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Memoirs of an ugly girl batch 28

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Memoirs of an ugly girl

THURSDAY*

*August 10th*

– *Diary entry –46*

Dear Diary,

 

‘OMG. He kissed you!’ Angie exclaims on the other end of the line, I just called her to tell her about Mel.

‘Yes.’

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‘Tell me everything,’ she squeals

‘There is nothing to tell.’

‘Don’t be such an old woman.’

‘I am telling Koko you said she is boring.’

‘You are dramatic.’

I laugh

‘Tell me about it, is he a better kisser than Elijah?’

‘No, no, no! We aren’t going that route.’

‘Fine.’

‘So he came to pick me up a few minutes ago because we were supposed to go out for dinner.’

‘And?’

‘I told him I couldn’t go with him.’

‘Why?’

‘I have a lot on mind I just need time to think.’

‘What happened next?’

‘He asked to talk to me for a few minutes and I accepted, he confessed he likes me.

‘Oh My God! I knew it.’

‘You did.’

‘Yes, haven’t you noticed how he looks at you?’

‘Guess I have never paid attention.’

‘Dah!’

‘So I told him I would think about it, I stepped out of his car and just when I was almost walking into the house, he pulled my hand, spun me around and kissed me.’

‘Ah!’ she screamed

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‘Shut up.’

‘Did you kiss him back?’

‘No.’

‘Why?’

‘I was surprised he freaked me out, I just ran into the house.’

‘I feel like am watching a movie.’

‘You have issues Angie.’

‘What are you gonna do?’

‘I don’t know Elijah is leaving tomorrow.’

‘What does your heart say?’

‘Elijah is my first love, you know how I feel about him but what he did really hurt me, Mel is a great person, I enjoy his company, he makes me laugh.’

‘Follow your heart baby.’

‘That’s what Koko said.’

‘At this stage none of us can decide for you.’

‘Adulthood sucks.’

‘You can say that again.’

‘Don’t rush into anything, you take your time and think about who you really want to be with.’

‘Thanks.’

‘You are welcome.’

There is a brief silence for a second.

‘Tsup.’

‘I was just thinking.’

‘About?’

‘Mel and Elijah.’

‘What about them.’

‘I love Elijah even though he is a bum, you guys make a cute couple, Mel is funny, he makes you glpw can’ you date them both!’

‘Angie.’

‘You don’t have to tell them.’

‘You are a fool.’

‘I was only trying to help.’

‘By telling me to be a whore like you?’

‘Look who’s talking.’

I hear a click sound in my ear.

‘Cut the line for me I have another call coming.’

‘Dah.’

‘I am gonna call you back soon.’

‘Fine.’

‘Later baby.’

‘Call me back.’

‘I will.’

She ends the call then I answer the incoming call.

‘Zendaya!’ The familiar voice says on the other end of the line.

‘Mrs. Mariano, how are you?’

‘I am good my girl, how are you?’

‘I am great.’

‘So I have some good news for you?’

‘Shoot.’

‘One of the girls I mentored a few years back is having a workshop on self worth and she wants to empower five young girls realize their potential…,’

‘Ok.’

‘Yes so I have forwarded your name and I have told her you are good at writing, all you have to do is forward her a sample of your writings and attend the seminar on Saturday.’

‘Wow.’

‘I know right.’

‘But will she like my writings?’

‘Don’t doubt yourself hun, just do as I say and pray over it, God is about to open doors.’

‘Thank you very much.’

‘You have so much potential Zen, I believe in your ability to grow and become the very best of you.’

I smile, ‘I am grateful.’

‘So I have two tickets, pass by tomorrow and get them, invite a friend.’

‘Thank you.’

‘I will text you her email address soon.’

‘Okay.’

‘Later.’

As soon as she hangs up, I get to work, I have been working on a short story and basically it’s centered a my life, all I need is to just edit it a bit then it’s good to go, it isn’t complete though, I just hope she likes it.

At midnight I email my story and decide to call it a night.

I don’t sleep well though, I turn and toss restlessly I have a lot of stuff on my head.

 

****

Friday

August 11th

13:00

 

Mel has been calling and texting me none stop, like can’t he give me some breathing space.

Our last class of the day has just ended Christine was in a foul mood the whole time I guess she is sad because Bae is leaving.

Speaking of Elijah, I still haven’t decided what ama do with him guess I will just let fate sort this out for me, if we are meant to be we will find our way to each other.

