MY MOTHER IS A VIRGIN
While mama was trying to recover from the dirty slap Mr. Bayo gave her, he ordered other
inmates to go while mama was asked to stay back. Mama and Mr. Bayo were left alone in his office. He headed straight to the door, jammed it and began to force mama unto her back.
Everything that happened between mama and late Bayo was recalled in a flash.It was like
history will repeat itself again. Mama will never break her vow, not with a prison warder. The
struggle started again like the day Bayo died. ‘Sir,don’t do this to me I beg you.Thiswas exactly
what brought me to the prison;don’t allow history repeat itself sir. I beg you in the name of God;
seem easy our own daughter who wants to keep her dignity at all cost. Don’t defile me sir, I
have a vow not to give away my virginity to any man but my husband. ‘On hearing mama was
still a virgin he pushed harder to have her. Then another tragedy. struck again. Having succeeded
in getting mama down on her back, mama gathered all her strength for a push and pushed him
away so that his head landed on their on burglary. proof of his office door. He fell down and
began to bleed. Mr. Bayo screamed in pain and all the female inmates rushed out from the room.
The scene was not different from what happened on the day Bayo died.
Immediately the ladies composed a song, “Funmi don kill Mr. Bayo”. Loudly they began to chorus it to get her until other male inmates heard and two other prison staff came into meet Mr.
Bayo in the pool of his blood. Mama was whisked away while Mr. Bayo was rushed into the
prison clinic. Three hours later Mr. Bayo was out of the clinic with bandages and stiches on his
head, he made it.
Mama was moved from Kaduna prison to Kuje prison. Additional 5 years was added to her
prison term for attempted murder. Her case became more complicated because the Inspector
General of police was interested in her case. Within a year mama was moved from Kuje prison
to three prisons in Nigeria.
Inmama’sentirep redicament,she held firm to her decision never to give away her virginity. Mama got closer to God not with standing.
Why is mama’s virginity more important to her than her life? Why did she give up everything just
to keep her virginity? Was it just that she wanted to keep her dignity or her desire to keep her virginity for her future husband? Who will marry mama after she’s through serving her jail term?
Mama was 22 when she was jailed and her first jail term was 20 years an additional 5 years. She
will be 47 at the end of his jail term. Who will marry a 47-year-old woman who has spent her
prime years in prison?
Men are the same everywhere. Every prison mama was moved to; there was an attempt to take advantage of her at one point or the other. Mama’s beauty was irresistible. Even as a prisoner
her beauty still glowed. Mama suffered many things from many prison staff as she was moved from one prison to the other. Mama became a prayer warrior and a woman of strong faith. Even as she grew old while in
prison she never stopped believing her virginity will be a gift to her husband. At mama’s 42nd
birthday, the prison fellowship organized a small birthday party for her. In attendance were
some members of PFN (Prison Fellowship of Nigeria).When mama was invited to give her
birthday speech, everyone in the meeting was moved to tears. Her speech made everyone
speechless. Her boldness and oratory gave everyone reason to want to listen to her again. The
director of social welfare was present at the meeting where mama gave her heart lifting speech and she was really touched. She promised to come back for mama. With the permission of the prison authority mama was given an invitation to speak at a
work shop organized by the department of social welfare for destitute and ladies suffering from
the trauma of rape and s£xual abuse. She didn’t just give a speech she also preached to her
audience about the reality of God’s love. Many of her audiences submitted their lives to Christ
after mama’s speech. Mrs. Bala Hauwa became so much in love with mama and paid her a visit
every week in the prison.
Mama’s virginity was so important to her because of a story her mother told her. The story of
the three virgins who kept their virginity at all costs and against all odds. They brought pride to
their village when moral decadence was at it’s peak. Only the three of them were found to be
virgins in the entire village when they needed some virgins to perform some sacrifices to avert
the wrath of the gods in the land. The king of their village and the entire villagers were proud of
them. They were honoured and publicly celebrated for seven days after which they were given
scholarship to study abroad in any University of their choice. It was this gesture that brought the
families of these girls out of obscurity to limelight. Mama was moved by this story and vowed to
make her mother proud too either alive or death.
