Incomplete episode 9

INCOMPLETE

Writer: Anonymous❤️

Sequence 9

I have been thinking too much lately, I rarely have time to eat Chloe has even mentioned I have lost some weight and most of the times I have none stop headaches, sleeping is also a major issue, I rarely sleep I spend almost the wh0le night with my eyes open, if I want to sleep then I need to take pills for that but should this be the way my life will turn out? This marriage has brought me more harm than good and I am still debating within myself regarding what I should do next. Yes I know what you are thinking, why can’t she leave already? Why is she enduring all this? Remember what I said this pain can only be felt by someone going through the same situation or who has passed through it. When God says leave I will leave but right now I am fighting this battle on my knees through prayer.

I woke up Saturday morning and decided to do a thorough clean up in the house, Dan was taking his relatives out so it would just be me and Nono.
“Ah madam these your in-laws are evil mwe” Nono commented when we were preparing breakfast
“Mmmmmm, Nono what makes you think like that sure?” I asked
“Ah it’s not hærd to s₱0t an evil person just the air they breathe is suffocating” she replied
“You should learn to tame your mouth you will get yourself fired” I told her
“I am sorry madam I am just concerned about your well being, “she said
“Thank you Nono I know you are just trying to look out for me but don’t let my husband or his relatives catch talking about them like this or else you will be out in the street” I said
After breakfast the family drove off and I was more than glad to have some peace in my own house, I put on some loud Music and we immediately started cleaning. Nono started with the kitchen, removing all the plates from the kitchen unit, washing and repacking them while I was dusting the living room, scrubbing the couches and rearranging them, I wanted a new look I also removed the yellow curtains and replaced them with the pink ones. After wards I heeded to the dining room, there was none much to do there just cleaning the table and changing the position it was in. when I was done I went upstairs to clean my bed room while Nono cleaned the other bedrooms.

I first scrubbed the tiles in the bathroom and toilet then removed the blankets and bed sheets because I wanted to put clean ones. I usually put the clean blankets on top of the wardrop, I just fold them and put them in bags then place them there, that way it’s easier for me to get them, so I got a stool and climbed on it, I managed to remove one bag and changed my sheets and put the dirty ones in the washing basket then started cleaning.

Cleaning can be hectic sometimes because by the time it was afternoon I was exhausted but that didn’t stop me from finishing up. When I finished the family was back, Dan only dropped them off and drove away he didn’t even enter the house. After I finished off I took a quick bath because I wanted to go out, just to drive myself around town and probably treat myself to dinner.
I finished bathing checked my closet for something to wear, I settled for a black backless jumpsuit I finished off the look with my black stilettos, I sat by the mirror and took time to do my make up afterwards I wore my black bracelets and black earrings, I looked at myself in the mirror just to admire my slender figure, I looked as beautiful as ever I am sure no one would ever guess how much my heart was bleeding.

I brushed off my thoughts because I didn’t want to ruin my day so I picked my black clutch and placed my phone in it then walked out.
“Whose funeral is it?” Sharon asked and they all burst into a series of laughter, I just clicked my tongue and walked to the kitchen.
“I am going out don’t leave dinner for me” I told Nono
“And your husband?” she asked
“Just serve his food on the table since we are not sure if he will come back or not, you know how he is” I said
I got in my car and started driving, as thoughts of my marriage flushed through my mind. When did things turn for the waste? I remember my in-laws and I had a great relationsh¡p once upon a time, both Chloe and I treated them like family so this is how not bearing children can turn people against you? I thought
And the way Sharon was behaving towards me was so unbelievable I couldn’t imagine that was the same Sharon that came to cry to me way back when she needed my help. Sharon got pregnant out of wedlock just after Dan and I had gotten married, she was in University at that time and since my Mother in Law never takes such issues lightly she chased her out and threatened to stop sponsoring her. Everyone in the family sided with their mother and no one accepted to take her in including Dan, because I felt for her I took her in despite my husband not being happy about it, I kept her in my house for close to a year, when her mother froze her accounts I gave her money to buy stuff for the baby and to continue her education, I helped her out till the day they all realized chasing her was not the solution.

I stood up for her like she was my sister and look at how she was humiliating me, so unappreciative of her.
I drove around for a long time till it was time enough to have my dinner then I drove to Lusaka West to the restaurant that Chloe and I had last eaten last time, when I choose a place the corner of the restaurant. I ordered some egg fried rice with Bacon plus a bottle of red wine at the side.
They brought me the food and I started eating slowly, I didn’t really want to eat but I had to because I was losing weight and that was getting Chloe worried.

