Sweet But Psycho

Sweet but psycho episode 43

Sweet but Psycho 😽😽😽
🍹🍷 His perfect antidote 🍷🍹
💦 Story by: Bunmi B. Gabriel (BB) 💦
😋 Segment 43 😋
🍪🍘 Cookie 🍘🍪
I sang softly as I checked and bagged the customers goods. I worked in a supermarket as a cashier. I really love my job, it was fun meeting new people and finding out information about places that helped my siblings. The owner of the shop really loved me because according to what I was told, since I started working here as a cashier, more customers have been patronizing the supermarket. There was another supermarket across ours, boss told me he came to ruin his business with a bigger supermarket. So you know what I suggested for boss? Since my smile pulled a lot of people, we took photos of me smiling and holding products and made them into billboards placed allover Helsinki.
So eventually, I was pulling crowd in with my smile. I didn’t know why people loved it but since they did, who am I to judge? I don’t understand who am I but I do have a guess on what I am. I might be a criminal, like before I lost my memories. According to what Valería told me, how she found me and how I cleverly eliminated the men that captured me. Next, there was the wh¡p slashes on my back and the scar above my br-ast. I could barely see it but it was there. Three, my quick reflexes and agility and the urge to learn how to fight.
I read books, watched online videos to make me a better fighter, videos on all martial art and I even had a teacher who traveled but will be back. It was like my body and mind knew that I was in great danger and needed to be ready. I was afraid for my family, what would happen to them if truly my life was in danger. Thanks to the fact that Valería used to be in a gang, I was able to make her train more. Diego also got a share but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t be afraid for their safety. I love them, especially Valería for all she has done to make sure I survive; sleeping with a married man, quitting her job, leaving her home, selling all her properties and using up all her money to give me a comfortable life in Finland. She bought me new clothes, paid for every single thing I used on myself, even after I got a job to assist her.
She was a darling and I would do everything I can to make her happy and please with me.
She didn’t even know who I am, where I came from or who was after me, she just wanted me to have a normal life and be safe.
‘Thank you for banking with us,’ I sang to the pretty old lady as she took her bagged items. I was trying my best not to cry as I remembered all Lerry had done. ‘Do come back to patronize us and bring your friends.’
‘I sure will dear, thank you.’ She dropped a lot of money on the counter. I took the money and placed it in the till.
‘Hope you have a nice day,’
‘Keep the change,’ I giggled and smiled at the money.
‘You want to give me a wh0le €500? Is today Christmas?’
She laughed. ‘You’re welcome my dear,’ she took her bags and walked out.
‘Thank you ma’am!’
‘Stop thanking me!’
I dipped the money into my second back pocket which was already filled. I zipped it up and smiled at the next customer. He stared at everywhere but my eyes as he dropped his items; five tampons, two bags of diapers, fifteen baby milks… Tampons? ‘You are buying tampons?’
‘God, this is so embarrassing,’ he whimpered, pulling his hood over his face. ‘Just check this fast so I can get out of here.’
‘Why are you buying them? For your wife? What does she need tampons for? Isn’t she pregnant?’ I asked, looking at the diapers.
‘She already gave birth and that is why I am here, I came to visit her because her husband travelled.’
‘Husband you say?’ I smirked.
‘Fine, boyfriend.’
‘Are you Italian? Your accent…’
‘I was born and raised here but I studied in Italy. You speak Finnish?’
‘I speak Swedish fluently and understand Finnish a little.’
‘Oh, I don’t speak Swedish.’
‘So, what is she needing a tampon for?’ I asked as I checked the items.
‘What do you use tampons for?’
‘She just gave birth,’ I pointed out.
‘Does it mean she don’t bleed?’
‘Menstruate,’ I corrected. ‘And no, women who just gave birth don’t menstruate.’
‘Most of them start their menstrual circle the following month after delivering. You would have known that if you paid more attention in biology class or had enough brain to study medicine like I did.’
