😋 I FVCKED HER 👉🏽👌🏽
I resumed work feeling fresh and fly. Na so I just
dey run my things like say nothing dey happen. I
don bone Perpetual side for like 4 days now.
Which kind babe self she dey claim abi no be t0to she ma get? You go send person recharge card, she go flash you make you call back, then she go tell you
say she don see the card. Most times self, I go just dey wish say I fit just march go her house go collect all the money of the card wey I don buy for her.
Na wa o. This my colleague no wan free me.
He come smile like say him don hit jackpot.
“I had a very great vision.”
My ear stand. All my mind be say him don see vision
for me as I take become the first Idoma man to rule
Nigeria. Well, if the country never turn to Arewa,
Biafra and Odua by the time I ready to take the
reins of leadership.
“Really? Tell me about it.”
I come leave w€tin I dey type, carry my hand drop
for my chin for full alert.
“I saw myself.”
“You get vision for yourself come mean say na me
suppose interpret am for you?”
I asked him. He looked at me like I did not say
anything, instead he resumed his speech.
“You know I am like the assistant pastor in my
church, I am now planning to build my own
Ahhh…. What plan would one who is still under
“See, your hell fire no be here. So you dey plan to
rent shop take begin your ministry eh? Choirs and
female members don carry belle finish be that.”
I chided him.
“That’s why you need to change your life. I might
He concluded his speech not minding my
“Mtchw… See this man. So you want the two of us
to dupe people? Just say it out. E be like nollywood
don too full your head oo.”
I said to him and decided to face my work.
“See Attai, you won’t understand. The bible says,
Behold I come like a thief in the night.”
That got at me.
Remember to remove the log of wood in your eyes
before removing the spec in mine.”
I cautioned him.
A female voice coughed gently. I lifted my head to
behold a very pretty being. Mehn, the ways of the
Lord is mysterious.
She asked. Well, who am my not to do my job. I switched to phoney immediately.
“Uhm, he is not around. I believe he should be on
his way back to the office.”
I ended with a sweet smile. My colleague sensing
what I was about doing just shook his head and
went into his office.
Kai, who would see the
creature before me and not give her the sweetest
smiles? Most times, you don’t need to talk to some
women, just smile. There are lots and lots of hidden
messages in that smile.
for the dude she had come to see.
Minutes later the door flew open. The guy bounced
in but stopped in his track. A look of shock then
surprise then happiness (i be psychic na) flooded
his face. The lady on her own just stood up and flew
into his hands. They did not exchange words o, they
just stood there hugging themselves, then walked
out hand in hand.
Me, I felt I had lost out of the
game. Time to concentrate on something better. I
went into my facebook account and began chatting
with the numerous ladies there.
“Can you help me do something?”
It was Isaiah.
“Anything o, as long as I go get my share inside.”
“Kai, Foxy, ba za ka canza ba”
**Foxy, you no dey change.** (No more hausa)
Me, change? Him no hear w€tin Paul talk about
Ethiopians and leopards?
“Haba, you know say you be my man. Anything for you
😋 I FVCKED HER 👉🏽👌🏽
“Big time. Guy, na Boss place we go buy the leaves
from o. You know say him vegetable always dey
I said and he grinned. He left me and went out,
well, I was still smiling when my phone vibrated. I
picked the crazy Nokia up and looked at the screen.
One New Message.
“I am sorry if I had sounded somehow the last time.
You know I am just recovering from heartbreak and
would not want to commit myself immediately.
more than you love me.”
Perpetual don come again!!!
I dropped the phone. I was happy inside o but mehn,
I was also confused. So this babe been don like me
na im she wan turn me to her money bag eh.
My finger just dey scratch me make I call her but my
mind dey say make I relax. If I call am, e go show
say I dey desperate for a come-back. Come-back to
w€tin self? Wasting my money without tasting shi-
shi from her honey pot.
Some girls just dey too
w!cked walai. After guy don spend for you finish,
you go come break up with am. Once them realize
say them really gain from you and no maga dey
forthcoming, them go use sweet talk take bath your
If you mu’mu, you go fall the second time.
“Na w€tin this babe want now? After she don form
finish she wan come back. Maybe I go draw her oil
Na so I dey carry talk to myself when something
dey bother me.
Una no fit blame me sha, every man
dey always determine to succeed for where him
been fail before.
My phone begin ring. I look the call, na so I ignore
am. The phone come ring 4 more times. All na
Perpetual dey on the line. Kai, I just dey gyrate say
na my time to do yanga be that.
I no call am till
when I close from office. Na that time I say make I
call her so that I go gist the short journey from my
office down to bridge or massalaci junction wey I
go see car enter.
“The number you are calling is not reachable.
Please try again later”
Thund£r go fire MTN or the mu’mu network wey no
good. Useless people wey no dey like their
customer enjoy better thing.
Na so I say make I begin vex when my phone start to dey ring again.
I no form big boy o. After all, na she wan apologize
no be me. Na so I pick the call come keep quiet for
like 5 seconds.
“Hello, are you there?”
Kai, I miss that voice. Na so I swallow spit compose
myself. I no wan talk like say I dey excited.
Everything na step by step.
“Yes, I am”
I answered, my voice come even surprise me. The bass just come out, mehn, I come dey trip for myself.
See bass abeg.
“Did you see my message?”
See question. I blind?
“Nah, did you send any message?”
I want make she use her mouth take talk w€tin dey
the message. Una no fit blame me na, once the wind
change, na to mess follow the direction. Na who dey
road go hear the smell.
“Ok, maybe network is holding the message even
though it showed ‘delivered’ on my phone. Did you
see my missed calls?”
Them no dey lie for this kind question. Mind you, no
be lie I dey lie, I just dey play matured game.
“I did but I was busy.”
Na so her voice change…
“Busy doing what eh!”
O boy, the babe never change o.
“If you are going to talk to me in that manner, I will
drop this call”
Na so I threaten am. By that time I don dey wait for
car make e come.
“I am sorry. I love you and I want to be with you.”
Walahi, this kind question no be me dey answer am,
na my d!ck dey always do the talking. The preek
just charge slightly as my mind just imagine how
her body go look like if she no wear cloth.
Na w€tin comot from my mouth but for my mind na
“I FEEL GOODDDD… TA RA RA RA RA RA”.
“Is that all you will say?”
By that time car don come and I don jump enter
inside after elbowing one guy comot from road. The
guy self just dey outside dey abuse me. For where,
I send am, me don enter car, na w€tin important be
“Hey see, we will talk later. I just entered into a
car.” (this line famous ma)
Na so I drop call before she fit protest. Minutes
“I will be waiting for you in Oceanic Bakery”
TO BE CONTINUED…