There is no easy way out

Tittle; THERE’S NO EASY WAY OUT

“You’ve been on the computer for hours Liam, it’s almost 8pm, go to bed” Brianna, my step mom said as she walked into the sitting room and sat with my dad on the couch

“Shut the fuck up Brianna, it’s not like am on your computer or anything” I said

“How dare you speak to your mother like that!” Dad yelled

“She’s not my mother” I said calmly

“She’s my wife which automatically makes her your mother now get your ass up from that chair and go to bed” Dad said

“You and your wife watch movies all day and night so there’s no much difference between us” I mumbled silently

“Liam! Where the hell is my charger, am having an important chat and my phone is almost down” Jessie, my elder sister said climbing down the stairs to sitting room

“How would I know where your charger is, look for it yourself!” I replied

“You borrowed my charger yesterday, where the hell did you put it!”

“I returned it Jessie so go look for it and stop bothering me!”

“Will you both stop arguing!” Dad yelled “For God sake when will you guys grow up, you are 18 now Jessie and Liam, you are 15, why the hell are you both still behaving like kids”

“Dad, just tell Liam to give me my charger, my phone has just 1% battery power remaining” Jessie said and I sighed

“I brought your charger back to your room yesterday so go look for it yourself” I said

Truth is, I did take her charger yesterday but I forgot it at my friend’s house but I’ll be a fool if I tell her that

“Don’t worry Jessie, you can use my charger, it’s in my room” Brianna said

“Thanks Brie but I must get my charger back from Liam tonight” Jessie replied

I hate Brianna but Jessie seems okay to be with her, Mom died of liver cancer 5 years ago and Dad married Brianna few months back but I haven’t accepted her as my mother and I don’t think I ever will

“Just take your darling step mom’s charger and stop bothering my life!” I yelled

“Calm down Liam, it’s already dark, you might wake up the neighbours” Brianna said

“Will you just stop calling my name and stay the hell out of my business Brianna!”

“Enough! I’ve heard enough of your rudeness Liam, now apologise to your mother” Dad said

“She’s not my mother!” I yelled and immediately the light went off and everywhere turned dark

“What the heck is going on?!!” I yelled as my breathing rate increased and I started panting

“I think it’s a power outage” I heard Brianna say

“Light up the place, somebody should light up this place!!” I yelled as I continued panting

“Liam, is your Nyctophobia kicking in?” I heard Dad ask

I’ve had Nyctophobia for as long as I can remember, it’s the fear of darkness and whenever am in a dark place, I get extreme symptoms like anxiety and depression

“Dad” I called as I slowly stood up and tried to find my way to Dad in the dark

“Turn on your phone torchlight Jessie” I heard Brianna say

“It’s already switched off!” Jessie said

“Dad! Dad am so scared, where are you?!” I cried as my heart pounded faster

“Am here son, try to walk in the trail of my voice” I heard Dad say “And Jessie try to find your way to the kitchen, there’s a candle and a lighter on top of the cabinet”

I tried to find Dad in the dark as tears rolled down my eyes

The panting continued as I moved my hands aimlessly in the dark trying to find Dad and hold on to him

“Dad is that you?” I asked as my hand hit someone

“It’s me sweetie” I heard Brianna say but I didn’t care as I hugged her tightly

“Am so scared mommy, am scared” I cried

“It’s alright sweetie” Brianna said as she hugged me back “You shouldn’t be scared, am right here with you and I won’t ever leave you”

“Dad” Jessie called “I couldn’t find the candle and lighter”

“It’s on the cabinet, it’s probably because it’s dark that’s why you couldn’t find it. Gosh, and I don’t even remember where I left my phone” Dad said

“My phone is on the bed in our room darling, I’ll go and get it” Brianna said but I quickly tightened my arms around her

“Don’t leave me Mom, you said you won’t leave me alone, am so scared” I cried as I continued panting

“There’s nothing to be scared of sweetie, I won’t leave you, I promise” Brianna replied

“Stay here then, I’ll try to find my way to our room and see if I can get your phone” Dad said and then I heard staggering footsteps as he walked way

I continued shaking in fear as time passed and Dad wasn’t back with the phone

“It’s okay son, am right here” Brianna said as she hugged me tightly and I calmed down a bit

Minutes later which actually felt like an eternity to me, I saw a ray of light and then it got brighter

Dad’s coming with a lamp!

