MY MOTHER IS A VIRGIN
After a week of their wedding mama was still a virgin. Her husband had not had time to touch
her and make her a woman. Mama was a novice and was indifferent too. She had no one close to her who could guide her on what is expected of husband and wife. Only Mrs. Bala kept
checking on mama. Those visits were too short for her to notice her daughter is still a virgin
after weeks of her marriage. All the time Mrs. Bala visited she never met mama’s husband at
home. The last visit that broke the camel’s back was seven weeks after. Mama became worried
that her husband had not touched her after seven weeks but she lacked the courage to confide
in her god mother.
‘I would have invited you as one of our guest speakers in our annual retreat organized for
deportees but you don’t need much stress now at this time, Mrs. Bala told mama.’ But what stress is in speaking to people? Mama replied. Mrs.Bala gave her a strange look; she looked straight into her eyes,touched her by the shoulder and asked “aren’t you feeling different in your body?” Mrs.Bala was trying to investigate if mama was already pregnant. ‘Feeling how ma?’
Mama asked. Then Mrs. Bala asked “are you pregnant?”.Mama paused for some seconds and replied with a heavy sigh. ‘Why did you sigh that way? Is anything the matter Funmi? You know you can confide in me,’ Mrs. Bala told mama. Instead of her words to explain her predicament,
her tears did it. Mama busted into tears, Mrs. Bala came close, ‘tell me my daughter was is it?’
My husband has not touched me since we got married; in fact I’m still a virgin.Mrs.Bala
screamed in amazement,’ what? She immediately controlled her emotions and began to ask
mama some questions.’
Mrs. Bala gave mama an hour lecture and prepared her to make the first move when her
husband returned back from work that night. Like she was taught, she prepared his favourite
meal and got him to take a cold shower after meal. Their bedroom was decorated with a nice
fragrance with the bed looking attractive. Sgt Musa thought it was as usual as he climbed the
bed to sleep then mama dragged him close to her and whispered to him “make me a woman.” In
shock and confusion, Oga was speechless. But the handwriting on mama’s face showed she
won’t take a no for an answer today. Mama did all Mrs. Bala taught her but her husband was not
responding. All her efforts didn’t yield any positive result that night. Mama went to bed still a
Life is full of irony. Here is a woman whom men had begged and forced into having s£x with
them all her life begging her own husband to make love to her after several weeks of her
wedding. It was difficult for mama to explain to Mrs. Bala what transpired between herself and
her husband after the one hour lecture given to her. Her virginity she kept and fought for all her
life is now useless. The virginity she kept as a surprise gift for her husband on her wedding night
is being rejected by the man she kept it for. The same virginity that cost Bayo his life what an
irony. The price mama paid on her virginity became worthless. Her years of suffering in jail
began to cause her pain. Maybe I should have given it to those who desperately desired it’, mama thought.
What is happening to mama’s husband?
Why has he not taken the gift kept for him for many years?
What is the value of virginity to a married woman? Hi naz and will add you to ONLINE STORY SERIES for more updates 0546444111
Mama had made the most terrible mistake of her life. Her husband is an impotent man. ‘Please
cover my [email protected], I’m not a real man,’ Sgt Musa begged mama as she insisted he either make her a woman or she leaves. Mama wept all through the night. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you
are not complete before taking me to the registry?You are a wicked man, you’re self-centered
and evil.’ Mama rained insults on her impotent husband. ‘I know I have offended you my love but
please find a place in your heart to forgive me. I have never told anybody about my challenge
except my mum.’ He was on his knees all through the night begging mama.
What a trial of faith for a woman of faith. If mama is your sister what will you advice her to do
after sacrificially fighting all her life to keep her virginity for her husband? Now her husband has
no hand to take the special gift from his wife. This is a case of giving out a precious gift to a
man whose hands are amputated and giving nothing to a man whose hands are willing to
receive the gift. The case of mama and her husband was like giving meat to a toothless dog.
