Diary Of An Addict



“Mum??? Why are you here?” He turned looking round the room to see if it was really her talking to him earlier or just his head playing a fast one on him. She just kept sobbing by the door and wouldn’t say a word, how deeply caught up with the substance he must have been that he never noticed she was there and had watched him being eaten up by his addiction the wh0le time.. She looked at him, he’d gone worse than the last time she saw him months
ago, his neatly cut hair and well shaved beards was a mess now, looking dirty and rough like it hadn’t had good treat in decades. His eyes were not their usual white colour any more ,the bulging blodshot eyes sunk deep into his eye socket, his dark skin that used to glow neat and soft now looked dry, they’d been starved of moisture for too long, his face pale, the chubby in his cheeks were lost now, they’d sunk deep in,side too just like the eyes leaving the check bones to stick out and the l-ips turned dark with cracks from the crimson that it earlier was. He was thin, proof he’d not been feeding on some good food since he left, just the drugs and liquor or the ciggarates he couldn’t do without maybe. His Jean was torn on almost every where, a trend they liked to call “crazy”, he still wore the same cloth he’d taken from home when he first disappeared, what first seemed like a dream.
“Come home and I promise I’ll help you through this, you’ll get better without all of this, pleaaase……” She continued sobbing. He stared at her silently for a few minutes like her words concealed pretty elements of wisdom he could heed to at first, then
“Listen mum, am doing better, infact absolutely great here! , this is my life..its fun I don’t need you or anybody sticking out petty rules for me, telling me what to and what not to do or laying boundaries for me, am fine…c’mon! am no kid!”
” You can’t go on living like this Steve …. ” She said tugging on his leg with tears steaming down her cold cheeks, he pushed her away from him.She still wanted him home even though the last time he pretended to have come home he’d stolen from her, she wanted him home even though he was always scre-ming, shutting her out like she was a thorn on his flesh and her words were as poisonous as cyanide to his life.
“No…no! Am not going back there…Just let me be, I can always get off my pains and worries in a single flick here so i dont want you interfering in my life okay? I’ve had enough of your junk, just leave! And get out of my life too, you make me sick!!!” He yelled. It was no new thing for her son to yell at her since he became like this. He was 19 now, an adult, he could now look her in the eyes as equal regardless she was his mum and now he’d only look back at what he once were, an immature child still learning about life or so he’d think…..
“Just this once Steve, come with me…” She was still tugging on his leg when he made to leave “okay, this is it…..let me go! Just let me go!!” He pulled away forcefully from her hold and walked out the door as she watched in tears.

to be continued

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