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Household Enemies episode 15



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When she gets to Wahidi’s house, he is lying down on an old mat, the room has a stentch of urine mixed with cigarrete and alcohol, clearly, he just finished smoking and drinking. As soon as she gets in, he stands up and hug her.
Wahidi: “Baby mi, I no say you no fit do without me. You don dey miss my touch be that.”
Funke: “I am not here for any talk, Wahidi. Do what you have to do and let me go. But first, you have to promise me that you will tell your mother and my mother that you are no longer interested in me. And, I brought condom along, you have to wear it.”
Wahidi: “Na wa o, how you go come my house come dey give me rules?”
Funke: “By the way, why did you send me an SMS the other time that you had kidnapped my fiance only for me to find out that you lied?”
Wahidi: “Person no fit joke with you again? I bin think so you go run come here make I pound you small before you know say I just lie ni. See Funke, I go tell my mother and your people say I no marry you again but that na after you spend the night with me o, I go do you all night and I no dey use any rubber, Na skin to skin I want since this na the last time wey I go touch you.”
Funke: “What!”
Wahidi: “Yes, you hear me well.”

Annoyed and disgusted at Wahidi’s demands, Funke makes up her mind not to sleep with him anymore. She reasons that Wahidi being the drunk he is will always demand for more … even when she is married, he may even go the extent of making their … video to blackmail her thereby running her marriage with Kenny. She decides to act fast before it is too late.
Funke: “You can go to hell with you and your threats. I will never condescend so low as to sleeping with an illiterate like you again. You wanna spoil my marriage ceremony, go ahead but you will never see the colour of my pant again, you idiot.”
Wahidi: “Funke, you don dey craze ba? Na me you dey give all these big insults? Emi Wahidi omo Babaolagbara, I go arrange you, Funke. I swear I go do you strong thing, una marriage no go hold. Aaah! blood go flow, I will strike at your happiest moment, you go cry blood. You go see!”
Funke: “Go ahead and do your worst Wahidi. The worst you can do is to kill me and I will die a happy lady knowing that I didn’t allow an imbecile like you to touch me again.”
Wahidi: “Carry your body commot for my house before I break your head…”
Funke: “I am already leaving, good riddance to bad rubbish”, she hisses as she leaves the room banging the door behind her and causing him to startle.

That night after everybody has gone to sleep, Funke, vexed in the spirit gets up and begin to pray with her heart and soul. So great was her sorrow that her tears flowed uncontrollably as she prayed. She takes up several worship and praise songs as she remembers what the angel had told her some days back. She is still engrossed in prayers when she fell asleep.
Angel: “Wake up, do not be weary, continue to pray. Its only two days away to the manifestation of your glory and the disgrace of the evil ones. The hour draws near when God will prove Himself mighty in battle. The devil and the evil ones do not sleep. While people sleep and snore, the evil one causes havoc and divert people’s destiny but we are a blessed people because the Lord our Creator does not sleep nor slumber. Just two days!”
Funke woke up with her Bible in her hands, she realises that she has slept off while praying and all the angel said to her was in a dream. She glances at the clock on the wall, the time is half past six, first time in months that she had slept well till morning. “The battle indeed is the Lord’s, let him have his way”, she said smiling. She gets on her knees again, and begins her morning devotion. “Anybody that says I will not enjoy peace, the person will not enjoy peace too because they are contending with the most high”.
“Arise Oh Lord, let your enemies be scattered…” she begins to sing.

The D-day for them Marriage ceremony arrives with the village bustling with activities. Funke’s compound is already filled with people as early as 6:00am, the women are busy cooking different delicacies as a group of young men are busy skinning and and cutting two cows provided by Kenny’s family. This is in addition to several chickens and goats that have been slaughtered the previous day. Everybody is excited as they will be enough to eat and drink and take home. The women while leaving their houses carried along nylon bags of different sizes with which they intend to store food items and of course, meat.
Funke wakes up early, she had slept very little all through the night and she couldn’t wait for the marriage ceremony to be performed so that she can join her man in the city.
Funke: “Why did I even allow an elaborate ceremony, I should have just done everything quietly with just few family members around, afterall I am pregnant already, who am I doing all these for?”, she thought to herself while she was tossing on the bed over the night. On her way to the bathroom to freshen up, she remembers the dream she had that frightened her over the night. She dreamt that she was in a garden with Kenny, as they were playing, a man appeared from nowhere and started chasing them, he caught up with Kenny and stabbed him several times on his chest, he ran away before she could look at his face. “God, please keep Kenny safe for me, for the sake of this innocent child in me”, she prays silently. Her mother has also kept to her promise of staying away from the marriage preparations after Funke failed to persuade Wahidi to say that he is no longer interested. Funke hopes that her mother will have a change of heart today and participate in the activities of the day.
After bathing, she goes to her parents’ bedroom and kneels before her mother.
Funke: “Mama, please forgive me for everything I have done to hurt you. I am getting married today and I don’t want to go to my husband’s house without your blessings. Please, I want you be around, don’t make me motherless on this very important day of my life.”
Mama Funke: “I will not attend your marriage and you will not have my blessings. Shebi you and your father don arrange with my people that’s why them dey support you, your father tell me say my elder sister go give motherly blessing instead of me. No wahala, na my shop I dey go so, your tears no fit stop me”, she walks away.