I was sipping my wine and feeling relaxed while pressing my phone when I heard a voice that sounded familiar, nowhere in hell would I miss that voice, I knew just who it was but why was he here?
I slowly looked the direction where the voice came from just so I could be sure about what I heard and when I turned there he was, my heart skipped a bit when I saw him enter the restaurant holding a woman, they looked so cozy like they were in love, he was even planting k-sses on her neck as they looked for a table, I quickly took the menu book and hide my face.
Then it clicked in my head, I took another quick glance at the woman and what I noticed killed me a thousand times, I wish the earth could just swallow me that very moment.

The woman Dan entered with was pregnant, I couldn’t handle what I was seeing, was she the reason he spent night outs? The reason he had become so hostel towards me, or maybe it was a colleague or something but why did they look so attached to each other. You know when you are in a state of confusion your mind tends to wander to all kinds of thoughts.
For some minutes I sat on my table with the menu covering my face while thinking of my next move then I slowly walked over to his table after paying my bill. He was busy whispering into her ears and she was giggling like a school girl, it hurt so bad to watch my man being so cozy with another woman.

“Hey” I said
He looked shocked to see me but didn’t make a move or say anything.
“I see you have company I won’t disturb, I will meet you at home” I said
I know what you are thinking, Pam how could you just walk out like that? If it were me I would beat up the woman, cause a scene and all sorts of things running through your mind right now but tell me what would that solve? If I became dramatic everyone would watch us some would even get videos then we would be the talk of social media, I refuse to wash our dirty linen in public, yes I was hurt beyond measure but I have learnt to be slow to anger because human anger never achieves God’s righteous purpose.

When someone is consumed by anger they are bound to make the waste kind of mistakes that they will regret when they are calm, people are even capable of killing when they are upset, so when you are too upset the best thing is to walk away and I did just that.
When I walked out I sat in my car for a while as I was trying to take in what I had just witnessed. It was too much to bear, now I had all the proof I needed I was barren, I was never going to have children but why would God punish me this way? What have I ever done wrong? Were my prayers not enough?
After some time I felt water creep out of my eyes and I gently whispered to myself “It is done Pam you lost him”
I hugged myself and just let the tears fall, it was tears of sadness, tears of realization that all along I had been fighting a losing battle that maybe my mother in law was right there was need for me to waste time in prayer when my answer wasn’t coming through.

I felt like God had betrayed me, how could he bless my husband and another woman with something I had been asking him for? How could he turn his ear away from me and allow her to break my home by giving her a child. Even though I was sure Dan had gotten that lady pregnant, something in me just wanted to hear it from him, maybe there was a mistake somewhere, I need him to tell me that what I was thinking was wrong. I drove out not knowing where I was going for the wh0le night I kept on driving in circles, I was exhausted, I was desperate I was hopeless. I spent the night in the car enduring all the coldness as I listened to the rain pouring.

I was woken up by the sun which was shining brightly on my window, I must have slept in the car, in the middle of nowhere, I got my phone and checked the time it was 8 hours. I sat up for while thinking of how I was going to face Dan at home then after sometime I drove off, it took me awhile to know exactly where I was, I asked for directions from a number of people till I found my way back, the drive back home was slow and depressing, I was feeling like a train had run over me, I was tired, it was a Sunday and for the first time in years I didn’t feel like being in God’s presence for the first time I felt like giving up on God.
When I got home, Nono quickly rushed outside. “She is here” she shouted
Then I saw my sister coming of my door followed by her husband and the rest of the family.

“We were so worried about you?” she said
“I am fine Chloe” I answered
Chloe must have spent the night crying I don’t even know who called her I didn’t want to get her involved in my marital issues at least not yet.
“Look at you?” what happened to you baby? Who hurt you this bad?” she asked
I stared at Dan who in turn looked down and tears feel off my eyes as I held on to my sister.
“Hush you can talk to me” she said
“I want to rest” I told her
Dan’s family where looking at me as though they had seen a ghost, Chloe esc-rted me to my room and prepared a bath for me, I felt so hopeless she had to undress and bathe me that’s how drained I was.

I didn’t want to talk so Chloe stayed with me for a long time just holding my hand as I slept and wiping off the tears, I know she felt hopeless because there was nothing she could do to sooth my pain.
Chloe then started singing to me like she used to when I was little. This woman has had my back for a long time, I remember just how broken I was when we lost our parents, when they announced the plane they were in had crushed, my life was crushed too and I cried for so many months, still she stood by me, she was hurt by their death too but for my sake she had to be strong, I was depressed for so a long time it took therapy to get me back to normal and now I was feeling a similar pain, a pain so deep that would make history repeat itself.
……………………………

OMG😱I didn’t expect Dan to be this cruel.

What will Pam do now?
TBC