Save me episode 2 – 3

Save me episode 2

” how can you ask me to marry the monster who raped me?” I asked choking in my tears.
_” i’m sorry my precious.. I really i’m sorry. But i can do nothing .. I feel helpless. Think about your sisters.. No one will marry them if they knew your story! Your life is already ruined.. I want your sisters to have a better one at least. Please .. If you don’t marry him .. No other man will ever accept you”
I couldn’t believe that the woman i spent my wh0le life working like a cow to satisfy was saying this to me.
She was my mother, and although those words killed everything that was left in me .. I couldn’t but ask:
_” what about me? .. Am i not your daughter?.. I want to have a life too, how can you ask me to marry the one who ruined me?”
But do you think she even blinked or looked sorry for me.
No.
She pushed me away as she stood up and said coldly:
_” let me make this clear for you, you have one choice .. Either you fix this by marrying that animal. Or your dad is going to kill you. And i hope you still have the decency to spare the man who raised you from hell”
The man who raised me? .. What a joke.
He never even looked at me as a daughter .. Not even for once.
Not even when i had the best grades. Not even when i was the first girl in our family to go to college and have a decent job.
I’ve been living away from my family for years now .. I had to work to get money to live when i was in college. But i never once complained.
When my brother asked for money to buy drugs and fancy clothes to sed-ce girls in high schools he was given all the money he wanted. Because he’s “the man of the family”
But when i asked for a little help .. All i got was:
_” look girl, i let you go to college and didn’t forbid you, isn’t that good enough for you?.. If you find it so hærd to make money for your studies then just drop and learn how to be a decent housewife!”
And to that . i bent like a dog and k-ss the back of his hands saying:
_” thank you father for doing that much for me.. I can take care of the rest”
I was stupid.
And what did she say .. Spare him from hell?..
I really wanted to laugh.
He is going to “hell” anyways.
How can the almighty god forgive such sinful beast?
I smiled sarcastically as i said:
_” go tell them i agree on marrying that man, this way your daughters and you will have their happy endings. And then don’t show me your face again after that .. May god take me to hell with you. But i rather kill my self than obey a woman like you again. Forget that i’m your daughter ”
When i saw her face relieved instead of hurt after i finished talking. I knew that i never had a family.
And i knew i did the right thing.
That woman quickly walked out of the room.. that was the last time i ever saw her for so long.
After a while the police walked in,side the room to question me again, they said i don’t have to be worried about anything and tell the wh0le truth.
And that they will give me full protection and have my rights back for me again.
Funny .. Isn’t it?
The People who barely knew me were ready to give me justice. And the people who raised me abandoned me.
I looked at my hand full of bruises.. At that ring that was so large on my finger that i could put in my thumb instead and lied:
_” i didn’t say the truth minutes ago .. In fact “Rami belarbi” is my fiance .. And i did this with him willingly. A car just hit me in the highway. You can jail me for lying if you want .. I don’t care anymore”
The policemen didn’t look at me disgusted . but pitied instead. They knew what i said was bullshit.
But they agreed on it anyways as i dropped out all charges.
When they were about to walk away i took off the ring and handed it to them saying:
_” throw this in the trash on your way.. ”
i remember I was in so much pain the next days .. But i was numb.
Many women came to see me the long of my staying at the hospital.
Some just picked looks at me from afar. And some had the strength to ask me what happened with me,
Of course i didn’t reply at any of their questions.
Because i knew none of them was offering help .. They were just curious to have some stories to add excitement to their boring lives.
I even shouted at some of them asking them to go out.
What i did instead was to shower many times all day long.
I felt disgusted with my self ..
I wanted to wipe all those traces these filthy men left on me. Although i knew even if i dropped acid on them .. They wouldn’t be cleaned.
I showered until i no longer could breathe from the steam.
I even dropped bucketfuls of cold water on me whenever i remembered what happened to me.
The nurse often injected me sedatives so i calm down a bit ..
But what sedative would calm the fire that was burning me from the in,side!
My life was.. over.
About a week later my father visited me in the morning. He never visited me even once .. So i knew he wasn’t there because he suddenly “missed me”
_” prepare your self .. We’re going in minutes” he finally said.
_”going where?”
_” to the mayor’s office of course .. We’re getting you married today”
I wanted to spit on his face .. But i didn’t.
I went to the locker .. Took out my clothes from it and started to change.
