Intertwined episode 14

🤝INTERTWINED🤝

💑EP FOURTEEN💑

 

Wednesday, I surprised Chris by showing up in his office. Hewas having a chat with one of his lady colleagues. He wassurprised when he saw me at the door of his office.

“Brianne!” he beamed. He came to me and gave me ak-ss. “I thought we weren’t meeting until seven.”

“I thought I should pick you up for a change,” I said. “Ihope it’s not a bad time.”

He shook his head. “It’s perfect!” He turned to theblonde sitting in his office. “Alana, this is my girlfriend,Brianne.”

Alana was a beautiful blonde with startling blue eyes.She was wearing a pencil-cut suit that hugged her body toperfection. She smiled at me brightly. “It’s nice to finally puta face to the name. I’ve heard so much about you.”

She extended her hand to me and I shook it. Standingbeside Alana made me feel out of place. I was wearing apair of skintight jeans and an off-the-shoulder floral blouse,a Juicy Couture cross-body bag, and no make-up at all. Myhair was tied in a careless ponytail with some tendrils loosearound my face. She was wearing an Armani suit and

perfect makeup, not a single hair out of place.Seeing her made me feel that I should have dressed upmore, so Chris and I would look…more suited for each other.

But I guessed it was too late for that now. I told myself Ishould tab that thought for next time.

Chris left early and we had dinner together. Even then, Ifelt like he was lost in his thoughts, like something wasreally bothering him.

“Is this still about my aunt’s anniversary?” I asked himwhen he took me back to my apartment.

He shook his head. “I’m just tired. I have a lot ofpressure at work.”

“Do you want to stay the night?” I asked him. “I can helptake your mind off the pressure.”

He narrowed his eyes. “I didn’t bring a…c-ndom,” hesaid.

I was taken aback. It was the last thing I expected him tosay.

“Well, we did that once before. I’m pretty sure it isn’tthat time of the month for me.”

Chris shook his head. “It’s best we take extra care,” hesaid. “It’s…too early for that kind of pressure.”

“What pressure?” I asked him.

“Family,” he sighed.

“When I asked you to stay the night, I didn’t say ‘Come,impregnate me!’” I said in an irritated voice.

He took a deep breath. “Either way, I’ll see youtomorrow. I have tons of things I need to sort out.”

He left without another argument. When I went to bedalone that night, I tried to remember when Chris startedacting differently.

It started the morning that Travis’s package arrived. Butthen again, we didn’t talk or argue about Travis anymore. Ithought it had to be something else. And when did he everfind the idea of sleeping together abhorrent? Or pressuring?

He never did before. But now…it seemed like he wasavoiding it. Why?

***

I didn’t see Chris for another two days. I made no effort tocall or text him. He had issues to sort out. I wanted to givehim space to think and realize that he was being ridiculous.

My phone rang, and my heart jumped. Finally! He wascalling me! But it wasn’t Chris.

“I’ll be in town tonight, cherie. But my flight to New Yorkleaves at three in the morning. Just thought I’d catch upwith you,” Travis said on the other line.

My heart immediately gave a leap. I felt like crying. Irealized I’d just missed him so much.

“Pick me up?”

“Fifteen minutes.”

I was on my front steps in ten minutes, waiting forTravis. I was dressed in a long floral skirt and a whitesleeveless top. I wasn’t wearing any makeup. Whenever Iwas with Travis, I didn’t have to worry about what I wore atall. There was no pressure to look suited for each other. Andthat felt comforting. With Travis, I didn’t have to hide who Iwas, or pretend to be something I wasn’t.

After two minutes, a red Ferrari parked in front of me. Hegot out of the car wearing a pair of jeans and a black jacket,which made his hair look darker.

“Cherie…” he greeted me in a low voice.

I gave him a tight hug. “I missed you,” I said to him.

“You should come visit me more often.”

He raised a brow. “Why, I thought you had a boyfriend.”

“I do,” I said. “But you’re irreplaceable.”

“Don’t scare me,” he said. “I hope you’re not preppingme for a big favor I can’t say no to.”

I laughed and pulled away from him. “Of course not!”

He opened the passenger door for me.

“Where are we going?” I asked him.

“Have you eaten?” he asked.

I shook my head.

“Let’s go to dinner and then we can have coffee.

Unfortunately, I can’t drink. Flight schedule’s a bummer.”

Travis told me how successful he was becoming in hisbusiness. He’d been having some battles with his father, buthe was winning most of them. He sounded focused and determined to prove his father wrong. I could sense theantagonism in him every time he mentioned him.

“Why do you have to fight with your father all the time?”

