Blind Desire


Episode Sixteen.
It took me three weeks to recover from the shock…after i had witnessed mama and papa’s death at the village square, i had collapsed there and i woke up two days after incident with a very terrible fever that caused me to be in bed for a week plus.

Sometimes i woke up in the middle of the night and when i remembered mama, i always ended up crying. I missed papa too because no matter what he did, he was still my father.

I resumed school a week after i was discharged. Henna and the girls had come to visit me when i was sick and when i asked Henna how she was taking her mother’s death, she shrugged it off saying Grace had never been a mother to all of them so her death didnt really pain her very much.

Ifeanyi visited me periodically and told me he had seen me at the village square immediately he came down from the car. He had purposedly looked around knowing i’d be there.

I also asked him if he missed his mother and he said he wasnt…she had not really cared for all her children…all she cared about was money, fame and luxury.

When Mrs Asemota stepped into the class and saw me, she smiled and told me to see her after the class.

‘you must have gone through alot dear Ivyy….’ she said as she sat on her chair in the staff room. She drew another chair close to her and told me to sit.

I sat.

‘you see my dear, i went through the exact thing you are passing through now. My parents were killed in front of me and i did nothing to help them. I was just 13 then. Armed robbers had attacked our house, raped me in front of my parents who were held at gunpoint and after raping me, they shot both of them…’ she paused and looked at me.

‘you must have gone through alot Mrs Asemota…’

‘yes i did…because i had nowhere to go. We were in a foreign village as at that time and i never knew any of my relative…both from my mother’s side and from my father’s side…but i knew i came from Umueke. The villagers of Uzoi brought me back here together with my parents’ corpse and they were buried. The then Igwe handed me to a childless woman as at that time who promised to take care of me…but unfortunately, the woman maltreated me an sometimes made me wish that i died together with my parents…things actually became worse when i discovered i was pregnant from the rape incident…the woman decided there and then to make me suffer. I gave birth to the child…and i abandoned it with her and ran away to Amakpe…where i was taken in by a kind reverend sister who sent me to school and made sure i was well educated..and when i was done with my education, i came back for my child and i got a job here almost immediately and today, i can afford a luxurious apartment, a good car, my daughter is a happily married woman with kids, what more can i ask for? Yes, i wasnt able to get married…i couldnt get a husband because no man in Umueke wanted to marry a nonV-rgin and a woman with a child as at that time’ She held my chin.

I smiled.

‘this is why you must keep yourself my child…i heard about the rumours about you and that riff-raff, Ralph and i was very disappointed…i was like, what does that boy have to offer you…forget about his parents’ status…dont let him fool you with his parents’ money…he’s still under their roof and he has a very long way to go before he can be actually be called a man. Se.x is something that the generation of nowadays hunger for like there is no tomorrow. I will not lie to you…i had se.x with some men in Amakpe in my school…and yes i enjoyed it but what did i gain? And i found myself praying and hoping for my period to come every end of the month. Sometimes, i leave the classroom just to check if my p-nties were stained and whenever my period came, despite the cramps, it became the happiest day of my life. The men i all had se.x with told me that they were going to marry them afterall so we should just start having se.x now, that it doesnt matter since we were still going to get married. Maybe they did have intentions to marry me but when they found out i was a nonV-rgin, they only had their taste and abandoned me to nurse my heartbreak alone…i sold myself cheaply to many men in Amakpe…yes, maybe it was not my fault that i was raped…but maybe, if i had kept myself after then, i would have found a man who would understand me, but i didnt, i made a mistake…you see, i derive pleasure advicing young girls like you and telling them my story, because the wise ones would learn from it. You are the brightest student in this school my dear and you have a bright future and as your educational mother, i wont let you ruin it with your hands, maybe ur mother is not here to advice you anymore, maybe your mother is nt here for you to turn to anymore…but just know dat i’ll always be there for you…and feel free to open up to me anytime anyday’

She drew me close to her and hugged me.

I wept on her bossom. I missed my mother.

Episode Seventeen.
Aunt Chime called me after a silent dinner night. Yes, after the death of mama and papa, i had continued living in their house, i had nowhere to go. She had been very nice to me taking care of my medical bills and school-related fees…she was a very nice woman..but i hated her and barely greeted most times when our paths crossed.
I preferred eating in my room than in the sitting room but that particular night, she had insisted i ate with her and i had grudgingly agreed.

