Memoirs of A Lagos PLAYBOY Episode 27

Memoirs of A Lagos PLAYBOY………. Episode 27 
 
There is no greater sorrow than to recall happiness in times of misery.
– Dante Alighieri
Chloe has been my very close friend, confidant and well…lover for the past two weeks. It was a relationsh¡p of convenience; a friendsh¡p with benefits and without inhibition. She wanted a black guy and I wanted something to take my mind off the events of the previous weeks. For the first time in a long while, I actually had a girl who didn’t want anything from me other than the occasional companionsh¡p which stemmed from convenience and good loving with no strings attached. Ironically, this sort of arrangement which I had sought for my wh0le life was hærdly what I wanted now.
We were at the beach for a party she had insisted I attend with her to get my mind off “things” but I had wandered away and finally ended up at the bank of the ocean. There was something relaxing about the view of the wind-troubled ocean and the car-ss of the rushing cold waters on my feet. It was here also that a reminder of the anguish of loss I felt overwhelmed me. I remembered with vividness, the concern in Christy’s eyes that slowly turned to anger, pain and sorrow as I unburdened my heart to her.
“What do you mean? I don’t understand…” She had said, her eyes wide with fear.
“I mean that I don’t deserve you. You’re the epitome of perfection in a woman. The only place I thought you existed was in my dreams and nothing prepared me for finding you in reality.”
She was speechless and confused and I imagined she possibly couldn’t guess what was coming so I held her hands and made her sit down. She was still wearing an apron over my t-shirt. The house was filled with the aroma of something awesome.
“Chris, you probably know a little about my past…before I met you.” She nodded.
“Well, I haven’t been fair to you. I have been a bit of a rogue recently. I have strayed a couple of times…” I said quietly.
Her hands gradually slid off mine. I bit my lip in regret and cursed Kunle for making me do this. In a funny kind of way though, it was a relief. My amorous adventures were the only barrier left between us.
“I know what I’m going to say is going to shock you and piss you off but I think I should get it off my chest. You may hate me forever but I want you to understand why I was that way and why I did what I did…” I continued but she cut me short. The first time she ever did that.
“Did you have anything to do with Kemi?” Her voice was unrecognizable. Her chest heaved like she was about to erupt like a volcano.
“It would be better if I explained…” But she cut in again.
“Did you or did you not?!” Her voice was a little louder this time. My way with words wasn’t going to get me off this time.
My palms were clammy and I could feel my heartbeat in my throat. I had never been so scared my wh0le life. What I was afraid of then, I was unsure of.
“I did.” I said immediately, eager to get it over with. The moment I said that, I knew we were done. I had never seen her this bitter and angry. The tears rolled down her cheeks as she gave me the look of the betrayed.
“How…how… could you?” She managed to say as she struggled to hold back her tears. It was a massive failure as her body shook uncontrollably as she broke down into sobs. I never felt so ashamed!
I went and sat next to her feeling depression overpower me. Tentatively, I reached out for her – she resisted but without conviction. When I pulled her close, she gave in but not before pounding on my arms several times and breaking down uncontrollably. She was heart broken, as was I. I had never contemplated the consequence of my actions and in her pain, I finally came to terms with the hurt my carefree actions could cause. If Tunde were here, he would not fail to say “I told you so”.
I held on to her while she cried, wishing I had been smarter a long time ago. Finally, her tears subsided and she pulled away from me and wiped her tears.
“Are you hungry?” She asked, still wiping her eyes as she stood. I was dumbfounded by her question. How could she still give a hoot about me after what I just revealed?! I went down on my knees and held her wa-ist.
“Chris, I’m sorry. I truly am…” There were no words to appropriately convey how sorry I was and how foolish I felt. She was a gem. She looked at me with genuine sadness in her eyes but said nothing. I had let her down terribly but I realised I had let myself down more. I had been so caught up in this life that I managed to ruin the good thing I had going.
She left on Sunday morning. I had slept off late on the couch and she awoke me to say she was leaving. When I stood up, I saw her bags and I felt a light go out in,side me. She had apparently packed her stuff during the night. There was nothing I could say – we both knew better to leave the incoherent words that struggled to burst out of our mouths unsaid. I helped her with her bags to the car in silence. After loading her trunk, I asked where she was going. She said “Home” and I nodded. She k-ssed me goodbye and drove off. I stood at the gate and watched till the view of her car disappeared from my sight before I dragged my feet back into my apartment, crestfallen.
It didn’t sink in until I went to the kitchen. She had prepared breakfast for me before she left. She had made me a sandwich with a full jug of pineapple juice. I walked back to the sitting room in a daze and sat down. The privacy of my quiet apartment pierced my machismo and for the first time, I cried.
“There you are!” Chloe’s voice rang in my ears bringing me back to the present. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” I turned and watched her as she walked towards me on the lonely dark beach. She had on shorts and a tank top; her feet were bare. Her blond hair danced to the rhythm of the wind.
“Sorry. I couldn’t resist the ocean.” I said apologetically.
“I understand.” She said smiling as she came into my arms. In silence, we stood and watched the billowing ocean.
It was after I had failed to drown my sorrows in alcohol that I remembered the card she gave me. When I called her, she was surprised to hear from me so soon but hearing my “slurred speech” she could tell I was far gone. She appeared at my doorstep a few hours later. I was still in high spirits when she came in so we talked and talked till I finally passed out. What we talked about, I have no idea. I woke up a few hours later with a crushing headache to find myself on my bed, stripped to my p-nts. The near empty bottle of Jack eyed me from the stand where it stood. I reached out and drained its contents. It was a few minutes past 12am. I staggered out to get a drink of water when I saw Chloe in the sitting room watching TV.
“Hey.” She said brightening up with a smile. “How are you feeling?”
“Terrible. I feel as if some demons are having a party in,side my head.” I said, wincing. She laughed.
“Have some Aspirin. It’ll help.”
“Nah. Water will do.” I said. After I had drank enough water, I went and sat next to her.
“I really appreciate you coming over when I called.” I said thankfully to her.
“My pleasure.” She said smiling sweetly. “So she left huh?”
“Yeah.” I said glumly.
“Awww. Poor baby! Don’t look so sad though. She’ll be back if she really loves you.” She said, holding my face. Her hands were warm.
“I don’t want to get my hopes up. I think she deserves better than me…or Kunle.” I said. She laughed when I mentioned Kunle.
“He still doesn’t stand a chance. Trust me on that.” I merely shrugged.
“You know, I like you.” She said after a while, appraising my bare chest. “You are a softie. I think that’s why the ladies love you.”
“How do you mean?” I asked surprised.
“You’re a gentleman. That’s who you really are.”
“Where did that come from? What did we talk about?” I asked, confused.
“You don’t remember?” She asked surprised.
“I’ve got no recollection. The last thing I remember is sitting on this couch with you. Its all blank after that.” She laughed.
“I guess what you need right now is something to take your mind off this.” She said sed-ctively.
“Yeah?” I asked.
“Yeah. Come with me and I’ll show you.” She said as she rose and rolled her h¡ps towards the direction of my room.
That was how it started. A series of rebound s€× that never filled up the deep h0le that Christy left behind.
@saymalcolm