His golden secret episode 17
HIS GOLDEN SECRETđđ
(Being Perfect)đź
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BY RUTHIE LEE đ¸đ¸
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EPISODE 17
Sometimes In life, our wishes gets the best of us, challenges are what makes life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful, death is not the most tragic loss in life, the most tragic loss is what dies in,side while youâre still alive, and lastly expectations are dangerous.. I know all this cause I actually feel them.
After that evening with Naomi, she left leaving me to feel bad for myself and I ended up falling asleep without eating Dinner.
âSamantha!!â I heard my name.
âSammie..â I heard it again and my eyes flutter open.
âmom!. What are you doing here?â I asked sitting on my bed.
âBeatrice told me you slept without eating dinner and I brought you some even though to lateâ my mom said quietly and I glance at my phone to check the time but it wasnât on, so I forgot about it, my mom smiled gently as me and handed the tray on her hand over to me.
âCâmon eat, youâve been getting really ski-nyâ she said with a worried tone and I rolled my eyes. Since I didnât want her to worry much, I started to eat, I didnât have an appetite but I had to force myself.
âSamantha, Iâm sorryâ my mom said.
âyou should beâ I muttered.
âIâm sorry, for pushing you and controlling you to be who youâre not supposed to be and I reaâ
âmom..â I cut her off âitâs okay donât remind meâ
âif thereâs one thing I know is thisâ.. âforgive others not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace, and I need peace.. forgiveness is not something we do for other people, we do it for ourselves to get well and move onâ I tell my mom and she sniffed and pulled me in a warm hug, âoh honey, Iâm so sorryâ she said.
âitâs okayâ I said.
After eating my mom took back the tray and I laid on my bed again, I looked at the time and it was ten thirty (10:30pm) I sighed and before I knew it I fell asleep again.
The next morning I woke up feeling a little energetic unlike yesterday and after my morning run, I had a splendid shower, put on my uniform, ate breakfast before having Evans drive me to school.
I got to school and made my journey to class, I got to class and sat on my seat, everyone was busy talking to each other since there was no teacher In the class, and I didnât want to talk to anyone but I didnât know when I got on my seat and walked up to Tracey who was talking to a girl beside her, seeing me she said something to the girl and she smiled and left.
âhey,â I smiled.. .âhiâ she said in a whisper and looked away.
âIâŚi. Iâm not here to say anything bad, Iâm just here to apologizeâ I tell her.
âapoloâ
âbefore you say anythingâ I cut her off.. âI just want you to know that I am sorry for everything Iâve said or done to you and I really wish..we could talk again cause I really miss youâ I rushed the last part and she giggled.
âditto,..â she said and stood up âI really feel the same way, itâs not my intention to be this way to you but I kind of have to cau-
My sudden hug stopped her from talking and I could feel her smiles from my shoulder âitâs okay, as long as you added ditto, you donât have to say anything elseâ I tell her and we both released from the hug ⌠âI didnât know youâre this niceâ Tracey laughed.
âdonât joke with it, it only comes once in a blue moonâ I laughed too. The English teacher walked in and everyone gro-ned while I walked back to my seat. After learning a lot that morning it was time for lunch break and honestly I wish I could keep learning cause this few days, Iâve been loosing my appetite. âheyâ someone growled behind me making me flinch and turn immediately.
âJames!!â I yelled and held my chest. âyou scared me!â I added.
âsorryâ he laughed
âsoâŚ? You going out for lunch break?â he asked.
âwhy not, I mean arenât we supposed to eat to live?â I said sarcastically and he laughed.
âwell then letâs go eat and live togetherâ he said and placed his hand in front of me and I gently placed mine on top of his with a smile and we both walked out.
We both ordered our food and went to a table at the center of the cafeteria, but I just couldnât eat, it was so noisy that my head start to spin it was like the noise was about me, it was like everyoneâs talking about me.
âare you okay?â James asked. But I shook my head negatively.
âI canât seem to find myself hungry in hereâ .
âokay, well theyâre other places you can quietly eat where no one will bother youâ James said.
âlike?..
âthe classroom, the gym, the auditorium and the school gardenâ James replied .
âthe school has a garden?â I asked.
âyeah at the back of the second buildingâ he replied.
âno wonder I always see a wide empty area at the schools map not knowing what it wasâ .
âstudents arenât there and Estherâs the watch lady, donât worry if she finds us there Iâll threaten her with her big sleepover and she wonât report usâ James said and I smiled and gave him a flirty eye roll.
We both left for the school garden and a small wow, escaped my l-ips and I smiled, it was magical, like that of fairytale stories, it was greenish, breezy and has this strong smell of dew and leaves and it made my non hungry mouth, hungry. There was a long bench at the middle of the low trimmed grasses and I walked up to it and sat down. James walked up to me and sat beside me and we both quietly start to eat, James finished his food in a jiffy and start to drink his box of milk, he bought like three boxes of milk.. âis it skimmed milk?â I asked.
ânope, the one that gives you a lot of fatâ he said and I nod and chew hĂŚrd on my burger.
