Opana the coffin maker episode 6

Opana – Episode 6
 
© Akoto Alexander
 
Opana: (whispers to himself as he heads to his flat) I will deal with anyone who flouts my orders in this house because I have the final and utmost say in this compound. I won’t hesitate to eject anyone who rocks shoulders with me in this house of mine, whether I built or inherited it from my uncle, I am the landlord for now. Anyone who doesn’t understand can decide to go and mix the sea with sugar and drink, let me rush to the house and deal with my wayward children.
 
BACK IN OPANA’s ROOM:
 
Bernice Ansah: But mummy why should I apologise for doing nothing wrong?
 
Akua Yankey: If you know what “am sorry, please and thank you” does like you will be saying them even when you haven’t stepped on anyone’s toes.
 
Bernice Ansah: You big bro if I said anything wrong am sorry.
 
Akua Yankey: See how arrogant you are sounding, this is all my fault because I have over pampered you girls a lot but now things will take a different dimension in this house.
 
Opana: (walks into the room feeling annoyed already) Herh you now tell me what you were doing in that uncompleted building early this morning with that stupid guy who tired to kill me this afternoon.
 
Michael Ansah: Whaaaaat? Papa did you say someone tried to kill you this afternoon? Now Bernice you better start talking before I land you a dirty slap you disrespectful girl.
 
Akua Yankey: Are you deaf and dumb now young lady?
 
Opana: (quitely goes to the door and locks it whiles he puts the keys in his pocket and unbuckles his belt) I won’t repeat myself any longer with the question that I asked you and if you try to lie to me erh, I will beat you like a thief I caught stealing my coffin. Now start talking.
 
Bernice: Pa…pa…..pa…..paaa (her phone rings to cut her from talking)
 
Opana: And when did you start using mobile phone in this house? Woman are you aware you daughter uses mobile phone in this house?
 
Akua Yankey: Not at all my dear, am even surprised to see her with a phone.
 
Opana: Kwaku Mike take the phone from her for me to see who is calling her at this time of the day.
 
Michael Ansah: With pleasure papa, herh how did you get such an expensive phone to use? Papa and Mummy this phone cost thousands of cedis and it’s currently one of the most expensive phones in the world, Samsung Note 8.
 
Opana: Really? How much are we talking about here?
 
Michael Ansah: Its about two thousand eight hundred cedis if am not even wrong by quoting a cheaper price.
 
Akua Yankey: Kwaku Mike are you sure of the amount you just mentioned? Adjoa Bernice where did you get money to purchase this phone or better still how did you get it?
 
Opana: Hmmmm my daughter is now a thief or has turned into a pr-stitute and this is the reason why I will kill you right here and bury you before daybreak. Now start talking now before I tear you into pieces you cheap slut, where did you go this morning and where did you get this expensive mobile phone from? TALK NOW BEFORE I STRIKE YOU WITH MY FIST!!!!!
 
Bernice Ansah: (trembling and fumbling with words) Mmmm I went to meet Kwame Fred this morning when he called me last night to see him, I told him it’s late but he insisted to see me at all cost and he even threatened to come here but I pleaded with him so he opted for us to meet early this morning at the big uncompleted building close to your shop.
 
Akua Yankey: (very surprise) Eeeeiiiii Adjoa Bernice when did you start making friends with boys and sneaking out this house to meet them? I taught I was sleeping in a room but little did I know my entire body is lying outside.
 
Opana: Woman allow her to talk, now what time did you leave this compound and if you try lying erh, you will see the reason why am called “the rough boy”.
 
Bernice Ansah: I didn’t check the time but it was early in the morning.
 
Opana: Did you do your morning chores before stepping out of this house?
 
Bernice Ansah: No please.
 
 
Opana: Fine case. Now continue with your narration
 
Bernice Ansah: Mmmm so when I left the house I met him already waiting for me infront of the building, he invited me in,side but I declined and he told me that he wanted to discuss something with me but he couldn’t do so with both of us standing at a place where my father will pass to his shop soon. I accepted his offer with what he said knowing very well that you will be passing by soon, when we went in,side the uncompleted building Kwame Fred told me that he loves me so much and that he wants me to be his girlfriend because among all the girls in the town am the only one he sees very much attractive and beautiful. The next thing I saw was he making advances at me and touching my sensitive parts.
 
