Sade’s heart tale episode 1

SADE’S HEART TALE 💌
Part 1
By AMAH’S HEART.

I do want you to understand that without God this life is void and empty.
there used to be a time in my life that I also wonder if God truly exist.
But he sure do.

My name is Ayomide, my family are not the super fun type but we’re just like a regular family setting.
I was a young girl with a big plan and I was ready to pursue my dream until I achieve it.
I know it won’t be a smooth ride but giving up was never my thing.

I happened to be industrious at very early stage of my life. I was focus and creative.
when I was in junior class, i made sure I engaged in a petty trading after each holiday in order to get some text books when school resumes.
Not that my parents were so poor, like I said we were just the normal family. We are not wealthy neither are we poor.

We can atleast afford two to three meals a day, not necessarily three square meal but at least we don’t beg for food.

My mum was a primary school teacher while my dad worked with the ministry of works and housing.

So you can see that we are not really feeding from hand to mouth, we are just alright.

But out of the five children, I’m the only one that doesn’t really have luck in certain things.
Even with my parents, everyone gets away with everything except me.

My siblings may ask for money for either school or personal things and are either given right away or later but that doesn’t apply to me.
I will be dismissed immediately, sometimes even before my statement is completed they will chase me off like one with plague.
Because of all this I decided to go and work for my own money rather than been rejected everytime.
I was working even at a teen age just to have my own money to avoid rejection.
The good thing is that nobody stopped me from doing my normal petty trading which I engage after school. My parents didn’t have much to say about it they just allowed me do my thing.

In this way, I can afford school books, sandals and other little necessary and needed items.
I avoid asking anybody for anything except the major things like school fees or other huge amount I can’t afford.

I struggle alot through things others flow freely with and even my academic suffers setback.
It was as if I don’t just have luck for anything at all.

I struggled through secondary school, each new class has it’s ups and down and my grades weren’t perfect but atleast it wasn’t worst.

finally, I managed to get to the final class which is Ss3 and sat for waec.
My Dad warned me seriously about the exam and said I must not fail.
He said if I should fail a subject or the exam he will really deal with me.

The warning was very serious that I promised myself that I will never fail. It can’t happen not after all the warning from my Dad.
One of my sister said i hærdly pass anything freely without lots of troubles, it looks like I may even fail my waec.

I laughed so hærd with full confidence and told her that such is not possible. I was already well equipped for the exams and no Jupiter will make me fail.

I was so confidence that each day I returned from writing the exam I will be boasting how I finished all the questions. I will tell them that the exam was even very simple and nothing to worry about.

My father will be looking at me while I boast to my sisters and brothers.
“Stop running your mouth Sade, let result come out first..” one of my sister will say.

I will reply back that i have no fear at all.
After the exam, in no time result came out.
Everyone was eager to know what I scored due to my over confidence.
My Dad precisely was eager to know if I made all my papers.

After seeing by results, I wish I could just disappear.
I failed, yes…I actually failed.
My mathematics was nothing to write about.
I failed my maths woafully.
Oh God, I never see it coming.
I thought I will be able to make my Dad proud this time, to erase the doubts he has, to make him believe in me and see that I’m also bright like other of my siblings.
I really needed to pass to right alot of wrongs and feel belong again in the family.

but again just as I expected, I failed my mathematics which was one of the major subjects.

This made my Dad to be very mad at me. He felt he just wasted money and hopes. Because he was hoping this time I will atleast make him proud and I try everything possible to do so but I ended up failing and disappointing him again.

He was really angry and scolded me and also telling me how much I was different from his other kids.
Everyone was excelling and making him proud except me.

I was hurt as I also felt the entire universe was also against me.

Another chance to write GCE came, I decided to grab it.
Maybe this time it will be different.
This was my chance to change some things and make it all right.

My Dad warned me seriously before he gave me the money for registration.
I pleaded nonstop, I knelt down and begged him before he agreed.
The family said he shouldn’t waste his money on me again that I was a failure… obviously.
but I still believe in myself that I can.
I believe if I was given another chance I will prove them all wrong.

Before my Dad finally agreed to give me the money he draw my ears. He said if I fail this time around he will never waste his money again on me.
He said giving me money is like throwing it into the dustbin because at the end it will still be a waste but he was ready to give me another chance and if I fail again that will be the end.

This time I was ready to do anything just to prove to my parents that I wasn’t a failure. I was going to make them proud this time and also show my siblings that they are not better than me like they make me feel.

I decided to reduce the way I go about my hustle.
I concentrated so much on my books and read morning and night.
While everyone is asleep I was busy reading.
I made sure I prepared so well and solve different mathematics formulas.
I was certain this time that I will pass and also pass my mathematics in flying colors.

Exams started, I was calm and did not boast like I did the last time.
I try not to pull in too much confidence. I just wanted to silently prove them wrong when the result is out.

After the GCE exam, I was waiting for my results so that I can show them that their words has no effect on me.

I believed strongly in myself that I was going to prove them all wrong this time.

My results came out and at first I had fears checking if I pass all my papers or not.
Knowing how hærd I prepared for the exams, I know deep down there was nothing to really worry about.

My Dad won’t be disappointed this time.

I summoned courage and checked my results.
Guess what?
I failed. Yes, I failed again. I also failed my mathematics. I actually failed my Dad, I never expected this but the sad truth is that…I failed and you already know what that makes me.
Yes, you got it right, a failure.

Tbc