_” despicable!! How can you bare your self in front of your father? Don’t you have manners!” He shouted as he looked away from me.
I just started to laugh and didn’t say a word as i continued wearing my clothes.
I fixed my scarf above my head .. And then i coldly said:
_” your decent son must be waiting for us in the car “i” bought you .. Let’s go meet him”
My father .. I mean that old man didn’t find a word to say .. So he just followed me.
I signed papers to dismiss my self from the hospital.
They only kept me for a weak because they were afraid i was going to hurt my self without those sedatives they inject me daily.
I bet they were going to send me to a mental hospital in few days.
But i’m still not that crazy yet.
And as expected .. My “dear” brother. 23 years old empty brained was waiting in,side the car at the hospital’s entry.
I took the back seat as that old thing took the seat in front. My brother then drove us in silence.
_” take these .. The girls wrote them for you” my brother suddenly said as he thrown me few pieces of papers.
I opened them only to find out they were letters from my three little sisters.
Telling me they were so sorry for me and that they will always love me.
Telling me to just run away and not marry that animal.
They told me they got my back .. And that they don’t care if all fingers were pointed to them . that they only want me to be happy.
I cried for the first time in days after i red them.
They were written in broken French so my dead_brained brother didn’t understand a word of them.
And you see.. The oldest among my three younger sisters was 17 years old!
How can they defend me or even stand for me!
The ones who should support my weak shoulders are taking me to my grave when the ones who had no power were ready to do anything for me.
I initially thought of running away once we reach the mayor’s office but as i saw those honest words and the dry drops of tears all over those papers.
I realised i had people to fight for .. I can’t betray them.
We soon reached the mayor’s office. Once the car parked my father threw me a ring and clarified:
_” this is from your husband .. Put it”
_” don’t call him my husband! Don’t !”
_” we will go in and have your marriage certificate after this couple .. I expect you don’t do anything to disgrace us anymore” he added coldly not even caring about what i said.
_” i wish i could burn this building on your heads and kill that beast. Because you couldn’t be man enough to do that_” i replied with a mocking smile.
That old man turned to give me a sudden punch_slap.
My only consolation was that he actually hurt his arm in the process.
Few minutes later .. My brother received a call .. So he suggested:
_”it’s our turn to go now .. You better behave”
I breathed heavily .. I just wanted to finish with all this bullshit so as i can finally go back to “L” city .. And resume my life , i mean what’s remained of it.
We walked in,side the building when i finally saw that silhouette wearing an old fashioned tuxedo of the man who ruined my life.
He turned to look at me.
And right at that moment .. I realised i wasn’t ready to meet him yet.

Episode 3

He turned to look at me.
And right at that moment .. I realised i wasn’t ready to meet him yet.
All those days i spent disgusted with my self, i didn’t think how should i react when i meet the person who raped me.
I wanted to jump on him and stab his eyes ..
Stab him everywhere!
Although i know i’m a religious girl and i should think about forgiveness and peace.
But god forgive me .. I wanted to just kill him right at that moment and go to hell feeling happy.
But my faith was still greater than my hatred.
I looked away because i couldn’t look at him .. And because it was so hærd for me to breath.
I calmed my self and gasped deeply for air.
There was two men standing with him. The first looked so much like him.. With an ugly smile missing most of his teeth although he looked in his early thirties.
He was so ski-ny with a pale face and dark circles around his eyes. He looked so sick.
Just one glance you’ll know he’s a drug addict.
I bet he’s the famous brother.
The second man looked more human .. I had no idea who he was.
We walked closer to them .. As soon as i was close enough . i spitted on that animal’s face and said coldly:
_” may god torture you in this life and in the after life. May you wish for death every single day but you don’t get it”
I didn’t care if he was going to strangle me after that .. I just wanted to curse him.
But he didn’t do or say a thing.
He didn’t even look at me.
We waited for a little while in the hallway until someone finally called us.
So we walked in.
I’ve been dreaming about this moment my wh0le life.
I imagined i’ll be wearing a pink beautiful outfit with classy high heels.
I’ll walk in,side this room with a radiant smile holding a bouquet of flowers .. Walking beside the man of my dreams.
But that didn’t happen.
Not the tiniest of it.
I was feeling so sad like if I’ve grown forty years older in few days.
Once purple then turning green bruises covered my face. My leaps were cut. My eyes full of tears.
