The Machine Gun Preacher
Lawyer Ben Buabasah walked into the central police station and hesitated nervously at the front desk.
There were some few people already there, and a drunk man causing a commotion in one corner, screaming and trying to punch a plainclothes policeman.
A lady sergeant approached the desk and looked at the overweight lawyer who was already sweating in his three-piece suit that late evening.
“Hello, sir,” she said. “How can I be of help?”
Buabasah sighed as he wiped his face with a square face towel.
“I’m here to see a man you arrested,” he said calmly.
“We have five men in cells who were arrested, sir,” the sergeant said.
“Oh, yes, erm… I mean the young pastor,” Lawyer Buabasah said. “Pastor Jon Fii.”
“Oh, yes, alright, the pastor,” the sergeant said with a hidden smile. “And how are you related to him?”
“I’m a lawyer for the church, Eden International Church, and I have been appointed to handle his case.”
“Oh, okay, sir,” the sergeant said. “Kindly wait in the room over there. We’ll be with you in a moment.”
Ben nodded, wiped his face again, and then he pushed the handkerchief into his pocket, turned and walked into the office the sergeant had indicated.
The office was small, and had a single table with two chairs on each side. A dirty ceiling fan was whirling noisily above, but the office was still hot and humid.
With jerky motions he took off his coat and loosened his tie. He put his briefcase on the desk and pulled out one of the chairs, putting it directly under the fan to catch as much of the breeze as he could. He sat down and sighed deeply.
A few minutes later the door opened again, and the sergeant came in. behind her was a handsome young man wearing dark jeans and a red T-shirt. His feet were encased in leather slippers. He was about twenty-five years, tall and with calm eyes as he moved into the office and paused.
“Please, have a seat,” the sergeant said with a warm smile at the young man. Like most women, she was absolutely taken in by the sheer handsomeness of the young man. “I suppose you two already know each other.
The man nodded as he sat down on one of the chairs facing Buabasah.
“Yes, we do, Miss Sarpong,” he said. “Hello, Lawyer Buabasah.”
The lawyer did not speak as he looked coldly at the handsome, young man.
“I’m Emily, please,” the sergeant
The young man smiled at her.
“Thank you, Emily,” he said.
She beamed broadly and turned towards the door.
“You have thirty minutes, please,” she said and went out.
When the door closed behind her, Buabasah leaned forward suddenly and glared at the young man.
The young pastor leaned forward and laced his fingers in front of him. He spoke slowly in a pleasant soft voice.
“You behave as if I love being arrested, Mr. Buabasah.”
“Well, it seems to me you do!” Buabasah said explosively. “First, immediately after you passed out of the pastoral school, you get arrested for being part of some damn demonstration!”
“A demonstration about young
“But you’re a pastor of the Eden church!” the lawyer cried. “You’re not supposed to be a part of rowdy demonstrators!”
“I’ll rather demonstrate to free innocent young girls than hide behind some pulpit, sir,” Jon Fii said softly.
“Maybe so, but you must think of the image of the church when you decide to undertake some of these… rash inclinations! Jesus, Jon! It is the name of the church out there! Eden International pastor leads demo, Eden International pastor insults minister of state!”
“Oh, come on, don’t be so melodramatic!” the young man said softly. “That minister was making disparaging remarks about Jesus and the damn ministry! So, I set him right, exposed him to be the fool that he was, damn it! What did you expect me to do? Sit back and let some damn idiot spew out shit about the God I serve?”
Ben Buabasah was almost apoplectic as he leaned forward.
“There, there! Exactly what I’ve been talking about!” he screamed furiously. “Why did you even decide to be a pastor? You inherited a lot of money from your late father! You could have been anything, anything you wanted! But no, no, you chose to be a pastor, and just a year of coming out of the school you’ve been arrested three times already! What’s the matter with you, huh? And the way you speak… is that what they taught you in the school? Pastors don’t speak like that! You’re an embodiment of the image of God, and your language should be sanctified!”
“I’m talking to you as a man to a man, Mr. Buabasah,” the young pastor said softly. “Don’t be worried by my language. Now, what
“Are you asking me?” the lawyer asked coldly. “Are you seriously asking me? You assaulted a young woman, a very young woman! A twenty-year-old kid! You hit her so hard that she is now on admission at the hospital! And again, it is all over the radio stations! Violent Eden International Church pastor beats up an innocent girl mercilessly!”
“I did not assault her, come off it!” Pastor Jon Fii said calmly.
“Really?” Buabasah screamed.
“Really,” Jon Fii said quietly.
“So, why is she in the hospital? The Executives want to know, pastor! What exactly did you do to her?”
“I kicked her in the pvssy,” Jon Fii said.
Ben Buabasah gulped air and began to choke, and he coughed repeatedly with his great shock.
“You what?” he asked in a strangled voice, his face filled with sweat and his face horrified.
“I said I kicked her in the pvssy,” John Fii said softly.
“Are you mad?” Buabasah screamed. “She’s the daughter of a good elder of the church, a man who had been funding church activities with his good-earned money! And you did what? Are you mad, Pastor Fii?”
“I was at the convention, and Elder Mintah offered to host me,” Pastor Fii said calmly. “Early this morning the girl came to my room after my bath. I just had a towel around my waist. She wanted to make love.”
Ben Buabasah looked at him with disgust.
“That innocent girl wanted to seduce you?” he asked angrily. “Why? She’s one of the most spirit-filled young ladies in the assembly!”
Jon Fii shrugged.
“That’s what you know,” he said calmly. “She said she would scream rape if we did not make love. I advised her to desist. She had locked the door, and I didn’t know where she had put the key. But she would not listen to me. She took off all her clothes!”
“And what happened, pastor?” Ben Buabasah asked.
“She came towards me, started wrestling with me,” he said quietly. “I could not go out the door because she had locked it and removed the key. Well, she managed to pull of the towel around my waist, and wouldn’t take no for an answer! I could not sin against my God, you know.”
“Joseph fled!” Ben Buabasah screamed. “So why didn’t you flee?”
“Are you listening to what I’m telling you?” Jon Fii asked quietly. “She locked the damn door! The windows had bars. I could not flee!”
“So, what did you do?”
“I told you,” Jon Fii said with a lopsided smile. “I kicked her hard in the pvssy!”
“Now, let me get this straight,” Ben Buabasah said with a very furious look on her face. “A girl wanted to sleep with you… to seduce you, actually, as you claim… and your only defense was to kick her in the vagina? Is that what you’re telling me, Pastor Jon Fii?”
“That about sums it up perfectly, lawyer,” the young man said, evidently unruffled.