Read – Dusk till dawn episode 22

“Luckily I found your phone and I was able to bring this lamp” Dad said and I quickly ran to hug him leaving Brianna

“Are you okay now son?” Dad asked

The room is still kinda dark but at least I can see everyone’s face now

“I feel a bit better now” I replied

“What happened Dad? Why did the power suddenly went out?” Jessie asked

“Gimme my phone darling, I have a friend in the power company, lemme ask her what’s going on” Brianna said and dad gave her the phone

Everyone kept silent as she called

“What did she say?” Dad asked after Brianna was done with the call

“It’s a power outage, one of their panels tripped and blew up and there’s no hope of fixing it tonight, till tomorrow morning” Brianna said

“What?!” I exclaimed “How the hell am I supposed to sleep tonight with no light”

“You’ll just have to adjust Liam, I don’t know why you are behaving like a scared little kid” Jessie said

“Just shut up Jessie, you are saying this because you don’t know what its like to have Nyctophobia!” I yelled

“Calm down Liam, getting worked up in this situation isn’t good for you” Brianna said

“You too should just shut up! Thought I told you to stay out of my business” I yelled at Brianna

“How can you be so ungrateful Liam, she was the one you ran to when you were so scared moments ago” Dad said

“Yeah, and you even called her mommy, did you forget?” Jessie asked

“I never called her that”

“You did and am sure you’re just trying to act oblivious to it” Jessie said

“I don’t care what you think Jessie, what I care about is how am gonna survive tonight when there’s no light” I said

“Maybe we should camp out tonight, at the backyard” Brianna said

“Great idea honey, I think we still have a tent that I can set up” Dad said

“Yeah, and we have some log of woods in dad’s store, we could use that to make a big camp fire to lighten up everywhere” Jessie said

“We should also get the sleeping bags cause we’ll definitely be needing it” Brianna said

“Great, Jessie you and I will go get the woods and tent from the store room and I’ll try to set the tent up at the backyard, honey, get the sleeping bags and meet us at the backyard, it’s bit lighter outside so we’ll use your phone and you’ll take the lamp” Dad said as he gave Brianna the lamp and she gave him her phone

“Wait, what about me?” I asked

“Go with your Mom and help her pack the sleeping bags” Dad said

“I’ve told you countless times Dad, Brianna is not my Mom and why the hell would I go with her” I said

“Why are you such a fool Liam” Jessie said ” Dad only asked you to go with Brie because she’s the one with the lamp but since you so much dislike the idea of being alone with her then you are welcome to join me and Dad in the dark store room outside”

“Yeah, let’s go then” Dad said as he turned to go

“Ummm…… I……. I……. Let’s go Brianna” I said as I quickly collected the lamp from Brianna and I climbed up the stairs while the rest of them laughed

Brianna and I went to each room to get the sleeping bags and it was so uncomfortable being alone with her especially whenever I remember the moment I ran to hug her and called her Mom

Fuck you stupid Nyctophobia, this is all your fault

I wonder what she’s thinking right now
She must think that I’ve accepted her as my mom
No, I must explain everything to her so she wouldn’t misunderstand

“We’ve got all the sleeping bags, we should go meet your Dad and Jessie at the backyard” she said

“Brianna” I called and she turned to look at me

“Yes”

“Ummm…… About what happened back then, I wasn’t in my right senses so I didn’t know what I was saying, you aren’t my mother and you never will be so do not misunderstand” I explained and she laughed

Okay, why the hell is she laughing
I don’t think I said anything funny

“Did I say something funny? Or have you finally lost it?” I asked

“Am sorry Liam but it was kinda funny, you sounded like you were scared that I’ll really start acting like a mother to you but not to worry, I understood the situation back then, of course I knew someone as rude as you are wouldn’t call me Mom in a normal situation” she said and I scoffed