After clearing the table, i was about heading to my room when she called me and asked me to sit.

‘Ivyy, i made a mistake…’ she began ‘i should never have tried to destroy your parents’ marriage..not that i’m more like an enemy of progress but i had a particular revelation years ago before you father married your father that your mother would be the cause of you father’s death…and so i only tried protecting my brother but he never listened to me…’ she paused and wiped her eyes with the edge of her wrapper.

‘i agree that we all made mistakes, your mother shouldnt have cheated on your father but your father shouldnt have equally cheated on her in the first place..and i should have also encouraged him to forgive your mother instead of reporting her to the council but i insisted he did the later because i felt she was ill-luck and she was going to corrupt your future. Ivyy, i’ve always loved you since you were a child and i always wished you the might not be my child biologically but i just want you to know that i love you as a mother will love her child. I’m only human and i’m liable to make mistakes..and i’m sorry that your mother had to die because of my mistakes. I dont know if you will ever forgive me, but nwam biko, meremu ebere (have mercy on me), forgive me, lets go back to the way we used to be before all this problems started. I promise to take care of you the best way i can, even more than your parents took care of you when they were alive. This silence btw us is killing me, you dont know how it feels!’

Ifeanyi and i strolled to the garden that particular evening…i had so many thoughts on my mind, though i tried my best to get rid of them so i could savor the presence of my Ifeanyi, he was going back to the city soon.

We sat on the bank of the stream which was unusually empty. I snuggled closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder.

Ifeanyi was a wonderful guy…few months of dating and he was yet to pester me for s€× or even a k-ss..just brief casual hugs between us and he was okay with it.

I was determined to heed to, miss Asemota’s advice…but wait a minute, why was that woman bearing Mrs instead of Miss when she wasnt married. I laughed when i remembered that every teacher in that school had a Mr and Mrs attached to their names, so probably not to feel inferior, she added hers too, lollz.

‘why are you laughing?’ Ifeanyi asked carressing my hair.

‘nothing. Just remembered something that happened in school’

‘tell me about it’



‘because you are nothing but a curious cat. And have you ever heard that curiousity killed the cat?’

‘no, i’ve not heard…tell me, how did curiousity kill the cat?’

I laughed ‘you are not serious’

He placed his hand under my chin and looked at me ‘have you ever been k-ssed before?’

I shook under his stare. In my heart, i knew it was YES…i thought of Ralph, that sc-mbag.
But my head was scre-ming NO NO NO! I had no other choice.

‘no’ i replied curtly and shyly.

‘permit me. Should i?’ he angled his head closer but paused looking at my eyes for permission.

I just closed my eyes and drew closer to him.

His soft cold l-ips touched mine…his felt different from Ralph’s. Ralph’s had been hærd and rough but his were soft and gentle like a perfect gentleman that he was.

The intrusion of his tongue brought out a soft mo-n from me..this was it. This was true love. Our tongues battled for intimacy as he s—-d on my lower lip. This was it…i didnt care if Ralph had k-ssed me before or not…this was my first k-ss as far as i was concerned.

‘i love you Ivyy’

‘i love you too’

I was rushing to the library with my books in my hands when a junior student approached me and said senior Henna was calling me. He led me to an empty and des**ted classroom and ran away.

I peeped in,side ‘Henna?’ It was somewhat dark, what was Henna doing here?

Immediately i stepped in,side, the door was shut hærd.

I turned and i saw Ralph…though it was dark, i saw the hungry look in his eyes and i shivered.

‘Ralph…what the fuc.k….’

He attacked me with his l-ips…rough and gentle at the same time.

I protested with my hands but he held my hands tightly to my back.

I became weak under the hærdness of his l-ips. And slowly, i gave in, returning his k-ss slowly at first but soon, we were practically tugging at each other’s k-ss.

It was so intense that i had loosed my hands from the back and had drew him closer to me. His hands tugged at my shirt.

Unbottoning my blouse quickly. His hot hands covered my bre.asts quickly and i mo-ned. What was it about Ralph that drove me crazy? That gave me the inability to resist him.

