EPIC OF A YAHOO BOY – EPIC 2
© IRETI ADEDIPE
No women, less pleasure, No dope, Lesser pleasure. Spend the day like you are dying tomorrow and live it as you’re chanced. Our Epic ain’t s***, nothing a woman cannot do when the cash rolls in dollars, we gain respect and stares like we are government officials, like we are celebrities and we are treated like gods.
Nothing more could we expect in paradise than what we’ve seen in our dope world, we’ve never seen Lucifer himself, he could have been bought with our money, together with his dope disciples. If we aren’t making money, weytin be our gain?
What can money not buy? Nothing !!
Even angels now receive money to buy necklace for river Queens, Lucifer receives money to pay his agent salaries, we bring money into the economy, society embrace us with the size of our bank account. We made our country a good position in global Internet crimes, sure the countries that are prime victims can’t fully count their losses even if they want to.
We weren’t the good boys in college, we failed exams and didn’t graduate from school, our professors called us exceptions, doubted our success in life, called us dirt, referred to us as bad example, we receive lashes right in front of our college mates, called us indian hemp smokers and drunk idiots. But now we are kings of States with a lot cash to throw around, we mentor our good ally whom the professors praised and made good examples, their several missed calls displayed on our expensive device, their calls coming through reluctantly while we watch it ring and follow the rhythms of the music as we hold the pad with the roll-up music that could destroy hear drum for starters.
We create our presence online and lets followers compete among themselves, every boys wants to be like us no matter the age, slay mama’s fight themselves to get our attention in clubs and hotels, the red carpet treatment given to us comes extra than ordinary, we ride the best cars a president fears to ride, we open business that will employ the educated.
Youth doesn’t want to work, they just want to get rich and Yahoo scam is the way, who cares about what goes around comes around or whatever? If we aren’t making money, weytin be our gain? “Nothing is our gain bro” Louis shouted, sniffing his dope.
“I still remember professor Okohn, he’s a piece of s*** the last time I saw him, he prostrated flats on the goddamn cheque I gave him even when I didn’t ask him to”
“Its funny his motivational speaking hadn’t make him the richest man in his hometown, talk less of his state or county. I thought his wise quote should have make money for him”
“We were the dullard in school afterall, yet we have the best certificate none of them has”
“Yea Louis, that’s exactly how the world rolls at times, work hard like they advice and pass in flying colours, I surely know the A’s they piled up will bring them money” Fred added while they burst into laughter. “But menh, this country is bad and too unfit, I wonder how people keep forcing themselves to schools with the intention of investing a business”
“Yea, what’s the point of having a result their country doesn’t want to recognize talkless of foreign countries?”
“bro let’s forget those bulls***s”
“Yea” Louis added while they turned back to their laptops. Money catchers has become dreams of every girl, wants to be puts for shopping, after exotic meals, top class hotels, foreign expensive clothes, expensive phones and presents themselves on social accounts.
“Yes we give them pleasures Lucifer himself couldn’t” Charles stopped and interrupted. “Who exactly is Lucifer himself?”
“Thomas John Ellis”
“What !!” Starex exclaimed.
“Haven’t you watch it?”
“Watch what?” they all chorused, waiting for Louis to respond.
“LUCIFER, kind of love the movie, you guys are really missing out I tell you”
“Yea, I bet Lucifer couldn’t stop himself from admiring our slay Queens, he adherently left hell out of boredom to be with them and also to roll up some cash for fun” Charles said while they all burst into laughter.
“don’t you know our slay mama’s are real slays? See the mighty b-obs they got”
“Big lie bro, they are all piece of push-ups” Louis argued.
“I concur but Lucifer couldn’t take it, I guess his **** rose whenever he see them roll em bum” Starex interrupted, closing his laptop.
“What do you mean? You mean the real Lucifer himself?” Fred asked, contributing into the conversation. “I bet he did, you can tell our slay mama can’t be underestimated, if we aren’t making money, weytin be our gain?” they all chorus this time and burst into another laughter.
