Lemonades

lemonades episode 1 & 2

TITLE: LEMONADES

WRITTEN BY: OGECHI ALABI

PART 1
I made some choices which I am not proud of and now I live with them. But then, there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

Let me introduce myself. My name is Esther. I am the first child of my parents and the most senior of four children. My father is an Igbo man from Ngwa in Abia state while my mother is an Ijebu woman from Ogun state.

My parents’ marriage was tough. My father’s parents didn’t want him to marry a Yoruba girl. My mother’s family were also in opposition. I was the reason both families conceded. My father returned to his station in Lagos and got my mother pregnant. My mother went home to her people when she was almost six months gone. There was chaos and within months, they got married.

My paternal grandmother didn’t hide her hatred for my mother. She insisted my mother was a city girl who was wayward and used pregnancy to trap her only son. She fueled many feuds between my father and mother with her baseless accusations and manipulations. My mother initially fought back and it caused further rifts between my parents. Along the line, she became wiser and stopped trying to prove anything to my father. When my grandmother realized my mother wasn’t interested in their bickering or exchange of words, she felt she had won. She didn’t. My parents’ relationsh¡p became stronger and they had three sons after me to the greatest surprise of my grandmother.

When we grew older, we visited the village more often. Grandmother always picks on me.

“That ofe mmanu girl didn’t teach you anything. You cannot pound cocoyam? What does she feed my son?”

“Is that how to sit down? Sit down and close your legs. She shouldn’t initiate you to her waywardness”

“Where are you going? You can’t go anywhere. Don’t you know you are a girl? You stay here out of boys way”

“Why are you making noise? Don’t you know women are only seen not heard? Your mother has failed in her duties”

These and many more were her comments to me. I felt bad each time she picked on me. When I complained to my mother, she told me to be patient as we would leave after a few more days. I hated my paternal grandmother and had good reasons to.

I was an above average student in school which made my father very proud of me. He didn’t hide the fact I was his favourite child as I was the only girl. He displayed this by calling me after his meal where he left behind pieces of meat, fish and stockfish. It was always reserved for me, his princess.

He told me he wanted me to be a nurse. He wanted me to attend nursing school and after my qualifying examinations, he will get me an American husband so I will be comfortable for the rest of my life.

“I want you to make your money and help your husband in training your children. See your mother, she has been a good wife to me. She helped cover my shame when I was without a job and now I have gotten a good job, I will repay her for all she did for me. If it were an Igbo woman, she would have finished me with her words but your mother only prayed for me and planned with me. My mother was very wrong about her”

When I entered senior secondary cl@$$, I met a new student in the school. Emmanuel was a tall and handsome boy. All the girls in school were smitten by him including me. I was also good looking but I wasn’t popular and I was naturally a reserved person. I was open and friendly only when I was with close friends and family.

Emmanuel took a liking to me when I answered a tough question in Chemistry cl@$$. He asked me if I was moving to science cl@$$ in SS2 and I confirmed it. That was our first conversation.

‘What do you want to study?” he asked me.

“Nursing”

“Nice. You are intelligent. Why not Medicine?”

“My father said Nurses make a lot of money abroad”

“That’s nice. I want to study Medicine. Maybe we could be a doctor and nurse couple”

I blushed when he made that comment. Did he just refer to us as a couple? The hottest boy in school was interested in me and I knew if we became a couple, I would become popular. I had to be sure before I made terrible @$$umptions.

The next day, he changed his seat to sit beside me. Emmanuel was very intelligent too. We became study partners in school. We were known and then I became popular. Many of the ‘happening’ girls in school were interested in me because they wanted to get to Emmanuel but what they didn’t know was that he was only interested in me.

In SS2, our friendsh¡p had become even closer than before. We went to each other’s houses and our parents knew each other. He was from a good home (or so I thought). We talked about what we wanted to achieve in life. He had changed his mind about medicine to engineering because he found out he preferred calculations. Our doctor and nurse coupling dream was shattered and replaced with engineer and nurse.