I asked him. “Why is it your mission to see him on theground?”

He had a hærd expression on his face. “It’s not like hedoesn’t deserve it, you know.” I could see anger andresentment on his face again.

“Travis…when will you stop this?”

I reached forward and touched his cheek with my palm. Ithought he was going to pull away. But instead, he held hishand up to hold my hand between his cheek and his palm.

He closed his eyes for a moment. Then he took a deepbreath. To my surprise, he turned sideways and k-ssed mypalm. Then he released my hand and gave me a sober,pleading look.

He shook his head. “Don’t ask me that, Brianne,” he saidto me. “My mother has been begging me to reconcile withmy dad. She hasn’t succeeded. But I beg you not to ask methe same thing.”

I bit my lip. It was touching to know that somehow, hestill felt he couldn’t deny me anything. And I knew I wouldnot ask him to do it unless I understood the real reasonsbehind it.

“Not now,” I said to him.

He took a sip of his coffee. “So, how’s the boyfriend?”

I shrugged. “Something’s off. Lately, he’s been actingweird,” I said. “I think he suddenly realized your existence inmy life and he’s…jealous.”

“I told you, you should have stuck it out with Eric!” hesaid, but I knew he was joking.

“Eric must have been more interested in you, youknow,” I giggled.

“But he’s a nice guy,” Travis said. “I want to meet thisChristian.”

“Why? You’re going to have him background-checked?” Iasked him.

“What makes you so sure I didn’t do that two years agowhen you started dating him seriously?” he challenged me.

“Travis!” I glared at him, daring him to deny it.He took another sip of his coffee and didn’t sayanything.

“Unbelievable!” I muttered. “When will you stop?”

“Never,” he said under his breath. The serious look onhis face made me feel that he meant that.

“And what did you find out about Chris?”

“Did I make an effort to warn you or tell you to stayaway?” he asked. “I’m only after your safety, Brianne. Yourrelationsh¡ps are still your own business. And speaking ofrelationsh¡ps, shouldn’t you be concerned about how fastthis Christian will propose to you?”

I stared back at him. “Why would I worry about that?”

“Because, you’re twenty-eight now, cherie,” he said.

“Tic-tock, tic-tock.”

I remembered I’d told Christian about the fact thatwomen in my family had to marry before they turn thirty-one. And apart from being jealous about Travis, Christianhad also acted off when I asked him to sleep over. He’dimmediately told me that he didn’t have a c-ndom with himand that he didn’t want to take that much of a risk.

Now, I guessed I knew what he was cranky about. Hethought there was pressure to settle down, and he wasn’tsure if he was ready.

“Do you want to live with this guy for the rest of yourlife?” Travis asked me solemnly.

I bit my lip. Do I? Am I ready to get married and staymarried, have kids, raise a family? And more importantly,with Christian? Am I going to be happy for the rest of mylife…with him?

Travis sat back in his seat, reading my expression like abook. “Hmmm…interesting.”

“What am I doing, Travis?” I asked him.

He reached out for my hand. “Living your life. Not lettingthe burden of your family tradition affect you. It’s not easyto say the person you’re with is the one you want to be withfor the rest of your life. For some, it’s easy. For most, it’s toodamn hærd. I think you need more time, Brianne.”

“But I don’t have time,” I said to him.

The expression on his face was hærd to read. Hesqueezed my hand. “You do,” he said. “But I can’t tell youwhat to do. You have to figure out this one yourself.”

I hugged Travis tightly when he dropped me off at mydoorstep.

“I’ll miss you,” I said to him. “Please come more often.”

“Your boyfriend will not like that.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll handle that.”

He k-ssed my forehead. “Stay safe, and call me anytimeyou need me.”

“I love you, Travis.”

He smiled at me. “I love you too, Brianne.”

When he left, I wanted to cry. What was I doing? I wasdating a guy who had changed me more in two years thananyone had in all my twenty-eight years. I couldn’t even seemyself being happily married to him yet. He wasn’t evenclose to proposing to me. And I hadn’t even begunwondering how much my relationsh¡p with Travis would

change if Christian proposed and I said yes.

Travis was right. I needed more time to figure out mylife. I wasn’t ready to spend the rest of it with one guy. Iwasn’t sure that Chris was the one for me. And I waspositive he wasn’t sure he wanted me forever, either. But Ihad to decide soon…or I would be cursed for life.

***

Chris knocked on my door the next day.

“Finally, you showed up,” I said. My voice was cold, and Iwas determined to let him know that I wasn’t happy he’dmade no effort to contact me.

He marched in,side my apartment. When he turned tome, his face was flushed and he looked furious.