Mama found favour through the help of Mrs. Bala and she was released at 43. Mama spent 21 years in prison instead of 25years. As at this time her beauty had depreciated due to age and
what’s he went through in prison. But at 43 mama was still a virgin, she kept her promise. The
shame of what happened in the village that led to mama’s imprisonment did not allow her to
return to the village. After a year in prison, no one from her clan visited her. She lost contact with
her family and the people of Adale village.
Mrs. Bala became the angel in mama’s life journey. Mrs. Bala took mama to Lagos and got her a
job as a house help in general Fayemi’s house. Mama couldn’t get a better job for lack of
education even though the prison had shaped her and she could speak fluently but she can
hardly read or write. Everyone in General Fayemi’s house loved mama because her lifestyle was
just different-so dedicated to her work, very prayerful and full of life.
In general Fayemi’s house, mama met a Sergeant who had an eye on her. Sergeant Musa was
one of general’s boys who were newly posted to Lagos from Bauchi. Sgt Musa was a perfect
gentleman that was not married even in his mid-forties. One thing led to the other and they both
started seeing each other.
Mama as was her practice, had told Sgt Musa ‘NO s£x UNTIL OUR WEDDING DAY.’ ‘I am a
Christian as well and I know fornication is a sin against God. Having a s£xless relationship is a
deal’. Sgt Musa assured mama. For his gentility and uprightness, mama fell in love with Sgt
Musa. All the men she had met all her life had at one point or the other attempted to take
advantage of her but Musa was different.
Because of their age, both Sgt Musa and mama didn’t have a prolonged courtship.
Within three months, they began to make plans to settle down as husband and wife. Mama was about
making another mistake of her life. What mistake is that?
*_Every young man and woman reading this story must learn not to go into marriage with anyone without knowing his/her people no matter how much in love they are._* Mama never wanted to
take Sgt Musa to her village because of the story that surrounded her life’s journey, neither was
Sgt Musa also interested in taking mama to his people because there was something he was
hiding. Their lives were like two cows of the same colour finding each other. Mama didn’t bother
about Sgt Musa’s people neither was Sgt Musa interested in mama’s people. General Fayemi
became the bride’s father and the groom’s father at the same time. Mrs. Bala stood for mama
as a mother.
It wasn’t a loud wedding. From the registry to a mini-reception at the officers’ mess. Few
soldiers and some friends were in attendance and within two hours it was all over. Typical of the
military, Sgt Musa was on duty on the night of his wedding. He did not give the army a formal
notice of his wedding because he never wanted a big wedding.
Another lesson I want all my sisters reading mama’s story to learn is to beware of men who are
wealthy but choose to have a quiet wedding. I had asked several questions why mama had to
go through all that she went through in life. Why do good people suffer while bad people get a
better lot in life. Mama is too nice to undergo all the sufferings she went through, coupled with
the fact that she is now born again. Is it a crime to be chaste?Is it a crime to want to keep your
virginity for your husband? What could mama have done wrong?
By 7 pm on their wedding day Sgt Musa was already kitted in his army uniform getting ready for
work. Mama protested mildly, I thought we should be together today being our wedding day?’
‘Haaa, Mrs. Musa Funmilayo, this is military work and you will soon get used to it.’ Before mama could argue further her husband was gone. Of course it wasn’t a big deal to mama. By the time Sgt Musa came back the following morning tiredness and fatigue was written all over him. What
will you take for breakfast, mama asked her husband. He barely answered when he suddenly
Life is just unfair to some people. Some are not been rewarded for being good while some seem to get away with the evil they do. If anybody should not suffer in life, it should be mama but it was only a wish. She had wasted over two decades behind bars. She married at the age *her mates had stopped given birth just because she* wanted to do what was right before God and
man. Other ladies who threw away their dignity for a meager price are doing well. What has mama done wrong? Mama’s marriage is a definition of “from frying pan to fire”