MEMOIRS OF AN UGLY GIRL
By HSR* 📝📝📝
*TUESDAY JANUARY 22nd*
– *Diary entry –29*
The dizziness isn’t completely gone yet- I draw in a deep breath, letting it out slowly.
I leave my room and make my way toward the living room.
Suddenly at the sight of Elijah, my heart thumps wildly.
He is sitting next to my auntie and Sherister, my uncle is nowhere to be seen.
I smile faintly at him, ‘Hey what are you doing here?’
‘How are you?’ he ignores my question
‘I am fine,’ I mumble
He looks at me with a raised brow.
‘You don’t look so great.’
I am about to respond but auntie Naomi cuts me short.
‘Zendaya hun, please get our guest some juice,’ my auntie smiles
I shoot her a hard look wondering why she is suddenly being so nice.
‘Don’t just stand there, get him something to drink.’
‘No ma’am I am okay,’ Elijah responds
‘Oh you don’t have to call me Ma’am, just call me Naomi,’ she smiles
I glance over at my auntie then back at Elijah, ‘I think its best we talk from outside.’
A small smile plays across his lips then he stands up.
Is it a mocking expression or genuine amusement, I just can’t read him.
Anyway that aside!
‘Thank you for your hospitality,’ he smiles at auntie
‘You are more than welcome anytime, it’s just sad that you have left without eating anything.’
‘I am fine like seriously, I just had my lunch before coming here.’
‘Okay, hopefully next time you come without eating so you can eat something from here.’
Elijah laughs, ‘I will definitely do that.’
Ignoring auntie’s curious eyes on me, i follow Elijah out.
We make our way to his car which is parked in front of our gate and as usual he opens the passenger door for me.
I slip inside and sit down with my heart feeling like it is going to beat out of my chest, suddenly my head is spinning and my hands are slightly trembling.
A minute later, he enters the driver’s seat, ‘Hey!” he holds my hand
I silently stare at him.
‘Are you okay?’
I just nod before I close my eyes patiently waiting for this little phase to quickly pass.
I open my eyes a few minutes later, feeling a little better.
‘Are you sure you are okay?’
‘I keep having dizzy spells,’ I respond
He pulls a small box from his pocket, opens it and hands me two big pills and a bottle of water.
I take a swig of water and swallow the two pills.
We lapse into silence for a short while.
‘So what are you doing here?’ I ask again, sounding meaner than I intended
He frowns, ‘Are we back to square one?’
I laugh, ‘maybe.’
‘Anyway I don’t know what you mean about being back to square one, what are you seriously doing here?’
‘I came to see how you are doing and from the look of things you don’t seem to be fine.’
‘I am fine Elijah.’
‘You are not. Don’t even try to argue with me.’
I shrug, ‘Whatever.’
‘Zendaya, you seriously drain me, anyway what’s up with your auntie?’
‘I don’t know, maybe she likes you,’ I laugh
‘That’s not even funny.’
‘You don’t have to call me ma’am, just call me Naomi,’ I imitate her
Elijah tries so hard not to laugh but he can’t help the burst of laughter that escapes him.
‘See you like her too.’
‘Whatever!’ he rolls his eyes
‘So I got you this,’ he hands me a strawberry banana Smoothie
‘Awwww,’ I scream, ‘You are simply the best.’
I suck in a huge mouthful of it, ‘This is bae.’
‘And I got you something else,’ he says
‘I think I should be getting sick all the time so I can start receiving a variety of gifts.’
‘Okay you must close your eyes. No peeking, promise.’
‘Just close your eyes.’
‘How can I be sure you won’t kidnap me?’
‘Just close your eyes, please.
‘Fine. My eyes are closed I can’t see anything.’
‘I am not peeking I promise.’
I cover my eyes with my hand anxiously waiting.
‘1, 2, 3, 4, 5. You can open your eyes,’ he says.
I open my eyes to find a box on my laps.