“Is this your Travis Cross?” he asked and showed me apicture on a magazine.

I snatched the magazine from him and stared at thepicture of Travis with a headline that read, The NewGeneration of Cross Magnates: Younger. Richer. Smarter.

I skimmed through the article. It was a write-up of themajor changes that had been made to Cross Magnates sinceTravis had bought out the majority of their shareholders inhis brilliant move to kick his father out.

I looked at the portrait of the cold, manipulative mannext to the article. He was handsome as hell. But his eyeslacked the warmth they usually had whenever he looked atme.

I looked back at Chris and handed him the magazine.

“Yes,” I said.

“You were with him last night, weren’t you?” he asked.

“How did you…”

“I was about to surprise you,” he said. “I was thinking,this guy could look geeky anyway—maybe I was being silly. Iwas just about to park in front of the building when I saw aFerrari stop in front of you and its young, handsome drivergive you a hug as if he wouldn’t ever let you go! And that’swhen the plate that said TJCROSS caught my eye! I realizedyou’d been lying about him the wh0le time!”

“What? Lying? What did I lie about?”

“You told me nothing was going on between the two ofyou!” he spat back at me.

“There’s nothing!” I insisted.

“I followed you! I watched you! You two sure liketouching each other!”

I laughed humorlessly. “We’re affectionate with eachother! But then again, don’t you get affectionate with yourrelatives? Closest friends? I hug Eric when I see him, too,and that doesn’t seem to be a problem with you.”

“Eric is g-y!” He showed me the picture of Travis in themagazine again. “This guy is straight! He looked like he’djust stepped off the cover of a magazine, he drives a Ferrari,and he’s a billionaire! He’s what every guy aims to bebefore they’re forty! And he’s only twenty-nine!”

“I cannot help your insecurity, Chris! But I don’t think weshould argue about this anymore! Travis is a part of me!He’s a part of my family, the people I hold dear. If we’regoing to be together, you must accept him. And you have totrust that we’re platonic—nothing else!”

I motioned for him to go. He didn’t argue. He closed thedoor behind him with a bang.

***

I had dinner with Eric the next day. I talked to him about myfight with Chris. He smiled at me apologetically. “Chris isvery ambitious. He loves you. And he’s very proud. I guesshe needs to resolve this within himself. He feels insecure.

Travis is that one guy a boyfriend doesn’t want his girlfriendto ever know in her life. He’s…too much competition! Theonly way the guy will feel safe about Travis Cross is if hisgirlfriend is Travis’s sister or cousin. Other than that, there’sjust no way. I mean…he’s as handsome as Lucifer himself!He’s brilliant. Some business critics call him a genius. Andhe’s a billionaire!

“And that’s driving Christian crazy. If I were straight, Iwould have felt the same way when you introduced Travis tome. I wouldn’t have felt right. I would never believe that twogorgeous people wouldn’t have the hots for each other atsome point, at least once in their lives!”

My phone rang, and it interrupted my thoughts. I hadtaken a deep breath before I answered Chris’s call.

“Hello.”

“How was he in bed?” his voice sounded rough, as if hewas drunk.

“What?”

“How was Travis Cross in bed?” he repeated and then helaughed bitterly.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Chris!”

“Don’t lie!” he said. “Cindy told me.”

“Cindy told you what? I haven’t seen Cindy in months!”

“She’s visited for a day,” Chris said. “And just enough forme to find out about your past, Brianne!”

“What past?”

“I said don’t lie!” he shouted. “You slept with TravisCross! The lucky bastard! He’s smart, he’s rich, he’ssuccessful, he’s handsome…and he was your first, wasn’the?”

My heart pounded in my chest, and I felt like all theblood in my body had drained completely.

“It’s not true what you said to me! All this brotherly,platonic shit!” he said angrily. “You’re attracted to him, andI’m pretty sure he wants you, too! Cindy told me you werepretty tight in high school! And you were the reason whyTravis Cross went to Yale when he was set to go to Brown!Because he wanted to be close to you! What guarantee do

we have that you only slept with each other at prom?Nothing! For all I know, you could be…f-ck buddies!”

“Stop that, Chris!” I raised my voice this time. “That wasa long time ago! Nothing’s happening now! I swear to God!Travis and I will never happen!”

“Well, if that is true, you’re just gonna have to choose!Him or me? Decide now! If you choose me, you areforbidden to see him or talk to him, email him or text him. Icannot allow that!”

I stared at Eric helplessly. I couldn’t believe what I washearing. “You can’t ask me to do this, Chris.”