Wahidi is in his house drinking, smoking and pondering on what to do to get back at Funke for refusing to allow him touch her one more time. He knows that today is the marriage ceremony and if he doesn’t act fast, he may never see her again. A part of him keeps telling him to let go for the sake of the good times they had but he keeps shutting the voice out of his head.
He hears a knock on his door, he ignores and his friend and partner in crime walks in.
Segun: “Ah-ah, Wahidi, shey you still dey here? I been think say you don dey their Funke house by now as per shareholder, now.”
Wahidi: “w€tin I wan go do there?”
Segun: “To eat and drink now, kilo she e. No be everytime this kind wedding dey happen for our village o. At least, you go there, eat enough and drink enough then carry enough come back, that way you go don recover the money wey you spend on the babe when unadey together.”
Wahidi: “Guy, commot from my house, abeg. Which kind mumu talk be this? Na awoof go kill you.”
Segun: “Okay o, if hungry hammer you, you go find that place come. I no say as you dey so, nothing dey this house. I don dey go there be that, I no fit miss out.”
Kenny and his people arrived almost late for the ceremony and Funke was worried to death that something may have happened to him. She had insisted that they arrive and spend the night the previous day to avoid him travelling on the marriage day but he had declined saying there was no good hotel for him and his people to lodge in the village.