Akua Yankey: Jesus Christ!!!! My daughter did that swine lay his filthy hands on you? Did he succeed in raping you?
 
Opana: Woman can’t you keep quite, why are you interrupting her narration. Am taking records of her statement and I want to see her consistency in her statement because a liar has no memory. Now madam continue.
 
Bernice Ansah: So as he kept touching and smooching me I kind of lost control of myself and you walked in, papa I swear I didn’t do anything silly with him until you chanced in on us.
 
Akua Yankey: Thank you God for leading my husband to that very place before the worse happened.
 
Opana: Now listen to my next set of questions carefully because if you give any false answer erh, only God knows what I will do to you.
Now how old are you and are you a V-rgin?
 
Michael Ansah: You heard papa so answer him now.
 
 
Bernice Ansah: (eyes her brother before talking) Papa I will be 17years next week and am…..
 
Opana: (cuts in rudely) If you there try lying erh, I will mishandle you right away that it is the hospital that you will find yourself.
 
Bernice Ansah: (in a soft and remorseful tone) I am not a V-rgin anymore.
 
Akua Yankey: (covers her mouth out of shock) Adjoa Bernice but why? Someone I have been boasting off that you don’t even have a boyfriend, aww if it is a dream please wake me up.
 
(Bernice phone rings again to interrupt her mother from talking, Opana ask Michael who the caller is)
 
Opana: Which fool is calling her by this time of the day?
 
Michael Ansah: Papa the name she has saved on the phone is Commander.
 
Opana: Answer the call and put it on loudspeaker for her to speak to the person so we know who the caller is.
 
On phone:
 
Commander: (heavy male voice) Hello my sweet cup cake, I really enjoyed the way you f**ked the hell out of me last two nights. You almost killed me with your experience and skills that I can’t simply take my mind off you, honestly no woman has ever twisted her wa-ist on me like you did that evening and as the saying goes “Oliver Twist will always ask for more”, just try and lie to your mother again that you are going for extra classes so that you meet me at the guest house again tomorrow evening, I have decided to give you three thousand cedis(3000) instead of the one thousand cedis(1000) you requested to buy those dresses and I hope you liked the phone I bought for you. Hello……. Hello……. Hello sweetheart are you there?
 
Akua Yankey: (cuts in with a raging anger) Whoever you are thank you very much for destroying the future of my little girl. I am grateful and my God will bless you for exposing my little girl to this hazard.
 
(call drops immediately as Akua Yankey made her utterance)
 
Opana: Woman you rush too much, who instructed you to cut into the call? You should have kept mute for your daughter to respond to his appeal so that we would lay ambush for him tomorrow, at least we could have taken that three thousand cedis (3000) from him and use it for something important in this house.
 
Akua Yankey: Am very sorry my husband, I didn’t know you had extra plans to execute on this matter. Why don’t you allow her to call him back so she tells him that she can still meet him and that she knows how to handle me.
 
Opana: Do you think that man would be that stupid and walk into our trap just like that? I know what to do and at the right time you will hear from me.
 
Akua Yankey: If you say so I have heard you my husband since you are the head of the family.
 
Opana: Who was the man that just called you? It will help both of us if you tell me the very truth Adjoa Bernice.
 
Bernice Ansah: He is the commander of the district police station in the next town.
 
Opana: You mean that wicked man with the big head and pot belly? What at all did you see in that ugly man that you have been sleeping around with him? Are you not aware that he is a married man and also older than me and will be going on retirement pretty soon.
 
Michael Ansah: Herh what could be wrong with you this girl?
 
Opana: Hmmmm so now tell me, how many guys or men have slept with you so far?
 
Bernice Ansah: (playing smart) Only 3guys have slept with me so far.
 
Akua Yankey: Awwww am dead, my daughter you have killed me. At the age 16years you have already slept with 3men?
 
Opana: Woman don’t die now because your daughter here is not just a slut but a decorated liar and pretender. Bernice if you don’t speak the truth erh I will slap you with my sandpaper palms, give us the actual figure or else I will vandalize and rearrange that stupid face of yours. (rises from his seat)
 
Bernice Ansah: (sensing danger ahead if she lies and fumbling with words) Papa I have lost count but I believe they are about 13 or 14 guys.
 