“I’m a doctor and a pilot…” The words flood into my head, making me whimper in pain as my head swirled and ears rang.
‘Miss, are you okay?’
‘Uhm, yeah,’ I mo-ned. ‘So, you said your sister had a baby?’
‘More like babies, an army of five females.’ I blinked in shock.
‘Five pooping time bombs?’
‘And crying too,’ he cried.
‘And you say her boyfriend travelled? Am I sensing a runaway father here?’
‘Exactly! That bastard have ran away leaving me to play father. He didn’t have any trouble when f-cking my sister and planting the babies in her. Now that the deed is done, he ran off to God knows where. I swear, when I catch him, I’ll squeeze his neck!’ He started cursing in Finnish and then switched to Italian.
‘Com’è lei?’ I chuckled. (How is she?) I asked him in Italian.
Can somebody tell me where I learnt Italian, Swedish and Finnish from? Mind I add I speak French, Spanish, Czech, Ukrainian and Lithuanian?
I am definitely a criminal.
He sighed. ‘Buono, at least she isn’t dead.’ (Good)
‘Babies?’
‘They can eat a wh0le house,’ he grumbled. I drummed my fingers and smiled.
‘There is just one thing you must do for me,’
‘Che cos’è?’ (What is it?)
‘See everything you bought here,’ I pointed at the bags. ‘See your price?’ I pointed to the cashier’s draft. ‘Dove sono i soldi?’ (Where is the money?)
He gasped and checked his pockets frantically. ‘I don’t know, I forgot my wallet.’
‘Sir, this is not a joke, where is my money?’
‘Te lo giuro, non ce li ho.’ He said with a playful frightened tone. (I swear to you, I don’t have it)
‘This is not a joke Mr. Man, start dropping before I execute you, proprio adesso.’ I threatened. He laughed and dropped his credit card with a bow.
‘Sì maestro,’ (yes, master)
‘Isn’t it maestri?’
He laughed. ‘Thank you, for making my day.’
‘You are welcome,’ I giggled and picked up the card. After getting the payment, I handed everything back to him. ‘Thank you for banking with me, do come back.’
‘Here,’ he dropped a €200 note on the counter. ‘Keep it.’
‘Humph,’ I took it and sneered. ‘Your age mates are giving me up to a thousand and you are here dropping common two hundred, you are a disgrace to the giver association.’
‘Give me my money back,’ I quickly shoved it into my front pocket.
‘Don’t worry, I will manage the small change.’
‘Yeah, right,’ he rolled his eyes with a smile. ‘Your problem is bigger than your head.’
‘And yours is five,’ I winked at him. He frowned and rolled his eyes.
‘Very funny Blondie,’
‘The actual colour of my hair is white,’
‘The original name is platinum blonde but I don’t expect you to know it, you don’t have sense.’
‘Sir, I’m likely to be twenty or twenty one, how old are you? Thirty?’ Since I didn’t have my memory, Diego concluded I was his age, twenty three. Although I suspect I’m nine, don’t you think so?
‘Three,’ he added.
‘My age is higher than your IQ,’ he reached over the large counter and flicked my forehead. I laughed and blew raspberry at him. He shook his head and walked away. ‘Bye tampon man!’ I shouted after him. He looked over his shoulder and glared dagger at me. He’s so cute.
The next customers came one by one until it was lunch time and the last person I was to attend to before I go for lunch break came. ‘Oh hello,’ I drawled smirkingly, leaning on the counter. ‘If it isn’t my old nemesis, still alive?’ He rolled his eyes. It was Broccoli, Diego’s best friend and fellow band mate. Diego was in a band and sang in most bars, restaurants and small parties. ‘Hi Broccoli.’
‘Again, it’s Brooklyn.’
‘Hello again, Broccoli.’
‘Why the f-ck do you keep calling me that!’
‘Why the f-ck is your head shaped like a broccoli!’ I exclaimed mockingly. He rolled his eyes and dropped the ten packs of delicious cookies.