He laid me on the ground, and unbuckled his belt bringing out his hærd member.

He raised my skirt high above my wa-ist and took off my p-nties. He went down on me, k-ssing, s-cking, biting everywhere he could.

Then he came up on me and k-ssed me again, his member positioned at my opening.

He tried enter but it was difficult for him. I wasnt in control of my senses anymore and i urged him to try h-rder.

Well, he finally did and plunged into me.

I winced in pain.

Episode Eighteen.
‘heyy babe, whats happening? You look dull?’ Henna asked.
We were both walking home. Oma and Ije were ahead of us gossiping about whatever.

‘nothing’ I felt bitter within me. I couldnt explain how i felt, i felt like killing me. I felt like standing in front of the wh0le world and announce that i’m a sl.ut. How could i? How could i let that Ralph disV-rgin me?

I had planned to give my V-rginity to my husband as my wedding gift, i had planned to heed to Mrs Asemota’s advice. To think he hadnt used a c-ndom. What if i got pregnant? Oh my God!

Without being told, i knew Ralph was never going to accept it…and even if he did, that was going to put a stop to my educational career. I felt very stupid.

Promiscous Henna hadnt gotten pregnant…God, pls, dont make me pregnant, God plss.

I saw the way Ralph and his friends looked at me with a mischievous grin whenever i passed and i knew immediately that he had told them about our encounter. He must be feeling like a player now.

‘maybe you should tell me whats going on? Is it Ifeanyi or is it Ralph?’ Henna asked, her voice suddenly calm.

‘i…its not Ifeanyi…’ I felt stupid and worthless. Was it right opening up to her? Was it right opening up to her? What if she told Ifeanyi? No sister would want her brother to be with someone like me. But then she was more experienced in stuffs like this.

‘then its Ralph…that bast.ard! I knew he wasnt going to respect himself…i’m going to put him in his place tomorrow…what did he do this time?’

A tear rolled down on my cheek and i sat on the ground under a tree. Henna stopped walking and looked at me with this THIS IS MORE SERIOUS DAN I THOUGHT look on her face.

She waved at Ije and Oma ‘make una dey go, we dey come una hear?’

‘i no go wait for una oo…’ It was Oma’s voice ‘i have to be with Ikechukwu’

‘dey go jareh! Who say make you wait for me? No injure that boy thing with your eh-hen’ she coughed.

‘your nyash!’ Oma cursed and they laughed.

‘Ivyy bye…’ Ije waved at me.

Due to the distance btw us, i was sure she didnt see my tears. I waved back at her ‘see you tommorrow’

She smiled and walked ahead to catch up with Oma.

‘now tell me…’ Henna said sitting beside me on the ground ‘whats eating you up?’

Henna looked at me, she was slightly disappointed, before she looked down.

‘Ivyy, do you….do you know who disV-rgined me?’ she asked after listening to my story.


‘my father…’ she replied. I opened my mouth to say something but couldnt ‘then i was dating Victor..the guy who travelled out of the country recently. I’ve never told anyone this but…my dad and i…we…we still have s€× with each other…yes, i know its wrong and you might want to judge me…but i cant help it. I’ve tried to stop it so many times Ivyy but its addicted to me, i cant help but feel something for him whenever he touches me, whenever he makes love to me. I love him Ivyy..apart from being my father, i love him as a lover. My mother’s death brought us closer, to the extent, we now share the same bedroom. See, i loved Victor, i loved him so much and i still love him even now…he’s the only guy i’ve ever loved, apart from my dad. I was planning to give my V-rginity to him but dad took it away from me. It happened on the eve of my 14th birthday, mama went out for a meeting and she came back late. Ifeanyi was hanging out with some friends and Kainene travelled out of the village. He came into my room..and he made so many promises to me, he told me he loved me…and we had s€×. I enjoyed it Ivyy and he promised to give me more as far as i kept this a secret from everyone and i did. Dating Victor just ended with k-sses and hugs…i couldnt bring myself to sleep with him when i was sleeping with me dad and whenever he k-ssed me, i thought of my dad. I love Victor, but i love my dad as well. I was confused as to who to choose, but after a while, i chose dad. And i broke up with Victor…’ she wiped her left eye with her finger. Henna hated crying.