“Guys, I’ll be going to Los Angeles tomorrow morning for something important” Starex smiled and reopen the laptop he closed after the laughter reduced “Los weytin?” Louis asked.
“Have you forgotten our oath tomorrow?” Charles asked.
“Yea I know but this important to”
“Weytin be very important? Are you the president of Nigeria to key yourself with very important?” Fred asked too.
Starex stared at them, unable to say anything or answer any of the questions, he definitely knew their oath tomorrow was more important than the British woman he’s going after. “Where are the offerings then if our oath is tomorrow?” he asked, looking at them.
“There are thousands of them out there, we just fish” Charles answered, knowing where Starex was taking the conversation.
“How do we identify used offerings out of those thousands?” he countered making a smirk. “We give eight offerings every week menh, you surely know they can’t be used anymore”
“hmm but want you to know we still get the situation handled”.
“Yeah I can see you surely do”
“Guys why don’t we fish young chicks this time? They are much more better and agile”
“hmm that sound like a good idea, sound tempting, especially church chicks” Louis said and burst into laughter. “Do you know what you’re saying? We are rather saying something important here” Charles shouted.
“Hey bro, common chill, most of whom you see out there are used, where else do you expect to see unused offerings. “There are various offering out there on campus, thousands of them, Ya tell me they’re all used?”
“Mr Charles, can you tell us one institution we’ve never visited? Can you tell us one club we’ve not caught those fishes?”
“Guys I suggest we go for secondary or college school chicks this time, believe me or not, under-age school girls are better off fun, lets pounder and cajole them with money” Fred pointed out while they nodded.
“But how do we expect to do that?”
“Don’t piss me off mehn, how have we been doing previous ones?” Charles voiced out angrily. “Guys, you don’t need to argue this among you or lets it cause any disagreement, I made some steps towards the oath already, there are some college girls I promised fun, I suggest this will be easier than we thought, let me just make a call, no shouting and make no noise” Fred said and glance at their faces before taking out his phone to make a call while they watch.
“Hello uncle” a feminine voice came through immediately the call was answered. “Hi Gloria, how are you doing?”
“I’m fine uncle, infact I’ve been expecting your call”
“Oh is it? Hope I’m not quite late?”
“Never mind uncle, I’m glad you called”.
“Common Glory, stop calling me uncle, I told you I’m called Fred, call me by that, that’s my name”
“oops, sorry about that, I don’t just feel comfortable calling you by name, you’re much more older than I am, even older than my three sisters, let me just call you uncle Fred then please” she begged.
“its okay then, don’t worry, I’ll manage that but I called to tell you I’ll be taking you out along with your friends tonight to have some fun”
“wow wow wow!! don’t tell me that’s a joke like you did the other day, you mean it or it’s just another joke of yours?”
“I’m serious this time and I’m sorry about last time, I told you something came up and I had to attend to it straight away, I’m sorry”
“You don’t have to be sorry uncle, I’ve heard you and seriously I’m glad this is really happening, I can’t honestly wait to see you. Where are we going exactly?” she asked with curiosity
“Don’t worry, you just come along with your friends, any of them who wish to have fun and lets spill some cash”
“Wow, that will be awesome, will you pick us up at the hostel?” She asked happily.
“what about the security man at the entrance?” she asked again. “Don’t worry, I’ll have him settled, he won’t disturb but Gloria”
“how many of your friends are coming along?”
“hmm I don’t know yet uncle Fred, there are some girls who still wander in their mothers advice of not having fun but to face their studies and be a good daughter at school, I could recall the last time you promised to take us out, some of them wanted to stay back with the fear of going to have fun with yahoo boys”
“oh is that it?”
“Common, who doesn’t want to have fun? There are bored girls here afterall who need fun, we need to buy our make-ups, change our clothes, change our old phones and all of that, I myself I’m seriously happy this is happening, don’t worry, I’ll call them over”
“Oh yeah, we catch you up tonight then, tell them to get set”
“yeah, I can’t wait” she exclaimed happily”
To be continued
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