‘Just have this bagged so I can get the hell out of here,’
‘You know, why do you keep coming here?’ I asked as I took the packs. ‘Do you love seeing my face or something?’
‘This was my favorite store before I knew you existed. In case you have forgotten, I got you this job because my brother owns this place.’
‘Or because you worsh¡p and adore me, oh, I’m flattered.’ I fanned myself.
‘Oh pe-lease, I rather fall in love with a dog.’
‘Didn’t you date one last month?’ I sniggered.
‘I forgot that ignoring you is the key to sanity,’ he said and inhaled.
‘If you had one to keep,’ I retorted. He totally ignored me.
My pride have never been more wounded.
‘Aren’t you done?’
‘Hold on,’ I sluggishly put the packs in a bag.
‘So, a little birdie told me that your crush is coming to Finland and you would be his maid for a week,’
Diego, that gossip.
I sneered. ‘Isn’t that rom-ntic, two lovers coming together to gossip about the grown up girl,’ he reached his hands forward and strangled the air. ‘Don’t worry, one day you will grow big enough to strangle the wind.’
‘I can strangle the wind whenever I want!’
‘See why I keep saying your brain existed you for China? It obviously knows you are too stupid and went to look for a new owner but I pity the new owner because both of you are birds of the same feather.’
‘One of these days, your badmouth would kill you.’
‘When that time comes, can I finally use your head to make broccoli soup? We will die together.’
‘Just give me my bill so I can get the f-cking hell out of here!’
‘Geez, calm down before your broccoli of a head explodes. No one wants bits of someone’s vegetable head splattered everywhere… Hey! I just thought about it, was your brain made out of seeds or onion? Or was it turnip? I call seed, you?’ I smiled with satisfaction at the red in his face, if he could me, he would. ‘I’m sure you wish to kill me now.’
‘I will gladly do so…’
‘In song form!’ I shrieked and started nodding my head. ‘I rather be shining
Like a treasure from
A sunken pirate wreck
Scrub the deck
And make it look shining!
I will sparkle like
A wealthy woman’s neck
Just a sec…’
‘Urgh! You are so…so…so…’
‘Annoying, that’s the word you are looking for.’
‘Insufferable!’
‘Tut tut tut,’ I clicked my tongue. ‘You see, you can call me that without adding adorably to it. Here, since you have speech disorder due to your lack of brain, I’ll teach you how to speak. Repeat after me, adorably insufferable. Start slowly so you won’t bite your tongue.’
‘Give me that,’ he snarled, snatching the bag which only had seven packs. I stole three already. ‘Remind me to get you fired.’
‘I’m sorry,’ I said like I was scared. ‘I have a big favorite to ask,’
‘What?’
‘Can I take your hand? Please?’ I battered my lashes. He stared at me suspiciously but couldn’t throw away my puppy look. He gave me his hand, I quickly took my pen and signed an autograph for him. ‘There, to my least favorite fan.’
‘Now you have ink allover my hand, do you know how long it takes to wash one off? To get the gems away?’ Note, he is a super super PhD holder clean freak.
‘I’ll clean it…’
‘No…’ Too late, I spat on his palm and smeared it everywhere. ‘No! The agony!’ He shouted in dismay. He redrew his hand when I let him and scre-med, tears running down his cheeks. ‘I will never be clean again! Why!’ He started crying as he poured his entire sanitizer on his palm, not caring where he was. I watched with utter satisfaction. ‘You are evil! Now I have to spend three hours disinfecting my hands and entire body!’
‘Use acid, it works faster.’
‘Witch!’
‘When I was five, my mom reasoned that since my head wasn’t in the shape of a vegetable, Dora would be nice.’ I said sweetly. He glared at me.
‘You are evil.’
‘You better run home before that dries up and millions… No trillions of bacteria crawls up your veins, slip into your head and infect your brain…oh wait, you don’t have on no more.’ I laughed.
‘I will get you fired!’ He shouted before running off.
