Memoirs of A Lagos PLAYBOY Episode 28 & 29

Memoirs of A Lagos PLAYBOY………. Episode 28 
 
“But dude, na wa for you oh. Can’t you even stay single without having anything to do with a woman – just for a short while?” Tunde asked me.
“Why should I?” I asked him looking puzzled. “What’s the point? Why should I punish myself?”
Yesterday, we were at Ifeanyi’s birthday party which Ifeanyi had in his usual manner, insisted that we show up at all costs. Tunde and I rarely saw each other these days; most especially as a result of our lives heading in opposite directions. Tunde was preparing for fatherhood while I was…well, still wondering on the course my life was taking. Thus we made it a point of duty to meet there.
Chloe had gone to Calabar to visit Obudu Cattle Ranch with her friends as her time in Nigeria was almost up. She had become so accustomed to me that she always wanted me to accompany her everywhere. We were seldom apart during weekends, probably the reason she was upset when I declined her invitation to meet her up there, though she didn’t press me. Her unexpected visit caused quite a stir at the office on Thursday as tongues wagged all day. When I told Tunde all about the recent happenings, he was thoughtful for a while before he said, “Your life would make a pretty good movie” and I laughed. I was already thinking like that.
“Are you aware that you just may be burning whatever is left of the bridge between you and Christy?” He asked thoughtfully.
“I doubt if she ever plans to use the bridge again. What would you have me do? Sit and mourn? And pine away for the rest of my life on the hopes of regaining a love lost?” I asked.
He was taken aback in surprise and he looked at me curiously.
“Did you just go all Shakespeare on me just now?” He asked, gasping in mock shock and I laughed.
“What the hell are you talking about?” I asked still laughing. He mimicked me comically and I replied with a good natured jab on his shoulder.
“So, na here una dey hold una own witchcraft meeting?” Ifeanyi asked, appearing behind us suddenly. We were at outer lounge of the dance bar where we decided to chill, have a drink and talk away from the loud music that reverberated from the supposed sound-proof building.
“Heyyy, there’s the birthday boy!” Tunde exclaimed rising for a handshake and a hug. I followed suit.
“Where’s your white girl? Why didn’t you bring her?” He asked after I had extended my birthday wishes.
“The rate at which people keep tabs on my business surprises me. Who dey spread my gist?!” I wondered out aloud and they both laughed.
“You were sighted, young man. Seriously, you should have brought her and a couple of her friends. Don’t be greedy man, share the fun. We would all like to sample an intercontinental dish too oh!” Ifeanyi said, nodding at Tunde for support. Tunde denied him.
“Happily married with a kid on the way!” Tunde said, raising both hands to indicate he would have no part in such schemes and we laughed.
“Seriously though, you guys should come in,side. I’ve already got two girls who would like to meet both of you.” He said, pulling me to my feet.
“Are they cute?” Tunde asked, smiling mischievously.
“Thus said the married man!” I mocked.
“You know me now. I’m retired.” He retorted. “If you want the ladies to flock, just introduce yourself as a married man. There’s something about being a married man that attracts chicks like a magnet attracts metal. I’m yet to understand it.” He added.
“I heard that too. We live in strange times, don’t we?” Ifeanyi said concurring as we went into the heat of the action. That was where I met Toksy.
Now, this is the thing about meeting complete strangers at night with nothing but strobe lights lighting your way. When Ifeanyi introduced us, what caught my attention was her shape. She had on a light, tight, multi-coloured, above-the-knee gown that seemed like a tattoo on her skin. The design of the dress bared her shoulders exposing her very attractive clavicle. Her incredible shape was awesomely highlighted and it got me swooning. She seemed flattered by the way my eyes roved shamelessly all over her body. It wasn’t until we started talking that I saw her face – not the fairest of maidens in my estimation. Her eyes were bright and excited, her nostrils were flat and she had this thick l-ips that looked like they were the previous subject of botox injections. Her make up was much…a bit much – always had this notion that ladies who hide behind a thick mass of make-up have something to hide. Her long hair was well worn and gave her a very flashy look but that shape. Mama mia!
We had a brief but meaningless conversation as the music was so loud that I could barely hear myself. She must have figured this too when she eventually gave up and pulled me to the dance floor. From her moves, I concluded that she must have been an accomplished dancer at one time or the other. Her moves were lithe, sensual and highly suggestive and in no time, I started having wild ideas. While she put her body all over me, her eyes spoke in volumes as she taunted and dared me sed-ctively.
She suddenly became the toast of the night as several guys tapped me to have a go at her on the dance floor but she wouldn’t allow any exchange. Each time they tried, she would latch on to me tighter than before while carrying out the most er*t*c and penile-invigorating dances that left no doubt in my mind as to what she had in mind. After a while, she told me she was thirsty so we went over to the bar where she ordered a glass of chapman while I ordered a beer. She led me out of the cool madness that was the dance floor to the humid serenity of the dark night.
