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Heartaches and Tears – Episode 18



A story by Kennedy C Katongo


“What are you doing to yourself? You know alcohol doesn’t solve a problem.” she said.

“I know that. But at least it takes the pain away.” She shushed me up before I could even express myself. The pain in being cut short when you need to explain yourself.

I knew Mable didn’t want to see me. The fact that Candle was still around was proof of that. I went to the kids room to take a shower. After that I went to the kitchen to make breakfast for the second time – alcohol wasn’t my friend, the after effect of it was me being hungry.

“Breakfast again?” Candle said as she walked in.

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“Don’t you think you should talk to her? Avoiding her won’t solve anything you know.” She suggested.

“Don’t you think I’ve thought of that? But who are we kidding… We both know how crazy Mable can be when she’s upset. Am lucky the kids were around otherwise I would be in the hospital by now. So nope. Am not going in there.” I said as I shook my head.

“But what were you thinking Nathan? You had a wife that loved you and kids that adore you.” She said thoughtfully as she spoke.

“Are you going to stand there and make me feel bad about what I did? Well that won’t happen. Do you know how it feels to be sided by your own wife because she now makes more money than you? Reaching a point were you can’t tell her anything because according to her, she’s fulfilled.” I shook my head.

“You the man of the house! It’s up to you to take charge!” Candle said strongly. The nerve she had.

“So what are you trying to say? I out this on myself? Come on. Don’t be funny. You’ve known her for 10 years. You know how stubborn she can be. I haven’t denied my mistakes. However, did I do it intentionally? Nope. I didn’t.” I got my mug of coffee and walked out the house. Candle followed me.

“I don’t get you Nathan. You know your wife so well – yet, you still went on to tell her you slept with that Amanda. What were you thinking?”

“She wanted the truth. Unless you expected me to lie to her. I will talk to her when she calms down. Don’t worry.” I told her.

@@ @@ MWAKA @@ @@

I picked up my phone, called Amanda. Her phone rang and rang but there was no response. I ended up texting her. Texts weren’t my thing. I preferred hearing someone’s voice to pretentious thoughts in black stroked fonts.

After a good 30 minutes she called me back explaining why she couldn’t answer.

“You know that’s just a dumb reason right?” I told her.

“I don’t think it’s dumb. I hate talking on the phone when am on a bus. Besides, the young man who sat beside me was busy looking at my phone.” Amanda told me.

“I thought you working in the afternoon. Where have you gone?” I asked her.

“I’ve gone to see KK. He called and asked if I could meet him for lunch before I reported for work.” She giggled.

“Oh! Are toy two serious dating or you just playing?”

“I don’t know if we playing. But it feels nice being around him. He’s got some charm that gives me the shivers.” She laughed.

“You crazy. You better take care of yourself. You know how our Zambian celebrities are, to much being f**k boys and just using up ladies.” I told her.

“You don’t have to tell me twice. You said you have something to tell me, what’s that?” Amanda asked me.

I had even forgotten that I had sent her a text, however, telling her about Nathan didn’t seem like the best thing. After all, she seemed to have found love in a hopeless place.

“It’s nothing. I think it can wait.” I responded.

“Are you sure?” She asked, this was her smelling something fishy.

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“You better tell me if you have heard something dirty about KK before I fall for this guy.”

I couldn’t help it but laugh, in my small head, I thought she might have been on me. But nope, the girl missed it. Furthermore, KK had taken up space in her head.

“Hey, will talk to you later. I have some customers.” I said as I hang up.

I walked up to the paediatric section of the Pharmacy to a young couple that had brought their daughter.





“Am done. I can’t take his behaviour anymore.” Amanda walked in the room. She seemed pissed from the look of things. She kept pacing around.

“What has he done this time around?” I asked her.

“Can you believe he said he can’t make it today because he has a meeting with some clients at Mulungushi again!” She said sharply.

Amanda and KK decided to date after a month of being friends. However, for some reason, the walls of Jericho began to fall apart as soon as that decision was made. KK suddenly became more busy and secretive, that’s according to Amanda.

Even in those five months that had gone by, I still never knew him very well. He usually insisted in Amanda visiting than him coming over to our place.

I later on got to understand that – that was just one of his egotistic manners. And not only that, Amanda would usually complain about things that didn’t just make sense.

The previous day, they had argued because she refused to kiss him in the presence of some of his friends. That became a big deal.

Even though Amanda wouldn’t admit that things weren’t going as she expected they would go, regret was written all over her face.

She looked stressed, she was never like this when Nathan was around. On that hand, Nathan had gone silent. I had never heard from him since the last time I happened to call and he was drunk.

His name had become a cursed word, it was one we never spoke about. If I was to compare him to KK, Mr Saturday was a true gentleman. Maybe that’s way Amanda never even regretted ever getting involved with him.

“Can you stop pacing around. That’s just so disturbing.” I told her.

“Am done. I respect the fact that he has his Ubuntu company to run. But I can’t be with a man that treats me like an option.” She said. She finally got to take a bed. (If this was about Nathan, she would be giggling and all shrinking violet)

“Why don’t you take a break? To be honest, you don’t look so good. You with someone who can’t even see you hurting.” I told her.

“The only conversation we have; is him asking me for s£x. At the end of that, we are busy fighting and arguing. Its like he only dated me because he thought he would sleep with me.” She sighed, the disappointed face kicked in, one could tell how much she really wanted her relationship with KK to work out.

“I don’t know if I’ve ever told toy this – but Nathan never asked me for s£x. Not even once. All the intimate times we spent together just happened naturally. Right now I feel, If I was to give myself to KK. He would surely walk away.” She said thoughtful.

This was her first time in a while… I couldn’t believe she just compared Nathan to KK. ‘Why are all the good men taken?’ I asked myself.

“Am really sorry. I just feel so disturbed. How was worm? Did that young guy come through today?” she asked me. The young guy, I blushed. Working at Link-Pharmacy had landed me in the hands of a young man (younger than me) who had convinced himself he loved me.

I had tried to shake him off, but that didn’t work. The fact that he was friends with my boss just made things worse. Infact, he was friends with almost everyone.

“He came. Brought me some yogurt.” I said warmly.

“Give the kid a break.” Amanda laughed. It was good seeing her face lighten up.

“What! You need to be ashamed. There is no way I can date someone younger than me. Am not that desperate – duh!” I giggled as I spoke. I couldn’t believe we were even talking about it.

“Age is just a number.” She commented in a passive whisper.

“Girl you need Jesus.”

I had now worked for Link-Pharmacy for about 6 months. Yes, you guessed right – I aced those internship exams. There was just a month left and it was going to be graduation.

I had visited home a few times, with the money I was getting, Mum advised me to buy land to which I did.

If only dad was alive to see what his daughter had become.

To be continued…

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