Angie and I walk out of the classroom to the library I practically have to drag her there, this girl hates studying but this is our final semester so we can’t be lazing around.

 

I am busy studying when I notice Angie playing with her phone I grab it from her and put it in my bag.

She frowns.

‘Study time,’ I whisper.

She shakes her head and starts studying though she keeps yawning, this girl is dramatic. After about two hours or so we leave the Library and she drives us to Mrs. Mariano’s house where we get the tickets for the seminar.

After we leave Mrs. Mariano’s house we drive to the mall where I treat Angie to some nice and expensive food.

Before we leave I buy some food for Koko and everyone else at home.’

‘Don’t cook. I am bringing food,’ I text Koko

‘Okay.’

I get home around 19, I am dead tired I just want to lie down on my bed and pass out.

‘Hey Koko.’

‘Hey baby.’

I greet the girls and Sherister.

‘How was your day?’

‘Great.’

‘Let me set the table.’

‘Okay.’

I set the table and invite everyone.

‘You are not eating?’

‘No Koko I am full.’

‘Okay.’

‘I think I better go and rest I have a busy day tomorrow.’

‘Night baby.’

‘Night.’

 

*****

Saturday

August 12th

07:00

I wake up to the sound of my alarm clock, I roll out of bed and quickly rush for the bathroom, the seminar starts at 8:30 I don’t wanna be late.

I take a quick bath and step out of the bathroom then I slip on my clothes.

I am wearing a grey knee length pencil skirt with a pink silk blouse and high heel peep toe sandals.

When I am done I style up my hair and apply some make up on.

Afterwards I stand in front of the mirror, ‘I am a work of art- a work in progress,’ I excitedly say

‘Angie is here!’ Koko shouts

‘I am coming.’

I sling my bag over my shoulder, grab my phone and walk out of my room to the living room.

‘Girl girl!’ she exclaims

‘Tsup Bitch.’

Koko gives me the evil eye.

‘I meant to say Bestie.’

‘Huh?’

‘Koko she is lying.’

‘Shut up Angie.’

‘Breakfast is ready.’

‘We will grab something on our way.’

‘Suit yourselves.’

‘Bye.’

‘Enjoy your day my darlings.’

‘You look hot.’

‘Thank you Angie smiles,’ she is wearing a yellow figure dress with nude heels, her makeup is on point as usual.

‘You look good too,’ she says before she drives off.

We get to Best Western plus GreenSpring Grand Hotel 10 minutes past 8, we are directed to the conference room where we show them our tickets and they let us in.

There are other women already in, we find ourselves some seats and settle in.

As we wait for the program to start we take a few photos together.

 

At about 8: 40 they ask us to be up standing as a tall and very curvy woman walks in, she is wearing a knee length burgundy dress that hugs her curves perfectly. She has taken her weave down so it falls around her shoulders. He make up is perfect and the heels on her feet look amazing.

‘Please be seated,’ the MC says

We all sit down the place isn’t as crowdie as I thought it would be, the women in here are less than 100.

‘Hello,’ she says standing in front of us.

Some hellos spread through the crowd.

‘I thank you for coming through my names are Jessie M. Miller, ‘Mrs.’’ she smiles

‘I am a lawyer by profession, I am a singer, I am an anti bully advocate, I am a minister of the gospel, I am a mentor and I am also the founder of Women Global empowerment fund.’

‘She is pretty,’ Angie whispers

‘I know right.’

She kick starts the seminar by telling us about her life.

‘When I was in grade five, I began to notice that I was bigger than the girls in my class. I grew up always comparing myself with other girls, they were prettier and thinner. As if that’s not enough, i was bullied by the self acclaimed pretty girls, ‘she says

I am listening attentively because I can see myself through her.

‘In High school I was depressed to the point of attempting suicide but thank God I am still alive.’

‘You are crying?’ Angie whispers

I didn’t even notice I had tears in my eyes, I quickly wipe them

Jessie goes on to tell us all about her struggles as a fat kid and how she eventually overcame them and became who had always wanted to be. She also tells us about one can rise above the negativity around them, she talks about self esteem too and one can boost their self esteem.

 

‘You are fearfully and wonderfully made all of you. I know being bullied is traumatizing, I know there are days when you want to end it all but please hang in there this too shall come to pass. You are perfect the way you are because God makes no mistakes, you are his masterpiece and he loves you,’ she concludes

Suddenly the whole crowd bursts into applause.

I am overwhelmed with emotions, her story has touched the deepest part of me, I hope someday I get to be this confident, I hope someday I stand in front of a crowd and tell my story.