‘Look on the bright side! I haven’t brushed my teeth since yesterday!’ I heard him scre-med with fright after I said that. I slapped my lap as I laughed.
Why am I so annoying?
My eyes blurred out, like I found myself somewhere else, a small restaurant.
“Good evening and welcome to Pasta Castle lá Beef Feast…”
“Huh?” I asked.
“We sell more pasta and meat related foods, I don’t know, I’m not the owner so what can I get you? You are welcome to be the first few to try our new spaghetti recipe.”
“No, we are good. Cookie?” Cookie? Who’s Cookie? Who is saying that? I tried to look at the guy’s face but his face was blank, empty.
“I’ll have three tenderloin steaks with chilli or bearnaise sauce, chateau mashed potatoes, extra cheesy burgers; two to be precise and two apple cheesecake – don’t know if you have those – one blueberry yogurt or any yogurt at all and chocolate mud cakes for dess**t. Got that?” She stared at me with mouth open. “Helloooo,” I snapped my fingers at her face.
She shook her head. “Ma’am, are you sure you don’t want something like a garden salad, veggie burger, something lighter?”
“I’m sorry, are you the one eating it?”
“I’m sorry, we don’t have apple cheesecake,”
“Then replace it with a cauldron size ice cream sundae with lot of cherries on top,” I said with excitement. I looked at the faceless guy and shrugged. He had his palm on his chin as he stared at me with mouth slightly parted.
How coke I can see his mouth but still no face?
“What? I love food.”
“Sir, will you order anything?” She asked with shock on her face too. I rolled my eyes and kicked his legs under the table.
“No way!” He shouted. “You are not eating all those in one sitting.”
“But…”
“Make it zero dess**t, one chateau mash potato and two tenderloin steaks with just bearnaise sauce.”
“Why,” I whined. “You promised me dinner,”
“I promised you dinner, not something that will send you to a mortuary, what the f-ck do you take your stomach for? Indestructible!” He snapped.
“Are you the owner of the stomach, how is it your business.” I said with a childish annoyance.
“Well, not with my money, get a job.”
“And who told you I am poor,” I snorted. “I have a café…hey! I haven’t checked on my café because of you!”
“Please, get me what I order…” I was back at the store, my head spinning as I tried not to fall.
What was that!
I held my beating heart, who was that?
~
~
~
I combed my hair as I sang in the restroom. I was giving myself one final touch up before I leave for home. The walk from here to home is a long one and you can never tell when you will meet your future husband.
‘I’ve got something to confess
Now I know exactly what happened
And even though it hurts
I’ve got to accept
That you’re not the bad one
That would be me
You never really got to know me
And the magic that made you fall in love
it’s gone
I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes
‘Cuz your only mistake was meeting me…’ Two ladies walked in, one worked in the supermarket too. I continued singing as I combed my hair with my fingers.
‘It’s not you
It’s not you
It’s not you, it’s me
Don’t want to hurt you
It’s better to forget and leave it be…’
‘I’m so lucky, my sister lives in the building which his penthouse is. She is a tenant in his block of flats. I will move in with her tomorrow so I might get an opportunity to meet him.’
Who?
‘The building will be more heavily guarded than before, especially since he is a good friend to the president. He would want to protect such an important person…’
‘I don’t care! Even if I have to sleep with all his guards to get a night with him, then I will.’ The one working in the store shouted desperately.
‘Ame is not an easy man to get…’
My Ame? How dare she!
No one owns you Dora… My subconscious said.
Again, I found myself in another place… “So, I’m not sitting here,” faceless guy said with a ironic smile.
“…No, we are not. Don’t ever flirt with any man or I will shoot them,” he whispered.
“As my what, possessive boyfriend or overprotective father,” I scoffed.
“As the owner of your body.”
“Nobody owns me, you hear that? I will flirt with whoever I want and I don’t care if you kill them, that’s your own problem.” My head spun again as my memory flashed. I held the bathroom sink tight for support and continued singing to ignore the pounding in my head.
