, I will take a bike. Thank you ma”.
“It’s a pleasure my dear. So,how are u feeling now?.”
“I’m better today ma”.I answered.
“Oh!.Thank God. My mind was with you throughout the night. I really couldn’t sleep. I started blaming myself for allowing you to stay here all alone, I should have forced you to come with us yesterday. But hope you slept well,and….”
I switched off!..I was hearing in my spirit “Open up to her!.Open up to her!!”.
Then i heard another voice contrary to that one saying “Don’t try it!.you will disappoint her. You can see how she loves and
cares for you, she’ll withdraw the gesture..What if….”
Suddenly, I felt Pastor Mrs’ hand on my shoulder.
She tapped me and said “Are you okay?.I’ve called you twice, but you didn’t respond.
What is bothering you?.What are you thinking of?.Feel free to
share it with me, i’m a mother..”
Before she could finish her sentence, I cut in “Nothing ma”.
“Hunhun!.Don’t tell me there’s nothing when obviously there’s something. That’s a lie and I don’t expect you as a child of God to tell one. If ouu don’t want to share it just say you don’t want to share it, instead of saying there’s nothing when there’s something.”
I was dumbfounded. I didn’t know when I said “Okay ma,I will tell you later”.
“That’s better my dear. See you later then. Hurry up so u can go for your injection on time. Make sure you eat before you go.” She
said.
“Okay ma.Thanks Mum.”
She left.
I got to d health centre that morning and saw a choir member. She was surprised to see me,and also to hear that i didn’t attend d burial of Bode’s dad.
When she asked “why?” i told her i was sick,but didn’t tell her beyond that.
As i was getting back home,i met Bode coming out of d corpers’ quarters.
I was a bit shy to look at his face, remembering what happened between us. I was no longer free with him. I wish i
didn’t see him.
He gave me souvenirs of his dad’s burial,and said his mum sent her greetings,and that she promised to come and visit me as soon as she could go out.
I took those things from him and thanked him.
Then he said “Sis Sewa,i’m indeed very sorry for what happened last week. Its d devil. Pls forgive me..”
He wanted to hold my hand,but i didn’t allow him.
I said “Its fine! Its fine!!” .Just go.”
Then what happened next?
 
I didn’t attend choir practise on saturday nor church service on sunday because i didn’t want to see Mrs Williams. I’ve made up my mind not to tell her anything and i knew she would ask me if she set her eyes on me.
I didn’t know i was only adding more petrol to a burning fire.
Some choir members came again after service to check on me,thinking i haven’t recovered fully or not strong enough to
attend service. Of course when i saw them,i pretended to be weak still.
Bode came later in d evening when everybody had left.
He said “I knew you didn’t come to church today because of me, not because of your health. You refuse to forgive me despite my pleas. I told you its d work of d devil, please let’s be doing as we used to do before..please now”..He began to weep.
I was moved with passion when i saw him weeping. I went to him, gave him a gentle pat on d back, and said “That’s okay. Stop crying. It wasn’t only your fault,but mine too. We both need to ask God for forgiveness and make sure it doesn’t happen….”
Before i could finish my sentence,he got up,held me and began to k-ss me. Every attempt to rescue myself out of his hand failed. At a time,i surrendered,and again….It happened!.
Before i could put myself together,Bode dressed up and ran out of my room.
I started weeping.
“Lord,I’ve done it again. I disobeyed U. I didn’t yield to d voice of d Holyspirit. What will i do now?”.
For days,i was praying and weeping,asking God for forgiveness and what to do,i didn’t hear anything as I heard it earlier. It was so obvious that something was wrong with me,as i was a shadow of myself. Even my dressing changed, a 60yr old woman would dress better.
Everybody was asking,”what’s wrong with u?.Hope there’s no problem. Are u still sick?”.
My usual answer was “No problem,all is well”..but within me,i knew nothing was well.