I looked at her and she continued ‘i totally understand what you are going through now Ivyy, believe me. You might love Ifeanyi but the s€×ual tension btw you and Ralph is just to high and uncontrollable. Being in the same situation myself and not knowing how i handle it, i will advice you to try fighting whatever you have for Ralph, devote all your time to Ifeanyi and avoid being in hidden or dark places with Ralph. And them most importantly, you must find out time to tell Ifeanyi the truth’


‘yes…relationsh¡ps built on lies do  not last long’

I closed my eyes. Was Henna right?

Episode Nineteen.
I snuggled coser to Ifeanyi to tap warmth from his. His hands encircled my wa-ist and pecked my cheeks…i smiled at him.

Henna picked the packet of cigarette on the table and brought out a stick causing Ifeanyi to frown.

‘common big bro, its just a stick…its been really long i had a smoke, please…’ Henna pleaded as she brought the cigarette to her l-ips.

‘Henna, this lifestyle of yours will not help you. No man wants to marry a wayward woman who smokes and drinks like there’s no tomorrow. You’re just seventeen..not even up to the age of smoking….’ Ifeanyi said.

Yes, even i had complained several times about the smoking habit of Henna but she didnt care. She believed in living her life to the fullest, having the most handsome guys at her beck and call, smoking all she wanted and drinking all she wanted! That was how she wanted to live her life.

‘Its my life Ife…’ she lighted the cigarette.

Ifeanyi shrugged resignedly ‘true, its ur life little sis, just trying to be concerned since you’re my sister..’

‘i appreciate…’ Henna said puffing thick smoke into the air.

I looked at Oma and saw she was grinding Chijioke already…Ije was k-ssing her boyfriend, Zakky..the ugliest boy in our class. Seriously, i dont know what Ije saw in him but she loved him to death. She had other boyfriends, Okechukwu and the likes of them, but she never played with Zakky.

Henna relaxed her back on Jude as they shared her cigarette, laughing to themselves. Everyone seemed occupied with their boyfriends.

Ifeanyi raised my head and k-ssed me lightly on my l-ips ‘lets go to the car…’ he breathed k-ssing my hair.

I understood what he meant…he actually meant having s€× in the car. I shook my head.

‘no, i’d rather remain here’ i replied.

I saw Henna looking at me and with her head she urged me on. She had insisted i told Ifeanyi the truth about Ralph and i, but how could i? How could i ever tell Ifeanyi that i had s€× with Ralph and he disV-rgined me? How would Ifeanyi look at me? Would he ever forgive me? What if he ends it with me? What if Henna was wrong dis time? Werent somethings better left unsaid?

I sighed ‘okay, lets go’

He smiled at me and we stood up from the sand. We were actually in Umueke’s playground, more like a village beach, with sharp sands and a small river by the side.

Immediately we entered the car and rolled up our windows, Ifeanyi grabbed me, k-ssing me and squeezing my bosoms. I mo-ned.

I wanted more and i drew closer.

His hands went under my skirt playing with my, he pinched it softly and i gro-ned in ecstacy.

He unbuckled his belt and brought down his boxer…my eyes bulged at the size of his member…his were twice the size of Ralph’s.

He came atop of me and reached for a k-ss, but i threw my head to the side.

He stopped and looked at me ‘whats wrong?’

‘nothing…’ i replied ‘Ife, please stand up, i’m not in the mood for this’

‘but Ivyy, you were responding just now…’

‘i said i’m not in the mood please…’ i pushed him away and sat up adjusting my blouse ‘i’ll do this in my own appropriate time, i dont want to rush’

‘are you a V-rgin?’

That question broke my heart. I wanted to scre-m yes! I had been a V-rgin until three days ago! When that jerk….

I saw the hope in his eyes and melted…i bursted into tears.

He held me…surprised and shocked at my tears ‘Ivyy, why are you crying?’

‘i was…i was raped Ife…’ what i said even surprised me…where did that come from.

‘what?!’ he looked shocked.

I had to continue what i already started. Henna would be disappointed in me, yes, but i had to do what i had to do to keep Ifeanyi. I loved him.

‘i was raped. That basta.rd Ralph raped me!’

Am i doing the right thing?