‘Ok, I don’t really
Really wanna fight anymore
I don’t really, really
Wanna fake it no more
Play me like The Beatles
Baby, just let it be
So come on
Put the blame on me, yeah…’ I sang louder.
‘I heard he has a new girl now, one he actually loves. I wish I was that lucky bitch.’ I felt my heart cringe so I increased my pitch.
‘It’s not you
It’s not you
It’s not you
It’s me…’
‘Can you stop singing Dora?! We are trying to talk here!’
‘All you need is a k-ss
All you need is a k-ss
That k-ss I always promised you
Put the blame on me…’
‘Dora!’
‘All you need is a k-ss
All you need is a k-ss
That k-ss I always promised you
Put the blame on me.’ I finished my song and finally turned to them.
‘What the hell is wrong with you!’
‘Gossip,’ I corrected. ‘You are trying to gossip. Let me give you a word of advice. Since you want to sleep with his army of men, try sleeping with his dogs too. By the time they toss you over to him, you will be be nothing but juiceless, slack and old with br-asts completely s-cked out and that would probably be in thirty years.’
She scoffed. ‘I know you want him too but men like him wouldn’t want a psycho like you.’
‘Didn’t your all sweet boyfriend dump you for a better stick than you? What makes you think Ame would want you if that worm could leave you?’
‘Listen Miss…’ The other girl tried to intervene but I raised my hand signalling her to shut up or I face her.
‘Now I see why that bloviating narcissist ditched you, you are a public toilet.’
‘Miss,’ the other lady said, holding my crying colleague.
‘I am better than you! I have a boyfriend!’ Colleague girl shouted in tears.
‘Had,’ I corrected. ‘Make use of past tense and I am not the one willing to sleep with a dog.’ I rolled my eyes.
‘At least my chances of getting him is higher than yours!’
‘Did I indulge in any discussion where I stated out a plan on throwing myself at a man? Let me see…’ I stroke her chin. ‘That will be a no. You might want to wear a better perfume that wouldn’t make you smell like you were removed from a jar of sp**m. Good men don’t like leftovers,’ I eyed her with a sly smirk. ‘Especially expired ones who can’t mange a man more than a week.’
‘Stop insulting her!’ The other one shouted. ‘It is none of your business!’
‘It became my business the moment she called my name. Next time, make sure you can handle me before calling my name.’ I flicked my hair and winked at them.
‘Bitch,’ the other one cursed.
‘That’s right, I’m a bitch. This my dear is what you are…’ I trailed off, grabbed my bag and turned around. I twerked a little for them, a scattered irritating twerk to prove my point. I looked over my shoulder at her crimson face.
‘Y…’
‘Huh?’ I asked with a threatening tone, turning around to face them. She shut her mouth up. ‘Good girl. You might want to soothe your poodle over there and get her more hair.’ With that said, I spun on my toes and walked out. I went to boss, baled him bye and some few workers before walking out. Immediately I walked pass the door, I found myself back at the small restaurant.
“I had a dog once , his name was Rex and he tried to steal my food, I shot him in the head.”
This faceless guy again!
“And what was that for!” He snapped. “You were flirting with a common waiter right at my face!” I swallowed my food calmly and smirked.
“What were you doing with the girl?” He opened his mouth to talk but shut it back. “There, we are even.”
Even? Were we dating?
“Yolanda is asking after you,”
Yolanda!
Yolanda!
“Vee! Stop touching my b-obs!” A little girl’s voice shouted in my head.
“You don’t have any, Yolanda.” I heard myself laughing. I staggered back. The door slid open again, I held onto it for support.
“Cookie, I’m talking to you,” Who is Cookie? “Cookie!”
“What?” I snapped back.
“Can we not fight?”
“Can you eat with me? If you want us to talk, eat with me.”
“I don’t want to eat,”
“Then leave me alone,”
‘Dora!’ I heard Diego shout before my head hit the ground but that didn’t stop the ringing and voices. I closed my eyes but I could still hear and see it.