I was wearing torn dirty clothes with drops of blood everywhere .. Because my family were so rushed to get rid of me that they didn’t even have the decency to bring me other clothes.
As for the person walking beside me.
He was the person i tried to avoid my wh0le life .. And the one who killed me eventually.
I was a wreck of a person .. A sacrifice to keep a bullshit honor.
When the responsible called my name and asked if i agree to marry that animal.
I said ” Ana Ak’bal” (i accept)
Fulfilling there wish to destroy what is remained of me.
He accepted to take me as a wife too .. Sparing him self from jail thanks to that.
Once we finished signing papers and what’s ever .. We headed out.
My old man looked at me from head to toes and then said disgustingly:
_” you go with your husband .. You’re no longer my responsibility now”
I laughed to tears.
And then i just ignored him.. walked to that moron called my brother and threatened:
_” you better give me my car keys.. Thank god i wasn’t stupid enough to write it on your name . hand me the keys or i’ll file a case of robbery”
He seemed shocked for a bit .. And then disdainfully he reached his hand to hit me.
That’s when that animal intervened and caught his hand in mid air:
_” don’t you dare raise your hand on my wife .. You have nothing to do with her any longer” he said coldly.
_” don’t call me your wife you animal.. I’m your nothing!” I shouted with tears in my eyes.
How dare he?
Am i this low of a piece of trash?
Yeah.. I’m so worthless to the point that my raper is now defending me.
I laughed between my tears as i threatened again:
_” i have nothing to lose anymore .. You give me the keys or i swear i’ll kill you”
I think i seemed scary enough to make him give me the keys right away as he walked further cursing me.
My brother and father left next .. Leaving me alone without any place to go to.
I looked at there backs as they walked away .. Admitting that i was left alone .. Like i always was.
_” you’re going with me to your new house .. I’m taking full responsibility” that trashy person said standing behind my back.
I turned to look at him in startle..
And then i raised my hand high in the sky .. And slapped him with all what was left in me of force.
Take responsibility!
To hell!
Where was his sense of responsibility when he flipped my life!
_” don’t show me your face any more” i added as i jumped in,side the car and started driving to only god knows were.
I drove around the city .. Randomly.. until there wasn’t any gas left .. So i parked to the side of the road.
And then i started crying heavily..
Why can’t i just put an end to my life ?
What is left for me to live for?
I have no family .. No pride .. No where to go to.
And then i remembered the beginning of all my problems.
My grandmother’s death.
It is funny in fact .. My grandmother was the father and mother to me . she was my most precious person.
And i lost so much these few days that her loss became insignificant.
I walked out of the car as i locked it .. And then i headed to the city’s cemetery.
Our town is so small that i can walk to every single place of it .. And it would take me about an hour at most.
Also, it’s so small that everyone knows everyone too.
So i was walking in the street .. Looking like a homeless when everyone was looking at me .
It is because of these looks and those judgments of them that i was abandoned when i needed help the most.
To hell with them all!
I finally reached the cemetery.. I asked the guard to take me to “Lala Zahia’s grave .. My grandmother’s.
She was so great of a person that i didn’t even need to tell him whose daughter she was .. Or what family she belonged to.
He soon led me to a grave to the eastern side near a pine tree.
Her grave.
He said she was a wonderful woman.
I know all about that .. I wouldn’t be treated this way is she was still alive.
After that, he red “el fatiha” ( a piece of Coran) with me on her soul.
And then He left me standing there alone mourning my loss.
I always saw people lie down on the dust of graves crying there hearts out when i visited cemeteries.
But i never realised how much can a person miss someone under this dust.
To the point tears refuse to stop.
To the point you wish the almighty god take out your life from you and revive that person under the ground.
I told her everything that happened with me as i cried incessantly.
And rested my head on her pure dust.
Begging god to have mercy on me .. And take my life.
When finally it was the dusk .. And there was no strength left in me . i decided to go back to my car.
I could hærdly walk..
I haven’t eaten properly in days.. And haven’t slept.
I was killing my self ..but i didn’t mind.
When i finally reached my car .. I stood few steps away. Looking at that silhouette in the dusk leaning on my car .. Of the man who i accepted to marry that morning.
He was staring at me .. Waiting till i reach him.
And although i wanted to shout and curse him for touching other things that belonged to me without my consent i felt so weak to do that.
I just turned to walk away.
But before i even go that far… My vision became blurry. Every piece of me became numb.
And then the image became darker as i fell to the ground.