Episode 20.
I slept that night with a heavy heart. What have i turned into? Why did i have to lie to Ifeanyi about Ralph? What if he found out the truth…that i wasnt raped my Ralph but had s€× and not only had s€× with him, enjoyed it to its fullest. Henna would be disappointed in me…oh God, what have i done?

I made up my mind to have nothing to do with Ralph anymore. I was going to focus on Ifeanyi because i loved him. It was him i truly loved not Ralph.

I was going to complete treat Ralph like he was invincible, not even bantering words with him. Yes, maybe he suceeded with me, but its over. He was a mistake i was going to regret for the rest of my life.

Exams came and went. It was holiday time!
I loved holidays…no, i used to love holidays.
Because back then, when mama was alive, i used the holidays as an opportunity to assist her in her trade and also learn alot of things from her. I was free from books and morning bells.

Henna made me promise i was going to visit her house on sunday and i agreed to it. While Oma was going to Owe to visit her aunt, Ije was going to travel to Owerri to learn trade and come back only when school resumes. So it was just Henna and i.

I had succeeded…i had escaped Ralph…or so i thought.

I wondered why he didnt expose the fact that he had finally disV-rgined me to everyone….maybe God was at work because it was really surprising, unlike Ralph.

I was surprised to see aunt Chime’s ladies bike parked in front of the compound, meaning she was home. It was unusual of her to remain at home by this time of the day.

I shrugged. Maybe she was ill or just came in to pick up something…i was surprised to see a huge black car parked in,side the compound too. Who owned the car? Was aunt Chime having a visitor?

I decided to follow the backdoor, but it was locked, so i had no other choice but to follow the frontdoor.

As i neared the front door however, i heard some funny noises.

I placed my ears on the door and heard mo-ns coming from aunt Chime.

‘um…ahn…yesss…dats it…ouch…onowu, thats it..ah..’

My hands flew to my house. Onowu? Henna’s father? In this house? S——g aunt Chime? This is so impossible. Maybe i heard wrongly, it certainly cannot be the onowu.

By this time, her mo-ns had increased ‘aww yeah…ah…ah..ah..onowu ehhhh’

I stared at the black phone Ifeanyi had gotten me yesterday and i smiled. Ifeanyi was a generous and a very nice guy. He made my heart flutter beautifully. The phone was just like Henna’s, if not bigger than Henna’s and i wonder if i could be able to operate it. I hid it from aunt Chime because i didnt know how i was going to explain to her how i got the phone.

There was a knock from the parlour door and i quickly hid the phone under my bed. Who was that?

Was aunt Chime home?

I ran to the door and opened it and i gasped. Ralph! Oh my God, my heart pounded loudly against my chest and i wondered if he heard it. He had a wicked grin on his face.

‘hi baby…’ he called sed-ctively and winked ‘happy to see me?’

I wanted to bang the door on his fac but i couldnt, i just stared at him. That was my mistake because he quickly pounced on me, chewing on my l-ips.

That was when i realised that i was always longing for his k-ss because no sooner had he k-ssed me that my hands left the door and i wrapped my hands around his neck, responding to his k-ss with full vigor.

He kicked the door shut with his legs and we fell on a sofa, with him on top.

He sunclad his hand into my top m-ssaging my br.easts through my b-ra.

Then he tore it off, unhooked the b-ra and took off his shorts. I closed my eyes in desire as he went down on me. Yes, Ralph knew the right buttons to press to make me desire more.

Suddenly he stopped, and i opened my eyes, i looked at him in confusion, what was wrong? Why did he stop?

‘Ivyy, are you sure you want this?’ he asked with a smile.

I was confused. Wasnt my mo-ns enof to tell him that i wanted this and more?

‘tell me you want this’ he said sitting up.

I nodded.

‘say it with your mouth Ivyy, what do you want?’



‘Ralph, please…’ i mo-ned as his hands touched my cli.t.


‘i want you…’

‘want me to?’



‘to just  FU.CK ME’ i practically scre-med it as his tongue went down on me again.

I mo-ned.

Episode 21.
The phone Ifeanyi gave me worsened the wh0le situation. Yes, i still hid it from aunt Chime, and i had just three contacts on my phone, Ifeanyi’s, Henna’s and Ralph’s.

