November 29, 2021

My Sexcapades in the north episode 6 – 7


~My s£xcapedes in the north~

Epi 6
** 😮 Chisos!!! 😮 WTF!!!**

I was shocked but I tried not to show it. So many questions were running through my head unanswered. ‘What the f*uck was this babe doing here?’ ‘Why didn’t she call to tell me she was coming?’ ‘What the hell was Johnson (the banker) doing back home at this time of the day anyway?’ ‘How the hell am I supposed to explain this to Zainab?’ ‘How the f–k am I supposed to get Chisom out of this house right now?’

The questions kept popping in my head with no available answer. The die was already cast. The only solution that popped in my head was damage control. **Damage Control Mode Activated**

Previously, Chisom had suspected me of cheating. She confronted me and I vehemently denied it. Now she was confirming her suspicions (or so she thought). Zainab had never suspected (or confronted) me, and she was still going to be very much ~around after Chisom had passed out from her service to the country. So I had to protect her interests in preference to that of Chisom. From my experience with damage control, never lose both ways.~ And I was determined to do just that.

Chisom came in and greeted us. I didn’t respond warmly as I used to. She ~noticed and just went inside. Meanwhile I was still fixing the generator. Zainab asked who she was and I told her she was a friend. ‘Just a friend?’, she asked. ‘What else would she b~ e before :-\’, I replied with a look on my face. I asked her to wait for me that I was coming.


I got inside, I realized that even a new born baby would know what had previously occurred in the room. The room was not arranged and the bed was in a ‘post straffing state’. Hey, I didn’t expect anybody, so why should I have made it after Zainab and I straffed. Besides we were still going to continue. I realized she knew this so I had to prepare a counter-defence that would repel her attacks.

I met her inside pressing her phone. She was holding my phone on her other hand. I wasn’t concerned ‘cos I knew it was locked and no one except me knew the password.

Me: Why the hell didn’t you call me before coming???

Without uttering a word and without looking at me, she stretched my phone towards me. I collected it. Oh, shiiit!! 12 missed calls.


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Oh… I was outside fixing the generator outside that’s why I didn’t hear the phone ring…

I looked at her and realized tears were already gathering in her eyes.

Chisom: **In a shaky voice** Dioxidane, who is that b*itch?

Me: Hey, hey, calm down! Why would you be calling someone a b*itch. Besides she’s my friend…

Chisom: **Raising her voice now** I can call her whatever I want to call her! She’s a b*itch!

Me: **In a cool tone** See, I told she’s my friend. I don’t appreciate you calling her a b*itch…

Chisom: **Raising her voice higher** So that’s how you go about f*ucking all your friends abi… Your secret have been revealed today… After all I’ve done for you bla bla bla!! After giving myself to you bla bla bla!! This is how you are going to repay me abi!

**Ah an… See me o??? After she’s done what for me??? See me see wahala o :o**

Me: Would you shut the f*uck up! You are disturbing the neighborhood… Why are you acting so paranoid!

She went on ranting and ranting. I withheld myself ‘cos if I hadn’t, I would have given her the beating of her life. I’ve seen men do it to their wives and the consequences were dire (on the women) and I vowed I was never going to do that to any woman. That was what held me that day. The damage control was becoming futile. I determined right then that she was out of my life. It was now time to do damage control on Zainab.


I was thinking of going outside to meet Zainab, she walked in with tears in her eyes, took her bag and left. I tried going after her to the gate and begging her, but she gave me a look that said : go back before I bust your face. Besides, I still couldn’t be seen with her on the street, much less running after her and begging her so I postponed her begging till some other time…

Jeez, this situation was really getting out of hand. I wanted to go back inside to send Chisom out or beg her. I was confused at that moment. I decided to complete fixing the generator. As I was still working on it, my neighbor was about going out.

Johnson: Oga Dioxidane, I’m going out and I wouldn’t come back today o…

Me: **Who send you make you come back before, mtcheww** Ok bros, no problem… Take care…

He was driving out when Chisom came out of the house.

