Intertwined episode 29

🤝INTERTWINED🤝

💑EP TWENTY NINE💑

 

I was in shock. I almost didn’t speak to Sarah for the entireduration of our trip back to Connecticut. We went straight tomy old apartment.

It had been months since I last visited it. It was exactlythe way it was when I’d left it. Sarah was kind enough to aska maid to clean it up at least twice a month.

I saw Christian’s spare key on the table. He must haveleft it there when he found out I was getting married. He lefta note for me.

Have a good life, Brianne. I hope he’s what you werelooking for.

Tears rolled down my cheeks. I had a good life, all right.And Travis was everything I wanted and more. But I justdidn’t know what to feel right now.

“The good thing about it is that it’s Travis,” Sarah saidquietly.

“That’s not the point, is it?” I asked in a small voice. “Doyou realize that I was drunk? I was not myself. I couldn’teven remember that night. Travis didn’t seem drunk. Hesigned the credit card slip perfectly well. If it was him…thenhe…took advantage of me.” Tears rolled down my cheeks.

“And he promised he would never do that. Travis is the oneperson I trust. He was the last person I expected to take myclothes off and take me when he knew perfectly well that Iwas helpless to defend myself. And what’s worse…he didn’ttell me.”

“I’m sure he wanted to. Maybe he was just afraidyou’d…react like this. And he was afraid to lose you.”

“We consummated the marriage before we even gotmarried!” I muttered. “And he pretended to be a gentlemanduring our honeymoon.” I wiped the tears from my cheeks.

“You don’t understand, Sarah. If it were any other man, Iwouldn’t feel this betrayed. But this was Travis. He promisedme he wouldn’t touch me, wouldn’t take advantage of me. And I knew how good he was with keeping his promises. Ididn’t expect this from him at all.”

“Before you work yourself up, why don’t you talk to himfirst?”

I nodded.

The doorbell rang. Sarah looked at me wearily. “Well, I’mhere if you need me,” she said. “Brianne, you have toremember that this is Travis. Not any of your pastboyfriends. This guy was everything to you, even when youwere not in love with him.”

Tears rolled down my cheeks. “And that makes it evenworse, doesn’t it?”

Sarah bit her lip and then gave me a hug. “I’ll go. Callme anytime you need me.” Then she went to open the door.I heard her say hi to Travis.

“Hey! Thanks for keeping my wife company,” Travis saidto her.

I didn’t listen to the little chitchat. At the sound of hisvoice, my heart swelled with love, and then, I rememberedwhat he might have done to me before I’d gotten married,and my heart broke. I couldn’t help feeling disappointed andbetrayed.

I was looking out the window. I knew Travis was behindme. Gently, I felt his arms creep around me. He k-ssed thebase of my neck. I bit my lip to prevent myself frommo-ning.

“God, I missed you!” he whispered and pulled me tohim.

I stared up at his handsome face, and I felt the coldfaçade I’d built slowly crumbling down. But then I remembered that he had taken advantage of me. And hehadn’t told me.

He smiled. “I love you,” he whispered. Slowly, he bentdown and gave me a k-ss on the l-ips.

I savored the k-ss. It could be our last, I thought.Tears rolled down my cheeks. Travis stopped k-ssing mewhen he realized that I was crying. He pulled back andstudied my expression.

“What’s wrong, love?” he asked wearily.

I pushed him away from me. “Travis…I’m pregnant!”

He stared at me for a while, and then he beamed.

“Sweetheart, that’s wonderful! I’m gonna be a father. Isn’tthat a good thing? Why are you crying?” He stepped towardme again.

I held my hand up to stop him from coming any closer.

“I’m seven weeks pregnant, Travis!” I said to him. “Weonly started sleeping with each other last week.”

I watched his expression carefully. It went fromcomprehension, to weariness, to a look of pain, and thenguilt. He didn’t have to admit anything after that. I couldread him like a book, too, when he wasn’t so guarded.

“Brianne…” he started.

“Oh my God,” I breathed, shaking my head.

He took a step closer to me. He reached out for myhands, but I pulled them away. “Brianne…please. I didn’tmean for that to happen. But I wasn’t sorry.”

“Why, Travis? You said I could trust you.”

“And you can!” he said. “I’m only human, Brianne. I’dbeen controlling what I felt for you for years. Every day,every night for the last fifteen years I told myself that Icouldn’t want you…because you were forbidden…I could nothave you. Then one night, I slipped! I wasn’t able to holdback. My desire for you was stronger than I was. I let go ofall control!”

“You took advantage of me!”

He shook his head. “I didn’t…or at least, I didn’t meanto…”

“There’s no excuse for what you did, Travis!” I said tohim. “And you should have told me!”

“I got scared. For the first time in my life, I felt afraid. Iwas afraid to lose you…both of you…” He took a deepbreath again. “The you that I have loved like family since Iwas a kid, the one that Tom left under my protection…andthe you that I love with all my heart…the only woman I haveever been in love with! You see, Brianne? There was no

other woman. It was you all along.”

In my mind, I remembered what he’d said to me…I madelove…to an amazing, wonderful woman.

I sat down on the couch. “You still lied to me, Travis. Youwere the last person I expected to do this to me. Wantingme too much is not an excuse for what you did.”

Travis knelt down in front of me and took my hands inhis. He k-ssed them desperately. When he raised his face tome, I saw the tears in his eyes. “I did not only want you.That night, I realized that I was in love with you. That I mighthave been in love with you all these years.” His voice wasfull of pain.

“You sed-ced me. I was drunk! And yet you touched me!I must have been unconscious the moment I hit the covers,Travis. I was helpless! I just lay there…and you took me!”