“So, Coco, right?”
“I just thought about it, you are the coco to my cookie,”
“The bullet that ends your cookie…”
“We agreed we won’t fight,”
“I wuv you Coco,”
“Cookie,” he whined. “I’m being serious here.”
“Fine fine fine,” I said raising my hands up in surrender.
Diego’s voice came again. ‘Stop trying to remember or you would kill yourself!’
‘I’m not! It’s coming on it own and it hurts.’ I cried. He lifted me up and took me to his car which happens to be mine because Valería bought it for me. I let him drive because I prefer enslaving him to become my driver.
“I’m a busy man Cookie, both as a business tycoon on the outside and a mafia on the in,side.” He said softly, in a way only I could hear him.
Mafia? I was dating a mafia?
“Listen here Coco…” He winced. “If I’m going to shut up, then you just gotta do what I say, that’s the deal.”
I saw myself at the restaurant again.
“For God sake Cookie!” He exclaimed, finally breaking. “A wh0le me is in a f-cked up restaurant with your f-cking self making a bargain when I can easily just cut off your tongue or kill you!” I picked up my yogurt and took a long loud slurp with innocent twinkles of my eyes. “Don’t mess with me here! I’ve been trying to play the calm one but you are bent on frustrating me! Do you think it’s easy for me to condescend to such level and chat nicely!”
“You forgot to mention your names,” he banged his head on the table with frustration. I reached forward and patted his shoulder. “There there Coco, I feel your paAAH!” I scre-med when he suddenly sprang forward to strangle me. His hands froze inches from my neck, his teeth sunk into his lip. “It’s a sin to strangle people Coco, a big one. If you want to kill someone very badly, use a frying pan.” He fell back on his chair and face palmed himself.
“I hate you.”
“I wuv you the Coco of my life,” I sang. He dropped his hands, his eyes were red with anger, a creepy menacing smile on his face.
“You little annoying p*ssy,” I smirked at him and shrugged.
“A delicious one men crave for,” he cursed under his breath knowing that won’t hold me.
Wow, I’m so annoying.
‘Yes Valería, a severe one.’ Diego said over the phone, I could tell he was driving. I rest my head on the window and smiled, loving the voice of the man. Whoever he was, I must have really loved annoying him.
I let the memory flow, didn’t fight it again.
“Why do you easily adapt to things! How am I going to get under your skin without yelling and behaving like a mad man!” He yelled again. I slurped my drink through my straw again and nodded proudly with a wide hilarious smile.
“I’m insufferable, I love me so much for being me.”
“Twitchet,” he spat.
“Is that suppose to annoy me? Come on Coco, you can do better than that. Even men with balls have much more better combat,” that did it. His eye, lip and ear twitched as he stared at me murderously. I indirectly called the dude impotent.
I saw his face and again, I didn’t see it. It was complicated.
I saw myself slowly slide to my feet and dropped my half finished drink. “Pay the bills and if you want to explode, do it outside, people here will die. Also, Coco, have anyone ever told you your face resembles a cow’s br-asts?” He sneered as steam came out of his nostrils and ears. “Well, I just thought you should know, byeeeeeee.” I sprinted out, too far, too far!
“Cookie!!!” I heard him thunder from in,side.
I saw myself running for my life.
“Cookie!!!” I heard him shout again when I was far away from the restaurant. Adrenaline pumped by fear kicked in and made my feet run so fast I felt like I was flying on air.
He loves me, he’s the flavor of my cookie, he will never hurt me… I heard myself telling someone as I ran.
Oh really? Then why are you running?
The memory stopped flowing in and the headache slowly died down. I might not have recovered my memories but I got five information through that painful memory:
1. I was born annoying.
2. I might have been dating a man and was probably in love with him.
3. I was dating a mafia so I am a criminal.
4. His name might be Coco.
5. My name is Cookie.
To be continued.
😋 Na small small, abi?
Her memories are returning slowly.
Cookie is going to meet Ted again soon.
Anticipate.

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