Tears of a Helpless Woman


© Pauline Mumbi

“Honey are you OK?” Shane asked me.
“I’m ok honey. I’m just tired” I responded.
“You’ve barely touched your food” he said.
I just lost it and tears ran down my face.
“Honey what’s wrong?” He asked me again.
My heart bled to think that he was suffering for what he didn’t know. I was crying for someone else and here he was comforting me.
“I just can’t believe how life has changed.. God has been too good to me” I lied.
“Awwwww dry your tears. I love you honey and I promise to spoil you in California” he said
Shane and I checked into first class in readiness for my flight on a Saturday morning. I was so happy and I couldn’t wait to be in a different world. All through the flight Shane told me about his place and showed me a lot of pictures.
Flying was something else and to think that I had to be on the plane for hours was just crazy.
When we landed it was dark but the lighting alone was clear that I was in a different world. It was just unbelievable stepping into the white mans land.
“God you have allowed my eyes see the beauty of your creation.. I Mwansa a simple house help” I said as tears flowed.
We checked into a beautiful hotel although we had separate rooms. Shane and I had no intentions of being intimate.
The following day I was very tired and I continued sleeping until afternoon when we went to view some places. I was very happy to meet Shane’s friends and knowing his side of life made me feel special.
I got embarrassed a couple of times as things were just so different but thanks to Shane who was supportive, I was never out of place
Going to Vegas wasn’t part of the plan but as usual Shane is full of surprises. By the time we clocked 3weeks I had been to Hollywood, Vegas and to top it all we made a flight to Italy just to visit within the holiday before going back to California.
I really thought I had it all … I actually almost had it all but through all this I was broken in,side. I couldn’t just forget Atusaye.
Even though Shane got me so much, my heart longed for that one man who gave me love. Atusaye showed me love before I knew any other
One morning as I was just from my morning work out Shane told me we had a trip to make. I wasn’t sure what else to expect as I had seen it all. I had shopped from the best stores and even dined in the best restaurants. So what could be better?.
“Honey just tell me where we are going I can’t guess anymore” I said.
“Trust me my love, have I ever disappointed you?” He asked me.
So once again I was packing and this time I had 7 bags of clothes and shoes. We flew on a private plane to a city that was still unknown to me until we landed.
“Welcome to Paris? Are we in Paris? I asked Shane with excitement.
” yes honey we are” he said.
I scre-med and jumped on his masculine body.
Everyone at the airpot must have thought I was out of my mind.
“Honey our holiday will end here before we go back home” he said.
We checked in to a
lovely hotel and as usual maintained our separate rooms.
Shane told me he had a surprise for me but I wondered what it was. Being in Paris was a surprise on its on. Really what could top that?.
I was in my room watching TV and updating shots on Instagram when I got a delivery.
I didn’t order anything but the delivery lady was positive that it was mine.
“OK mum let me at least check it before I sign.” I responded.
The parcel was in a big box and in,side was s black laundry bag and it looked like an expensive dress.
“Am I going to meet the Queen?” I asked as I giggled.
I just finished unzipping the bag and my mouth was now jaw drop.
“Its a wedding dress” I muttered.
“Yes it is madam and if you check the other box must have jewellery” she said.
I quickly opened it and just like she said i found the expensive jewellery.
I couldn’t believe what was happening and I quickly rushed to his room only to find his bed decorated in petals with the words “will you marry me?”
As usual tears rushed down as Shane appeared from the bathroom and knelt down before me.
Shane pulled out a box from his pocket and said to me.
“Honey.. If you accept this ring on your finger I will be the happiest man on the planet. Will you marry me Mwansa?. He said.
I wanted to stage a funeral to mourn Atusaye and I really wanted to escape but I once escaped and what happened?
I shut my eyes as tears fell down my eyes.
” yes I will marry you” I said slowly.
Shane slipped the ring on my finger and he hugged me really tight.
“I love you” he whispered.
I couldn’t lie to God or myself so I avoided saying those words back to him.
“I thank God for you” I said.
“I wanted us to have a surprise wedding here and everything was underway but mum wasn’t pleased so I guess we will wed home in zambia” he said.
I was so relived I think if Shane threw a surprise wedding I would have just died.
“But I promise to give you a Paris wedding afterwards” he said.
I took a deep sigh.. Not of relief but of thought. It’s funny how freedom is not really free.
I was now carrying a ring equivalent to two mansions on my finger and the thought of Atusaye had to fade. I had to accept fate.
I had to give up. Shane was too much. He was just too much. Atusaye did not have a chance. Or was I wrong?..
See you on my wedding day. Z
ambia here we come…
 To be continued … 
NEXT episode 20)                                                                                     PREVIOUS (episode 18)
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