Chisom: Dioxidane, please I’m sorry… I don’t know what came over me…

Me: **Silence**

Chisom: It’s because of the love I have for you that’s why I reacted like that… Please I didn’t mean it…

Me: **Silence**

Chisom: Bla bla bla bla bla…

Me: **I wasn’t hearing what she was saying anymore**

Chisom: Bla bla bla bla bla…

Me: **Silence**

Chisom: Dioxidane please say something na…

Me: **Silence**

Chisom: Bla bla bla bla bla…

Me: **Silence**

I was just ‘forming concentration’ on the generator I was fixing. I had already finished fixing the generator but I delayed coupling. I totally blanked her. I was so angry. I didn’t want her to see the other side of me, so silence was my only alternative.

Chisom: Dioxidane, I’ll leave o…

Me: **Silence**

She went in and came out with her bag.

Chisom: Dioxidane, I’m leaving!

Me: **Silence**

And so she left. I went and banged the gate to make sure it was locked.

I was angry. I was confused. What do I do? Zainab must have gotten home. Do I call her? Or do I wait till her anger cooled off. I’m definitely not calling Chisom anytime soon.

I quickly coupled the generator and tested it. It worked well. I went inside and lay down on the bed. So many thoughts ran through my head, confusing me. I decided to go to the bar. D–n! I didn’t have enough money on me! I decided to walk to the ATM point, from there to the bar, perhaps it would help me clear my head.

I got to the bar and took 3 bottles of beer while watching a match I had missed the last weekend. Before I knew what was happening, it was 9pm. Time to go home.

When I got home, I was so lonely and bored. I needed company. I couldn’t call Chisom. I tried calling Zainab, she didn’t pick. I called her about 15times, she still refused to pick. **Kai, I don enter am today**. I called some other female friends and we gisted, but I was still bored. I was still pondering what to do when a thought ran through my head, ‘Anthonia’. Yes, Anthonia! She was always the one calling when she needed me. Now I needed someone, I had to call her. Meanwhile, this was already past 10pm.

Anthonia: Hello…

Me: Hi dear, how are you?

Anthonia: I’m fine and you?

Me: I’m not feeling too well…

Anthonia: Really???

Me: Yeah… Where are you?

Anthonia: I’m at home…

Me: Can I come over?

Anthonia: Tonight??? Would you get bike?

Me: Don’t worry I’ll try to get bike…

Anthonia: Ok, no probs… I’ll be waiting…

Me: Thanks dear… I’m on my way now…

Yes! ** 8) i no fit lose everything today na 8) **


immediately got up, picked up my phones and keys and went to get a bike. The time was already some minutes to 11pm. The few bikes passing by already had passengers on them. I had to wait for several minutes before I saw one. After finally agreeing on the price which was three times more than the usual, we set off.

~My s£xcapedes in the north~

Episode 7
Normally while going to Anthonia’s place, I don’t knock on her gate. I just call her when I arrive and she opens the gate. That was the usual. Since it was already late that night, before I even got to her gate, I’ve already begun calling her. She didn’t pick. I thought to myself that maybe she was already at the gate that’s why she didn’t pick. I got to the gate and realized it was still locked. ** 😮 Ah an! w€tin dey happen???** I called her again and she didn’t pick. I called more than 30 times, she still didn’t pick. ** 😮 Chisos :o** At that point I was beginning to get scared. So many thoughts were running through my head ‘Is she asleep already or what???’ ‘Is she doing this on purpose???’ ‘What would I do if she opens the gate?’ ‘Wait o, what if she doesn’t open it, what do I do???’ **I don enter am today** I tried knocking the gate. No response. I still tried calling again and that silly girl that works with MTN told me her number was not reachable and that I should try again later. **What Nonsense!!! A number that has been ringing since???** I tried the number again. The same thing. **Please tell me this isn’t happening???** I began making contingency plans.

Meanwhile, I saw some Almajiri boys lurking around the neighborhood. **Chai, e don be for me today!!!** I had never stayed out late in the night. I recalled the advice I had been given about staying out late in the night. ‘Who send me sef???’ ‘Na woman don put me for wahala so o!’ ‘I don die today!’ ‘Nobody even knows where I am???’ ‘If anything happens to me, no one would even know where to look???’ ‘Chai, who send me???’ ‘My Father, My God, if you know you really love me, me save me this night!’

I decided to brace myself and face whatever came at me that night. I decided that before I get killed (if I get killed), I must take more than two persons with me when going to meet baba! The time was already some minutes to 12am. Her neighborhood was in the interior so I didn’t expect to see any bike, but I was wishing or hoping that if I could get to the main road (unharmed), perhaps I could get a bike to take me home.

