Opana - The Coffin Maker

Opana the coffin maker episode 29


Opana – Episode 29
© Akoto Alexander
Michael Ansah: (speaking to himself before answering the call) Why did I feel this way all of a sudden, am I safe with this two love birds? Well I will put my eyes and ears to the ground so I don’t find myself in any compromising state. Who was even calling me earlier on?
Back at Opana Lawyer’s office: My credible and dependable lawyer, I greet you sir.
Lawyer: Hello sir, you are very welcome to my chamber this sunny afternoon. How is every member of your family doing?
Opana: They are all doing very well.
Lawyer: We thank the most high for his genuine care over us, well our elders say the toad doesn’t run in daylight just like that, it could be that something is chasing it or it is chasing after something. Please what brings you here this afternoon sir?
Opana: Hmmmmm my reliable legal advisor and consultant I greet you again, my purpose of coming here is very simple but very delicate, I want you to do a change of ownership on my palm plantation and parcel of lands close to the highway.
Lawyer: Oh but why sir, that place is a vantage point that in about 10years from now it will fetch you millions of cedis when the district capital is brought here by the government.
Opana: Hmmmmm time happens to be my greatest enemy on this earth for now my brother, if I say am waiting for one more day a volcano will erupt with a force that will burn us all.
Lawyer: Gosh did you say a volcanic eruption? This kind of thing has never happened in Ghana before and if it is going to happen it shouldn’t be in this town and region, I have made a lot of investments in this region and if any volcano erupts it will bring serious setbacks to me and the country, it is good you have decided to sell that land before it gets destroyed with the eruption.
Opana: Oh my brother why this long condolence message, I didn’t say my land is having any volcanic eruption or anything bad so where from all this negative expressions.
Lawyer: Oh sorry for driving my mind towards that direction but I heard you mention volcanic eruption earlier on. Can you please go straight to your point now?
Opana: Hmmmmm my house is on fire my brother, the roof of my house is burning that if nothing is done in this early stage what might happen will cause doom.
Lawyer: (jumps to his feet) Whaaaat? Your roof is on fire and you are sitting here looking unconcerned, let’s rush to your house and get the fire quenched before it causes any mayhem or destroy your valuable properties.
Opana: My brother is everything okay at your end? You seem lost and out of contrast this afternoon, am only speaking in parables and you are thinking negatively. Well to make things very easy and simple I am selling my land because my last or youngest daughter has been hospitalised and she needs to undergo surgery outside the country to correct the disfunction. The doctor said if I waist anytime the problem will rather increase, that is the reason why am selling my lands.
Lawyer: What sickness is she suffering from and when did it start?
Opana: Actually she is not suffering from any sickness or disease….
Lawyer: (cuts in) Ah if she is not suffering from any sickness or disease then what is she doing at the hospital then?
Opana: Hehehehe lawyer so how did you pass your exams to gain admission into the law school and how did you even pass through the law school for you to be called to join the Bar Association?
Lawyer: I beg your pardon sir, what are you trying to insinuate? What do you mean by the questions you are asking?
Opana: Sorry if my question sounded offensive my credible lawyer, I was expecting you to know that it is not only sickness or diseases that makes one go to the hospital for admission, accidents and other unforseen things also leds people to that place also.
Lawyer: (scratching his head) That is also very true my brother, it didn’t come to mind in the first place but do you mind opening up to me?
Opana: I don’t mind telling you everything since you are my lawyer, if I will hide anything away from anyone at all in this world you are an exception. My daughter was knocked down by a spectic car some days ago and the driver took to his heels and as at now, no one knows the driver’s whereabouts. After the doctors carefully exmined her I was told that her spine has developed a serious injury which won’t enable her to walk again unless a serious surgery is done for her and as if that is not enough she has also lost her memory and that one also requires an immediate surgery in South Africa or the States, to make matters worse I have been given a deadline or else my dear daughter will run mad.
Lawyer: God’s of my forefathers please come to the rescue of my brother here. So what is the way forward now?
Opana: The way forward is very simple, someone is willing to buy my lands hence that is the reason for selling the lands. Please work on the change of ownership docvments as soon as possible because any single second we waist will put my daughter’s life is into great danger.
Quincy’s End:
Michael Ansah: (on phone) Hello please may I know who is on the line because I dont know this number?
Caller: It’s me Julia, Mike I have been trying your line for sometime now but it wasn’t going through, later when it went through you were not answering your call. How are you and where have you been?
Michael Ansah: Am fine ooo my dear, my phone has been given me problems that is why sometimes you call me and it doesn’t go through.