One afternoon, after school, Emmanuel walked me home. He stopped at a street corner and asked that we stop there and talk. It was away from prying eyes and it was fine by me. As we spoke, he professed his affection for me and then ki$$ed me. It was my first ki$$ but I don’t remember how it felt. He told me he had been eager to do this to me from the very first day he saw me.

I was on top of the sky all through that day. I couldn’t wait to see him again the next day. I felt connected to him and I never felt the way he made me feel ever. He was perfect and knew how to make me happy.

The ki$$ing continued for days. It extended to when I visited him. We sought every opportunity to ki$$ and it was becoming more than just ki$$ing. He was touching me in a way which was pleasurable but uncomfortable. I wanted to stop it and ask him to go slow but I couldn’t do that with the way he looked at me.

“I love you. You are so beautiful, Esther. I wish we could spend some time together without any form of distraction. I will show you how you make me feel” were some of the words he said to me. Such words got me more and more involved with him.

The first time we found ourselves alone in my house, he wanted me to take off my clothes in front of him. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t want to be na-ked with him. And also, I was scared anyone would come home and catch us in the act. He got angry and left.

I saw him in school the next day but he didn’t speak with me. He changed his seat. At lunch, he sat with the most popular girl in school and completely ignored me. I felt bad. Within days, my popularity dropped; but that wasn’t my biggest problem. I felt I was also in love with Emmanuel and a day without him was like eternity. I wept when I got home and spent the rest of the day in my room depressed. I lied to my mother that I was ill and skipped school for two days.

Emmanuel came to see me at home after the second day of missing school. He wanted to know how I was feeling. He gave me a letter when no-one was looking which I hid away. When I got back to my room, I read the letter.

Dear Esther,

School has been boring without you here. I am sorry if I upset you by ignoring you. I told you how I felt and we had agreed we would take it to the next level but you refused to follow through. Even though I love you, I cannot be with someone who won’t follow through with whatever we agree on. You are a beautiful girl and I want to love you in ways you can never imagine. My parents will be travelling on Thursday and no-one will be home until 6pm in the evening. We can skip school on that day and be together in my house. I promise you, it will be memorable.

Your love,

Emmanuel.

I smiled as I read each word over again and hung onto the ‘I love you’ part. I was excited he missed me so much that he had to come to the house to check on me. It meant a great deal to me. Even though I still had reservations about the next level, I still wanted to be with him.

The next school day, Emmanuel was back sitting beside me. I couldn’t stop smiling. We exchanged notes in cl@$$ while the teaching was going on. He sent me love notes and I replied to them. It was exciting and I was carried away with the attention he was giving and the fact he chose me out of all the girls in school.

That Thursday, I walked my brothers to school and then I waited at the agreed place Emmanuel asked me to wait. Ten minutes later, he joined me and we walked together to his house which wasn’t too far from school.

We entered the house and truly there was no one at home. He offered me a drink and some sandwiches which we had together. We watched a movie together while he held me in his arms. It was rom-ntic. The mood was being set but being a novice, I didn’t know what was going on.

“Let’s go to my room” he said eventually.

We went to his room. He ki$$ed me and I responded. He tried to take off my uniform but I was reluctant. He got frustrated when I wasn’t bulging and he threatened to leave me there and go away. I didn’t want him to. I wasn’t ready for s-x; I knew what it was. I was insecure about my b©dyand I wasn’t ready to show it to him. I still had small br-asts and h¡ps unlike the girls who threw themselves at him.

I remembered I had once asked him why he took interest in me. He told me, “You didn’t come chasing after me like other girls did. I liked how calm and collected you were. And, you are beautiful. I fell in love the first day I saw you”

Emmanuel made the first move to make me comfortable. He took off his clothes, leaving only his boxers. “Your turn” he said to me. I slowly took off my shirt and had my sl-ip on. I re-moved my skirt and sat at the edge of the bed while I took off my socks and school shoes.

“Come and lie with me here. You will love it, I promise you” he said to me.

I went to lay on the bed with him and in the next few minutes, my life took a turn for the worse. The decision to meet Emmanuel in his home alone and agreeing to lay almost na-ked with him on the bed was the most stupid decision I ever made.