“But I am! It’s the only way we can be together! I cannotallow anything that has to do with Travis Cross!” He took adeep breath. “I can’t look at him and not think about how heturned you from a girl to a woman! That he’s been in,sideyou. That the first man you ever trusted your body with washim! That’s too…much! Too much! So, choose!”

I took a quick moment to imagine my life with Travis. Itwas the way it used to be. Safe. Comforting. I had a family. Ihad somebody who could read me like a book, protect mewith his life and make me laugh out of my wits. Who wouldinspire me to turn even my darkest paintings into colorfulpictures of sunshine and happiness.

Then I imagined my life without Travis, and I felt like myheart had just shattered into a million pieces. It was likelosing my childhood, my family…it hurt the same way it didwhen I lost Tom. My stomach twisted into knots and I almostforgot how to breathe. My heart felt so heavy and there wasa lump in my throat. And suddenly, I knew the answer toChris’s question.

“I love you, Chris,” I said to him. I took a deep breath.

“But I cannot live in a world where Travis Cross does notexist. You can’t ask me to give up a huge part of me andexpect me to live a normal life.”

Chris took a deep breath as if he hadn’t expected me tosay what I’d said. “He’s more important to you thananything else. Brianne…two weeks ago, he was just an ‘oldfriend’ that you caught up with once a month! How did I notsee this coming? How did I not know that there was thisother guy who meant the world to you?”

“You would, if you paid more attention to me,” Imurmured. I realized it was true. Chris didn’t care aboutwhat was going on in my life. It took him two and half yearsto show his face to my family. He never asked me about thefriends I saw, hung out with, or caught up with. He was always content with the fact that I was changing myself andmy ways for him.

“Damn it, Brianne!” he cursed. “How could this guy ruinus? He was stealing you from under my nose!”

Travis was right. Our relationsh¡p was difficult for someguys to understand or accept. That’s why he kept a safedistance from me. Without telling me, I realized then thathe’d drawn boundaries between us. He hadn’t turned up onmy dates with Chris. He only showed up once or twice amonth, and he didn’t demand that I spend too much timewith him. Because he wanted to give me a chance to make

this work. But still…my relationsh¡p with Chris was prettymessed up. Because Chris was one insecure, self-centeredman. And I wasn’t sure I wanted to spend the rest of my lifewith someone like that.

“I meant it when I said that I wasn’t cheating on you.I’ve never cheated on anybody. Travis and I are friends…thebest of friends. He didn’t want to touch me! But I asked himto, because I was young and stupid and under the pressureof high school immaturity. Maybe Cindy should have toldyou that part. Maybe you should have asked her for the fullstory.” I was sobbing but fought to keep a steady voice. “I

love you, Chris. But I choose Travis.” And I hung up on him.

I stared at Eric brokenly. He inched closer and put anarm around me. I rested my head on his shoulder. I closedmy eyes and tried to calm my raging emotions. I didn’tknow how to feel. Devastated? Confused? Angry? Relieved?

“Things will be okay,” Eric said. “Either Chris comes tohis senses…or Travis comes to his—although I’m hoping itwill be the latter.”

I pulled away from Eric. “Shut up, Eric! You know verywell that Travis and I are just friends.”

“I know you are,” he said. He sighed. “But nobody couldtake care of you better than Travis could, you know?”

“I don’t need just that, Eric. I need somebody who couldalso love me…exclusively. Somebody I can fall in love with,and somebody who can fall in love with me.”

“What did you and Christian break up over?”

I took a deep breath. I could feel something twist in,sidemy chest. If I hadn’t been resting my head on Eric’sshoulder, I would have been afraid of fainting. “He found outabout prom.”

“What about it?”

“Travis…and I…we slept together at prom.”

There was silence and Eric stood still. I pulled away fromhim and stared at his shocked expression.

“That’s bad!” I gro-ned. “But I was young. I was…immature! I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. I’d beenhoping to sleep with him. I was probably the only girl inschool who was a V-rgin! And then the guys were makingbets on who could take my V-card. I was stupid!” I sighed. “Iasked Travis to help me out. He didn’t want to. But when he

found out that the guy taking me to prom was in on the bet,he beat him up and told me to dump the guy! He took me toprom instead.”

“And so…he took you to bed, too?”

I sighed and then I nodded. “But it was just one night. Itwas against his will! He almost couldn’t do it!” I laughedhumorlessly. “I have no memories of Travis’s face in bed. Hewanted both of us not to remember that night. Heblindfolded me. He kept his eyes closed during the act. Hedidn’t want us to mention each other’s names. He turned offall the lights afterward, and it was impossible to see the

face of the guy sleeping beside me.

