THE PONMO DEBACLE
As I watched Magnus’ name flash across the screen of my phone, I had mixed feelings. The feeling of shame persisted somewhere in the background. I had embarrassed him in front of his mother and beloved aunt.
The feeling of happiness came next. That he would still seek me out after that debacle with the plate of food. That he still liked me enough to want to see me again and maybe find a way forward from this episode so we could move on with our lives. That we were still good.
But the feeling that persisted most was anxiety. I was worried that he didn’t want anything to do with me and that my behavior had put paid to a future between us. I heaved a sigh of relief as the call terminated and then as I made to put the phone down and continue eating, it started ringing again.
“Answer the young man” Juliet said washing her hands and carrying her plates to the kitchen. “it can only go two ways: either he wants you back or he doesn’t and I need you to be okay with any of the two outcomes” she sat back watching me watch the name flashing on my screen.
“I want him quite alright but I just don’t know how I feel that he did not defend me before his aunt and his mother or that this will always colour how his mother and his aunt sees me” I bit my lower lip in concentration. My remaining food forgotten for the first time in a long time. I breathed in deeply and pressed the green button on my phone.
“Hello?” I said quietly into the phone. I didn’t know what to expect so I kept it simple.
“You walked away from me, my mother and my aunt after you did something wrong and you couldn’t even call?” Magnus’ voice was accusing; angry. I knew he would be angry at what happened but I still didn’t think it was too much of a big deal to cause a ripple in our relationship.
“I needed to cool down and wanted you to do the same before we say something we will regret” I answered quietly. It was so surreal to me that by this time yesterday, Magnus and I were good only for things to take another turn just because of a plate of food.
“Don’t worry, Magnus will come to his senses” Juliet said as she observed me packing up my plates and muttering motivational quotes to myself. She knew me too well. “if he doesn’t then that is his loss and not yours.” She moved towards the television console and started fiddling with her DVD.
“Yeah, that is his loss” I sighed and started washing the dishes thinking of what to do with myself the remaining day of the weekend. Maybe I can take a day off from work and go visit my mother. I could be back to work by Tuesday. It has been quite a while since I had seen her. Her self assuredness always had me wanting to be self sufficient like her. Ever since my father died, she had become a much better version of herself, even going back to school for a diploma course. She was so active and strong. Enjoying life at her own pace and always teaching me that I do not have to change myself for anybody.
“Hello?” I said quietly into the phone. The voice and the name the caller mentioned had me raising my eyebrows in surprise…