‘Ah!’ gasp in surprise, like dude just got me a Samsung Galaxy Note 7.
‘Earth to Zen!’ He clicks his hands in my face. I just zoned out staring at the phone.
‘Is this mine?’
‘OMG, Elijah!’ I exclaim
‘You are welcome.’
I remove the phone from the box and loot at it, this is an expensive phone.
‘I can’t accept this,’ I say after a while before placing it back in the box.
‘It’s too much, where will I find the money to pay you back?’
He smiles, ‘You don’t have to pay me back this is a gift.’
I shake my head,’ No.’
‘I don’t expect you to pay me back like seriously, please take it.’
‘That’s my girl,’ he smiles
I smile back at him.
I stare at the phone for what seems like the hundredth time and my heart melts, just then my eyes glisten with tears which I try to blink away but I can’t.
‘Are you crying?’
I sniff, ‘Pardon me, my emotions are all over the place, I am not used to this, the only person who has ever showed me genuine kindness is Koko and now you……,’
‘Shh!’ he cuts me short before he pulls me close to him and embraces me in his arms.
I cry on his shoulder as he gently runs his fingers through my hair trying to soothe me.
‘I’ve got your back Zendaya! From now onwards know that apart from Koko, you have me.’
His voice sounds sincere, maybe I can trust him.
‘Forgive my manners,’ I smile after I pull away from him.
‘Why are you this kind to me?’ I ask as I wipe my face with the back of my hand.
He looks at me with such intensity that it catches me off guard.
‘I love you,’ he says softly
My heart turns over in my chest, I don’t know how to respond to what he just said to me, wait did he just say he loves me or maybe I was just imagining stuff.
‘I love you Zendaya!’ he says again as if reading my mind.
‘Oh lord!’ he just said it again, I didn’t just imagine it the first time. He said he loves me twice, what am I supposed to do at this point, oh my!!
I am having a mini panic attack inside no man has ever said those three words to me.
‘Zendaya!’ he waves his hand in my face
‘You look like you have seen a ghost. Are you okay?’
‘Sorry for zoning out again, I think I don’t feel well again, I need to lie down,’ I quickly say
He laughs, you don’t feel well.’
‘Well ya, I think my head is spinning again, thanks for visiting but I need to get back inside.’
He holds my hand just as I am about to open the door, ‘Zendaya!”
He laughs louder
I am not looking at him so he puts a hand under my chin and forces me to look at him.
‘Breath, I just said I love you I didn’t say I was going to kill you.’
‘Anyway, I am will see you later I also need to rush back to school.’
‘Don’t forget this, he hands me the phone and my medicine.
‘Take care,’ he leans in and quickly kisses me
‘Okay bye,’ and with that said I am out of the car and into the house.
– *Diary entry –30*
‘Zendaya?’ Auntie calls my name as soon as I walk into the house.
‘Can I talk to you?’
‘I urgently need to pee, I will be back shortly,’ I turn and head towards my room before she can protest.
I get to my room and close the door behind me.
Whatever auntie has to say can wait, right now I need to process what happened in Elijah’s car.
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly before a smile spreads across my lips.
Elijah says he loves me and he wasn’t even joking I know he meant it I could see it in his eyes.
Well I don’t think I can ever admit this out loud but I feel a certain way about him too especially after that kiss we shared, my heart can’t stop racing and I can’t seem to get the butterflies in my belly to calm down.
‘Oh lord!’ I bit my lip at the realization that I might be falling for this guy, I swear it’s just so easy to fall for Elijah, he has been so good to me even when I tried to push him away he is always here, well maybe I could give him a chance but wait, he is my lecturer…….
A soft knock at the door interrupts my thoughts.
Auntie walks in, she has this angry look on her face.
‘I have been waiting for you.’
‘Sorry, I forgot.’
She shakes her head, ‘I see.’
