ECHOES OF LONELINESS
Part 2 – Rejection
Ayanda gave me money like she said she would. I don’t like taking money from people but I always accept help from others if I really need it. After all, Ayanda is soon leaving SA so I won’t have anyone to help me.
After cooking, I ate with my sister and washed the dishes. We both chilled in the living room and just watched TV. Warona then fell asleep. She’s like my daughter, she really makes me happy. I love her so much.
[Three Days Later]
It’s the day I am supposed to register at school. I have money for registration and this year’s fees all thanks to Ayanda but before I could leave the house, I got an email from the people of the Bursary. Once again, my application got declined so why should I go to school? Yes, I have money for this year but I was thinking of taking care of my sister. We will need to buy food every month, pay for DSTV, pay electricity bills, buy my sister’s diapers, buy her food and many more so if I go to school with the money I have how will my sister and I survive? Yes, I have R40 000 now but I feel like it’s not going to be enough. I got R20 000 from Ayanda, she said it’s for my registration. She then later gave me R10 000. So far I’ve got R30 000 from Ayanda. I also have R10 000 from the insurance company. They took care of the funeral arrangements and also handled the expenses so now I am left with R10 000 from them. Altogether I have R40 000. Will it be enough if I go to school? Of course not so I’ll have to just go to school and tell them that this year I won’t be going to school. Life has got different plans for me. I can’t live with R40 000, I have a sister to take care of.
I went to school with my sister and did what I had to do. I then went from place to place looking for a job. I dropped my CV at many places so I am hoping to get a job very soon. If I could get a job then life will go on.
I have been home since from an hour ago. Ayanda came to see me. Unfortunately Warona is sleeping. We sat outside. There was a very fresh air outside. It was really relaxing.
Ayanda: Can I ask you a question?
Me: Yes please
Ayanda: Have you cried?
Me: Why would I cry?
Ayanda: You lost your parents. There’s a lot going and I haven’t seen you cry
Me: I cried but I can’t cry forever
Ayanda: You are killing yourself. You should cry whenever you feel like crying
Ayanda: What about today? Did you cry? I mean you told me that you are not going back to school this year, you also told me that your Bursary application was declined again. I know that you wanted to finish school and be successful in life so now your dreams are shattered, have you cried?
Me: I didn’t cry
Ayanda: I am really worried about you
Me: Don’t be, I am fine
Ayanda: You are not fine, Wame
I kept quiet. Ayanda started crying. Why is she crying?
Me: Aya, why are you crying?
Ayanda: You really break my heart
Ayanda: Wame, I want to see you cry. You are obviously going through a lot so please cry
Me: I don’t want to cry
Ayanda: You have to
Me: What will crying do for me?
Ayanda: You’ll feel better after crying
Me: Will mama and papa be here?
Ayanda: Of course not but…
Me: Ayanda, I know that you are a great person but can you please keep quiet? You don’t know how I feel. You still have both your parents. You have everything so please stop it
Ayanda: Wame, I am going back to KZN tomorrow and next week I am going to UK so I am not okay at all
Tears threatened my eyes but I managed to control them. I mean will I cry forever? No, I am tired of crying.
Me: Go well. I wish you nothing but the best
Ayanda: I am going to miss you
I wiped off her tears.
Me: I am also going to miss you but please stop crying
Ayanda: I will call you everyday and I will give you money every month
Me: (Smiles) Ayanda, you are really a great person. God will bless you. May you always be happy
Ayanda: (Smiles) Thank you
Me: To me you are not just a friend from school, you are like my sister
Me: I really love you
Ayanda: I love you too
Me: So I guess this is goodbye
Ayanda: Yeah, it is
Me: I will really miss you. What time are you leaving tomorrow?
Ayanda: At 09:00 in the morning so I won’t be able to see you before I leave
Me: At least you are now here so I am grateful. Did the university let you go?
Ayanda: Yes that’s why I am leaving for KZN tomorrow
Me: That’s good. I am really happy for you
Ayanda: Thank you. Listen to me, please don’t ever give up in life. Always be there for your sister. You are like her mother now so don’t ever leave her
Me: (Smiles) I won’t
Me: Yeah, I promise
Ayanda: I’ll go kiss Warona then I’ll leave. I need to pack my bags
Me: Okay dear
She went inside. She then came back after approximately five minutes. She hugged me and left. I am really going to miss her.
I went inside the house and joined Warona in bed. I kissed her forehead and just smiled. I then started speaking; “Warona, you are now my everything. Mama and papa are gone so I will always take care of you no matter what. I’d take a bullet for you. I’d rob a bank for you. I’d kill for you. I truly love you and I won’t let our parents down. I am so lonely. Please grow up so that I can have someone to talk to. I am so alone. Just grow up, baby. I love you. Okay, I’ll now go to the kitchen and prepare food for you. I know that you’ll be very hungry when you wake up. I love you.”
