Lasting Memory

LASTING MEMORY (episode 19)

© Amah

Kane sat gently on Olivia’s cushion while Mark was sitting opposite him. He was still wearing a straight face pretending to be watching the television
Olivia surprised Kane by asking him
“What can I offer you, water juice, wine or fruits…I know you don’t like taking juice you prefer wine…so should I get it for you…?
Kane looked up at Olivia with his mouth open not knowing how to reply to her unexpected kind gesture. He blinked just to make sure it wasn’t a dream, Olivia waited for Kane to reply but when he remained speechless she said
“I will take your silent for a yes…and get the wine for you because I know you to be a lover of fine red wine…
Olivia brought a wine and a tumbler for Kane who sat looking at her.
Mark was quietly looking at them, he was feeling uncomfortable with Olivia’s attitude to Kane, he swallowed hærd, and sat properly on his sit, he cleared his throat so that Olivia will acknowledge his presence.
Olivia never smile all through this period, she was just on a straight expressionless face, and nobody can tell if she was happy or not. She ignored Mark who repeatedly cleared his throat just to draw her attention.
Kane looked at Mark and saw the jealousy written all over him, he wondered if Olivia was already in a relationsh¡p with the doctor, which made the doctor to be acting all up at his presence.
Kane ignored him and focused on Olivia who went in,side and instruct her cook to prepare something for dinner.
Kane can hear her telling the cook to start evening food immediately.
Olivia returned to the sitting room and called Mark aside, out of Kane’s hearing.
“All that drama outside wasn’t necessary Mark…he was my guest…you should have allowed me to have an opinion if I want him in or not…you shouldn’t make decisions on my behalf…
“I’m sorry Olivia, I thought you wouldn’t want to see him after all he did to you…I was just looking out for you Olivia…I care about your well being…so much. and I never want anything or anyone that will make you sad ever again, I want to protect you from people like Kane…who almost killed you…you passed out for days Olivia…I have never being so scared in my life, I was not myself watching you lay so lifeless in that hospital bed with a life support…you wouldn’t understand how difficult and scary your condition was…your condition was so critical…but I’m glad at the end you are fully back to your normal self…I know I don’t have a say or have any right to dictate what you want but all I did was to protect you…because…I really do care about you Olivia…
“Thank you Doctor Mark…I appreciate everything you have done for me so far…I really do appreciate you…but I need to talk with Kane and it will be better if you leave…Kane is not the devil but his past who’s name was Kaka is the darkness that engulfed me and I was determined to bring that past to book but as you already know it did not end well…I want to have a mature talk with Kane and your presence will be a great distraction…I’m sorry to ask you to leave but I need audience with Kane alone…
Mark felt disappointed, he tried to argue but suddenly stopped. He went back in,side, picked up his car key and drove off. Olivia went in to join Kane who has not touched his drink as he tried to focus on the television but his mind was on Olivia and Mark talking outside before Olivia returned back and sat opposite him, close to where Mark sat earlier before he finally left.
Olivia did not say anything immediately as she tuned down the television volume before facing Kane. Kane dropped the drink in his hand and looked at his sweating palm, even with the air condition cooling in Olivia’s parlor he was sweating in,side. He wondered how to start a conversation as they were both quiet except for his heart beat that sounded like a drum in his ears.
Kane did not want to say or ask anything that will offend Olivia as he continue to stare at his palm and later looked up at Olivia who was staring at him with a frown on her face.
He looked away and breathed down, he wish Olivia could just say something to him, he wish to ask her how she was fairing, plead for her forgiveness continually, ask of Emerald his daughter, who he has not seen for some months, he desire to ask Olivia if she was already in a relationsh¡p with Doctor Mark, he desire to ask her if is possible to give him another chance to right his wrongs, to give her everything and even more than he has ever given before, he wanted to say many things how his life has being so sad and empty without her presence, to tell her that he can’t live without her, Kane wish she can prove to Olivia that he truly loves her far more than anything and anyone, he knows he can’t bring her parents back to life as much as he would have given anything to bring them to life but he can’t because money can not buy life, he wish to say many thing to Olivia but all he did was to look at her and looked away as he saw the heat of Olivia’s eyes gazing down on him.
“Are you going to sit there and stare without saying anything…why are you here…you have not told me why you came Kane…
“i…I don’t know why I’m here Olivia…maybe to see you and to know how you are doing, to know if you will ever forgive me…to know if I will ever have a chance to be in your life again because my life is so empty without you…to know what I have to do to obtain your forgiveness…I’m ready to do anything Olivia, anything possible to have your total forgiveness for all my past sin…please…whatever the cause maybe. If you ask me to bring your parents back to life….that, I won’t be able to do Olivia…I wish I can but I can’t and that is the only thing I won’t be able to do for you but I will do every other thing to be qualified for your forgiveness…I know you warned me never to speak to you about love but I still can’t help it in this situation…I don’t deserve your love or forgiveness but I want to try to earn it…if you will give me another chance…I can never stop loving you Olivia…I can’t…I don’t know if I will be able to live without you…my life will be so void, lonely and empty without you in it…I love you and Emerald more than everything in this world…Olivia….