I wasn’t attending mid-week services also. I would prefer to be in my room,and be thinking. The thought that bothered me
most was “Will God ever forgive me?
If d first one was a mistake,what about this one?”
Mrs Williams called me one Wednesday evening after having prayer meeting in church.”Sis Sewa,i noticed you were not in
church today for d prayer meeting,how are u?.Are u not okay yet?”
“I’m fine ma”.
“Then,why have you been keeping yourself away from church?”
“Nothing ma.”
“You’ve started again. Oh! Tha reminds me,you promised to tell me something d other day,will you come and see me tomorrow after school? I will be waiting for you at d church office.”
“What time ma?”
“Let’s make it 4pm”.
“Ok ma”.
She hung up.
My heart began to beat very fast. I could hear d sound.
What will i say? Maybe i should just cook up a story..but,what if she knew it’s all lies. Oh my God!..what mess have i gotten myself into? How will i get out of this now?
As i was pondering over this,my phone rang.
It was my dad.  I picked it.
What did he say?
 
Daddy said he would be celebrating his 60th birthday on 30th of May,and would want me to come and grace d occasion with him and other members of d family.
I promised to come,but after d conversation, i started praying that i would have gotten over d mood i was before going to Lagos,because i didn’t want anybody in my family to have an idea of what i was going through.
The next day i had an appointment with my pastor’s wife. I decided not to go as i didn’t know how to tell her what was wrong with me.
Fortunately for me,she called around 2.30pm to inform me that we would have to postpone d meeting as she needed to
attend to a matter urgently. I was very happy to hear that.
To avoid people coming to my house again,i decided to attend sunday service d following week,only to discover that Bode was absent. I didn’t even ask of him as i preferred not
to see him,but i overheard someone telling d pastor he had gone back to school.
Immediately after d service,Mrs Williams sent an usher to tell me she was waiting for me at d church office.
When i got there,she asked me what was bothering me.
I was too scared to tell her d truth,so i said “It’s family matter ma,my dad and mum are not in good terms,and it’s seriously affecting me….”
She said “Are u sure?”
“I said “Yes ma”.
“Anyway,if that is d case, don’t let that affect you. There’s no marriage without its own crises. God will be glorified in that
union,it doesn’t have to bother you, afterall, you know how to pray,just pray for them, and everything will be well.” Then she paused,and looked at me “Sis Sewa,are u sure this is what is bothering u? I’m having a feeling you are not telling me d truth.”
“That is it ma.”
“Okay. Let’s pray.”
She prayed with me,and i left.
As i was going home, d Holyspirit came with his rod again.”Hunnnn! You have just told another lie!! That’s another blunder..Go back and confess your sins.”
I refused to go back.
How would i face her to tell her i told a lie,after asking me twice if i was sure i was telling d truth,and i said yes.?.
About a week before my dad’s birthday,i fell sick .I was throwing up,nothing stayed in my tummy,in fact i couldn’t eat.
But i just treated malaria,why this again? I said to myself.
I became very weak.
I decided not to call anybody’s attention..i was fighting it alone.
Then,very early one Saturday morning,Pastor Mrs came to my house. I was so surprised to see her.
“What’s wrong with you Sis Sewa?”
“Just a bit weak ma”.
“Just a bit weak?,when did it start”.
“About a week ago ma”
She looked at me closely,and said “No,it cant be. Let me see your eye and your palm”
She checked both.
“You are pregnant!”
“No ma, I’m not,its malaria”.
She sat on my bed,and was looking at me.
“I said you are pregnant!.I knew it last sunday when i saw you,but i didn’t want to be too fast. Okay,if you are not sure,let’s go to d clinic.”
“No ma,i’m not pregnant,i’m sure i’m not”.
“Now,tell me,what did you do? Did you sleep with any man?”
I didn’t answer.
“Oh my God! You? Of all people! I’ve been using you to counsel sisters in church, i saw you as a role model to them….”
She bursted into tears.
I started weeping too.
Tbc