THURSDAY

August 10th 2017

– Diary entry –46

Dear Diary,

 

‘OMG. He kissed you!’ Angie exclaims on the other end of the line, I just called her to tell her about Mel.

‘Yes.’

‘Tell me everything,’ she squeals

‘There is nothing to tell.’

‘Don’t be such an old woman.’

‘I am telling Koko you said she is boring.’

‘You are dramatic.’

I laugh

‘Tell me about it, is he a better kisser than Elijah?’

‘No, no, no! We aren’t going that route.’

‘Fine.’

‘So he came to pick me up a few minutes ago because we were supposed to go out for dinner.’

‘And?’

‘I told him I couldn’t go with him.’

‘Why?’

‘I have a lot on mind I just need time to think.’

‘What happened next?’

‘He asked to talk to me for a few minutes and I accepted, he confessed he likes me.

‘Oh My God! I knew it.’

‘You did.’

‘Yes, haven’t you noticed how he looks at you?’

‘Guess I have never paid attention.’

‘Dah!’

‘So I told him I would think about it, I stepped out of his car and just when I was almost walking into the house, he pulled my hand, spun me around and kissed me.’

‘Ah!’ she screamed

‘Shut up.’

‘Did you kiss him back?’

‘No.’

‘Why?’

‘I was surprised he freaked me out, I just ran into the house.’

‘I feel like am watching a movie.’

‘You have issues Angie.’

‘What are you gonna do?’

‘I don’t know Elijah is leaving tomorrow.’

‘What does your heart say?’

‘Elijah is my first love, you know how I feel about him but what he did really hurt me, Mel is a great person, I enjoy his company, he makes me laugh.’

‘Follow your heart baby.’

‘That’s what Koko said.’

‘At this stage none of us can decide for you.’

‘Adulthood sucks.’

‘You can say that again.’

‘Don’t rush into anything, you take your time and think about who you really want to be with.’

‘Thanks.’

‘You are welcome.’

There is a brief silence for a second.

‘Tsup.’

‘I was just thinking.’

‘About?’

‘Mel and Elijah.’

‘What about them.’

‘I love Elijah even though he is a bum, you guys make a cute couple, Mel is funny, he makes you glpw can’ you date them both!’

‘Angie.’

‘You don’t have to tell them.’

‘You are a fool.’

‘I was only trying to help.’

‘By telling me to be a whore like you?’

‘Look who’s talking.’

I hear a click sound in my ear.

‘Cut the line for me I have another call coming.’

‘Dah.’

‘I am gonna call you back soon.’

‘Fine.’

‘Later baby.’

‘Call me back.’

‘I will.’

She ends the call then I answer the incoming call.

‘Zendaya!’ The familiar voice says on the other end of the line.

‘Mrs. Mariano, how are you?’

‘I am good my girl, how are you?’

‘I am great.’

‘So I have some good news for you?’

‘Shoot.’

‘One of the girls I mentored a few years back is having a workshop on self worth and she wants to empower five young girls realize their potential…,’

‘Ok.’

‘Yes so I have forwarded your name and I have told her you are good at writing, all you have to do is forward her a sample of your writings and attend the seminar on Saturday.’

‘Wow.’

‘I know right.’

‘But will she like my writings?’

‘Don’t doubt yourself hun, just do as I say and pray over it, God is about to open doors.’

‘Thank you very much.’

‘You have so much potential Zen, I believe in your ability to grow and become the very best of you.’

I smile, ‘I am grateful.’

‘So I have two tickets, pass by tomorrow and get them, invite a friend.’

‘Thank you.’

‘I will text you her email address soon.’

‘Okay.’

‘Later.’

As soon as she hangs up, I get to work, I have been working on a short story and basically it’s centered a my life, all I need is to just edit it a bit then it’s good to go, it isn’t complete though, I just hope she likes it.

At midnight I email my story and decide to call it a night.

I don’t sleep well though, I turn and toss restlessly I have a lot of stuff on my head.

 

****

Friday

August 11th

13:00

 

Mel has been calling and texting me none stop, like can’t he give me some breathing space.

Our last class of the day has just ended Christine was in a foul mood the whole time I guess she is sad because Bae is leaving.

Speaking of Elijah, I still haven’t decided what ama do with him guess I will just let fate sort this out for me, if we are meant to be we will find our way to each other.

Angie and I walk out of the classroom to the library I practically have to drag her there, this girl hates studying but this is our final semester so we can’t be lazing around.