“Then he didn’t show up for weeks. When we saw eachother again…all memories were forgotten. I’m not even sureit was Travis at all! All I know is that…I was with a guy onprom night. He made love to me. He taught me what toexpect when a man and a woman come together in bed. Hemade my first time rom-ntic because he said I deserved it.”

I shook my head. “But I’m not supposed to remember. I’ve never spoken about it with him. Travis and I don’t see eachother that way.”

Eric stared at me wearily. “Did you forget?”

I laughed humorlessly again. “I didn’t have a choice! I…was blindfolded! I never saw his body touching mine! Ididn’t see him over me, k-ssing me, or entering me. I haveno memories of making love to Travis. I have memories ofmaking love for the first time…being with a guy for the firsttime…but I can’t place Travis’s face with the memory. I’msure he didn’t even take a peek at my face that night.Otherwise, he would never have been able to touch me.He’d be too guilty. Travis valued his friendsh¡p with Tommore than anything. He felt he was betraying Tom bytouching me.”

“Why did you choose Travis?”

I sighed. “Because I cannot be with a guy who could askme to give up whatever is left of my ties with my family…whatever is left of my ties with Tom,” I replied. “Travis tookcare of me when my parents couldn’t…wouldn’t. When I lostTom, Travis eased so much of the pain! We may not berelated by blood, but we have this bond now. I cannot bewith a guy who would be selfish enough to ask me to severthose bonds!”

Eric nodded. “I understand. Chris is insecure, but that’snot reason enough to ask so much from you. Give him time.He might come back to his senses.”

When I went home that night, my heart still felt heavy. Iwanted to strangle Cindy for betraying me…for not leavingit up to me to tell Christian about that night with Travis. Butthen again, I wasn’t even sure I planned to tell Christian…oranyone for that matter…about prom night. I was notsupposed to remember…I was supposed to forget.

And although that night was probably the most amazingnight I’d spent with a man…I couldn’t remember Travis in it.That guy had unnerved me, brought my emotions back tolife, made me scre-m, made me whimper, made me want to stay in his arms forever. It was rom-ntic, sensual,terrifying…it was exciting, addicting…it was everything I’dever dreamt of and more…so much more.

I was pretty sure no other night with any other guy couldmeasure up with that night. But I didn’t know that guy’sname. I couldn’t place Travis in that memory. He was somuch different from that guy I went to bed with. The Travis Iknew now would never touch me like that. Even if I beggedhim to!

I thought about Chris and all his promises, all the nightsthat we spent together. I realized that I was counting on therelationsh¡p to last. Long enough to get me through myfamily tradition. I realized that I was hoping that after onemore year with Chris, he’d be ready to propose to me. Buteven that would have been a mistake. Travis was right. I didchange so much because of him.

Another pain stabbed through my heart. I remembereddecorating the apartment with him. He helped me choosethe furniture. The wh0le apartment was a shade of earthtones. Formal. Calm. Professional. So much like Chris! Hehad such mature taste. I gave up the neon lights because Iwanted to fit into Chris’s world…to fit his taste. So he wouldlove me enough to want to marry me and save me from my

family’s curse.

I was deeply saddened, and I felt alone. I wanted to cry,but the tears still wouldn’t come. Maybe I was mad at Chris!Maybe it hadn’t sunk in yet. Maybe I was in shock!

I had a hot bath, and then I slipped into a comfortablecotton spaghetti-strap cami and matching shorts. I sat onthe couch and closed my eyes. I didn’t think I could sleep inthe bed now. The memory of Chris would haunt me, and Iknew I would never be able to sleep.

The doorbell rang and I jumped in surprise. I looked atthe clock on my wall; it was one in the morning. My heartpounded in my chest.

Chris!

Had he changed his mind? Had he come to tell me hewas sorry?

I was shaking when I went to the door. I took one deepbreath before I turned the knob and opened it.My breath caught in my throat. All of a sudden, I realizedjust how lost I’d really felt all those years. And how sad Ireally was. It felt like my world was crumbling! I felt like I’d

lived in Chris’s world for two years, and now I was on myown in the world he molded for me, and I didn’t know howto live there alone. And I needed someone to hold me andtell me that it was going to be all right.

I closed my eyes and allowed myself to be caught byTravis. He enclosed me in his arms, kept me warm as if hewere telling me that I didn’t have to worry. Even if mydeadline was looming over me, I didn’t have to worry aboutanother failed relationsh¡p. He was there. And no matterwhat happened, I would be safe.

He lifted me off my feet and carried me. He settled meon the couch, took off his jacket, and gathered me in hisarms again. I closed my eyes, inhaled his scent, lost myself,and finally…I was able to cry my heart out.