[The Next Day]
I am going to KZN today and I am really going to miss Wame and her little sister, Warona. Wame is a good friend, she’s a good person, she’s a good daughter, she’s a good student and she’s a good sister. May God always bless her and protect her from harm. I will call her everyday and even give her money every month. I don’t mind helping good people, I really don’t.
[Later That Day]
Yesterday I took my CV to many companies so I was shocked when I got a call from this other company today. They said that I should come for an Interview. Ayanda is already gone, I mean it’s now 13:00. I never knew that there are Interviews that takes place at 13:00 or 14:00, pardon my ignorance and stupidity. Well my interview is at 14:00. I don’t know what to do with Warona. I can’t take her with me. I love my sister too much, I can’t leave her with the neighbors because I don’t trust them. What do I do?
Part 3 – The Interview
I decided to leave Warona at a day care. Obviously I had to pay but I didn’t mind. I arrived at this other company. The name of the company is JS Industry. It was big and beautiful. I was really looking beautiful but I was also nervous. I went to reception.
Me: Afternoon, I am here for the interview. My name is Wame Daniels
She had a name tag on. Her name is Alicia and she’s really beautiful. She smiled at me and spoke softly.
Alicia: Afternoon to you too. You may go in. Floor number 8 and the office is number 5
Alicia: Yes darling. By the way, you are really beautiful
Me: (Smiles) Thank you. I’ll go now
Alicia: Good luck
Me: Thank you
I don’t know why but I just don’t trust this receptionist. There’s just something about her that I don’t understand. Need I say more? I DON’T LIKE HER!!!
Well I used the elevator to go to floor number 8. It was really quiet over there. I checked the time and It was 13:56, I can’t afford to be late so I have to rush to office number 5. Once again, I don’t understand why the interview is not taking place in a boardroom, pardon my stupidity and insecurities. Ever since my parents died, I have trust issues.
I knocked on the door and a male voice answered to let me in. The office belongs to Joshua S. His name is outside the door, just below the number, “5”. He must be the owner and the boss, I mean the company’s name is “JS Industry”. I slowly opened the door, and I was already literally holding my heart. I closed the door and went inside. I greeted him.
JS: Afternoon. Please take a sit
Me: Thank you
I sat down.
JS: How are you?
Me: I am good thanks, and how are you, sir?
JS: I am good, thank you. You can call me JS or Joshua
Does this happen at interviews? I’ve never been to an interview so I am lost.
Me: Okay, Jo… uhm JS
JS: Are you nervous?
Me: Yes I am but I am ready to get done with the interview
JS: (Smiles) Brilliant. Tell me about yourself
Me: My name is Warona Daniels. I am 20 years old. I love reading, singing, dancing and designing clothes. I am from a township by th…
JS: Designing clothes?
Me: Yes sir
JS: Wow, that’s interesting. Are you good at designing?
Me: Yes, I am very good
JS: Impressive. My company needs someone like you. You are so full of life. I like you already
Me: (Smiles) Thank you, sir
Me: I am sorry, I meant to say Joshua
This feels awkward, believe me.
JS: So tell me about your family
I kept quiet. Tears were threatening my eyes.
JS: Are you okay?
Me: Yes sir. Well my…
JS: Wame, listen to me. The reason why I am asking you to call me by my name is because I want you to feel comfortable. I can see that you are nervous. I will start with the interview at 14:30 so right now I am just getting you ready
Oh wow, I didn’t know. Well he’s a very good man. He made me feel much better.
Me: (Smiles) Wow. Thank you, JS
JS: Now we are talking. So please tell me about your family
Me: I only have a little sister. Her name is Warona and she’s 2 years old
JS: What happened to your parents?
Me: They are no more
JS: Oh I am sorry to hear that
Me: Thank you
JS: So where is your little sister right now?
Me: Day care
JS: I see. So you love dancing and singing?
Me: Yes, I do
JS: That’s amazing. You are really a talented young girl
Me: Thank you, JS
JS: (Smiles) You are welcome. Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: No, I don’t
JS: But why?
Me: Men are a waste of time
JS: (Laughs) Wow. I’ve never met a girl like you. You are really interesting
Me: Am I?
Me: (Giggles) Well, thanks
JS: So if you don’t have a boyfriend, don’t you get lonely?
Me: I am always lonely but not because I don’t have a boyfriend. I am always lonely because I don’t have my parents with me anymore
JS: You will make it in life, don’t worry
Me: Thank you
JS: So you obviously need this job so that you can take care of your sister, right?
JS: The job is yours then
Me: Just like that?
Me: But you haven’t started with the interview
JS: By asking you the questions I asked you, I can tell that you are very sensible so we don’t have to waste time with the interview. The job is yours. You’ll be my PA and your salary is going to be R30 000
Me: Per month?
