Falling helplessly prologue

🔥 FALLING
HELPLESSLY 👠

( For his brother’s friend …. 😇 )
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Written by:- Williams Kendall____✍🏽
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🏈 PROLOGUE 🏈

Two years ago……

“Charlotte dear! The boys are in the backyard why don’t you go check on them?” Mrs. Johnson called over to me from her place next to my mother. Her voice snapped me out of the hazy thoughts I had been lost in. Go in the backyard? Yeah, no thanks. That would mean facing the person I actively ignored and avoided at all costs.

“Oh no thank you! I’m fine here with Annie.” I replied as I settled further into my place on the living room carpet. Am I above using a child to avoid humiliation? Well, I guess not. I flopped Annie’s barbies around in an attempt to actually entertain the toddler. But her oversized-eyes narrowed at me like she knew my heart wasn’t in it.. sorry girl.

My mind drifted towards the Johnson’s back door. I knew my brother Oliver was back there tossing the football around with his best friend Archer. Warmth spread through my chest by instinct as I imagined the two boys. They had been attached at the h¡p for as long as I could remember. They were polar opposites and yet it would be impossible for anyone watching them to not see the close camaraderie.

Oliver was loud and energetic. He regularly placed himself at the center of everyone’s attention and thrived in the s₱0tlight. His laughter was contagious and his lop-sided grin allowed him to get away with way too much.

In contrast, Archer was quiet and reserved. His powerful aura and domineering presence naturally garnered him a lot of attention. But unlike Oliver, he never seemed to care. In fact, he never really seemed to care about anything. Up until a few months ago, I was their—mostly tolerated—third wheel.

I loved my brother and bless his heart he had always been so good to me. I was a quiet kid which made it hærd to make many friends, so I tended to attach myself to whatever Oliver and Archer were doing. Oliver never seemed to mind too much, but Archer… well Archer minded. Not that I could blame him.

See the problem was, for as long as I could remember I had loved Archer Johnson. I loved his dark, expressive eyes. I loved the grumpy way he held his l-ips tightly. I loved the rare times where his shields dropped and he allowed himself to have fun. I loved him. I wish I could say that I kept my cool and didn’t allow this all-consuming love to bleed into my consciousness at all times. But nope. That did not happen.

I did what any five-year-old with a crush would do. I stared dreamily at my Prince Charming pretty much 24/7. I imagined all the wonderful things that could happen if he just realized that he loved me too. The only issue was that he unequivocally did not love me back. The bigger issue? I didn’t stop when I was five. Oh no, your girl is an over-achiever. I kept up with this horribly cringey behaviour right up until a few months ago.

🙄 Two months ago……

“God, can you believe our little baby Lotty is 16 today? And she for sure is about to have her first make-out sesh tonight?” Kayla exclaimed while she hung twinkle lights on the wall. I laughed as she wiped an invisible tear away from her pale cheek.

“Heck yeah! Our girl is gonna get some!” Brit chimed in as she peaked up from the stereo.

“Okay, first of all, I am still about 79% sure no one is going to show up. And second of all, I’m not making out with anyone! There is no one coming that I’d want anyway.” The two girls shared a look that I understood immediately… It very clearly said, “This b-word is delusional.” And I suppose I was.

Of course, there is someone I want to k-ss… but I wasn’t even sure he was showing up. There was no way in heck that I could invite him directly. Mostly because every time I looked into Archer’s eyes I lost my train of thought and started mumbling incoherently. So instead, I invited Oliver and made him pinky swear that he’d try to bring Archer.

This party was the night that I was determined to finally show Archer that I was grown up. He had always treated me like a little kid, and honestly never gave me much attention in general. But I was 16 now, and I needed him to notice.

A daydream gripped my mind and pulled me into the soft, fanciful world I had created in which Archer loved me too. Fate had interfered in our game of spin the bottle and landed on Archer and I. He smirked as he pulled me into the closet. My heart was pounding so hærd in my chest it could explode at any minute—and I’d die happy.

We stared into each other’s eyes as he stepped forward and placed his hand on my wa-ist. His large hand sent tingles down my spine as it slowly stroked my h¡p. I wanted to run my hands through his soft brown waves so badly. I would definitely need to stand on my tippy toes to reach since he was over a foot taller than me. Wait, would he lift me up? Sweet baby Jesus… I hope he lifts me up.

“Look Brit! She has that gooey glint in her eye, she is totally making moves tonight.” Kayla’s laugh pulled me from my fantasy.

A sigh escaped my l-ips as I rushed to finish getting ready. People would be arriving soon and I needed this party to go well. So far in high school, I had basically gone unnoticed. If people did talk about me it was probably like, “oh there goes that quiet girl from my algebra class” or, “Hey why does that girl always hang around Ollie and Arch?”

I didn’t want my only legacy in high school to be a nameless girl that was only known for her associations with other people. So I had convinced my parents to let me have this party and I was determined for it to be the catalyst in the next phase of my life.

I didn’t want my only legacy in high school to be a nameless girl that was only known for her associations with other people. So I had convinced my parents to let me have this party and I was determined for it to be the catalyst in the next phase of my life.

Yeah well, famous last words…

The garage door slammed just as I had put out the final bowl of ch¡ps. I assumed it was the first wave of guests so I took off running to greet them but I halted when I heard the angry voice of Archer coming from the doorway.

“Seriously Ollie? What am I doing here?”

“C’mon Bro, she’s my baby sister! We just have to make an appearance then we can head out to Molly’s.” I frowned as I heard my brother’s plan. They weren’t planning on staying? Who was Molly?

If I thought my brother’s words were upsetting I really should have braced myself for Archer’s response. “Yeah whatever man. Mollys been giving me those f-ck-me-eyes all week, but we both know how she gets when she’s sloshed… She’ll grab the first guy available. I swear to God if coming to this lame ass party means my d-ck doesn’t get w-t I am never going to talk to you or your creepy sister again.”

Thank God they turned and ran up the stairs to our house’s main level. Had they come around the corner they would have found me; dropped to my knees, eyes blurred with tears, and my heart in about 100 pieces on the floor. I sat there for what felt like hours as I obsessed over Archer’s words… your creepy little sister. I was creepy?

Memories of all the intEr×¢tions I had with Archer over the years flashed in my mind. All of the longing stares and goofy, love-sick smiles I had sent his way.

How many times had I snapped out of a daydream only to find Archer staring back at me with a scrunched up face? If I had been paying more attention I probably would have noticed that his eyes were filled with discomfort and irritability. But no… I was too distracted, fawning over the sprinkle of freckles that laid across his nose.

My stomach squeezed with an intense feeling of embarrassment. My thoughts spiralled as I realized how horrifying this truly was. Brit and Kayla both knew I loved Archer without me ever saying anything. Did that mean everyone else knew? Had people been watching me for years and pitying how pathetic I was?

Shame washed over me as I wracked my brain for how I could save myself from any more humiliation. I needed to let go of this silly schoolgirl crush. I had to stop the daydreams and fantasies, and endless doodles of “Mrs. Charlotte Johnson”. From that night on I knew I would do everything in my power to make sure everyone knew that I could care less about Archer Johnson. I created rules in my head that over time became a mantra I repeated in moments of weakness.

1) DO NOT look directly at Archer.
2) DO NOT speak directly to Archer.
3) DO NOT think about Archer.
4) DO NOT stay in the same room as Archer for too long.

If I followed these rules, at least tried to follow these rules… maybe I could guarantee that I would never feel this gut-wrenching, heart-squeezing embarrassment ever again.
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TBC

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