Travis stared at me, and for the first time that night, Ithought I saw a flicker of anger in his eyes. “I…” He startedto say something. Then he shook his head, stood up andturned away from me.

“What? Tell me! Lie to me!” I said angrily.

“I didn’t lie to you!” he raised his voice. “I would neverlie to you.”

“Yeah! Be smart with me! You just chose to omit the factthat you raped me days before I married you. And howconvenient it was for you! You already had the solution on hand, didn’t you? You were going to marry me anyway. Soyou figured you’d test the merchandise first?!”

He narrowed his eyes at me. “I’d already tested themerchandise a long time ago! Why would I need to do itagain if that was my intention?”

“Then what was your intention, Travis?”

“I wanted you!” Travis said in low, cold voice. He wasangry now, I could tell. But he was trying not to lose histemper. “I tried to stay away from you. I tried to controlwhat I felt. That night…something was different between us!I wasn’t able to stop myself. If I knew…how it would all end,I wouldn’t have touched a hair in your body! It would beeasier for me to take a million cold showers to calm myneed for you than to betray your trust! Surely, you must know that.”

“Apparently, I don’t know you at all! You…were the beastyou should have been protecting me from, Travis! Youpromised me!”

He closed his eyes in anguish for a second. When helooked at me again, I could no longer read the expression onhis face. “Sometimes, you make me choose betweenprotecting you and giving you everything you ask of me,” hesaid. “That night, I was helpless. I realized for the first timehow much our relationsh¡p had changed. I realized what youreally meant to me.”

“And so you just took me? Knowing that I wasunconscious of what you were doing?”

He bit his lip to keep from saying what he really wantedto say. And I felt frustrated because I wanted him to explaineverything to me. I wanted to understand him. I knew him…he was better than a man who would take advantage of adrunk, unconscious woman just because he had lusted forher for so many years. But he just looked down at the floor,trying to control his anger, trying to bottle it all up again.

“You should have told me before you married me!” Ishouted at him.

“I shouldn’t have married you at all!” he roared back.

I felt like he had slapped me when he said that. It hurtlike a shærd of glass piercing through my heart. How couldhe say that?

Tears rolled down my face. He realized that he’d hurt meeven more with what he’d said, but he didn’t say anythingto take it back or deny it. Maybe he really did feel thismarriage had been a mistake from the beginning.

“Did you…do that as part of your plan to win your battlewith your father?”

He stared at me disbelievingly. “What are you trying tosay?”

“I’m saying your father wanted a grandson, didn’t he?Did you take advantage of the time I could not say no toyou? You had to make sure you could get me pregnant, evenif it meant you had to rape me!”

I think that threw him over the edge. He balled his handsinto fists and he turned to the wall beside him, then he gaveit a hærd punch.

“Damn it!” he cursed. “No matter how hærd I try, I losewith you, Brianne! I’m tired!”

Now I couldn’t understand what he was saying. “You’retired of protecting me? Of the silly little girl your best friendasked you to take care of?”

“I’m tired of making things right for you, only to have itall blow up in my face! I’m tired of not getting a single thingright when it comes to you!” he said in a broken voice, whilehe leaned his forehead against the wall he had justpunched.

“Then don’t!” I said angrily. “Just stop, Travis!”

He looked at me coldly. He didn’t say anything, but Irealized how furious he was. Now, I was looking back at thesame Travis I had known many months ago. Cold andruthless.

“Do you really mean that, Brianne? Do you really wantme to stop?”

My heart broke in a million pieces.No! I want you to keep trying! Because I know,somehow, we will get it all right!

I bit my lip. “I…want you to stop fighting fate for me…” Isaid in between sobs.

He closed his eyes once again. He took a few shortbreaths, and then he stared at me coldly.

He headed for the door but then turned to me. “It willsave us both if you remember everything that happenedthat night!” And with that, he stormed out the door.

I felt like all my dreams of having a happy family life hadgone out the door, too. I was too confused and too hurt. Ishould have been happy that it was Travis who’d fatheredmy baby. I should have been happy that there was no otherwoman all along.

But, on the other hand, the bigger part of me that hadcomplete faith and trust in Travis was also crumbling topieces. Travis…the man who would never ever betray me…who would not dare touch me without my consent…whowould rather hurt himself than take advantage of me. If Ididn’t have him to believe, what did I have?

No matter how much I tried to justify his actions, I stillkept thinking in my mind that he had violated me. And itwasn’t like him. Travis would never rape me…or any woman,for that matter. But why did he? If he really meant what hesaid, that he realized he was in love with me that night, thenall the more reason he should have respected me, he shouldhave protected me. And knowing that the only way hewould win against his father was by having a son only made

it more difficult to understand or forgive him.

I could not imagine how Travis could use me like that.And I don’t know how I could trust him after all this! Trustwas the main root of our relationsh¡p. How could our lovesurvive without that trust?

It had been hour, and Travis still had not returned. I waslying down on the couch. I wasn’t whimpering anymore, but it seemed like I had slipped into limbo. I felt like I wasfloating on air. I didn’t make a sound; I lay still. But it wasin,side that I was in turmoil. My emotions were goinghaywire. My soul was broken. My heart was shattered to

pieces. It was like the pillar of strength that I’d had for yearshad crashed down to the ground.

Then suddenly, I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen. I triedto steady myself, but the pain was still there. I fiddled withthe phone and dialed 911.

Then the throbbing pain became sharp, cutting throughmy abdomen like a knife. The pain was blinding, and I wasafraid it would tear me apart.

Then things suddenly went hazy. I remembered beinglifted somewhere. I remembered being sedated. Iremembered being carried into an ambulance. And then…there was nothing.

 

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