Save Me

Save me episode 7 – 8

Save me episode 7

 

I held that golden Kaftan and went back to my room again.

And i put it on..

It didn’t exactly fit me because it was a bit short. And it was tight on me because i had a curvy body..

Yet i never felt happier with a dress like i was with that Kaftan.

Even if it was from my raper’s family.

I fixed my hair next … I just let it go down my back.

I covered a large bruise on my forehead with a cut.

And then i stared at my self for so long..

I always was beautiful. I knew that .. And i felt arrogant because of that.

I had all what an Arabic classic poet would write fascinated by : wide dark eyes .. Straight nose.. Full l-ips and rosy cheeks all gathered in a fair round face.

I had that long dark as a night straight hair .. And a body girls would fight to get.

And i admit .. My beauty didn’t make me anything but arrogant and cold towards men.

Because i wanted them to admire me for my beautiful manners and good brains.. And not because i looked good in a dress or charmed them when i smiled.

But unfortunately that rarely happened.. Although i put a religious Hijab and cover most of my beauty. They still didn’t see further than my face.

And this body i was proud of my wh0le life is ruined now.

_” you want some make up?” My sister-in-law whose name is Selma apparently asked as she looked at me with admiration.

_” yes please” i replied to her surprise.

I wanted them to be honored with me too ..

I’m not unjust, who treats me good .. I treat him better.

_” yes!! I’ll go bring you make up from a cousin of mine! I’ll be right back!!” She shouted excitedly as she stormed out of the room.

I went to bring my purse in the while .. Searching for the ring that animal gave me to put in my finger.

And i found it..

A thin circle of gold with some stone in the middle.

If this was a real marriage .. My mother would faint if she saw it and call the wedding off.

I smiled to that imagination. Admitting to my self that my family was always a typical family from the Algerian east.

So reach .. And so cold.

The only thing that mattered to them was to have much money and an honoring picture.

A raped daughter was never in their plans .. So they ditched me.

Funny.

Selma soon came back with some simple make up tools in her hands.

And then she sat by the bed holding a small mirror for me as she watched me apply them professionally.

_” you are so beautiful my sister” she blurted out dazing after sometime.

So i smiled in bittersweet remembering where my beauty led me and suggested:

_” you haven’t introduced you self to your sister yet though”

_” ooh i’m sorry .. My name is Selma and i’m 19 years old”

_” best of people ( this is an expression commonly used in Algeria .. Just like ” nice to meet you”) well, you sure know my name .. I’m 26″

_” sure i know it .. Who doesn’t know Hayat Knida! The oldest daughter of the Knida Family and the most beautiful and smart! Every girl in our small town looks up to you!”

_” i was that girl .. I’m not anymore” i hushed as a tear skipped my eyes “your brother has killed that girl”.

And then we both remained silent as i finished preparing my self.

At some time later .. My mother-in-law walked in,side the room with a wide smile decorating her old features

_” ma shaa allah .. You look like the moon my daughter” she hushed before ordering her daughter” go bring me some salt from the kitchen!!”

When Selma returned to the room again with a jar full of salt .. My mother-in-law grabbed a handful of it and then she turned her hand above my head in 7 circles to the left and then 7 circles to the right while i hærdly kept my laughter at her act

_” may the envious go to rubbish” she hushed as she walked out of the room probably to throw that salt in the toilet

( what the old lady did was a myth many people in Algeria believe it would keep away the envious eye)

As soon as she walked out of the room Selma bursted in laughter and hushed:

_” please don’t mind her”

_”it’s ok .. I take her as a real mother to me”

I do.

Because she did this because she thought of protecting me.

I felt happy with that in fact ..

Who knew that in the middle of the storm that flipped my life i would meet such people.

_” are you ready to go meet the women now ” my mother-in-law asked nervously when she came back.

_”Yes”

They soon led me to the living room with their Zagharid ( the scre-ms i explained before) .

It was larger than the room i was staying in..

With a beige painting with large s₱0ts of w-t near the ceiling.

It was stuffed with a wooden large closet in which i could see tea sets put neatly in,side showing through the glass.

But what terrified me was the hundred women sitting above mats thrown in the corners of the large room .. Leaving the middle for the women who tightened their wa-ists with belts and belly danced on the sound of gasba.

When they saw me coming they all stopped dancing and chatting.. And they all turned to look at me in one move.

For a moment i felt like i was a real bride who was introduced to people.. With Zagharid deafening my ears.

In the next i heard someone hushing:

_” look .. It’s knida’s old daughter who was raped.. They always bragged with their honor and now it’s ruined ..God is fair”

And only then i realised that the world is still the same shitty place where its “forbidden” for a raped girl to be happy.

Episode 8

”Is this your bride Lala Zbida?” Some old lady asked as if it wasn’t clear to the blind that i’m the bride.

Yet my mother-in-law replied proudly:

_” yes indeed .. The daughter of the honored ( an expression widely used to describe a respectful lady) ..may god keep her”

_” Amiine ( same as Amen) .. God bless her” some elderly women mumbled while my mother-in-law pushed me gently to go in.

As i walked further .. I could hear more women hush:

” look look.. Poor her .. Money and beauty but she ended up marrying the son of a murder”

“Look at that face and that figure. No wonder men raped her” .. “Poor her” .. “Poor fate”

I can’t quite understand these people , They come to someone’s house.. They make there selves suit a definition of a “burden”.. They eat and drink. And finally they say such words!

Although i wanted to kick out most of the women sitting in that room .. Yet i kept my composure and behaved my self like an arrogant lady.