Caller: Oh sorry my dear, all the same I wanted to get the list of the things you want me to buy for you when coming over to Ghana, my flight is this evening.
Michael Ansah: Mmmmm my dear I will need some advanced cameras, printers, studio lights and some laptops.
Caller: Is that all you need because you told me a short while ago that your phone is also giving you problems?
Michael Ansah: Oh it will be awesome if you get me a phone also, I didn’t want to make the bill go up.
Caller: Never mind my dear, I have got it all covered. Do well to meet me at the airport tomorrow afternoon so that you collect your things. Please my time is very limited when I touch down so kindly be at the airport even before I walk out from the arrival hall. Will call you back when I return from doing my last minute shopping and the things you requested for.
Michael Ansah: Wooow thanks very much in advance, you can’t phantom how happy I am over here. All the same I will be at the airport even before your flight lands on the soil of mother Ghana.
Caller: Alright my dear, you will hear from me when am back. Stay safe and be good (call ends)
Michael Ansah: (jubilating and making noise) My good people come and see what the Lord has done oooo, He has brought hope to me the hopeless, He has brought me from shame to fame, from grass to grace, from who are you to how are you. What shall I render unto the Lord for his mercies, protection and favour, baba God you do all.
Maabena Boaduwaa: (walks out from the washroom) Mike why all this cacophonic jubilation, have you won a lottery? Quincy dear come out from the shower and listen to your brother from another mother.
Quincy: (walks in to join his friend and lover) Bro blow me the stuff that has placed you on a different planet, my ears are feeling very itchy to hear what you have to say to us.
Michael Ansah: Bro you can’t imagine what my ears heard some seconds ago, Julia called and she has agreed to get us some latest cameras, printers and even laptops.
Quincy: Tell me you are kidding, my ears don’t believe what I just heard from your lips.
Michael Ansah: Bro it is true and I mean deam true, get ready because we are meeting her tomorrow afternoon at the airport.
Quincy: Really? Baby did you just hear what my brother from another mother just said? If we are going to get those gadgets then be rest assured that our lives is going to change very soon. You can’t imagine what the two of us can do when we have cameras and laptops in our possession, we are going to transform the scene very soon my darling girl. Mike this news calls for celebration……….
Kwaku Mike together with Quincy and Maabena Boaduwaa enjoyed themselves with food and drinks till the sun went down, Kwaku Mike decided later to go out and enjoy the evening breeze so that he could give the two lovers some privacy. He informed Quincy that he wanted to take a little stroll in the neighbourhood so he could get familiarised with the area, Quincy didn’t like the idea of him walking alone outside but as Kwaku Mike mentioned the word “privacy” and Maabena heard that word, she started to give Quincy eye signals for him to allow Kwaku Mike go out so that they could have a little quite time together.
Quincy: Bro I don’t like the idea of you going out all alone at this time of the night, remember what you passed through in the hands of those criminals. Moreover you don’t know this area very well and it is getting dark too.
Michael Ansah: Bro don’t worry about me, you know how I do my thing and who knows if I might get hooked up with a nice lady out there. Remember that three is always a crowd, let me step out a bit so I give you guys a little privacy.
Quincy: What privacy are you talking about? Am I complaining of you been a hinderance or what? I don’t like your idea at all and I insist you………
Maabena Boaduwaa: (cuts Quincy short) What idea of Mike don’t you like? Why are you treating him like a little child, if he wants to step out a bit why are you depriving him of that? Please allow Mike to operate and function effectively without any restrictions, for me I support his idea 100% especially in his current condition it will be appropriate for him to exercise a bit so that the veins and body will remain strong.
Quincy: I only want the best for my brother from another mother, who knows if those fools are now in the street tracking him down?
Michael Ansah: Nothing will happen to me my guy, your area and house is going to be the last place those idiots will ever think of visiting, I know am no longer in danger so please relax and enjoy you birthday with the queen of your life and heart.
Quincy: But who told you that am bothered with you joining me here in my single room self-contained. I am very okay with you my brother, I do remember everything you did for me back at the university.
Maabena Boaduwaa: Kwasi Quincy why are you so difficult sometimes, do you mean to say that you friend or better still brother from another mother doesn’t know what he wants? Mike please do as you wish but becareful with yourself as you step out.
Michael Ansah: (smiles before walking out) I promise to convey myself here very safe and sound, I won’t step on anyone’s toe and won’t engage myself in anything that will cause any problem for you or me. Quincy my brother enjoy the quite time with your Queen, will be back in about 2hours time. (steps out of the room)
Quincy: Maabena what was that drama that you put up some minutes ago? See I and Mike go way back and I don’t want you to be coming between us like that.