JS: Yes, per month. And if you make me very happy I’ll increase your salary to R40 000
Me: JS, maybe we are not talking about the same PA. I am here thinking about a personal assistant
JS: We are on the same page. You are going to be my Personal Assistant and your salary is going to be R30 000. Make me the happiest man and you’ll get R40 000 per month
Isn’t this too good to be true? I mean JS is talking about a lot of money. How can a PA get such money?
JS: Are you still thinking about it?
Me: It’s a lot of money
JS: Joshua S does not mind spending money if it’s for the good course
JS: Yes, really
Me: (Smiles) Thank you so much, JS. I am really grateful to you. God will bless you. You will…
JS: Please don’t ever mention God when talking to me
Oh my goodness, is he serious?
Me: But why?
JS: I don’t believe in God
Me: Oh, I see. Well I am sorry
JS: (Smiles) It’s okay. Tell me, are you a virgin or not?
What did he just ask me? He’s my boss so why is he asking me about my virginity?
I just kept quiet and looked away.
JS: (Laughs) Hey, feel free to talk to me about anything
Me: But JS, that’s a personal question
JS: I know but I am just interested
Me: Well I am a virgin
JS: You mean you’ve never slept with anyone?
Me: Yes, I’ve never slept with anyone
JS: (Smiles) So you don’t know anything about s£x?
Me: I know a lot about s£x but I am still a virgin
JS: When are you planning to break your virginity?
Me: I don’t know but not anytime soon
He got up and stood behind me. He started massaging me. I got up and pushed his hands away.
Me: What are you doing?
JS: You have the job so we might as well get down to business
Me: I don’t understand
JS: I want you so bad, I even have a boner
Me: Keep your job, I don’t want it anymore
I walked to the door. I tried opening it but It was locked. When did this happen? When I came in I didn’t lock the door so who locked it?
Tears streamed down my face. JS is not good at all. He planned all of this.
JS: (Laughs) Come on, Wame. Don’t be a baby. Just think about your sister
Me: You are very evil. I told you about my family because I thought that you can be trusted but I guess I was wrong. Leave my sister out of this
JS: I always get what I want, believe me
He came closer to me and grabbed my hands. He’s a man so he’s very tough. I tried to fight him but it wasn’t easy at all. God, I’ve never been scared like today.
I started screaming but no one came to the rescue. JS started licking my neck like a psycho that he is.
Me: LEAVE ME ALONE, LEAVE ME
JS: Screaming won’t help. No one is around except for Alicia and I. The whole building is mine and the company is also mine so give up already
I bit him. He slapped me and I hit the wall and fell down. I told myself that I won’t just give up. My head was hurting but I still managed to get up from the floor and run to the window side. I broke a vase that was next to the window and took a sharp piece from it.
Me: IF YOU DON’T STAY AWAY FROM ME, I AM GOING TO STAB YOU
JS: (Laughs) Do you want to go to jail?
Me: I DON’T CARE
JS: You care, believe me
Me: I DON’T
JS: Don’t you care about your sister?
Me: No, I don’t
JS: (Laughs) You are lying
Me: AND YOU ARE A MONSTER. YOU WILL BURN IN HELL
JS: I am not scared of anything
Me: You should fear God
JS: I don’t believe in God
Me: And I know why you don’t believe in God
JS: And what’s the reason?
Me: God does not believe in you. He gave up on you a long time ago because you are not worth it. You are a sick pervert and a monster
JS: I don’t care
Me: Do you always call females to this place in the name of an interview and sleep with them?
Me: With me you will not succeed
Me: Yes, really. I’ll even tell the cops about everything. You will go down
JS: The cops will not believe you. The cops will always believe me. I have the money, do you?
I don’t know what got into me. I went closer to him and slapped him. He got angry and tore my dress and this time he managed to get me to the floor. The sharp piece of vase I had also fell and he kicked it away from me.
He got on top of me and continued tearing up my dress. When the door opened, I kicked him down there and quickly got up. I took my bag and ran out of his office, leaving my shoes behind.
Just before I got to the elevator, I went back to see the person who opened the door. It’s a male.
I stood at the door and heard him shouting at Joshua. Joshua kept on calling him “brother” so he must be Joshua’s brother. He was even saying that he got the office key from Alicia. So It means that Alicia planned everything with JS. She will know me. I will go township on her.
I walked to the elevator. In the elevator, I wiped off my tears. My make up was messed up. I was looking like a Zombie.
When I got to the reception, I started beating up Alicia, then took her shoes. I wore them. They happened to be the perfect size.
Where was everyone else? Or did they knock off early? Or is it a public holiday today? What just happened?
I went to the nearest boutique and bought another dress. I then wore it and asked for the bathroom. I washed my face and made myself pretty again. I then left.
I am never going to interviews again. I don’t trust anyone. Today I almost lost my virginity because of a stupid interview. Why can’t I just accept that I will never make it in life?
I arrived at a day care. I didn’t say much. I just thanked everyone and left with my sister.
When I got home I just cried. I tried so much to stop myself from crying but I couldn’t. Warona even started crying with me.
To be continued…