Humping styles episode 5

PELE-DONA: UNPLAY REASONS
HUMPING STYLES
HUMP 5
The Author
The other medical guy walked over to the bed and stood staring into my face, and then he reached down rapidly and flicked his hand across my eyelids, trying to close my eyes.
Look at another mumu! Don’t close my eyes, please, please, please! Nobody has sent you to close my eyes, you frog-head. Instead of checking my pulse again to put your colleague to shame, you’re trying to close my eyes! You craze? I’m not dead, but if you close my eyes, oh Lord, I can die!! If you close my eyes I can’t see again, and I might look dead…don’t close my eyes, Nurse whatever the f-ck your name is pleeeeeeeeeeease!!
He tried two more times, then he straightened up with shock on his face.
“Cha, the guy en eyes no dey close o,” he said with a bit of discomfiture.
“Yeah, rigor mortis set in be that,” the other one said, and God help me, if I had had a hand I would’ve punched that guy dead that instantly.

Rigor mortis your head, rigor mortis your mother, rigor mortis your damn ass! Haven’t you seen rigor mortis before? Do I look like my limbs are stiff from death? I’m alive, oh Lord, oh dear Lord…me te ase o, meenwu y3 o…oh dear, oh dear! Help me out here, Lord, my God! I promise to go to church! I promise to stay away from all unlawful pussies! And I promise not to fornicate again, my Lord! Help me, please! Let my hand move, even my toe koraa I’ll be grateful, Lord! Even eta, flatulence koraa let me flatuu small so that these guys go know sey I no die, my God, I beg you papaaapa, Nana Nyame…oh, Awurade…hmmm!
I heard a loud zipping sound, and then a moment later they approached me. One grabbed my legs, and the other one grabbed my shoulders.
The one who had tried to close my eyes looked into my eyes, and then he looked up at his colleague.
“Cha, ebe like the guy no die o!” he said with a nervous laugh. “E dey look my face like e wan say something!”
Yes, yes, tell him, tell the idiot that I’m not dead, oh please, please! I’m not dead! I’m alive in here, please! Yes, talk am sey I dey peep your face toyoooo like I wan yob you something goooood! Look into my eyes, and you would see something something…who sang that song sef? Richærd Marx? Oh, look into my eyes, please, please…I’m not dead! Just look into my damn eyes, MY EYES ARE ALIVE!! See how I’m staring holoooor at you….
“Dawg am,” the other said with a grin. “Ebi toto e come chop wey e die! E no dey believe sey toto get murder weapon for in,side too, that is why e shock like that! My friend, never fool with toto! E go kill you one touch, especially Ga toto! I sure sey the chick wey hammer this f-cking bastard to death be Ga! Heerh! Ga toto go fit murder you one touch if you no bang the thing correct!”
They burst into raucous laughter at that!
“You fool waaa!” the other guy said, laughing. “My wife be Ga, you hear? Make you no fool for der, my paddy!”
Oh, fools, you fools…stop this bullcrap! Look into my eyes, I ain’t dead! Have you seen Ga toto before, nkwasiafo! No toto can kill the Pele-Dona! Toto is my playing field, you frog-heads! It is my spine…something went kein in my spine! Check my spine and stop this stupid toto toto toto bullshit, you frogs!