âbut youâve been taking it and youâre not getting any fat, shouldnât you visit the doctorâ I said playfully and he playfully glared at me.
âthatâs not something I should worry about, Iâm not destined to get fat I just take them cause it helps me think, milks are like drugs to me, just as you are to me nowâ he said sulking a wh0le lot of milk in his mouth. and I almost cried at his rom-ntic statement, I couldnât help but get flushed at that so I pretended like I didnât hear a thing.
âhave you tried taking chocolate milk, cake or chocolate candy bars. I heard itâs good for adding to yourâ
âIâm not trying to get fat Sam, I love the way I amâ James cut me off.
âIâm sorry have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately?â I asked and rolled my eyes
âyep, I still look as charming as alwaysâ he beamed. But itâs true.
âshow off to any other girl, for a boy, youâre too ski-ny I mean take a look at Kaden for example heâs not ski-ny like you heâs fleshy and full of boyish meat unlike youâ I said and James scoffed, âif you want to date him just say it donât use ski-ny as an excuseâ .
I rolled my eyes at James for saying that and continued, âI mean under his shirt Iâm sure theyâre a lot of breathtaking packs that will make girls for to their kneesâ I said with seriousness to get James angry but he didnât seem affected by it.
âIâve got packs too six of themâ he said boastfully opening his second box of milk.
âsix packs??, are you sure theyâre packs or your ribs?â I asked and he sighed, âgosh that hurtsâ I laughed.
We both remained quiet and with a small smile still on my l-ips and as I shoved my straw in,side my juice box and start to sulk the pineapple juice in,side it, James breathed out loudly before saying.
âyou know I didnât like you at first, cause youâre always pestering and disturbing that it made me disliked an you, and with all Kaden was saying about you, but then I suddenly saw through you and saw this sweet lovely Sam who just wants a life like everyone else but was very different from everyone else and the way you confessed your feelings was shocking to me at first but If I think about it sometimes I just laugh cause it wasnât just funny it was sweet, I wasnât supposed to like you Sam, but I did cause youâre a real charmer, you got me and Iâve never liked someone my wh0le lifeâ James smile and I slowly turned to him.
What does he mean by he wasnât supposed to fall for me.
âJames you really are fâ
âSamantha..â he cut me off âI reallyâŚ. really like you even though itâs bizarre but I do, I like it that I do but I also hate it but I canât help it, our deities once fell in love and it doesnât matter who they fell in love with cause the feelingâs there but In this century it matters,â ..
I donât know why James is saying all this and somehow it made me scared, when the person youâre dating start to say things like this, it only means one thing, theyâre diagnosed with a horrible disease and they want to break up. So I asked.
âJames, are you alright?â
âwhat are you talking about Iâm perfectly fineâ he smiled,
âreally?â I said and my voice shook. He nods and I sighed,
âyou saying all this is making me scared and it somehow felt like youâre about to break up with meâ I said, but he just stared at the grasses not saying anything..
âJames..â I called for his attention and he turned to me. âcan we⌠Kss?â he asked slowly as he turned to me.
âwhy are you suddenly acting this way?â I asked, normally if he wanted to kss me he does it on his own free will but now heâs asking for my permission.
âbecause nothing lasts forever we better live in the momentâ he added leaning close to me but I stood up.
âif youâre going to continue like this Iâm leavingâ and was about to go but he pulled me back.
âIâm sorry.â he said and stood up too.
âso youâre coming over to my house this Saturday right?â he asked with a smile. âYeah, wait why again?â I asked.
âfor our project in historyâ he said and I nod, âyeah rightâ I nod and grabbed my tray.
âyouâre done eating, Iâm done too so letâs just go back to classâ I said and he nods and we both walked back to class,
I didnât really pay attention in class because of James words earlier, why was he saying all those things, he acted really weird and that was scary.
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** Fast forward **
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School was over and we all went to drama class, everyone acted their scenes perfectly even Victoria and the drama teacher gave her a small nod when she was done acting.
When it was the time for James and I to do the k-ssing scene, I noticed James strange behaviour like when am a princess I promised to k-ss him so he could be prince again and not a frog and when I k-ssed him lightly on his l-ips he wanted more.. But I withdrew quickly we earned a small applaud and the drama teacher told me the k-ssing didnât have to be real but he didnât mind it being real.
I said goodbye to James before getting into my limo.
I got home and took a shower and I couldnât just stop thinking about my James I was seriously worried that I didnât pay attention during dinner and I received a few worried questions from my mom.
That night I decided to watch TV and turning it on it gave a great highlight to our living room cause Iâve never turned the TV on, it was my first time, I turned on my phone hot-sâą0t and the TVâs Wi-Fi and streamed the internet for movies, I sâą0tted like three interesting ones and clicked on the first one. And watching movie from TV is better than watching it from a laptop, my mom met me watching TV but she just passed me by and it helped me took my mind off James a little.
But the memory of James came back when I was about to sleep⌠But thankfully I manged to fall asleep.