Emmanuel and I were still good after our encounter. It seemed we were closer than ever before. He wanted us to meet in places in school to make out but I refused. I told him it would be a disaster if we got caught in the act. Instead we agreed to meet in our homes when we had the chance. He got his older friend, Gbenga, to allow us to use his place once in a while.

PART 2

I missed my period for two months. I didn’t notice it the first month but I did the second month. I waited for it to come but five days later, it still hadn’t come. I was worried and mentioned it to Emmanuel. He took me to a lab for a test. It was positive. I began to panic. How could I be pregnant? Emmnauel told me it wasn’t a big deal, we could use drugs to get rid of the pregnancy. I agreed. The drugs didn’t work; nothing happened. The next option was a D and C operation which both of us were not financially capable of handling.

Emmanuel told Gbenga what had happened. The guy advised us on how to raise the money. We had to steal from our parents anything valuable which wouldn’t be missed and then sell it for the money. Emmanuel stole his mother’s jewellery and sold it to raise the money. Three doctors we met refused to conduct the operation because I was underaged. Gbenga stepped in. He took us to a hospital in a rural area. The doctor did the operation. I was in pain after the operation. The doctor gave me instructions on how to take care of myself.

I was back to my bubbly self after a few days. Gbenga advised we should only have s-x with protection always so a reoccurrence doesn’t happen. We promised to. He was so understanding.

My period never returned after two months. I had added some weight and my stomach was getting bigger. It never occurred to me it was pregnancy. It was my mother who observed the changes in me and asked me some questions.

“Esther, have you ever been with a man?”

“Ah! No ma. I haven’t been with a boy”

“Are you swearing to me you have never had s-x with a boy before?”

“No ma” I lied.

“Mama Nasiru called me aside today and told me she suspects you are pregnant. She said you have added weight around the tummy and you are not as agile as you used to be. She has been seeing you with a boy at a corner near her street, from her house she can see everything happening at that corner because of the fancy blocks. She has seen you ki$$ing a boy there several times. I ask you again, Esther, have you ever been with a boy?”

I didn’t know what to answer at this point. I kept mute while trying to imagine what my punishment would be. A slap landed on my face while I was still deep in thoughts.

“Is she correct?”

“I only ki$$ed him; nothing else”

“Go and dress up, we are going to the hospital. This girl, you will not kill me”

I got ready with confidence and we went to the hospital. The lab took my blood for a test while we waited for the doctor to see us. We were called in not long after. I was asked to lie on the consultation bed and raise my top. The doctor asked my mother to come closer. He showed her something on my stomach and said, “She is pregnant; this is about eighteen weeks pregnancy”

“I am not pregnant,” I replied. “I can’t be pregnant”

“Esther, you are pregnant. Eighteen weeks can’t be aborted. How could you have done this to me?” my mother wailed as she spoke to me.

“It is not possible. I cannot be pregnant. I am sure I am not pregnant” I kept repeating.

“Why do you believe you are not pregnant?” the doctor asked.

“We aborted the pregnancy. They re-moved it and we didn’t do it again after then” I answered him, still confused.

My mother couldn’t believe her ears. ‘What did you say? You aborted a pregnancy? When? Where? My life is ruined”

There was confusion and mother wanted to know who was responsible for the pregnancy, who took me to abort and the hospital. I knew if I told her, many people would be in trouble. I refused to say a word. My mother descended on me. She beat me to the extent I had bruises all over my body. She told me she would kill me if I didn’t tell her who was responsible at least. I was adamant to keep it a secret a little more until I could tell him and we would know what to do. My mother didn’t mention it to my father yet.

I dressed up for school the next morning and wore a cardigan to cover the bruises and my stomach which seemed to have grown even bigger overnight. I dropped my brothers off and went to school. When I told Emmanuel what happened, he didn’t believe me.

“How can you be pregnant again? Since we had the abortion we have not had s-x again or have you been having s-x with someone else?”

“Emmanuel! What are you talking about? I have not been with anyone else. By the way, the pregnancy is eighteen weeks therefore it cannot be a new pregnancy”

“Are you sure? We need to confirm this. Let us see uncle Gbenga, he will tell us what to do”

Gbenga was perplexed when he heard I was still pregnant. He took us back to the hospital. The doctor asked for a scan. The result showed truly I was pregnant, seventeen weeks. The doctor said it was possible I was pregnant with twins initially and he re-moved only one. Since the pregnancy had advanced and my mother was aware, there was nothing he could do.

