Crime and Adventure episode 10
© Mazi OMenuko
With phone in my hand, ATM card and
cash in my pocket I stood like a
condemned criminal, tied on a stake
awaiting a command for the soldiers in
waiting to riddle his body with bullets.
I stared at her blankly as she stared
back at her phone in my arms. What was
I going to say I was doing with her
phone? Did she notice the missing atm
card also? Was this the end of my end of
year adventure? I took a quick glance at
her handbag lying carelessly open at the
floor. It looked exactly like I left it.
Then her phone rang in my hand. I still
held on to it while it rang.
“Where did you go with my phone?!” She
queried as she sprang up to recover her
phone from me. I handed it to her and
made to explain but it was obvious she
was not interested in my explanation.
She had picked the call already and
started talking on the phone.
“Hey babe!” She continued. “Missing
“Don’t worry dear, I will be back
tomorrow…how is aunty Dee?…”
I concluded she was speaking with her
daughter. She was so engrossed with the
call and didn’t notice when I moved and
sat at the other end of the bed close to
the bag. I replaced the atm inside the
side-zip of the bag and headed into the
I moved to the cabinet and brought out
the carton. I opened it and saw rolls of
tissue paper, tubes of cream, light make-
up, soaps and the other usual things
My first thought was that she had
offloaded the cash and replaced it with
Then I remembered I had switched the
cartons and moved the cash carton to
the drawer of the wall mirror. I smiled at
myself, relieved that the cash was still
I brought out the cash-carton and
opened it. The wards of cash were still
intact. I added the night’s withdrawal
into the carton and closed it; this time
around, I folded the edges in my bid to
seal it. It looked good.
“Where did you go with my phone?” The
lady asked after receiving her call.
I told her my phone’s battery had died
down since I didn’t come with my
charger so I used her phone to check my
She stared at me for some seconds like
she didn’t believe me.
“Outside?” She asked.
“Yes, I needed a drink so I went to the
She stared at the phone on the bed and
back to me.
“Was that your daughter?” I had decided
not to ask personal question but right
now, anything to end this heated
interrogation was a welcome
“Yes!” She answered with an excited
“She’s missing her mama and her aunty
Dee doesn’t let her watch the tv.” She
said with another douse of excitement
like she was really thrilled.
“Can I see her pictures?” I asked and she
waved that I come closer.
I lay beside her on the bed as she
scrolled through her media files.
Unending pictures of she and her
beautiful daughter. At first I pretended to
be interested in the pix but it later
caught my attention. They were lovely
pix, exhibition of the undying bond
between mother and daughter.
“Her name is Mimi” she informed me.
“Lovely name.” I added.
“She’s adorable, intelligent, smart and
full of life.” She continued.
“My friend seem to be interested in you.”
She announced to me, referring to her
“I have my good charms.” I teased and
“She love adventures too.” She said.
“Are you advertising your friend to me?” I
teased again trying not to make the
conversation serious. I came for
adventure and not to be passed on like a
“You don’t like her?” She asked.
“She’s married, I don’t do married
ladies.” I answered, hoping it will end the
“And me?” She asked.
“What about you? You’re not married are
you?” I asked, making a surprise face.
“Babies don’t fall down from heaven, do
they?” She asked.
I looked at her face and she feigned
seriousness; then burst out in laughter. I
was still confused at what was making
“You need to see the look on your face,
like you just ate poo!” She said and I
“You’re not married, are you?” I asked.
“Does that change anything?” She
I felt she wasn’t ready to answer my
question so I let it be.
We had few more rounds of s£x before
retiring for the night.
In the morning, I kept my fingers
crossed, hoping and praying that Eve
succeeded in swapping duties and takes
care of the carton for good. There was
over half a million naira already inside
Then she came in. I had to hide the
excitement in my face before I betray our
little plan. She came in with her trolley
as usual and headed straight to the
bathroom. The lady and I were still on
top of the bed; she surfing her phone
while I waited.
Moments later, Eve moved out from the
bathroom with the trolley. She did some
little work in the room, dropped fresh
bedsheets and left.
My half a million naira finally moved to
Or so I thought!
To be continued
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