Nigeria 2044

Nigeria, 2044
“Daddy! Daddy! Wake up!” I feel little hands tugging at my sheets.
I’m not gonna answer whoever it is. Today is Saturday. I deserve some sleep for Pete’s sake. I earned it. Maybe I’ll just lay still and fake snoring sounds and hope to God the person goes away.
“Daddy!Snake!”
“YEPA!” I sprung in an instant from the bed and heads straight to the nearest exit. The bathroom door was ajar. I quickly entered and shut the door almost immediately. p-nting heavily, I take a look at my surroundings. The place was exactly the way we left it. No curling shit. Okay that’s a good sign. The snake didn’t follow me here. I heaved a sigh of relief and then began thinking if the person who called me escaped as well.
“Dad, seriously? I was joking. I was only trying to get you up. You shoulda seen your face when you jumped to the bathroom. Please come out.” AWW MEHN. I opened the door and stare annoyingly at my grinning 8-year old daughter. What I will do without her?
“I got you again Daddy!”
Yea. I remembered the last time she punked me. She told me her mother was drowning in the pool. I ran like a fool, tripped over a stool and got there only to meet my wife as fine and as fresh as ever, perfecting a backstroke. This must stop…damnit!
“Yes baby you did. But how would you feel if Daddy refuses to buy you Ice-Cream?” I started licking my fingers, one-by-one, trying to paint a visual picture in her head. With the look on her face, I aced my plan.
“You…you won’t?” she asked huskily
“Yes Victoria, I won’t”
“But dad i…” I see tears welling up
“I got you too!” I quickly cut in.
I couldn’t follow up my plan anymore. Kids! They always have their way. I started laughing. She joins in. I knelt down and hug her tightly. I smell her hair and mo-ned softly. Strawberry Hair cream I think. Her mom is doing a good job.
“Dad, I think I can’t breathe”
“OOOO Sorry” I loosened my grip. Her hazel eyes stares at me. Just like her mother –which reminds me.
“Baby, where’s your mom and brothers?”
“Brother Mike and Gab are playing video game in their room and Mummy’s in the kitchen. They won’t let me play. They said PES2044 is not for ladies to play.”
“Don’t mind them you hear? I’ll teach you how to play it and you can play and win them okay? Now run along.” As she scurries off she stops abruptly.
“Happy Independence Day Daddy” Hmm today is October 1st?
“Happy Independence Day Darling” and she takes off to her room or wherever a little girl go to these days. I went to the bedside table, grabbed the remote to the Home Theatre and played a vintage song and bent down to do some push-ups.
“Nor be you I carry come
But na you I go carry go
SisiAgbarigoeiyaowey!”
Owwww that song just touches my soul. I couldn’t help it anymore. I stood up and started dancing Shoki, a very old dance. Now if my kids caught me doing this, I know I’m dead for sure. I don’t even know where the Artiste who sang that melody is anymore. I stopped the song after it finishes playing, pick up my shirt and walks briskly out of my master bedroom.
Walking pass the lobby, I could hear my sons’ muffled arguments. Maybe Gabriel won again and Michael isn’t taking it lightly, I don’t care. I just want to hold my wife. I saw her, exactly as I pictured her in my sleep. Her back facing me, her face hidden, covered by those hair braids. She is cutting from the looks of it, a vegetable leaf with a Knife!. I’ve told her countless times to use the automated cutter to do the slicing stuffs but she never agrees. I would say she’s truly an “African” woman if that word still exists today.
“Hello Baby”. She turns and smiles. I rushed in for a hug. I k-ssed her forehead. She makes mewing sounds which instantly makes me giddy.
“Hello stalker. You have started again”
“Me stalker?” I made hurting signals. She just looks at me and scoffs.
“I know all your tricks Emma, there’s nothing new”
“Ehen? That’s what you want to say ba?”
“Yeah…I was actually hoping we could do some freaky-freaky last night. I came back from the bathroom and there you were…snoring” OH SHIT. Yesterday’s stressful work caused this.
“Aww Honey, I will make it up to you”
“How?” Her face lits up
“Lets celebrate the nation’s freedom in our room asin right now!”
“But honey I’ve got…”
“Bone that talk! Lets get free from our PJs. Cmon!”
“But the kids..”
“They are in their room joor…Lets do this!” I know our sons are in their room playing PES. Victoria’s whereabouts I’m not so sure. Hey! She’s a big girl. She’ll take care of herself. Afterall, she pranked me this morning. Was that enough reason for not knowing where she was? I DON’T CARE!
“Hmmm. I was planning on watching President ChuksChuks as he makes his official independence speech”
“Who Chuks Help?Abegi” Truth be told, I and my partner Ejiro Olarewaju have won a lot of contracts from that dude. But that’s not my business now. She finishes with the cutting as swiftly as possible and then she grabs my neck and dragged my l-ips to meet hers and that was when…
“EMMA! EMMA! IDIOT WAKE UP! Which kain sleep you dey sleep sef?”
I woke up with a start. I was in my old room at Ovie Hostel, Oleh. I look at a nearby calendar. It says “2015, My Year Of Multiple Restoration & Unparalleled Favour”
f-ck!
“Idiot!”Joma Breezy Tosan my roommate scre-ms again “We get Prof Kingsley test now!”
THE END
WRITTEN BY EMMANUEL OKORO.