Who Am I without you episode 15

Who Am I without you episode 15
“Lola.” She called out to me.
“Mama don’t call me ooh. Don’t even dare to cover up what you just said because my ears no dey pain me.”
“Look at me, you are my child; I raised you.” She was beating her chest. I realized this was the wrong place to talk about issues like this.
“That’s your only child abi?” I asked her pointing to Kate. “Go and meet her, I am done with this family.” I left the room in tears. I heard her calling my name but my heart was already made up.
5 days later, Kate was discharged from the hospital. Even with all the bragging about leaving my family behind, I didn’t have anywhere else to go so I had no other choice than to stay.
“Lola, are you in.” I heard her voice. I didn’t know if I should call her my mother because I still believed what she said the other day at the hospital wasn’t just a mistake.
“Yes mama, come in.” I replied back. She opened my bedroom door and entered. Ever since the incident, she has been avoiding me. Anything that would leave the both of us in the same room, she avoided it. She took a seat.
She sighed and asked, “What are we going to do about your sister Kate?” I was so shocked at her question. This woman will not stop! I didn’t know what it was but it seemed she enjoyed tormenting me. I thought she came here to confront me about the incident at the hospital.
“Please if that’s the reason why you are here, I am not in the mood.”
“But she is your sister; we can’t just watch her future fade away like this.”
“Ah-ha what is this na, how is that my business? How many people have you met that told you that getting pregnant ruined their lives?” Oh I was waiting for her to mention a thing about me then she will really know the kind of daughter she raised.
“Come to think of it, did you even ask me about what I was going to do with my life after I found out I was pregnant?”
“That is not the same thing. You knew better than to let yourself be used so cheaply. I taught you better than that.” She said.
“When did you ever have time for me when you couldn’t stop fighting papa each day?”
“I will not have you insult me this morning, if you don’t have anything reasonable to say I will take my leave.” She got up and walked out.
I followed her to the living room “No, no, no mama we will get to the bottom of all this today!”
“What do you want to hear?” she asked.
“How about you tell me if I am really your daughter! Ever since I was little, I don’t remember you ever acting like a mother to me. It has always been Kate this, Kate that. When will all of it end?” I didn’t want to bring up all those sad memories when mama would always have little birthday parties for Kate but never for me. Papa would say it’s not a big deal that I was too old for birthday parties at the age of 12. Every time I came home with the best report card, she always pushed me away and praises the failures of Kate. It felt as if I was competing with my sister for the affection of our mother. When I got pregnant, she was so quick to sending me off to Bolu. She said I got what I deserved. She told my father that it was the right thing for Bolu and me to get married because she was not going to help raise a bastard son in her house. She didn’t protect me; she sold me off to what I knew nothing about. Yes, she didn’t send me to go get pregnant and I have since made peace with that decision but I will never allow my child to be seen as a mistake.
“Yes, I didn’t carry you for 9 months but I am the only mother you have ever had.” She finally said. I thought I would be ready for what I had been asking her for. It came as a blow to me. I was so powerless I thought if I didn’t find my way to a chair, I would faint right there. I quickly cover my mouth because I felt like scre-ming. My chest was hurting so badly I thought I would die. In as much as I wanted to hear the truth, I hoped the truth would be that this woman right here was my mother.
“And who is my biological mother.” I whispered.
“Oh Lola, I am so sorry. We never planned for it to come out like this.” She said as she walked closer to where I was seating helplessly. “Your father and I thought we could keep this till it’s the right time.”
“Mama, I am 28 years old what right time were you waiting for? Is papa even my real father?” I had to ask because nothing seemed as it was.
“Of course, never doubt that. He loved you with all he had and tried to give you the best he could.” She said.
“And my mother?” I asked. She turned away from me. I could see she was beginning to shade tears now. She got up and walked over to the window. She had both of her hands on her shoulders as she starred outside.
“My sister loved your father with her wh0le being.” She started. I was startled after she said that.
“Mama, are we talking about your sister here or my mother?”
“She died giving birth to you, and I am sorry Lola because I took her place.” she rushed to where I was crying.
“I thought I could satisfy your father the way she did. I saw the love in her eyes when she spoke about your father to me. I thought I could replace my sister; your mother.” She confessed.
“Mama!” I yelled. I couldn’t believe what my ears were hearing.
“Yes I know, go ahead and hate me but I do not regret anything I have done in these past years. I fought for what I wanted and I got it.” She replied back. How could she be saying that?
“Did you ever love papa or you just wanted to be an husband snatcher!” I yelled. My father was a gently man. When I was growing up I would pray to God to send a man that was even half the man my father was for me to marry. He deserved every ounce of love he gave away so freely to his family.
“After your mother died……”
“Mama, I said did you ever loved him?” I was becoming impatient.
“During the months of me taking care of you after my sister died, your father and I fell in love. I knew I never gave him time to heal from losing your mother but we did what was best for you. We didn’t care about what the society was saying, we decided to get married soon so that you would have a good home to grow up in.”
“Dont you see, I have always thought of you first before every other thing.” she said.
“No, don’t say that at all. You used me to get what you wanted, and after papa became your’s you threw me away abi?” she looked down.
“How dare you do that to your own sister? You know what, I have heard enough of this!” nothing she had said explained to me why she couldn’t love me as her own child.
“Where are you going to Lola?” she called out to me as I walked out of the room.
I got to my room and dialed Bolu’s number. “Hello.” I said with a teary voice.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” he answered.
“Bolu.” I sniffled
“Yes Lola talk to me.” He said
“I don’t know what to do, I just found out my mother is not my mother.” I said to him.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“She is not my mother Bolu, she is rather my aunt or am her niece something like that.”
“Wow! This is not something we can talk about on the phone. Get dressed I am coming to pick you up.” He hunged up.