 

I am busy studying when I notice Angie playing with her phone I grab it from her and put it in my bag.

She frowns.

‘Study time,’ I whisper.

She shakes her head and starts studying though she keeps yawning, this girl is dramatic. After about two hours or so we leave the Library and she drives us to Mrs. Mariano’s house where we get the tickets for the seminar.

After we leave Mrs. Mariano’s house we drive to the mall where I treat Angie to some nice and expensive food.

Before we leave I buy some food for Koko and everyone else at home.’

‘Don’t cook. I am bringing food,’ I text Koko

‘Okay.’

I get home around 19, I am dead tired I just want to lie down on my bed and pass out.

‘Hey Koko.’

‘Hey baby.’

I greet the girls and Sherister.

‘How was your day?’

‘Great.’

‘Let me set the table.’

‘Okay.’

I set the table and invite everyone.

‘You are not eating?’

‘No Koko I am full.’

‘Okay.’

‘I think I better go and rest I have a busy day tomorrow.’

‘Night baby.’

‘Night.’

 

*****

Saturday

August 12th

07:00

I wake up to the sound of my alarm clock, I roll out of bed and quickly rush for the bathroom, the seminar starts at 8:30 I don’t wanna be late.

I take a quick bath and step out of the bathroom then I slip on my clothes.

I am wearing a grey knee length pencil skirt with a pink silk blouse and high heel peep toe sandals.

When I am done I style up my hair and apply some make up on.

Afterwards I stand in front of the mirror, ‘I am a work of art- a work in progress,’ I excitedly say

‘Angie is here!’ Koko shouts

‘I am coming.’

I sling my bag over my shoulder, grab my phone and walk out of my room to the living room.

‘Girl girl!’ she exclaims

‘Tsup Bitch.’

Koko gives me the evil eye.

‘I meant to say Bestie.’

‘Huh?’

‘Koko she is lying.’

‘Shut up Angie.’

‘Breakfast is ready.’

‘We will grab something on our way.’

‘Suit yourselves.’

‘Bye.’

‘Enjoy your day my darlings.’

‘You look hot.’

‘Thank you Angie smiles,’ she is wearing a yellow figure dress with nude heels, her makeup is on point as usual.

‘You look good too,’ she says before she drives off.

We get to Best Western plus GreenSpring Grand Hotel 10 minutes past 8, we are directed to the conference room where we show them our tickets and they let us in.

There are other women already in, we find ourselves some seats and settle in.

As we wait for the program to start we take a few photos together.

 

At about 8: 40 they ask us to be up standing as a tall and very curvy woman walks in, she is wearing a knee length burgundy dress that hugs her curves perfectly. She has taken her weave down so it falls around her shoulders. He make up is perfect and the heels on her feet look amazing.

‘Please be seated,’ the MC says

We all sit down the place isn’t as crowdie as I thought it would be, the women in here are less than 100.

‘Hello,’ she says standing in front of us.

Some hellos spread through the crowd.

‘I thank you for coming through my names are Jessie M. Miller, ‘Mrs.’’ she smiles

‘I am a lawyer by profession, I am a singer, I am an anti bully advocate, I am a minister of the gospel, I am a mentor and I am also the founder of Women Global empowerment fund.’

‘She is pretty,’ Angie whispers

‘I know right.’

She kick starts the seminar by telling us about her life.

‘When I was in grade five, I began to notice that I was bigger than the girls in my class. I grew up always comparing myself with other girls, they were prettier and thinner. As if that’s not enough, i was bullied by the self acclaimed pretty girls, ‘she says

I am listening attentively because I can see myself through her.

‘In High school I was depressed to the point of attempting suicide but thank God I am still alive.’

‘You are crying?’ Angie whispers

I didn’t even notice I had tears in my eyes, I quickly wipe them

Jessie goes on to tell us all about her struggles as a fat kid and how she eventually overcame them and became who had always wanted to be. She also tells us about one can rise above the negativity around them, she talks about self esteem too and one can boost their self esteem.

 

‘You are fearfully and wonderfully made all of you. I know being bullied is traumatizing, I know there are days when you want to end it all but please hang in there this too shall come to pass. You are perfect the way you are because God makes no mistakes, you are his masterpiece and he loves you,’ she concludes

Suddenly the whole crowd bursts into applause.

I am overwhelmed with emotions, her story has touched the deepest part of me, I hope someday I get to be this confident, I hope someday I stand in front of a crowd and tell my story.

Zen.

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