As a good christian what will mama do after keeping herself all these years only to marry to a
man who deceived her into marriage; an impotent man who cannot do to his wife what other
men do to their wives in their inner chamber. Should she walk away on the basis that he lied to
her or on the basis that he is an impotent man? Or she should stay with her husband and keep
trusting God for a miracle? Don’t forget mama is already 45 and approaching menopause. If she
walks away can she remarry?
Sgt Musa did not allow mama to lack anything. Before she asked, he had provided. He had a
large savings because he was the last born of his family and he had no one to cater for. His
siblings were comfortable and could take care of their aged parents without asking him for any
contribution. He gave mama a good life but she was not a fulfilled woman. The good life meant
nothing to mama without a future. Her life was more miserable than when she was in jail. The emotional trauma began to steal her joy of salvation. Mama who used to be a vibrant Christian
became lukewarm. The pride of her virginity became worthless and useless. Mama’s life was a summary of calamities in calamities.
Will mama backslide?
Will she walkaway?
Will she stay by her husband?
What is her hope in this marriage?
Who did mama offended? Why is she always entering into trouble?
Why did God allow her marry an impotent man after years of right standing?
*_Many unanswered questions_*
Mama being a woman of faith accepted her fate in good faith. The first year of her marriage
was characterized with constant quarrels and fight. What will you do for a woman who waited
for the right man for over 40years that will make her happy without her feeling the man as a woman? Those who says s£x is not important in marriage should ask mama what she went
through being in a s£xless marriage from day one of her marriage. Her hope of raising godly
seeds became an unfulfilled dream. Who will make her pregnant when her husband is impotent?
Will mama commit adultery to have her own children? I’m mama’s daughter yet my mother is a
From mama’s story I realized everybody must not have a normal destiny. What is normal is
defined by your understanding of life. In life, some run their race using legs, some bicycle, some
use motorcycle; others use car and some use aircraft. Those who use legs and those who use
aircraft will all arrive at their destinations at the time appointed by God. Some people’s
destinations are very far hence they need an aircraft while for some; it’s just a stone throw that requires their legs to get there. It may seem as if the man on the aircraft is enjoying more than
the man trekking but what is important to heaven is whether they both reach their destination or
not. Mama’s life’s journey was tough and rough but I must confess she reached her destination.
In life, it is needless comparing your life’s journey with others. Mama moved on. Her lack of
education posed a big challenge to her destiny but thank God for an angel like Mrs. Bala who
found a treasure in mama and decided to believe in her. No matter how much you are hated or
rejected, destiny will always position someone to believe in you, that person was Mrs. Bala. She
pushed mama until the best came out of her; mama became a blessing to her generation. Many
people have everything they want in life but they are never fulfilled. Mama was far from getting
all she wanted but her contributions to human development gave her a fulfillment money and
material things could not give her. Her faith became stronger again; her love for her husband
was restored back in spite of him being impotent and life began to have meaning again. Mama
drew strength from God daily; her busy schedules made her forget her sorrows by the day. God
in his infinite mercy and grace gave mama unusual strength from the inside. She worked closely
with Mrs. Bala all through.
On the 23rd of July 1995, the police invited Mrs. Bala and her team to evacuate a baby
abandoned by the roadside by an unknown mother. Mama was there when the police officer
called her office. ‘Mrs. Musa, I have an emergency I must attend to now, Mrs. Bala told mama.
Why can’t I go with you?’ Mama asked Mrs. Bala. ‘Of course if you are willing we can go together. They quickly jumped into Mrs. Bala’s official Peugeot 504 and zoomed off.
It was a beautiful baby girl. Mama on seeing the way the baby was exposed to the cold couldn’t
hold back her tears. Her tears moved everyone around to tears. Mama’s tears were tears of a childless woman who needed a child desperately, having seen another woman throwaway such a precious gift in this manner. She wept bitterly. No one in the company knew why mama’s tears
was that bitter except Mrs. Bala. Life was an irony indeed.