“You’re quite a naughty dancer, aren’t you?” I said grinning mischievously.
She gave me a smile that exposed a perfect set of white teeth that shined bright in the surrounding darkness. “And you seem to be comfy with it.”
“I don’t ask for much. I just take what I see.” I said shrugging.
She laughed.
“You’ve got a confident air about you. I suspect you’re quite good with women.” She said winking.
“My, my, my! Am I that easy to read?” I exclaimed astonished.
She laughed. She had a nice laugh. Her soft cle-vage which the nice dress exposed rattled as she did and I thought to myself again, Wow, What a body! We strolled through the numerous cars to where I parked. The huge car park was filled with cars but scanty of people as most of them were in,side dance bar. I leaned on the car as I squeezed my empty beer can and flung it towards the bin that was nearby. She was still sipping her drink and rested her lush body against me as her soft backside connected accurately with the position of my member. The temptation was too hærd to resist as there was a stiffening. My hands gripped her wa-ist and I pulled her closer to feel the pressure.
She turned back at me with a puzzled look in her eye.
“Don’t look at me like that. You must know by now the kind of effect you have on men. I’m totally defenseless against it.” I said sincerely.
She threw her head backward as she laughed, resting fully against me. My hands crept from her wa-ist up to her br-asts; small but firm. I squeezed gently and she jumped away from me.
“You’re really a bad boy. We just met.” She said. She regarded me as if for the first time as she took a sip from her drink.
I knew she wanted me but she wanted to toy with me; she wanted to play games. I had to sed-ce her and at that point in time, I was in a good mood, feeling at the top of my game.
“It would be cruel of you to expect me to be on my best behaviour with a body like that.” I said, licking my l-ips hungrily. I extended my hand and she smiled. As soon as she responded, I pulled her close to me a bit roughly.
“Do you have any idea of the kind of torture you’ve subjected me to in the past hour?” I whispered as she caught her breath.
“Your body is like home. I want to make it mine.” I whispered into her ears. I felt her go limp against me as I k-ssed her neckline to her bare shoulder while my hands moved gently across her body, touching and car-ssing. When my hands got to her backside, I squeezed and she squealed.
“Stop…” She said without conviction but I ignored her. Her breathing had become harsh as my fingers lifted her gown gently and I was pleasantly surprised to find she wore no p-nties. My l-ips grazed her l-ips and she surrendered and k-ssed back with fervor, expanding her legs a bit to ease the probe of my fingers when I felt the vibration of the phone in my pocket. I ignored it at first but when I heard the unique ring tone, my heart skipped a beat.
Toksy was by this time, potty in my hands, willing to do my bidding but my mojo disappeared as if my default button was reset.
“I’m sorry but I gotta take this!” I said apologetically, fumbling for the phone in my pocket as I walked away from her, my boner disappearing rapidly. The caller display showed it was no joke. I answered the phone breathlessly.
“Chris?!”
Hi.” Her voice sounded stiff but it was music to my ears.
“My goodness! Its so good to hear your voice again.” I said without thinking. I missed her badly and I wanted her to know.
“I just called to say hi.” She said hesitantly. My furiously thumping heart fluttered weakly at the tonal undulations of her voice. It was like listening to a symphony. How I had missed its light musical timbre.
“That’s pretty nice of you. I thought you were never going to afford me the luxury of hearing your voice again. How are you?” I asked, my heart busy doing more flip-flops.
“I’m doing ok.” She answered quickly. “How are you?” Her voice was a bit strangled; like she was still battling with herself whether calling me was the right thing to do.
“Well, I’m still alive…desperately hoping for second chances.” I said. She started to say something but paused as she considered my words. My heart rate increased so bad that I felt my knees go weak for a second. I leaned on the car closest to me.
“Chris, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry…if I knew then what I know now, we wouldn’t be where we are now.” I deliberately used the “we”, half-expecting her to sting me with “There’s no we!”; but she didn’t. She seemed to weigh my words over and over again before she spoke.
“Have you found someone else?” She blurted out. The tone of her voice told me this was the crux of the matter; the real reason she called as it felt like she couldn’t wait to get the question out. I wasn’t expecting it.
“Err…no. Not at all.” I said. There was a sigh and a sniff. I had an idea that she had been crying.
“You lying to me again, aren’t you?” She asked quietly, her voice breaking.
“Ouch!” I muttered before I could help it. She was still hurting and I was ready to take whatever she was going to dish at me. I deserved it.
“Are you lying to me?” She asked again.
“I’m not.”
“You’re not seeing anybody at the moment?” She asked again.
“I said I’m not!” I said tiredly with a little of my repressed anger at her total distrust breaking the surface. I calmly reminded myself that she had every right not to trust me.