Opana: Let me help you my professional official little pr-stitute, they are 17guys and if I didn’t bump into you fools this morning like you will increase your achievement tally to 18. “The butterfly thinks himself a bird”, at your age you have slept with more men than your age, clap for yourself and let me tell you that if you think because you are having big br-ast and buttocks it makes you a matured woman then have a rethink, when that stupid girl told me that you were rendering a door to door service to the men of this town I felt she was only jealous of you or any of my daughters but no she was very right. I won’t beat you or touch you because it’s your life and body, if the place losses it’s elasticity because of the different shapes and sizes that has gone there, it’s your problem but mind you if you carry any pregnancy to this house, I will immediately give you out to marriage and wash my hands off you. I wonder the records your sisters might be carrying now. Kwaku Mike copy the number of that idiot for me and take the phone to town tomorrow and sell it for a reasonable price and bring the money to the shop.
 
Bernice Ansah: Bro Kwaku please don’t sell my phone I beg of you.
 
Akua Yankey: It serves you right you spoilt brat. When I was your age I didn’t know any man but for you, you know men and have been enjoying things meant for adults, see her sad pretty little face like a Chinese orphan.
 
Opana: Mmm Kwaku you know what? On second thought give me the phone because I don’t trust you either.
 
Michael Ansah: Papa but why? All the same there is code on the phone.
 
Opana: Herh what are the numbers of the code? Talk before I smash your head.
 
Bernice Ansah: (reluctant but gives de code all the same) 0554021603
 
Opana: (opens the phone and opens gallary then scre-ms out loud) Jesus come and see Christ!!!! Adjoa Bernice……
 
___
 
Opana: Herh Adjoa Bernice are this the pictures and videos you have on your phone? You need serious deliverance from a strong man of God and you body needs to be soaked in pool of olive oil to cleanse your body from this devilish and demonic spirit that has captured your soul. So when you are left in the house this are the very things you engage yourself in huh? Hmmmm ooo my God so this guy with this abochi manh-od has also penetrated through your legs also and it didn’t paralyze you? Am even afraid of you now to the extent that if I come closer to you and I don’t take care I will fall in that manh0le you have in between your legs. Ahaa thank God I have the commander’s unclad picture also here, I am a very lucky man today and wherever I slept last night I will sleep there again and even do the same style I did to sleep. Kwaku Michael change the password on the phone right away with the name of your grandfather, I believe you still remember that name?
 
Michael Ansah: (instead goes through his younger sister’s phone to view what his father was complaining about) Oh my God!!! Adjoa so you were able to consume this python in between your legs and you were not hospitalized. God thank you for sustaining my sister’s young life. Hmmmm am speechless mpo.
 
Akua Yankey: (cuts in) Hey I also deserve to get a glimpse of what you are scre-ming about.
 
Opana: (shouts on Kwaku Mike) You fool did I ask you to invade in your sister’s privacy? Now give me the phone and write down the old password she gave out for me.
 
Michael Ansah: So papa that fool who tried killing you where is he now because I want to go and discipline him in a way that he will never forget my beatings all his stupid life. He can’t mess up with my sister and later try to eliminate my father also.
 
Opana: Kwaku Mike Tyson, Kwaku Anthony Joshua, Kwaku Mayweather, Kwaku Azumah Nelson, Kwaku Bastie Samir, Kwaku Bukom Banku, Kwaku Sampson, this is not what is important Mr strongman. Go and find a job to do and stop fighting unnecessary battles that are not meant for you. I have dealt with that fool in a way that his family members won’t even recognise him when they see him and before I forget, that high time lady in the corner of the house said stop pestering her life because she doesn’t do small boys who still leave under the same roof of his parent. Now go and lock my main gate since am going to bed and for that commander I will make his life miserable. Take the keys to the door of the house.
 
THE FOLLOWING MORNING:
 
Bernice Ansah: Good morning papa. How was your night and how are you doing?
 
Opana: Awwww morning my precious little jewel. Hope you slept well?
 
Bernice Ansah: My night was bad papa, please forgive me for my bad conduct because I don’t know what came over me that made me do all those bad things.
 
Opana: My daughter what you are asking from me depends on you, see I don’t own you or your body. If you want to service all the men in this entire town, it is up to you to decide on what you want your future to be like.
 
Bernice Ansah: But papa what will happen to the phone you took from me?
 
Opana: Hahahaha so you still have eyes for that phone my daughter? My dear take your mind and eyes from that phone because am going to sell it, the money I raise from selling it will help in paying part of your expensive fees and bills but don’t worry I will give you 10% of the amount I get from your phone. Mind you until you turn 18years, any phone I see in your custody, I am going to confiscate it and you will never get it back even if it’s not for you.
 