Kane went down on his left knee and held onto his walking stick as he stood his right knee which he can’t bend due to the damage the bullet left in his kneecap.
Olivia kept a straight face as he watch him struggle to go on one knee while supporting himself with his stick, she felt pity for him because Kane may have to depend on a walking stick for the rest of his life if surgeries did not correct his knee
Kane tries to keep his right wounded leg steady as he plead to Olivia on one knee, Olivia still did not say anything as he kept on watching him
Olivia saw his struggle and his pain as he tries to change his kneeling position which was causing pain on his right knee
Kane loosed his balance and fell to the ground, Olivia gasp as she saw him fall and he tries to get up again
“please sit down Kane, the knelling thing is not necessary nor appropriate considering your condition…please sit and stop hurting your self…whether you knee, sit or stand up to speak to me it doesn’t really matter all that matters is the word not necessary the added action, I try not to hate you because of your past but I hate your past for all it took from me, I try to see you as Kane and not the terrible Kaka that unleashed darkness to my family, I’m beginning to work on myself to accept the fate that life threw at me…is really difficult, I have struggles but I will be alright… while you are sitting under my roof is because I’m letting go of the hate and unforgivness that clouded my mind…I want to see you differently from whatever you use to be but it will take time and distance to achieve that…all the terrible things happening of recent could have being avoided if you have walked on a good path as a young man back then instead trading a peaceful life for gangster and stupid power…if you have being upright in the past, we may not have end up together or have any connection but I’m sure you will live with a clear conscience and I may still have my parents by now… is so hærd to just see you as an ordinary man, is difficult for me counting from the years we have being together and shared so much happiness and love, everything was so beautiful and I was looking forward to spending ever after with you and Emerald but one bad past changed everything and I’m about starting my life all over in a different platform is damn hærd but I will be fine. Kane no matter how bad it is… is so sad that it has to go this way…but I won’t be able to love you like I have always done before finding out about your past…I can’t even love anyone right now…except myself and my daughter… being with you again I will always be reminded of my parents killer, you will remind me everyday with your presence and no matter how I try to let go or forget I will still remember and I may end up hurting even more than ever. Being with an ex murderer, a rapist and an arm robber. I know those are your past man and not who you are any more but I won’t be able to get past who you use to be especially loosing my loving parents to this careless past. I won’t be able to totally let go Kane and that’s more reason I’m letting you go to begin another life and I wish you all the best out there. Please do not argue or plead again because it won’t change anything…my mind is all made up. I hold no grudge or hate against you but there is no “we” any more and there won’t ever be and is not because I have not forgiven you but because I can’t forget…I ca…n’t…forg….
Olivia pause and bent her head, she covered her mouth with her hand as she sobbed silently. Kane’s eye was already soiled as he listened to Olivia, he released all the tears and it rolled down from his face, he stood up with his stick and gently walked up to where Olivia was sitting, he sat beside her and drew her into his arm and Olivia did not hesitate as she went into his arms and they both cried together like wounded babies.
Kane couldn’t speak anymore as he felt so emotional and a lump of sad pain in his throat seeing that he may not have a chance with Olivia again but he was glad to at least have her in his arm even if is for this moment.
Olivia got herself together and straightened from Kane, Kane tried to wipe her eyes with his hand but she stood up and took a tissue box, she came back to sit beside Kane as he gave him some of the tissue to clean his teary eyes as she cleaned hers too.
She looked up at Kane, and quickly looked away
She shut her eyes before saying
“this…is so hærd…so hærd…but I will live everyday at time just as doctor Kate as said…is just so hærd to accept that I will be starting my life all over again without you in it…but is better this way to avoid future regrets and th…
Kane quickly covered her mouth with his, as he k-ssed her, Olivia struggled to get free but Kane held onto her, Olivia later relaxed as she allowed Kane to k-ssed her as if his life depends on it, she responded as they both held onto each other testing each others salty tears as it rolled down from there eyes.
Olivia suddenly broke free and stood up as she cleaned her eyes with tissue, Kane later stood up with his walking stick and gently walked away.
Olivia went to her room and released all the held on emotional tears as she cried into her pillow
Kane sat in his car and couldn’t move as he placed his head on his sterling and cried like a child.
He wonder how he will be able to live without Olivia, how will his life be like without Olivia in it who obviously still loves him but can’t be with him because of his terrible past which may hunt her in the future.
Kane hit his steering hærd in totally sadness as he wish he can undo what he did in the past, rewrite his own story, became reborn again so that he can start a clean path, do anything he can just to have Olivia back to his life.
Olivia got a knock on her room door, the cook came to inform her that dinner was set but she told the cook she wasn’t hungry and don’t feel like eating as she remained in her room without stepping out.


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