There was a brief pause. I could hear her soft breathing pattern. Nostalgic memories flooded my brain of a time when she nestled on my chest. It seemed like ages past.
“I hear you’ve easily replaced me with a white girl.” She said with a recognizable tinge of jealousy. I was flattered.
“No. You’re irreplaceable.” I said quietly.
She was silent for a time. It seemed like an eternity before she continued.
“So there’s a white girl?” She asked.
“She’s just a friend. Thanks to Kunle.” I said but I regretted mentioning that snake’s name.
“Kunle? How does he factor into this?!” She asked.
“Never mind. He doesn’t.” I said, knowing she wouldn’t let it rest.
Toksy by this time, had gotten quite impatient and strolled to where I was and tapped me. I made a gesture telling her to be patient and moved further away.
“How did you know it was Kunle?” She asked incredulously.
“How did I…I didn’t know.”
“Then why did you call his name?” She was agitated now. I sighed deeply and I realised I had put myself on the s₱0t.
“Her name is Chloe. She’s a friend of Kunle. I met her through him.”
“What…what is going on?” She asked, shocked. “You’ve been meeting Kunle behind my back? W…wh…why would you do that?” She was almost in tears.
“You don’t understand…” I started but she cut in.
“No! I do understand now. I never should have trusted you, EVER!” She said, her voice turning into a shrill yell as she choked back some tears.
“Chris…” I said, trying to explain but she hung up on me. I wanted to dial back but I decided it wasn’t a good idea. I had never really gotten over the silent treatment she gave me after my forced confession. No human being could remain sane after such a monumental betrayal without some form of closure. This was the first dose and I had a strong feeling that she would call again.
Toksy hovered back into my view. One look at her face and I knew I had lost the moment we were having before the call came in. In a way, I was grateful because my active libido was replaced with an over-excited, thumping heart and an anxiously roving mind; I would have been a great disappointment if I had to force myself to sustain the moment.
“Are you g-y?” She asked suddenly, breaking my thoughts. I was so shocked that for the first few seconds, my mouth was agape as I struggled to find an appropriate response.
“What?! Why the hell would you even think that?” I asked, deeply offended.
“Chris called you…and you talked to him like he was a woman…a lover.” There was a funny expression in her eyes like she had caught me in a lie. It was infuriating!
“I…you…Chris…” I stammered, unsure of where to start from.
“Oh, forget it!” I said angrily and walked away from her and headed back into the bar and ordered a drink. The party was at its apogee as everyone was in high spirits with the DeeJay doing a terrific job much so that everyone sang along to Davido’s “Gobe”. Ifeanyi and his girlfriend Irene were getting it on at the middle of the dance floor with a large circle of bodies urging them on. I searched around for Tunde but he was no where to be found. I concluded he must have left a long time ago, especially when he didn’t see me.
I was still sitting at the bar with my can of beer when Toksy came back in. She sat next to me and watched me with a renewed interest that annoyed me. I was tempted to shout “WHAT?!” over the loud music but I thought better of it. I needed to head home. I needed to think; my mind was in such turmoil.
“Its nothing to be ashamed of.” She whispered, leaning so close that I could feel the tickling s-nsation of her hot breath on my ear.
I looked at her in dismay, totally short of words which were useless in here anyway. She really thought I was g-y! I washed down the contents of my beer can and decided to call it a night. Ifeanyi was surrounded by lots of party animals; he wouldn’t notice my absence. I totally ignored Toksy and headed out to my car but the girl wouldn’t let me be. She followed me behind calling out to me.
“Why are you so angry? Did I do something wrong?” She asked surprised but I ignored her. I just wanted to leave but she was persistent. She knocked on my windows as I was about to pull out of the lot till I had to roll down.
“I can’t believe you asked me that useless question!” I said angrily.
“I’m sorry for my assumption but I happen to actually like g-ys and bi’s…” She explained but I cut her off.
“I’m none of that!”
“Then why are you about to drive out just like that?” She looked genuinely confused. I struggled to force out a coherent answer but none came. I stared at her for a while until I realised I didn’t owe her any explanation. I rolled up my window and drove off.
The drive from the bar to my house was relatively peaceful. The roads were empty and devoid of much activity. The streetlights gave every where a brilliant ambience that helped to relax me. I got home a few minutes before 11pm and as I drove in,side the compound, I was surprised to see a familiar white Honda Accord parked in my space. I wondered why the may guard didn’t tell whoever owned the car that it was my space. I parked close to it and stepped out, using my eyes to search for him. The compound was dark and noisy – thanks to PHCN. The weather was hot, too damn hot. I was going to need my generator if I was going to sleep at all tonight. As I moved toward the little wooden contraption that housed my generator, I heard a familiar voice that made me turn cold.
“Hey handsome.”
 
@saymalcolm