Ghen! Ghen!! After the traditional marriage rites, having being blessed by their parents and elders, there comes a moment of silence as the crowd is distracted by the arrival of an old man in white; he waves his staff in the air, looks straight to the direction he is walking and points the staff at the direction of a man putting on Blue Agbada, Mr Ajanlekoko, that is Funke’s uncle, Kate’s father sitting
Old Man: “The time has come, we have cut off your wings, the battle is now over…You think the Lord will sit and watch you destroy an innocent soul?, What offence has she committed?” He moves closer to Funke’s uncle “Confess! Confess you wicked soul!” he commands,
Ajanlekoko is hit by something strange but quickly brings out a little object and licks it,
Kate’s Father (Ajanlekoko): What? I don’t seem to understand what you’re talking about. I have always been loving Funke and my Brother Aderibigbe. We are more like snail and shell. That’s why I’m here today celebrating funke’s success. Please respect yourself Old man or whatever you call yourself.” He scolds.
Funke: “Uncle, what’s going on here? Who is this old man in white garment?” she looks at the Old Man closely then says, “Baba, don’t I know you?” The Old man ignores Funke’s question and faces the Uncle!
Old Man: “Young man, I am not here because of snails and shells. The spirit of God has revealed that the Sponge you used to bathe Olufunke Aderibigbe at birth has brought problems into her life. It is in your custody. So, bring it out!”
Ajanlekoko laughs sarcastically,
Ajanlekoko: “Sponge?” turns to the person around him laughs again then to his brother “ Aderibigbe my brother, did you hear what this disillusioned old man just said?“Kate’s father asked
Funke’s Father: “Please my Brother, You know old age has a way of rubbing of one’s senses ,please, forgive …” Ajanlekoko cuts in..
Ajanlekoko: “You See? People causing discord among relations. Hmm… bathing sponge at birth since all these years? I believe Funke should be 23years old now. Or is she 10 or 15 year old?”
The Old Man fixes his gaze on him,
Old Man: “Ajanlekoko, you must look for it. It is in your custody. Produce it now. Wherever you keep it, you must bring it out”
Ajanlekoko is angry,
Ajanlekoko: “Old man, please go! Do not spoil today’s happiness” he beats his chest, “my happiness.”
Old Man: “Young man, I won’t go. That sponge must be produced because is the service of the problems in her life. Bring it out in Jesus Name!!!”
Ajanlekoko staggers as thunder strikes twice at the sound of that name JESUS, he gathers himself back, stood up and replied:
Ajanlekoko: “Old man, you are making unnecessary poke-nosing. You might look old but you are too young for what you are asking for. Yes, too young! You are not up to the task. Haaa! The Load that weighed down the donkey, you sheep wants to try it? Are you equal to the task?”
Old Man: “True, I might be small up to the task but JESUS who is in me is greater than the whole world. Ajanlekoko ooo, you have to produce it! The Book of Deuteronomy 29:29, says “the secret things belong to God, those revealed to us belong to us and our Children. The spirit of God has revealed it to us. That’s why I’m requesting you to bring out the sponge. “
Ayangbure is standing with fire in his eyes,
Ajanlekoko: “Look, whatever you call yourself. What you are attempting will lead you to trouble. I can assure you that. No one can walk in the darkness of the night that does not begin with him.”
Old Man: “That is true. But the Bible says, the light so shines that darkness cannot comprehend it. I wasn’t there when you did it but my Bible makes me to understand the secret things belong to God, those revealed to us belong to us and our Children. Also the Bible says, fire goes before the Lord and consumes His enemies. I prophesy, the bathing sponge of Olufunke Aderibigbe at birth is with you. I command you in Jesus’ name, Bring It OUT!!! “
Ajanlekoko staggers again, falls flat on the ground, with his face,Funke’s father rushes to help his brother.
Funke’s father: “My Brother, are you ok?” Aderibigbe asked looking at his brother falling down helplessly
Ajanlekoko who is shaking like one with epilepsy kneels down, hit the ground 3 times with his palm there appeared a sponge, w€t and still dripping water.
Funke’s father, stunned, moves away from his brother.
Funke’s father: “Egbon mi Ajanlekoko, having vouched for you?” His mouth was wide opened
Ajanlekoko looks at Funke as he is shaking…
Ajanlekoko: “Funke, if not for the potency of God’s word that compelled me to bring out the sponge, if you don’t find this sponge, it can’t be well with you in Life. You could be a 1 st Class Graduate but your character will be that of 1 st Class patient at Yaba LeftSide. People will be wondering if truly you are a learned person or not and that will not make your marriage work or stable.”
The people scream, most of them scampering closer to have a better view; it is show going to be the trendy gist in town and neighbouring villages.
Funke:” Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!” Funke opened mouth agape. She was sweating and as well frightened
Kate’s father now turns to Funke
Ajanlekoko: “Funke, be grateful to this Old man. I am responsible for all the terrible ordeals in your life. I am the reason your trip to the US wasn’t successful, I am the reason” He falls on his knees, the crowd stands up in shock; some covering their mouth with their hands”
Funke discovered the sponge still dripping truly… she yelled, the guest yelled too!
Funke: “Baba,” to the Old Man, “Father, Everyone, the sponge is truly w€t. It is still dripping water. Haaaaah!
Ajanlekoko: “It will remain w€t, even if it lasts for 100 years.” He replied in shame
Funke: Haaah! Haaaa! Egba mi oooh!” Funke dashes to the ground clutching her fists to the sand.
Funke shocked and heart-broken, tries to run to pour out her anger, but Kenny holds her by the arm to stop her. The guests stare in amazement
Old Man:”Tell them why you wanted to ruin her life” another thunder strikes, this time, making Funke’s uncle, Ayangbure half-paralysed
Funke’s Uncle: “I was jealous, how can Funke be successful when my own daughter isn’t ? how? Who was Funke to go to US before my daughter?” he confesses and collapses
The Old man raises his hands up in the sky, the w€t sponge returns to his hands,
Old Man: “you’ve been w€t for 23 years. I command you to dry up and let good fortune return back to her,“ immediately the sponge dries up and is destroyed.
Funke breaks down in tears; she can’t believe her beloved Uncle was responsible for her misfortunes. Kenny embraces her and orders the village boys to take him away from the venue, the old man disappears into thin air…

After recovering from the shocking incidence which kept the village agog for hours, the couple step out to the stage for their first dance as a couple. The DJ on the instruction of Kenny plays Sunny Nneji’s Oruka , Funke is dancing as her joy knows no bound. She is grateful to God that Wahidi didn’t carry out his threat. After the dance, as they make for the special seat reserved for the couples, Funke sees from afar a gun pointing at Kenny, she imagines that she is hallucinating, in a twinkle of an eye, the dream she had the previous night comes flashing. “No! I wont allow him kill Kenny, she shouts as She runs in front of him and getting shot in the process by the bullet meant for Kenny. Everyone scampers for safety with only Kenny bent over Funke who has fallen down in the pool of her own blood. “Help!”, Kenny shouts in an agonising voice.


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