The next morning I was surprised I wasnât woken up by my alarm but Beatrice told me it was Saturday and I insanely laughed at myself for not knowing that. I ate breakfast and told my parents Iâm going over to a friendâs house for our history project.. âis it James?â my mom questioned when I told her
âyesâ I replied
âokay be home earlyâ she said.
âIâm also going to a sleepoverâ I tell her
âwhat? You and Naomi can have one hereâ she suggested.
âmom please!â I said and she sighed and gave in, âmake sure you invite Naomi tooâ she said and I rolled my eyes âsureâ I said before walking away.
Evans drove me to Jameâs residence and seeing me he smiled and open the door wÂĄder for me to walk in, I met six guys in his living room and youâll know theyâre all related to James cause they have the same face features but Jamesâs the prettiest.
âhiâ I wave at them.
âis this the Cinderella?â one of the guys asked and another one nod.
ânice to meet you Samanthaâ the guy who nodded winked at me and I smiled. ânice to meet you tâ
âignore them samâ James said as he dragged me upstairs.
James slammed the door to his room and I turned to him immediately.
âtheyâre yourâ
âbrothers.. Yeahâ he interrupted me and I smiled.
âhow do they know my nameâ I asked sitting on his bed.
âthe last time you came here three of my brothers met you and they wondered who you were cause you suddenly walked passed them without saying hi and then they started to call you Cinderellaâ. James explained and I giggled.
âokay well Iâve gotten everything ready, we have to get somethings done and get ready for Estherâs sleepoverâ James said and I nod and took off my jacket.
We both got really busy with our project, I got to wear an apron and rubber gloves cause I was dealing with paint and glue, James brother didnât allow us to concentrate cause they kept barging into his room and each of them either handing me hot chocolate or orange juice and I couldnât say no cause they held such beautiful smile when giving it to me.. James wasnât just handsome he was creative, I sat on his bed and watch him paint Jupiter very carefully. He noticed me watching him and he shyly smiled.
âdonât fall me too muchâ he said.
âwhy? Arenât you worth falling for?â I asked and his smile faded.
ânoâ he muttered.
âwhat.. You silly boy, like you donât know youâre the most handsome bâ
âcan I tell you something?â he asked.
âsure go onâ I gesture my head giving him a go.
âno not now, when Iâm done paintingâ he said and I nod âIâll be waitingâ.
James was done painting and we both washed our hands and set the five planets weâve created beside his window for the afternoon sun and breeze to dry them and weâll do the other ones later.
James seemed to be enjoying the hot chocolate his brothers brought for me and I giggled.
âand I thought you only love milk, looks like I was wrongâ.
âhot chocolate and hot afternoon go perfectly well you can feel your blood igniteâ he said and I rolled my eyes.
âso.. About the âthingâ you said you were going to tell meâ I reminded him and he sighed and dropped the mug of chocolate..
âgosh Iâm nervousâ he muttered and stood up. âSamantha keeping this from you is just going to make me commit suicide one day so you have to knowâ he sighed.
âknow what?â I asked.
âthat.. That Iâm not a guy,â James breathed out.
âHuh?â I moved my head forward.
âIâm a girlâ he added.
âIâm sorry but can you speak actual wordsâ I stated angrily.. âIâm not a guy Sam, Iâm a girl, youâve been dating a girlâ he said and I laughed bitterly.
âif this is a new method of breaking up with girls then it s-cksâ I huffed.
âIâm not trying to break up with you, well I am but I donât want you to get hurt but donât you see it?â he asked and moved his hair back and I almost cried of how beautiful he looked. And for the first time I saw a girl in him.
âdid Tracey poison your mind to break up with me did she give you this idea??!!!â I yelled and he gro-ned and walked to his door slammed it close and locked it. âfine, then Iâll prove it to youâ he said and I looked at him from head to toe. Why??!!
âIâve always been putting on chest binders.. He said as he unbutton his shirt and I just stood and watched him not wanting to believe my eyes and ears.. my body shook strangely, when my teary eyes laid on his.. Or her chest that was pressed with a grey colored chest binder.
âJa⌠Ja.. Ja.. I couldnât speak and I suddenly fell to the floor.. How could it be
âIâm sorry Samanthaâ he said kneeling in front of me,.. âno.. No this is a dream right?â I cried as my eyes met his.. âIâm sorryâ he gasp.
âbut why.. Why..â I cried.
Why did he have to pretend to be a boy and why did I fall for him and Iâve been dating girl, how could this be.. I cried even more when he hugged me but I pushed him away.
âyou made a fool out of me!! Why didnât tell me!â I yelled
âIâm sorry I wanted to but I started to like youâ he said not looking at me.
âyou started to like me? If you really liked me you would have told me sooner!â I sobbed and stood up, ..
âpeople like you should rot in hellâ I said and walked passed him⌠âSamantha I..
âI wish I never spoke to youâ I cut him off.
âand James.. James.. Is that even your real name?â I sob as I stare at the door.
âitâs.. Janiceâ he muttered lowly and his or her.. I donât even know what gender to feel in.. This is annoying, itâs killing me!!
âwell Janice, I hope to never see you againâ I said and walked out.