You know that move Jim Carey did in Bruce Almighty when he inflated his chest before he went to meet those bad guys after which he made a monkey come out of one of the guys a$s? Yeah, I did that move. I’m tall and well built but I knew that was not enough if I really didn’t want anything to happen to me. I had to act the part. So pushed out my chest and started walking like The Rock. While walking to the bus stop, I saw some of them lurking in the dark, while some were walking ahead of me and they were giving themselves whistling signals. I already set my key on ‘stabbing mode’. The first person that got to me would have gotten a stab on the eye with my key! I don’t know if it was the way I walked or divine intervention, but till I got to the bus stop none of them approached me. **Phweww! Phase 1 complete!** **Moving on to phase 2**

Now how do I get home? The time was already past 12am. There were very few bikes on the road. That was my first experience of the late night life in Katsina. There were street lights everywhere so visibility was ok. I began walking home. I had to recall all the marching lessons I received while in camp. I saw some late night traders and some Almajiris still walking around **those boys no dey sleep???**. After ‘quick marching’ for more than an hour, I got home. **Chai, thank God o 😮 **. I went straight to the bathroom, had a cold bath and went straight to the bed, na*ked. I was still pondering over what had happened and contemplating on what to do when I slept off…

I woke up the next day feeling more confused than ever. I called my boss and told him I wasn’t feeling too well, so I couldn’t be at work. It was friday anyways and that day in the north was usually a day of worship so there was usually little or no work to do.

I checked my phone and saw 12 missed calls. From who? Yeah, you guessed right. I wonder why she was calling me now. What if something happened to me last night??? What would people have said? ‘Ehn, na babe he find go’, that’s if they eventually found out where I went. Why didn’t I just stay at home???

**Anyway sha, thank God for my life.**

She called once more and I refused to pick the call.

After some minutes, I got a text message on my phone. It was from Tonia.

“Hi darling, I’m so sorry about what happened. I took some drugs last night that was why I slept off. I saw your missed calls late in the night and I tried calling you back. Please, I didn’t do it on purpose. Please pick my call.”

In my mind, ‘your fada!! Can you imagine???’ She called again and I switched off my phone.

I tried analyzing the relationships in my life. My girlfriend in Lagos? Traveled out of the country. ** :'( ** Zee? She dey vex for me ** :'( ** Chisom? Naa, I’ll pass… (Wait o, she never call me since o). Tonia? SMH… I would have died because of Tonia yesterday, thanks…

I tried calling Zee again but she still refused to talk to me. I sent her series of messages apologizing for what happened and professing love for her. **For where??? She still no gree** I decided to take a break from girls for a while, perhaps that would help me.

Later in the evening I went to Zainab’s place for lessons with her brother.

Salim: Good evening sir…

Me: Salim, how are you?

Salim: Fine sir…

Me: How’s your sister?

Salim: It’s like she’s not feeling too fine…

Me: Where is she?

Salim: She’s inside…

Me: Please tell her I want to see her…

Salim: Ok…

He went in and came back…

Salim: Sir, she said she’s sleeping…

Me: She said she’s sleeping or she’s really sleeping?

Salim: That’s what she said…

Me: Ok… Let’s continue…

Throughout the duration of the lesson, I just couldn’t concentrate. I just gave Salim numerous questions to solve while I was composing messages to Zee.

She didn’t bother replying. I told her I wanted to see her. No response.

**I quit!!! :'( **

I decided if she didn’t want to see me anymore, so be it.

Before going back home, I went to visit some friends (male friends o). We later went to the bar. As I got home, I was bored and lonely. I called some female friends and we gisted, but I was still bored. I was still pondering what to do when a thought ran through my head, ‘Anthonia’.

** 😮 Huh!!! If I hear???**

I woke up the next day feeling strong and refreshed. Another weekend was here again. I had to do my laundry and clean up my apartment.

I got a call from Zainab’s mum telling me not to come for lessons that day ‘cos they were going out.

** 8) Yeah!! 8)**

I still had not heard from Zainab. I talked to Anthonia and she apologized profusely. I forgave her and told her I was going to visit her later in the day.

I was through with cleaning my apartment and was doing my laundry in the bathroom when I heard someone knocking on the gate.

** :-*

To be continued

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