Hidden Dream – Episode 11
© Tisa Phiri
I saw how he was nervous looking at me. I couldn’t make any thing from his action thinking maybe something happened.
When he told me he wanted to talk about his father I knew he wasn’t saying the truth.
I was laughing at his statement when he unexpectedly came closer holding my shoulders.
I was about to ask him what was happening, when I felt his wet lips on mine, k-ssing me as he held on to my shoulders.
For a moment, I was lost of action. I stayed put as he went on k-ssing my lips, his hands gently sliding to the back.
Coming back to my senses I pushed him back.” Jay!” I scre-med ” stop!”
” I cant” , he whispered withdrawing and looking straight into my eyes.
” I can’t stop thinking about you, I have tried to ignore the feelings I have for you and I swear if I didn’t do anything about it I was going to go crazy ” he said his eyes tearly.
I knew trying to scold or shout at him would make him feel worst of himself. He looked vulnerable.
” Jay, come on sit with me ” I calmly told him holding his hand.
I indicated for him to sit down and he kept looking at me. His pure passion so vivid I felt my stomac melt.
” am sorry” he whispered now realising what he had done.
I smiled slightly. ” are you?” I asked him and he turned to look at my face.
” no, actually am not, I have never really k-ssed someone like that before and I can’t deny I felt so good. I know I should have not but I couldn’t help it. The thing is, deep down my heart am happy am here with you. I don’t know what you are thinking about me but I think am falling in love with you.”
His last words got to me. I tried to open Mouth to say something but no words came out. I hated myself at that moment cause my body was beginning to betray me. If it was someone else I could not have allowed them even closer to me, worst still k-ss my lips . But oh God this guy was really giving me a hard time.
” you are just confused Jay, you look at me as the person that understands you and with what has happened with your father and staff you feel comfortable around me. You are not in love with me but it’s just a moment. it will soon pass and you will surely agree with me.” I tried to explain swallowing some of my words as i struggled to speak.
” I get it, am just a stupid boy with a fantasy, I can’t even tell my feelings apart right? ” he asked looking hurt.
” no” I tried to speak but he stood up quickly.
” yes that’s it. You were clear enough. But you are so wrong,” he paused.
” I don’t want to even call you madam because that makes me feel awkward” he went on.
” you can’t look at me in any way different am just a dull child with lost ambitions. ”
” stop that Jay you know that’s not true. You are getting upset and that is not a good sign. You know I care about you but we can’t be more than teacher and pupil. Am older than you for crying out loud. What do you want me to tell you? ”
” am not going to be the first person to fall in love with an older woman. Besides it’s not all that big a difference. ” he shrugged.
” you are crazy. Please you have to think over this and understand this is impossible. What are people going to say? ”
I saw him look away evidently hurt. He held my hands and looked down my eyes.
” I will prove you wrong Angela, I will come back to you one day and you will then know that am not just a small boy and that it’s not my hormones that are making me confused. I love you and one day you will understand…” He whispered and bent down to k-ss my forehead before walking out.
My strength was gone. I sighed as I sat back on the bed my mind wild with thoughts. ” oh God help me, what is going on? ” I asked myself holding my face as I pushed back the tears that threatened to spill over .
The look that I saw in his eyes sent shivers in my body. He looked so calm and serious about his last sentence I feared the worst.
” what will happen now and how am I going to get through this? I frowned putting down my head.
If It was was someone else, a man order than me and not my student I would have been jumping with excitment. I could have known that I found the love of my life. But , No, that wasn’t the case. The reality was so complicated it made me want to cry.
Deep in my heart I wished Jay won’t stop dancing on account of what just happened. He was doing so well I didn’t want him going back to his sad old self.
My night was long as my mind kept on fighting different thoughts.
Early the following morning I woke up still feeling tired. I really couldnt sleep. I just kept on touching my lips and leaking the taste of her lips on them. Every time I closed my eyes I could see images of her beautiful face.
” she’s wrong” I told myself.
” I not confused and I damn well know what I want. I am not just a boy with hormones but I feel like a man in love.” I thought to myself.
from her reaction I knew she felt something for me and that for me, was good enough.
Instead of being discouraged I felt the urge to even do better and make sure I won her over. I was going to have her one way or another. I sat outside the lodge in the same spot as before and planned it all out. I was going to complete my secondary school and would go back for her.
Thoughts of her being taken by another man came to my mind but I was quick to push them away. ” I will make it in life and she will accept me” I comforted myself.
Evening came and the dancing went on well. I saw her walk to the bus before we went to the competition and she looked calm. No one could tell something happened between us as she called me and asked me to carry her file as she did before. I tried to look at her but she was clearly avoiding my eyes and I smiled in my heart. ” If she cannot look straight in your eyes it’s because she’s got feelings for you and is trying to hide the truth from you” I recalled my friend’ s words.
After the awards were given of which Tracy and I got the first position and another couple from our group 4th position. We were awarded sums of money for the school and what really made me proud was that the guest of honour presented a special award. She was a white woman from Paris.
” now for our special award this evening we have selected 2 of our dancers and are rewarding them with a scholarship to go and study dancing in Paris. These two will be provided with transport , accommodation and all the necessary expenditure paid for during the period of their stay there.”
” oh how lucky they are” , I spoke aloud. I was still talking when Tracy patted my hand.
” what?” I asked looking at her.
” it’s you Jay!” She shouted excited.
” what! ” I whispered not getting her point.
” Can we have Jared Zimba, from Luangwa secondary come to the front please!” I heard a man’s voice from the loud speakers. Then it downed, I was the guy who won the scholarship.
Still shocked i stood up and looked around as everyone kept searching through the crowd to see who I was. I looked up at the TV hanging in the wall and saw myself on the screen. I felt like everything had has stopped moving.
” come on Jay! Go get it! ” Came Ms Jere’s sweet voice bringing me back from my shock.
She held my hand and led me to the front and I tagged along like a child.
I received the award after once again greeting the guest of honour who congratulated me. Turning to the cheering noise as people cheared on top of their voices. My friends came to the stage running and scre-ming!.
I felt great. The happiness in my heart was beyond what I had anticipated . It had always been my dream to find my way to the outside world to learn more about dancing and now my dream was coming true earlier than I had ever dreamt.
That night we didn’t go straight to the lodge. Ms Jere offered us another night out and we had lots of funny.
I kept stealing glances at her but Tracy made it so difficult for me to have a close moment with her, but i was still happy being around her and everyone with me.
To be continued
⬅️ Previous Episode