Like i was saying earlier, the phone Ifeanyi gave me worsened the wh0le situation. Ralph and i talked very often and we met severally at the inn or at his house. I no longer regretted anything. If anything, i enjoyed it more than ever.

Ralph was still a jerk, several times i had caught him with girls but i just let it slide…because i didnt love him. I could share him with anyone. As far as he satisfies me with what i want, then he’s free to keep as many girlfriends as he wishes.

We laughed.

I was sitting on Ifeanyi’s laps, Kainene and her fiance were seated close to each other on the exquisite sofa. Henna and Jude were dancing together, rocking each other and some of Kainene’s friends were also dancing.

Their sitting room was a mess..filled with cigarettes and alcohol bottles, biscuit wraps and what have you.

We were celebrating Kainene’s engagement in a small way. And of course, the onowu was not around, if he had been, then he wouldnt have allowed us mess up his sitting room like this.

The onowu was a strict man and it still baffled me how a strict man like him could be sleeping with his own daughter and at the same time, s——g my aunt. I found it amusing.

‘yeah baby, rock him h-rder!’ Kainene cheered at Henna and Jude.

Yes, i know that we were all having fun and all that. But, as a senior, when you see your junior heading towards the wrong path, you draw him or her back, and tell him/her the dangers of following that path. But that was not the case of Kainene and Ifeanyi.

Yes, sometimes Ifeanyi complained, but he wasnt that strict with it. He just shrugged saying it was her life, which was not supposed to be so. They were siblings from the same womb and one’s lifestyle should concern the other.

Kainene was even worse, instead of correcting her sister, she even encouraged her…what sister would do that?

Henna smoked, drank and even k-ssed her boyfriend in their presence without fear because she knew they werent going to complain, which was wrong. Even if she did those things, she was supposed to have fear and not do it in their presence but it wasnt entirely her fault, if her siblings has been strict siblings, she wouldnt have been doing such in their presence.

It was wrong.

Yes, i’m equally not a saint, i know. I was doing something very terrible, something unforgivable…something unpardonable.

Ifeanyi wrapped his hands around my chest, his hands pressed tightly against my br.easts. I turned to him and smiled.

‘naughty boy…’

‘lets go to my room, let me show you how naughty i am’ he grinned.

‘no, thank you. Dont spoil me’

My phone beeped. I had recieved a text message. I knew it was from Ralph, no one else.

I climbed down from Ifeanyi’s laps, took my phone and headed to the refridgerator, like i wanted to collect something from it.

I quickly opened the text message. It read;

“Heyy beauty, meet me at the inn by five. I promise you a nice s€×, one Ifeanyi would never be able to give you in a life time”

That alone made me hor.ny. I felt w-t between my thighs. I quickly replied him.

“I trust you, you never disappoint me. We’ll meet but by six. I’m at Henna’s house and i dont know when Ifeanyi is going to release me, later”

I catwalked back to Ifeanyi’s laps. I couldnt wait for six. I was already hot. Maybe i could make do with Ifeanyi till six, so i leaned closer and whispered in his ears.

‘lets go to your room’

‘really?’ he grinned ‘lets go’

I stood up and we walked to his room with Kainene winking at us.

Immediately we got to the room, we started k-ssing and fell on the bed.

His hands went under my top pinching my br.easts. But instead of me to feel excited, i felt irritated.

I tried to enjoy it, even faking a mo-n but i couldnt.

Not that he wasnt doing it well, he was but i just couldnt enjoy it.

It wasnt turning me on, instead i felt like throwing up in his face and slapping him.

Not that i didnt love Ifeanyi, i did, but rom-nce with him was something i didnt enjoy and didnt look forward to unlike Ralph and i.

He noticed i had stilled and stopped ‘i’m sorry, the rape is still haunting you isnt it?’

Yes, he believed i was raped and that was why i was finding it difficult to engage in intimacy.

‘yes…’ i nodded biting my l-ips.

He rolled off to the other side of the bed and drew me to himself ‘dont worry, you’ll be fine. Sorry for rushing you. I love you’

‘i love you too Ife’ i snuggled closer to him.

I laid on his chest and smiled inwardly.

I checked the wall clock and it was still four.

Can  someone help me tell the clock to fastforward to six o’clock?

I’d really appreciate.

To be continued

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