Bernice Ansah: But papa you know that is not fair ooo, at least you can make me keep the phone as a consultation price for the risk I took with my body.
 
Opana: Baby girl life has never been fair since the time of Adam and Eve so just accept my verdict on your case. You will thank me in the future because I mean well for you.
 
Bernice Ansah: But papa what………
 
Opana: (cuts in rudely) Say no more my little girl because what will come from you mouth will rather make me angry because am in a very high spirit and good mood my dear, don’t spoil my day even before I step foot from my house. I will see you in the evening.
 
(leaves the house and makes a call to someone to meet him somewhere)
 
After several minutes of been in the shop Opana leaves the shop to the next town for an unfinished business.
 
Opana: Good morning young lady is your commander in his office? I want to see him right now.
 
Officer: Good morning sir. Please may I know the reason why you want to see my boss because there are laid down procedures here to be followed before you can see the commander. Kindly state your purpose for wanting to see him so I see if it is tangible enough because there are somethings the station master or myself can do to help in your problem.
 
Opana: Young woman if it was you or your station master I wanted to see like I will state that fact immediately I saw you so direct me to your commander’s office now and I mean now.
 
Officer: Mister you can’t walk in here and be ordering me around like you are the one who employed or pays me monthly. You better respect yourself or else I will…..
 
Opana: (cuts in rudely) Or esle what? Are you going to lock me up in that smelling cell or detain me behind your counter? If you care to know, it’s our small taxes that are used to pay you. When you get this black khaki dress that we citizen buy for you to wear you think you are on top of the world. See am not scared of your stupid treats and I want to see your commander now!!!
 
Cell Leader: Officer why don’t you bring him here so we teach him a lesson in,side here.
 
Opana: Oh shut up you smelling criminal, if you lived a clean and responsible life like you will be walking about freely. Idiot!!!
 
Cell Leader: You will come and meet in,side here you loud old man, I have seen your kind before but when you come here, we shall see who is the real man.
 
Officer: (raising her voice) Am simply been professional and tolerating you because I see you to be an elderly person who is old enough to be my father if not like I will just throw you into the dark cell.
 
Opana: You think raising your voice will change anything huh? Do you know the size and strength of my wife that I still control under my roof? You better show me the way leading to the commander’s office or I will personally order him to seek for your immediate transfer to the most poorest community in Ghana that you will regret ever to join the Police Service.
 
Officer: (yells and bangs her hand on the concrete counter) Enough of this nonsense old man now leave this place now before…….
 
Commander: (walks in hearing the noise in the charge office) Corporal Majidatu what is all this noise about? Can’t you control this place any longer or you think this place is a market place?
 
Officer: Am sorry sir. This old man just walked in here ordering to see you just like that and I tried to make him understand the laid down procedures but he won’t just understand.
 
Opana: Why do I have to write a petition or go through a drill before I see you commander? If you know my purpose for wanting to see you, like you will immediately usher me into your office.
 
Commander: Corporal Majidatu, don’t worry I will handle the matter so go back to what you were doing before the man walked in.
 
Officer: All correct sir
 
Commander: (ushers Opana into his office and offers him a seat) You are welcome to my office. Kindly go straight to the point why you want to see me this morning because I have a lot of files on my desk to work on.
 
Opana: No problem commander. Thanks for accepting to have me in your office amidst your busy agenda. Mmmm you see there is this elderly man who has been sleeping with my underage daughter and buying her expensive things that to me will introduce her to waywardness. What pains me much is that they have been exchanging unclad pictures and from the look of the picture, the man is a very respected personality in the society who might have power backing him to do that nonsense he is doing. He is someone who I believe is married with children probably even older than my daughter.
 
Commander: (takes off his lense) My brother your narration is a bit pathetic but you see the laws of this country is no respector of age, position, family background, educational background or even your religion. The police remains your friend and we are there to enforce the law and if you commit yourself negatively towards the laws, the law will deal with you rigidly without any fear or favour from anywhere, that is my promise to you and those who know me very well will tell you that I don’t go against my word.
 
How to grow your business while you stay at home
Opana: I like the sound of that and am happy I came to you.
 
If you smell what Opana is cooking, drop your comments.
 
To be continued