Mama begged Mrs. Bala to allow her adopt the baby. ‘That won’t be a problem if your husband
will subscribe to the idea, ‘Mrs. Bala assured mama. Mama left the scene to her husband’s
office. Dear we need to talk and it is urgent.’ What is so urgent that can’t wait for another four
hours when I’ll be through with work?Mama’s husband protested.’ No it can’t wait; we have to talk now as she began to shed tears. ”Okay, give me five minutes I will be with you.’ He left and
came back in five minutes. They moved away to the parade ground and mama told her husband
about the abandoned baby and her interest for abduction. ‘That is a good idea that doesn’t
require my approval, you should have gone ahead. I’m in full support, what do you need now for the adoption? Mama’s husband asked. ‘Only your passport photograph and I will take care of
the rest.’ With the help of Mrs. Bala the process was a walk over.
The joy that the baby brought to the family was beyond explanation. Mama was proud to be a
mother after all hope was lost. The joy that visited mama and her husband brought excitement
and bliss to their union again. The baby was named on the eight day with a big celebration more
than their wedding day. The baby was named after Mrs.Bala, she was named Hauwa Deborah.
There were a lot of side talks as adoption was not as popular then as it is today. Nobody gives
respect to adopted children in those days. Adopted children were seen as second class in the
society but thanks be to God for mama’s firmness and crusade for adoption that gave adopted
children same rights with other children. Mama held many town hall meetings and seminars giving orientation to families who are waiting upon the Lord to adoptachild. She used Mrs. Bala
and other influential friends to push a bill in the national assembly that gave equal rights to
adopted children. She encouraged and aided many families in adopting a child. Through mama’s
crusade many elites began to adopt children rather than dying childless. Those who had one
child adopted more and those who had one set of gender adopted the gender of children they didn’t have etc.
Most of the motherless baby’s homes around Lagos became almost empty. All the children
were all adopted. This became mama’s major work althrough her life.
Nigerians, as they began to see the business of adoption as lucrative and many people
began to open orphanages, making desperate waiting parents pay heavily just to adopt a child.
It was not a big deal for the rich; they could afford any amount to have a child. Unfortunately the
poor in the society was left out because the amount for child adoption skyrocketed within a
short period of time.
Those who mocked mama and her husband when they adopted a child are bowing at her feet today.
_EPISODE SEVEN(Final Episode)_*
The child that was adopted in 1995 is a first class material, a qualified surgeon from the prestigious Oxford university. The stone that the builder rejected has become chief cornerstone. Those who thought their children were first class citizens have some of their
children roaming the streets of Lagos while Hauwa Musa is bringing glory to the name of her
family all over the world. Hauwa Musa had no permanent job because no hospital or any organization could afford her. She is currently a consultant with about fifteen world class clinics
and teaching hospitals. Her monthly income is in thousands of dollars.
When a man is poor, he looks for his family members but when he is successful, his family
members look for him. Who would have believed my mother’s people from Adale village could
still look for her? Everyone wants to be associated with success. God had put a smile on my
mother again. As young as am, I am a multi-millionaire within one year of my being active in my
field. It’s true that “the race is not for the swift nor the battle for the strong”.
Like mama promised to make her mother proud, I promised I will make my mother proud too.
My greatest pain today is that daddy did not wait to eat the fruit of his labour. He died a year
before my graduation from the University. May his soul rest in perfect peace. Mama together
with Dad gave me the best in life. They went into many things to train me as a medical doctor.
When my dad died, many army officers came around to help but they were not genuine, they
wanted something in return. As big as daddy’s gratuity was, mama lavished it on my education.
She didn’t buy even a plot of land from it. Mama has a golden heart. She went to bed many
nights without dinner yet she ensured I lacked nothing.
Mama is over seventy, yet she is still a virgin. All her life she never knew a man. I’m proud of my
mother. There is no sacrifice that will go unrewarded. Today mama is resting in the States
where everything is available for her. All she does now is to pray, eat, sleep, study and have fun.
If you want to see a fulfilled woman, visit my mum in Atlanta Georgia. Even at her age she still
looks fresh and her beautiful is still traceable. Poverty makes people grow old but peace of
mind and money make them younger. Mama is looking younger everyday.
The joy of all these is that mama is an epitome of a virtuous woman. A Christian without a
blemish. Mama is awaiting rapture and if God prolongs her life, her enjoyment will continue in eternity.