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My crazy Housewife batch 5

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👰MY CRAZY HOUSEWIFE 👰

(she’s psycho 😂 and troublesome 🙆)

written by Eunice Nwodu 📝

🔥

Episode 9

🎲STEVE🎲

I pity Tessy. She has no idea I’ve been taking online classes.

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Since I’d be divorcing her soon when the baby comes, I’ll travel around the world alone and I need to be prepared for anything.

I’ll be able to cook the way I want it and how I want it😁

Tessy and I took what we needed from the fridge.

I took some fresh peppers, ginger and many other ingredient for my meal.

I went to my own side of the kitchen and started chopping the onions.

I’ll make hot beef stew and steak.

🍜I dropped my pot on the burner minding my own business.

I wonder how Tessy is doing with her own food😒

🎲TESSY🎲

I bit my thumb watching Steve move his hands like an expert.

I didn’t prepare for this.

What do I cook?

Hmm.

I decided to make beef stew, the same dish hubby is cooking.

I grabbed everything I needed…

Argh…

What’s missing?

I stared at the stuff before me.

I don’t think anything is missing.

I started cooking 😁

Too bad I didn’t have time to write a list if what I’ll do with Steve’s money after I win it.

Anyway, that’s not a problem.

….

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“Ouch!” I exclaimed when the onion i was chopping starts to affect my eyes.

It stings and weakens my eyelids.

I couldn’t see a thing as tears filled my eyes.

Steve held me.

“Relax” he said and lifted my face.

I could see him but it was blur.

He rubbed my eyes gently and blew softly into it. My eyes cleared and I could see him clearly now.

So sweet of him to help me.

Our faces were close and our eyes locked.

geez, why do I feel strange?

He came closer…

I could feel it.

His lips were almost on mine when the pot starts to hurl.

We moved away from each other and looked at the pot that was dancing on the gas.

It’s even my pot!

I rushed to it and quickly reduced the pressure.

🔥

🎲STEVE🎲

I returned to my stew and tasted it.

wow… so good.

I turned off the gas.

all I have to do now is to go and have a bath and put on something nice.

i’m so going to win..

I turned to look at Pregnant pepper who was still turning her stew.

I chuckled quietly.

She should get ready to be laid.

I left the kitchen.

🔥

🎲TESSY🎲

I watched Steve leave the kitchen.

I ran to his pot and opened it.

Jesus!

The sweet aroma filled my nose.

🙆

So Steve can cook?

I took a spoon and scooped a little so he won’t notice.

I tasted it.

It tastes so good..

😭 😭 he’s going to win…

What do I do?

What ingredient did I miss?

He’s surely going to punish me for every prank I’ve played on him.

I closed the pot and went to mine.

What do I add to make it as good as his? 😭

I added more pepper and spices.

I stirred it and tasted it.

I think it’s better except my tongue is burning from the pepper 😮

I ruined it…

He’s going to have his way…

I sighed and closed my pot —

🔥

🎲STEVE🎲

“Ready wifey?” I asked Tessy as she came downstairs after bathing.

“No…

“Let’s leave the contest. I broke my wrist and I think I have headache” she said wincing.

Seriously?

I scoffed

Liar😒

“How can you back out now? What’s wrong?… Afraid I’ll beat you? Are you suddenly now a chicken” I asked teasing her.

She grunts in a funny way and I think it’s really cute.

What will our baby look like? 😇

“Fine…” She said and carried her food.

I smirked and carried mine.

I can’t wait to screw someone.

We left our duplex to the next house.

It’s a fat woman with four kids leaving their. Her husband is a commissioner whatever.

She smiled on seeing us.

She’s friendly but there’s one thing about her I don’t like, she likes Tessy’s hair.

“So do you wash it every day? – both night and day?” She asked Tessy beaming.

“Yes ma’am” Tessy replied blushing.

This lady might take her side…

“Okay, that’s enough discussion. Taste both food and tell me the one you like best” I said dropping it on her dinning table.

She took a spoon and scooped from Tessy’s plate…

“Mmm, so much pepper” she said and drank some water.

Tessy the queen of pepper 😂

The lady scooped from mine and tasted it.

“Oh my goodness, so delicious!” She commented taking another scoop.

I grinned.

One neighbor’s vote, two to go…

Episode 10

🎲STEVE🎲
We went to the neighbor’s house. I had no idea who lived there.