Maabena Boaduwaa: Hey calm down Mr man, all what I was doing was just for your interest if you don’t know, I wanted him to step out so that we will get some privacy for ourselves. I saw how you were lusting for me inside the bathroom that was why I was pushing him to step out so that you get what you want, you know your place is very small to contain your friend and I. Now you should bear in mind that with your friend here anytime you want to have me or I want to have you inside me, unless you come to my place and that will also be when my parent are not in the house.
Quincy: Hmmmmmm we will know what to do very soon but please don’t make my friend for a second feel or think that his coming here was and is a mistake because I forced him here and his coming over will rather open doors that will benefit us. Please treat him special and let him feel at home.
Maabena Boaduwaa: I will try my best to be of my best conduct towards him but do you think you making him come over to your end was the best option and are we safe with him around us? Baby the people I saw in the hospital looked very deadly and aggressive to me oooo and for me I will advice you make him find somewhere else to move into because I don’t want him to endanger us with his presence here.
Quincy: Enough of this nonsense that is coming from your mouth Maabena, this should be the last time you raise any issue concerning my friend. I will pretend that I didn’t hear what you said and let me throw caution to you not to ever open up on the story he told us to any living soul because if you do death will be the reward that we will get.
Maabena Boaduwaa: So can’t I now express myself any longer in this relationship, you are not been fair over here baby. You have been behaving differently since your friend stepped into this room, you are now supporting and giving him attention more than me, he’s now your priority and not me again, I came here to give you a birthday threat and see what you are doing to me. I can’t take……
Quincy: (cuts in with a loud voice) Enough!!! Please stop this right away, you know what I think I also need fresh air outside because I don’t want to be listening to things coming out from your mouth. You are surprising me with your attitude this evening baby girl.
Maabena Boaduwaa: Step out and see if you will come and meet me in this room, do you think am not happy when I am in my parent house? I came here to enjoy quality time with you since today is your birthday and you are doing everything possible to raise a fight with me, see what you are looking forward to get from me as a form of fight won’t happen today so you better have to think of something else. I only want to give you a mindblowing birthday gift on this bed but if you don’t want it I will only take my thing back to the house.
Quincy: Did I hear you say my thing? Don’t you know that what you are referring to isn’t yours but you are just taking care of it for me.
Maabena Boaduwaa: Since when did it become yours, you have been stealing and enjoying it illegally Mr man, you have only a year to come and make it yours officially from my parents or else I will give any man who comes to my house to ask for my hand in marriage a chance. Am not getting any younger you know.
Quincy: Hmmmm let any man who wants to die cross me and see, I won’t hesitate to kill any man who trys to share you with me my dear, I will chop off that person’s balls and boil it for him to eat it himself, now come to daddy for him to give you some special treatment.
Maabena Boaduwaa: (biting her lips) That is what am talking about and please give it to me real hard this evening because now we won’t be doing it very often since your friend is now here with you.
Outside Quincy’s room:
Kwaku Mike takes a long stroll and he comes across a provision store and he enters to buy himself a drink as he continues his evening stroll and in the shop he sees a very beautiful lady shopping, he foolishly looks at the lady and forgets that he’s standing at the counter where he was to make payment of the drink he bought. The shop attendant had to tap him before he came back to himself which got everyone in the shop laughing apart from the beautiful lady who he was looking at, Kwaku Mike paid for the drink and decided to wait for the lady outside and have a little chat with her and if possible ask for her contact so that he could be checking up on her from time to time. Was it love at first sight or it was just foolishness because you just saw the person for the first time and you can’t simply take a walk away from her, what if she is engaged or even married? Well after some minutes of waiting and enduring the unfriendly nature of the mosquitoes in the area the beautiful lady majestically walks out from the provision shop with polybags in both hands so Kwaku Mike rushes to her to help her carry the things she bought.
Michael Ansah: Hello pretty godess, why do I help you carry your things since a pretty lady like you shouldn’t be stressing herself like that.
Pretty Lady: Excuse me will you take your hands off me before I slap you………….
Why do ladies sometimes behave rudely towards men as if it is only angels that they expect to come in contact with them.
How to grow your business while you stay at home
Ladies why do you flex men like that sometimes?
For my guys have you ever been embarrassed by a lady in public before? Share your worse experience with us so we also learn a thing or two from your worse encounter with a lady…..
To be continued

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