Maybe the only thing i could learn from my mother was how to act like the cream on a pie despite being the garbage of the society.

They kept saying this and saying that.

Haha this and haha that.

Like if they were enjoying there time in the celebration.. Yet underneath their fake compliments and laughters they were eying us underneath their noses. Pointing to the cracks on the walls. And the old cold cement on the ground.

Once they all had dinner and there was no excuse for them to keep their fake show anymore .. They all dismissed them selves.

I could finally wipe the smile i printed on my face for so long. And get back to reality.

_” can i help you with that?” I asked Selma as i saw her stuck with the cleaning after them.

_”are you sure?” She asked surprised.

I looked at her weak figure .. At her beautiful as a moon face yet with dark circles of fatigue underneath her eyes and confirmed:

_” yes.. You look very tired. I would be unhuman if i let you do this all by your self”

She nodded to me thankfully as she handed me a large basket to collect the dirty dishes.

_”i’m really sorry for what my brother did sister Hayat .. I really feel ashamed to look at you .. You are not our level .. You deserve a better family” Selma suddenly blurted out as we were cleaning the dishes together.

_” you don’t have to apologize because you did nothing to me.. I don’t care about our deferences I really love your family. But i can’t accept to be a daughter to this house. Only god knows how much i hate that Animal. I can’t accept him as a husband”

_” i know .. I just wish things were different and you had a better life” Selma mumbled.

Although i never cared about money and names..

But She was right, if “Rami” had asked for my hand before all this had happened i wouldn’t accept.

Neither would my family..

In fact my silly brother would kick him out and shout:

“How dare you come ask a wife from your masters!”

I have to admit that “Rami” was indeed outstanding in high school.

When all girls liked the bad boy .. And were fascinated only by the good looks.

In high school .. Boys like “Rami Belarbi” wouldn’t leave the blondes and easygoing girls to look at the koran club leader.

Or the straight perfect score holder.

He wouldn’t look at me.

But when high school closes its doors behind us .. And we find our selves thrown in the adults world.

Boys like “Rami Belarbi” are no longer that charming.. As they were forgotten behind those doors.

And people like me start to shine then.

As twisted as this life has always been .. I have never thought that i will be married to him one day.

Never.

I was lost in my thoughts for some time, So When i was handing Selma some plate my hand suddenly slipped and i dropped it.

It broke to pieces as it touched the ground .. Making me wake up startled at the breaking loud voice:

_”i’m so sorry” i mumbled embarrassed as i bent down to collect the broken pieces.

_” it’s ok .. Just leave it__” Selma assured me but she was soon interrupted by my scre-m of pain as i hurt my index with some sharp edge.

_”wait here sister ..i’ll be right back!” Selma shouted looking terrified as she pushed me to stand up and put my hand in the clean water before leaving to probably get some bandage for me and cottons to stop the bleeding.

When i watched my blood leaking from the cut .. Polluting the water in the bucketful were we washed the dishes after we cleaned them .. All i could think about was:

” what a loss .. Now we have to clean these dishes all over again because of my stupid blood”

And right at that moment .. I realised how worthless i became in my eyes.

You know.. It’s killing to be worthless to people. To be thrown in the streets by those you could die for.

And to be neglected by those you could spend a life serving.

Because you suddenly realize that your life and death wouldn’t matter to anyone .. A parasite in this heartless world.

But at least you still cherish your self and still fight to live.

So when you realise that you became “no one” even to your self .. You know that you’re already dead.

As i was staring at the water.. I sensed a movement behind me. When i turned to see who that was.

I found Rami standing right in front of me ..

And he was looking at me from head to toes .. I felt like i was bared in front of him. Like the night i don’t remember.

I couldn’t even think . in split seconds i found my self holding a piece of the broken dish .

Waving it in front of his face .. Threatening hysterically:

_” go away! I’ll kill you if you come closer to me!”

_”put that down! I’m not hurting you..” He shouted.

I hated him .. I hated him so much i stopped thinking what i was doing.

For a moment i thought of all the things i could have had if he didn’t walk in my life. And i just wanted .. To kill him like he did to me.

So i run towards him with all my anger and frustration. Wanting to stab him..

I’m not a killer, i wouldn’t hurt an aunt.

But in that split second of absolute anger i couldn’t see clearly.. Nor judge sanely.

To gods mercy that animal was faster than me . he turned around me .. Hugging me tight from my back. And he held both my hands:

_” please calm down .. i won’t hurt you” he hushed in my ear .. As his disgusting breathes brushed the skin in the gap between my neck and shoulder.

When i heard his voice, my hold on the sharp broken piece became tighter making it cut right through my fingers .. And my palm.

As more blood leaked from my hand and dirtied the flour i begged him:

_” please kill me..”

I didn’t want to live .. Not even to put them in jail.

I wanted to have an end to my torture.

_” you have taken the most precious thing for me ..you have killed my soul.. Why didn’t you kill my body” i hushed again as my voice was choking in tears.

I fell on my knees .. Crying heavily in desperate. Wanting to stop breathing because i felt not worth of living.

He kept hugging me from behind.. Breathing so heavily as his hot continuous breaths kept hitting my skin making me more disgusted and angry.

But i didn’t find the strength in me to push him away.

Suddenly i felt these warm drops of water wetting my shoulder .. I felt his body tremble like a little bird and his choked sobs.

He was crying too.

And that was the first time i saw that jerk Rami Bellarbi cry.

_” forgive me..

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