They lifted me up and dropped me into a body bag lying on the floor, and drew the two sides across my face.
Panic!
Real horror blasted through me like I had never known it before! This hell just got more horrible, oh dear Lord! They were going to zip me up like a corpse!
Noooooo! Don’t do this! Don’t zip me up, pleaaaaaaase! I’m not dead! I am not dead! I am not dead! Look at my eyes! Lord, my God, hear the prayer of a sinner! I won’t sin again! No, dear Lord, I won’t fornicate again if you let me give these frogs a sign…even a stinking flatulence I’ll take it like that, or a belch…anything, something, oh Lord of Japheth, Lord of Gideon, Lord of Abednego…
And then, the most horrible sound I had ever heard…
Ziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip!
They zipped up the bag right across my face, and I was left in,side that bag! They lifted me up and carried me to the elevator, and then moments later they put me down!
At that point, I wanted to die to escape all that horror!
What was happening to me? Why, oh why?
Dear Lord help me!
And then, several minutes later, I felt movement, and then the shrill sounds of an ambulance, and then I realized they had put me into an ambulance, and I was on my way to a place I didn’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to deduce!
They were taking me to a mortuary!
Jesus H. Christ conceived by Mary who was banged by the Holy Ghost and put the pregnancy on poor Joseph, the first man to accept an unplanned pregnancy!
So there I was, alive but zipped up like a corpse, with the sounds of the sirens of the ambulance going kpiniii-kpiniii-kpiniii-kpinii-kpinii in my ears, and my horror escalating by the second.
The question was, how the hell had I managed to get into this mess in the first place? Was it worth it? Was this horror, this palpable terror, worth that curvy and gigantic booty of Angela?
Hell no!
Why had I allowed that girl to give me such humping styles only to end up like this? Damn, I could have stopped her the first time she pushed my legs up when my back was against the headboard, but it had felt so damn warm and tight and sweet at first! But then, as the numbness had increased in my thighs, I had found it impossible to even raise my hands to push her off me, even at a time the pain had become so unbearably terrifying!
I would have cried if I could. I would have scre-med myself hoarse if I could. Lord, I wanted to move my body and contort myself! Just a tiny bit of movement to make them know that I was still alive, but no jazz! I just couldn’t move a muscle, and only my eyes were alive. Well, maybe not even my eyes, because I couldn’t even move my eyes…I could just stare!
Finally, the ambulance stopped, and the cacophony of the siren ended. There were some muffled voices, and then I felt myself being lifted. My body, still zipped up in,side that bag, was put on a gurney, I guessed, and then it was wheeled rather recklessly along rough grounds, then smooth grounds and finally I was hurled in the air to slam down hærd on a floor.
The zipper was pulled down, and then hands reached for me roughly as I was tilted out of the bag…onto a strange floor!
I knew immediately that I had been brought to a mortuary!
And, dear Lord, horror of horrors…
I found myself surrounded by corpses, corpses, corpses!
There were dead people all around me!
Men, women, kids…
And most of them were bleeding, some without limbs and torsos!
This looked like a fresh accident case of sorts, and the victims had been brought here to this mortuary, and these damn unfeeling medical bastards had added me to them!
Oh, Lord!
I was even lying in blood!
Me, Pele-Dona, had been brought to a mortuary where victims of a fresh accident case had been dumped!
And I was now a part of them!
How had the night of passion ended with a dawn of horrors?
Instead of the sweet curvy arms of a bootilicious h¡ppicious br-astfullibicious woman around me, I had the almost severed hand of a dead accident victim lying on my th-gh….
Oh, aden, Awurade Nyankopon? Enti fornication kakra bi a Barima bey33 enti na wode me ab3sh3 accident room saa yi, me Nyame?
Surely, this punishment was too great for a simple session of humping style-laden fornication!
Oh, God!
Hey, hey, you bad people, you frogs, get me out of here! Take me out of here! I’m not dead! I’m alive, oh Lord, let them know I’m alive! I can’t sleep with accident victims! Oh, look, one of the eyes of that man is poking out, looking at me…I’m afraid, Lord, Jesus Christ I believe in you! You died on Golgotha for my sins and said somebody will be in Heaven with you for believing…Jesus I believe, Jesus I believe! Do one of your miracles for me now, Nyameba Yesu…hit me with miracle o, even crawling miracle koraa I like, so that I can crawl out of this mortuary o, Jesus, Nyameba Yesu, I beg wai, have small mercy on me wai, na mey3 morbor…
I felt like weeping!
Never in my life had I felt so terrified!
One of the dead men’s face was near me. Half of his head appeared to be sliced off, and he was grinning at me out of a half-mouth, his teeth grisly exposed.
He seemed to be laughing at me, wondering what I was doing in the land – well, not land, exactly – room, yes, room of the dead. I wondered if he were dead.
This was where a little slit of hair-covered h0le had landed me, simply because I was a player who just couldn’t stop sleeping with girls!
Oh, Lord, please, deliver me from here! I’ll get baptized! Oh, I’ll go to church every Sunday! I’ll never fornicate again! I’ll obey your laws and marry in the name of the Lord! I will sing Hark Hosanna every Easter…Awurade Nyankopon, gye meoooo, gye me! In fact, I’ll get a bag, just like the Jehovah Witness’ bag, and I’ll go from house to house, station to station, player to player, pr-stitute to pr-stitute just to evangelize! I’ll change from Paul to Saul…
Yie, or is it Saul to Paul…whatever, I’ll change, I promise I will change if you give me a miracle now, Lord Yesu! Let me show a sign…even vomit koraa I’ll take it like that…please, please, please, this place I’ve reached dierrr, it is a serious place, Awurade, all jokes aside! I don’t think even Jesus would’ve been calm in a mortuary surrounded by accident victims with split heads, legs and stomachs, I swear walayi…save me, Lord! Oh, oh, oh, oh…
So, I stayed in that mortuary room with the corpses for a very long time, a time I judged to be over a couple of hours. Finally, I heard a door opening, and then I heard a frantic voice I recognized…
tbc