Gbenga went on his knees and begged me not to involve him in the matter as he just tried to help. I agreed. Emmanuel also appealed to me too. He accepted responsibility but didn’t want any other person dragged into the matter.

I was left alone to face the music with my mother. My mother asked me who was responsible and I mentioned Emmanuel to her. Emmanuel admitted being responsible. My mother met with Emmanuel’s family. They agreed they will support me until I have the child and then I will go back to school to finish.

“What happens to Emmanuel while she stays at home?” my mother asked.

“He will have to finish school. A child is involved and he has responsibilities”

That night, my mother called me to the sitting room while others slept and said to me, “If I didn’t teach you anything, I believe I taught you to be sensible. How could you have allowed a fine boy cajole you into an action you were not ready for? Who is the loser now? You will have to lose a year of school while he continues. He will not marry you; you were just a play thing. His parents will never accept you as his wife. Now, tell me, where did you go for the abortion and who took you? You could have lost your life in the process and his family is not interested in that aspect”

“We went to a random doctor to do it. I don’t know the name of the place or where it was. I was tired so we took a taxi”

“But he knows the place?”

“I think we just looked around and found it”

“I don’t believe you. I will have to tell your father and I want you to be prepared because all hell will be let loose. I know him. Now his mother will say I transferred promiscuity to you true true. Why did you do this to me? You are so brilliant but don’t have sense. You became a play thing for your mate. No sense at all. God, listen to my prayers and let this cup p@$$ over me”

My father didn’t take the news well. He threw me out of the house. My mother sent me to her sister’s house to stay while she pacified her husband. Unfortunately, that same week his mother came visiting. She aggravated the issue. She brought down the roof. Most of the insults were to my mother who didn’t respond because she believed she deserved it. Her daughter had exposed her na-kedness and there was nothing she could do.

My father was adamant about not having me back. He disowned me. When my mother tried to beg, he threatened to throw her out too. I couldn’t stay too long with my mother’s sister.

“Iya Esther, there are too many boys where I live and I don’t want a situation where rape will be added to the situation. And this place is not comfortable for her either. Why not take her to stay with your husband’s family, maybe she will be comfortable there”

My mother took me from her sister to her parents in Ijebu Ode. She told them everything that happened and begged them to help her with me. My grandmother insisted I continue school there even though pregnant. She talked to me and advised me. She took me in.

Life in Ijebu Ode was different from Lagos for me. Even though I was pregnant, I had to do some chores in the house and help grandmother with the cooking. My mother sent money every month which my grandmother kept for me. My father didn’t know where I was and didn’t care.

My grandfather was a principal of a secondary school before his retirement while grandmother was a teacher. Both of them, even though not rich, were happy. They had other children living with them who their parents wanted them to help train especially academically. I was in the right place as education was their topmost priority.

Also, they were very religious. They were Anglicans and were very active in church. The entire household prayed together morning and night with bible reading. They taught their wards the bible in such a way that conversion to Christ wasn’t difficult.

I was depressed before I came here. I didn’t expect my father’s reaction to my predicament. I almost committed suicide when I was at my aunt’s place. My aunt’s husband made a p@$$ at me. Other guys there were so disrespectful to me and touched me inappropriately. One of them said to my face, “it is now you will enjoy s-x as we won’t be afraid that pregnancy will occur”. My aunt knew but couldn’t do anything about it.

I hated myself. I bought poison to drink but then my mother came and took me away. I travelled with the poison to Ijebu Ode. I didn’t use it because my grandparents made me feel human again. I had always thought them very strict but now I understand their strictness. It was better than what my father and his mother did to me.

Emmanuel had come to visit me during the long vacation as the pregnancy progressed. He came bearing gifts. At least his parents were responsible. He proposed to me and promised to marry me come what may. I neither accepted nor rejected the proposal but asked him to hold on until we finished school to know if this was what he really wanted.

Tbc

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