Tears of a Helpless Woman


© Pauline Mumbi

Atusaye and I travelled to the united States with the
Martin’s to celebrate our engagement but most
importantly, I wanted to get a princes wedding
gown by Pinina and I found the perfect dress.
I didn’t know what to put together when planning for
the special day, all along i knew I wanted a fairytale
wedding but the time finally came and I was blank.
Clara suggested she knew a planner who could help
and she was right. The man knew what he was
I was so calm through the planning process, no
stress whatsoever. I was just glad that i was
getting married to the man of my dreams.
Despite everything I went through, I really wanted to
have my uncle walk me down the aisle.
Unfortunately he was still in prison so Mr. Martins
took that gap and filled in for the father I never had.
The morning of the wedding was so peaceful, I
woke up feeling very emotional. I couldn’t believe I
was finally going to be with the love of my life, i
had really suffered and now I was a few hours away
from being a wife.
Atusaye was just that gift I needed from above and
he came at the perfect time.
The matron who happened to be Mrs. Martin’s was
very helpful. She made sure I was dressed on time
and she kept me calm. She also made sure
everything was sorted.
We spent a night at Clara’s house, she hosted us
and took care of our sleeping and food
arrangement. I was marrying into a wonderful family
that was so selfless and this was comforting,
despite what the devil ploted in Nigeria, I managed
to reconcile with Clara and my mother in-law.
Joy and faith were in charge of makeup and they
worked their magic on our faces while keeping
mindful of time as they too were on the lineup. My
bridesmaids included Clara, Joy, Faith and Joy
(Atusaye’s sister)
When we were all ready I gathered all my bridal
party in one place because i had something
important to say.
“I would like to thank you all for being a part of my
life, each one of you has had a very important part
to play in my life. As you know my life has been a
roller coaster, I’ve had so many ups and downs..
The downs being many but all in all I thank God.
Today I want to thank God because he has shown
his mercy. I know marriage is not easy but with
God at the centre i know i will enjoy every moment.
I want us to pray.. Please pray for me as I take this
journey” I said emotionally.
“I agree my dear and I think we should pray now
and for your husband too. I know my brother and I
have no doubt he will make you a happy wife.” Mrs
Martin’s said as she rubbed my shoulder.
Clara spread a mart in the bedroom and I knelt
down there while my bridesmaids surrounded me
as they held hands. Mrs. Martin’s led into a strong
prayer and everyone joined in, it was strong,
powerful and touched every area including our
unborn children.
When Mrs. Martin’s concluded the prayer a breath
of fresh air filled the room and I was calm and
peaceful. It was finally happening… I was going to
get married in less than an hour.
Mrs Martin’s dropped my veil and handed me my
bouquet, the most emotional part of my morning
was being covered under the veil.
As I slowly walked out my bridesmaids ululated.
My heart was overjoyed. This was me… Mwansa
Yande finally getting married, leaving behind the
horrible life I had led. Each step reminded me of
the small chicken run I grew up in. The smell of
chicken feed and chicken manure came back.. The
faith and hope I had in having a better life clouded
my mind, the sleepless nights, tears and hungry
days. If this God isn’t to be praised then I don’t
know who deserves the praise.
I was a maid in ripped clothes without anything to
my name but now I was not only independent but
also getting married to a wonderful man. I was an
outcast but God still saw it fit that I be called his
Who wouldn’t want to serve a God like that?.
As the vehicle moved all I could think about was
Atusaye, I couldn’t wait to see his face and his
look. Mrs Martin’s sat next to and she kept
reminding me to breathe and take in the moment.
The vehicle finally pulled over at the venue of the
marriage blessing ceremony.
When I was informed the bridesmaids had settled
in,side my heart suddenly started racing but I had to
be calm.
Mr. Martins came to open the door and he held my
hand . We slowly walked to the chapel entrance.
“You’re nervous relax” Mr Marin’s whispered as we
stood at the entrance. The bridesmaids had just
made their way in and it was almost our turn to
As I stared at the chapel door and imagined just
how Atusaye was smiling it made me feel better
and calm.
The doors slowly opened and the celebrant asked
everyone to stand up to welcome the bride…… The
bride who happened to be myself. Mwansa Yande
was finally going to be a wife.
The keyboard finally started to play “here comes the
While holding on to Mr Martin’s we walked slowly
into the beautifully decorated chapel. Just how I
imagined it, the ceremony was peach and white.
Material hang from the ceiling and it looked
My princess Pinina wedding gown was glowing with
the crystals flashing as people admired. The neck
piece and tiara were all sh¡pped from the USA…..
just simply amazing.
I looked up to peep and Atusaye was facing the
front, he clearly heard not to look behind until he
was asked to. I could see his hands make fists as
if he was nervous.
“Awwww he must be anxious” I thought
“Who gives this Lady away in marriage?” The
celebrant asked.
“I do” Mr martins replied.
When Atusaye got my hand from Mr. Martin’s I got
so emotional but I contained the tears.
“You look gorgeous honey” he whispered
I smiled hearing those wonderful words coming
from my husband to be.
It was a beautiful service, the preaching touched my
heart. Atusaye kept stealing glances at me and we
smiled at each other often all through the service.