A long awkward silence fills the room, I can see auntie is staring at the plastic on the bed, I don’t even know why I forgot to hide it- this will definitely bring problems for me, I don’t even know what she wants to talk about, honestly I am not in a mood for her tantrums I have important things to attend to right now.
‘So you wanted to talk?’ I ask breaking the silence
She looks up at me,’ Yes.’
‘That man who was here, who is he?’
‘Of course I know his name is Elijah, he introduced himself earlier, I wanted to ask if you guys are an item.’
‘What do you mean an item?’
She clicks her tongue, ‘Is he your boyfriend?’
‘Oh that,’ I smile. ‘No, he is just a friend.’
‘Nah,’ I lie, I don’t want her to know he is a lecturer at my school, my auntie is dramatic she can cause trouble for him and i.
‘Oh, where do you know him from?’
‘Why the 99 questions?’
‘I just want to know.’
‘No offence but I don’t think this is any of your business auntie, Elijah is a friend and he just came to check up on me or am I not allowed to have friends anymore?’
‘Okay that aside, can you please give me his number?’
I raise my eyebrows in surprise, ‘huh?’
‘His number, there is something I would like to enquire from him.’
‘I am sorry auntie I can’t give out his number.’
‘It’s just not right for me to give out his number.’
‘I knew it.’
‘You are sleeping with him.’
I laugh, ‘I am not like you and Sherister, I don’t sleep around with…..’
My sentence is cut short when she slaps me hard across my face.
‘You don’t ever say that to me again,’ she screams
‘Seems you have grown wings, I bet it’s because of that young man you are sleeping with. What lies has he been feeding you? Wait let me guess,’ she pauses ‘He says he is in love with you and only has eyes for you, he will love you forever blah blah!’ she laughs
I look at her and shake my head wondering why she is so bitter about everything.
‘Men lie my dear Zendaya, wait do you think a man like Elijah would want to be with someone like you, have you taken a good look at yourself lately? You are ugly baby girl don’t let him tell you otherwise, he just wants to use you and once he is done he will run.’
I know what she is trying to achieve right now, she wants me to take her words to heart like I always do, that way my self esteem will be low and I will push Elijah away, well that won’t work today, I won’t give her that satisfaction.
I smile, ‘ok.’
‘I am only looking out for you because I don’t want you to end up like Viola.’
‘What has Viola got to do with all this?’
‘She started like this too, that girl was good at pretending but eventually her true colours came to light, getting pregnant, running away from home, showing up months later just to dump you. The apple doesn’t fall far from its tree I see you repeating her mistakes.’
‘I am not Viola and I can never be her. Never!’
She laughs, ‘So you think,’ she turns to leave
‘Wait a minute.’
‘Now that I think about it, I think you are right.’
‘History might repeat itself.’
‘I knew it. You aren’t different from that filth.’
I laugh, ‘History will repeat itself yes but not through me.’
‘What are you saying?’
‘Your daughter Sherister seems to be following in her auntie Viola’s footsteps.’
‘How dare you?’ she raises her hand to slap me I hold it before it gets to my face.
‘Don’t make this a habit auntie.’
‘I don’t know why you can’t give me some air, why are you always on my case?’
‘Because you are a bastard and you don’t deserve anything good happening to you.’
‘I don’t have the strength to argue anymore I just want to rest now.’
‘Wait till Steve gets back and hears about you bringing men into the house,’ she smiles
‘What will he do that he hasn’t done already?’
She clicks her tongue and heads for the door. She looks at me one last time before she walks out slamming shut.
‘Oh lord!’ I shake my head before I throw myself on my bed, this woman drains me, I haven’t seen someone this bitter and frustrated.
AnywayI miss Koko though, I haven’t really been myself since she left, it seems like a part of me is missing, I want her to come back, I seriously need someone to talk to and Koko is the best person to talk to, she is genuine I can always trust her with my secrets.
Oh and now that I have a phone I think I should call her, wait I need to look for my sim card first.