The Candle In The Wind
Oh my goodness!
Oh my God!
I looked at her.
She wasn’t crying
She had tears in her eyes but they were not falling. She looked really worn!
I stood up, removed my long evening gown and thank God my undies were moderate enough, I set to work even as I cried ‘Oh my God!” repeatedly.
After rearranging the furniture and returning the books to where they were supposed to be, I hung the neat clothes and dumped the dirty ones in the large laundry baskets. I saw a vacuum cleaner.
There is even a vacuum cleaner? Oh my God!
I ignited the machine and it swallowed all the dirt on the floor for me.
I went to the bed and faced mummy pastor.
“Mummy, let me lay the bed” I said and she sighed, held the pole on which the bed lamp hung with great difficulty and then stood up. I saw that protruding tummy.
The dream flashed back to my memory!
She’s pregnant for real! Oh my God!
I pulled a plastic chair for her and she sat inside it with care.
As I pulled the large, heavy white-turned brown duvet off the bed, I saw already used tissue papers. Some were very dry, some were still wet.
I dumped the duvet into one of the laundry baskets and the tissue papers fell to the ground- they could make a rug!
She must have cried loads and from the look of things, it didn’t just start yesterday.
By the time I was done with the laying of the bed and all, the five large laundry baskets were filled and the dustbin was filled as well.
“Carry everything and drop them outside the room. Abigail would come and get them outside. This is the first time anybody would enter this room apart from my husband. Even my children are not allowed to. I just needed an urgent help and my spirit pointed at you. Thanks so much.” She said and I could only nod as I did as instructed.
I then pulled the curtains, dusted the window panes, sprayed the air-freshener and switched on the split air conditioner while I wore my gown again.
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I shook my head and my jaws dropped.
“Mummy, it’s time to get back into bed” I said again and she tried to stand up but couldn’t. I went closer to her and pulled her up.
Oh how light she felt in my hands!
As she hid under the new laid duvet, she signaled for me to sit down on the chair adjoining the bed which I did.
I was not happy!
What exactly was happening?
What’s the smiling pretense?
Does she think I am a baby?
“Sister Precious, could I perhaps call you Precious?” she asked, humbly and my heart softened and I forced a smile
“Definitely ma” I replied and she smiled again
“Thanks my daughter.” She said and looked into my face. I looked into her eyes as well
That was all I saw- No hope whatsoever!
She took my hand and though her hand seemed beautiful and fresh on the outside, it was scaly as she touched me.
“It seems that you know something about me, Precious” she said and I was shocked
“Ma, I don’t know anything o, nothing!” I retorted quickly.
What was she saying?
“That Sunday, you were shouting my name, looking for me all over the church. You even screamed ‘She’s alive’ when you saw me. That?” she looked at me with a ‘So, what are you saying’ kind of look and I shook my head.
“Ma…” I was saying when she cut me short.
“During the marriage committee session, while I was talking, why did you look into my eyes so penetratingly? Tell me if you know something please. I need to know” she squeezed my hand as she pleaded, tears streaming down her face.
What do I have to say now? I really don’t know anything at all.
“Precious, when you look into my eyes as you do, what do you see? Please tell me. I am sure you know something. Tell me exactly what you see that others don’t. What you see that my fellow women leaders don’t, what exactly you see that even my children don’t. What you see that my…my…even my…my hus…husb…husband doesn’t see” She pleaded further, stuttering greatly and I shook my head regrettably.
Exactly what I wanted to know!
Something was very wrong and no one knew- not even my pastor!
But what’s it?
This suspense is killing me Lord Jesus!
She smiled again and I could not help but speak my mind.
“Mummy, for real, all I see is fear, loneliness, frustration, pain, hurt, despondency, dejection, depression. All I see on a closer look is negativity mum! That’s all I see and I don’t understand why it should be so” I blurted out. I was tired of seeing her that way. She looked so weird.
Even her haircut was scary…bare!
Her big tummy
Her untidy room
Her hurtful face
Oh how much beautiful and expensive attires cover the problems of so many people!
We only look at their attires and envy them
We look at the hats and say, oh beautiful!
Not knowing that a sorrowful bare head hides underneath.
“Thank you for saying your mind my daughter. Thanks, thanks, thanks o, thank you, thanks” the more she said the words slowing, the more they tugged at my emotions. The more I wanted to know where the problem laid and put an end to it.
“Mummy, what is the problem with you? Talk to me. I can handle it. I might not be able to proffer solutions to the problems but I can help share in the burden. Talk to me ma” I pestered and she smiled.
“I will talk to you and that was why I chose you. But…” she was saying where the phone rang and she picked the receiver.
“Yes Abigail…good…lead him upstairs…thanks love” she said and dropped the receiver. She looked at me and smiled again.
“You have to go now Precious. I will see you some other time. I need to attend to someone now. Its urgent.” She said as she unwound baby wipes and gave to me. She took some too and wiped her face. I did the same too.
What could the problem be?
As the ‘what’ questions filled my head, I could not think straight anymore.
Was she dying?
That would be scary because she is still very young!
Where was her husband?
As I fumbled with the baby wipes in my hands and descended the stairs, my shoulders hit someone who was going upstairs and I just bowed in apology as I walked away.
Something struck me hard and turned back to look at who just walked past me.
He was at the door…that stature…oh how familiar!
I racked my brain so tirelessly but it didn’t come to my mind who it was.
As I turned the ignition key of my car, I relived the stature again and oh yes!
What was Tony doing in there?
Tony was just a serving corps member nah…exactly why would she send me away because she wanted to meet Tony.
Those words rung in my head like I had never heard them before.
Tony was a medical doctor!
The dream relived and I remembered how Tony bent to examine the dying Mrs. Idile in the dream.
Could that be what it meant?
The dream was all about this?
Or had Mrs. Idile been shown that Tony was my husband and she wanted to put in good words for me so he would pray about it?
I shook that idea off!
How childish that thought of mine was…she obviously wouldn’t do that!
Oh my God!
I dug my hands into my hair again, sighed so deeply, turned the ignition key and as I drove off, I remembered my coconut rice
“To hell with you dear rice.” I said loudly, my tongue turning sour.
I had lost my appetite.
…it continues still
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