ATUSAYE:: One boring afternoon I took a drive to
relax my mind and refresh my thoughts. Little did I
know that drive was going to be the beginning of
something beautiful. That day i met a young lady,
She looked very tired and frustrated with life. To me
she was a diamond in the rough and I believed it
the first time I set my eyes on her. From that
moment I knew she was no ordinary girl and I told
God if I drove back and found her there then I
would be taking her home with me. I quickly
informed my sister of this young lady I had finally
found to help her with the chores. She agreed
without hesitating and just like God had planned
it…. I found her there. Mwansa
my love no amount
of pain that life has thrown at me has or can
succeed in changing my feelings for you. Today I’m
joining myself to you accepting that you are the only
woman destined for me. I promise to love and
always stand by you, through hærd times and good
times. I can’t afford to be away from you any longer
my love. My promise to you is eternity of
togetherness through the the laughter and the tears.
I was emotional hearing Atusaye recite those words,
knowing they came straight from his heart made it
even extra special.
The celebrant extended the mic towards me.
“I wouldn’t want to be you right now … The
pressure is on” the celebrant teased.
The congregation laughed and ululated. Indeed the
pressure was on, how could I ever top the beautiful
vows Atusaye made.
I cleared my throat and smiled. I knew Atusaye
could see the smile from my veil because he
smiled too.
MY VOWS:: My love Atusaye.. you showed me a
new side of life.
# The emotions were too many so i stopped a little
to gather myself #
“Breath honey” I heard Atusaye whisper.
Its like his words triggered the emotions more and
tears trailed down.
I smiled trying to block the tears but it was too
“Atusaye you got me my first brand new dress as
opposed to the hand me downs I grew up wearing.
The first time I ever smelt good, you were behind it.
You washed the dirt out of me and gave me
courage to pursue my dreams… Just that alone
gave me drive to work hærd and one day be able to
afford my own clothes and perfume. Today.. I can
testify that God is indeed able. He really is faithful
and because of him today I am getting married to
my best friend, my motivator, my confidant and the
most courageous man I know. He is my rock loving
and shielding me through every storm. This man
standing opposite me has taught me to love and
trust again”
At this time tears had already flooded my face and
I was shaking.
Atusaye equally broke down and the celebrant asked
for a moment of silence to allow us calm down. It
was very emotional.
“God if I had to do this over again I would choose
this path again” Atusaye whispered in between the
The celebrant was amazed at the love we expressed
for each other and he challenged the guests to
believe in love. He said::
“True love is patient and overcomes every storm”
“What can I say? Who am I not to bless this union?”
The celebrant added
The rings were brought forward by Joy (Atusaye’s
sister) who was my maid of honour. Having
blessed the rings the celebrant handed one ring to
Atusaye and asked him to repeat the vows of
As Atusaye held the ring towards my finger I could
tell he was still very emotional.
“Mwansa take this ring as a sign of my love and
fidelity, in the name of the father and of the of the
holy spirit”
The crowd cheered really loud and now it was my
turn. I kept reminding myself that it was really true
and that it was really happening.
Holding the ring toward his finger I repeated the
“Atusaye take this ring as a sign of my love and
fidelity, in the name of the father and of the son
and of the holy spirit. Amen”
The ululating was loud as people clapped and
congratulated us.
The certificate was presented before us and we
signed it with Mr and Mrs Martin’s standing as
The moment everyone was waiting for finally came.
The celebrant cracked a few jokes before asking
Atusaye to unveil his bride.
“Atusaye as you unveil you bride say these words
after me….”
“Bone of my bone, flesh of my flash.. Her name is
Mwansa Ruhai” Atusaye recited as he unwrapped
my veil.
“Ladies and gentleman by the power invested in me,
I now introduce to you for the first time Mr and Mrs
The crowd rolled with cheers and laughter as
Atusaye and i k-ssed.
Well I must say that k-ss was one of a kind.
We both burst into laughter after the k-ss because
Atusaye wore all my l¡pstick.
And just like that I was officially Atusaye’s wife.
We had just finished having lunch at Clara’s house
after the studio photoshoot, it was almost time for
the reception.
Atusaye and i had a table set out for us privately
where we had our lunch and the rest of the bridal
ate in the dinning room.
“Honey I need to change into my second dress” I
said to Atusaye.
“Oh that’s great then let me esc-rt you” he
“Honey??” I responded shyly.
“What? I am your husband..” he insisted as he
winked at me.
He had a silly smile on his face and he kept
“Oh honey stop it…. Can I at least worry about that
after the wedding.. Please let me go alone” I
Atusaye was clearly amazed by my persistence and
it just made him more eager to esc-rt me but he
finally let me have my way.
“You better get used to this arrangement” he
The thought of just sharing a bed with Atusaye that
night killed me and I wished the reception could
last forever. I was so nervous
I had just finished changing into my second dress
in readiness for the wedding reception when I
walked out to meet Atusaye, he was blown away
and kept reminding me how beautiful I was.
“Honey I hope you are ready to dance because am
ready to jive” he teased.
“I got two left feet but we got this” I giggled.
We finally arrived at the beautiful Ananda lodge
where our wedding reception would take place.
Outside we could tell the guest were aware of our
arrival from the loud scre-ms and ululating
The grand entrance into the reception got everyone
on their feet, Little had I known Atusaye’s feet had
great rhythm.
The audience was taken by surprise seeing how my
husband and I killed it on the dancefloor.
It was a day to definitely remember and we gave
the media something to talk about.
The favourite part of the reception was cutting into
the gorgeous 15tier velvet wedding cake, the k-ss
and finally our dance to the theme track of our
relationsh¡p “hold on by Israel”.
That wasn’t the best part yet.
The master of ceremony surprised the crowd
including my self when he asked me to stand and
sit on a chair that was place at the centre of the
The lights went off for a few minutes and when they
went back on, Atusaye and his groomsmen were
standing in front of me, they had removed their
jackets but had put on hats.
” what’s going on?” I whispered to Atusaye.
Suddenly a track by Runtown “mad over you” started
playing and the men started their routine.
Awwww …….. it was so rom-ntic seeing Atusaye
slide from one direction to the other in
what seemed like a Michael Jackson inspired
The wedding sealed off with our send off track
“unajaila” the danceable version by Tiye p featuring
I am just a blessed girl. Blessed beyond mans

To be continued…

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