Tessy seemed less bothered.
Is she comfortable am winning her?
Maybe she wants me to😁

She rang the doorbell and a tall guy stepped out.
He stared at Tessy with lovey eyes.
Does he have a thing for my wife??

Tessy smiled.

“Hi Brandon” she said blushing.

Oh geez,

They know each other?

“Hey Tes.” The asshole said to her. He then looked at me.

“Hi” he said trying to shake me.
I just stared at him sternly.

He brought down his hand and chuckled like an idiot.
“Um.. Sorry to bother you B. I just need you to do something for us. Taste the two beef stew and tell us the one that tastes better” Tessy said.

“A couple cooking game. Cute” the Brandon guy said and took a spoon.

He tasted mine and shrieked.
He shook his head…
Then he tasted Tessy’s own.

“Wow…so good. I love yours Tessy. 100%” he said smiling broadly.

Tessy smiled.
“Thank you B.” She said smirking.

This is cheating!
They know each other and the guy seems to like her!

Anyways, one more neighbor to go.

I looked at the two and saw Brandon trying to hold Tessy.
Does this guy value his d-ck?

I quickly took her hand from his and held her possessively.

“Okay we’re done here. C’mon wifey” I said taking her along as we left for the next neighbor’s house.

🎲🎲🎲🎲AT THE NEIGHBOR’S HOUSE

“soo good, I love to eat food with so much pepper” the woman said after tasting Tessy’s own.

I think Tessy’s going to win 😭… I won’t have her in bed–

The woman tasted mine and squealed.
“So goodddd! its so tasty” she said.

Huh?
Who’s she standing for?

“But ma’am. Which one do you like best?” I asked.

She smiled.
“I can’t choose…they both taste good and yummy. I don’t have a winner” she said and i frowned.

Seriously?

“Try ma’am. You must have a winner” I pressed.

She shook her head.
“You both did a great job. Everyone is a winner 😇” she said.

I felt like emptying the remaining stew on her head.

After all the stress, we have a tie. How annoying.

“Let’s go home hubby. Nobody won” Tessy said and I knew she was happy.

😒 I miss Vanessa.

🎲🎲🎲🎲AT HOME

“This is not fair Tessy. Let’s do it like this…I give you half of the money and you give me half of the day” I said to Tessy who was loading her tummy with cereals.

“Hmm…” She said like she was thinking.
“If we do it like that, I’ll be like a prostitute” she said…

I sighed.
“Am going to Vannesa’s house, be back in an hour” I said taking one of my car keys.

“What???” I heard pregnant pepper yell from behind.
I stopped and turned.

“If you want call my mom, I’ll tell you’re keeping your p–sy to yourself” I said.

She came to me.
“You can’t tell her that. She’ll be mad at me” she said lowly.

“Well, what do you want me to do? I’ve been starving myself for weeks now. It has to end. If you’ll not let me have you then you let me have others!” I blurted.

She sniffed and starts to cry.
Seriously?

“Why are you so harsh on me? 😭 😭
Do you think it’s easy for me?
You raped me and got me pregnant and you’re still complaining?!!” She said crying.

Fake tears😒

“At least before you go.. You carry me upstairs to my room. My head hurts so much” she said sobbing and I start to pity her.

She’s pregnant for God’s sake…
Why did I shout at her?

I carried her in my arms and she wrapped her legs around my torso. She buried her head on my chest and held me while I had my arm on her waist and the other on her butt.

She sniffed and sobbed as I went up the stairs with her.

I got to her room and dropped her gently on the bed. She pulled my arm and am forced to lie beside her.

I cleaned her tears and she stopped crying and stared into my face with those puppy eyes of hers.

She’s cute but annoying
Beautiful but God damn troublesome
Pretty but psycho.

But that doesn’t make her less of a person and mostly doesn’t make her less of my wife💗

I smiled watching her look at the picture on my T shirt – spongebob squarepants.

“Tessy, you can have all the money in the briefcase” I mumbled.

“Really? All of it?” She asked suprised.

I nodded.
She batted her lashes.

“It’s too much… I don’t need it… What will I do with–”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to spend it all now…just know it’s yours” I said.

She smiled.
“Okay, thanks…” She muttered.
She stayed well and we were very close now.

“Um…hubby , let’s do it..” She whispered.

“Do what?” I asked lost.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To be continued 💘💘💘
Awwn 🙈🙈

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