“Well am glad you didn’t misunderstand, let’s go” I said as I turned to leave but she held my hand and I looked at her surprised

“I know you don’t like me Liam and you probably never will but all I ever want for you is that you should be happy but gosh, I was so happy when you called me Mommy back then, even if it wasn’t deliberate. I just want us to get along Liam, that’s all I want” she said and then let go of my hand

I stood transfixed for a while, I didn’t expect her to say all that

“Let’s go, your Dad must be waiting for us” she said as she started to walk away and I followed her

Dad has set the tent and Jessie helped him with the camp fire

We all sat on the chairs round the camp fire
Everywhere in the backyard was so lit up and I finally felt relaxed

“I just remembered, Liam your Principal called me while I was at work today, he said you failed six out of the eighth subjects you are offering and we are supposed to come to school with you on Monday for counseling” Dad said and I immediately knew I was in deep trouble

“But Liam didn’t fail any subject, he got a perfect result last semester” Brianna said

“I thought so too honey and I argued with the Principal that he must be mistaken but he sent me a copy of Liam result in which he failed woefully” Dad said “So explain Liam”

“Am……am sorry Dad, I forged a new result myself at the Cyber Cafe” I confessed

“I knew it, I knew there’s no way you could get such perfect scores” Jessie said

“How could you do such a thing Liam” Dad said and I just kept quiet

“If you want a good result you should study hard just like your sister, Jessie is the best student in her class not by forging results but by studying hard and so should you” Dad said angrily

“Again!” I yelled “Again, you are comparing me to your dear Jessie, you didn’t even care to ask why I did what I did! Everyone knows that Jessie is your favorite but I didn’t really care back then when Mom was alive to love me too but since Mom died I’ve felt so alone in this house, you’ve never for once praised me Dad, everything I do, you always compare to Jessie, for once I wanted to do something that outshines Jessie’s so that I’ll finally get you to praise me just like you use to praise Jessie but what was I thinking, am the rude boy in the family, I can never be truly loved, not even by my Dad and since am such a pain in everyone’s ass, then Dad, you can spend the rest of your life ignoring me and doting on your perfect Jessie, I promise not to complain”

“Liam” Jessie called sadly

“Don’t call my name!!” I yelled and walked angrily into the tent

I sat down and I tried to fight back the tears in my eyes but I lost

This is just so annoying

I continued to wallow in self pity and moments later, Brianna came in with a bottle of water and sat beside me

“I was gonna hand you a bottle of tequila cause you sure look like you need it right now but since you aren’t up to 18 yet, I think a bottle of water will do” she said as she handed me the bottle of water and I collected it and threw it away

“Woah, easy dear, if that bottle had hit any if the tent’s corners, then the tent would have fallen down on us” she said

“Leave, I want to be alone”

“I guess you would’ve preferred tequila but not to worry, when you turn 18, I’ll give you one myself” Brianna said

“I said leave me alone!” I yelled

“You should’ve really drank that water, it would’ve helped calm your nerves” she said calmly

“You are the one getting on my nerves right now” I replied and she kept quiet for a moment

“It’s pretty difficult right? Trying to walk in your sister’s shadow” she said

“What the hell are you trying to do Brianna? If you think that by trying to comfort me, you’ll win my heart, then you’re wrong”

“Am not here to comfort you, you see Liam, I just realized that we have a lot more in common than you think. Just like you, I am the last child in my family and I also have a kinda perfect older sister, my sister married a fine young man too and my parents expected me to follow the footsteps she laid but imagine their disapointment when I informed them that I’ve fallen in love with your Dad and I want to marry him, a man already with kids, my parents were so against it, they wanted me to be just like my sister but I turned out to be disapointment to them, nevertheless I didn’t change, neither did I try to deny my love for your Dad, I stood my stance and in the end, my parents accepted it”

“What are trying to say?” I asked

“What am trying to say is that I understand how you feel, am also trying to tell you there’s no easy way out Liam, fine, Jessie gets most of your dad’s attention because she always makes him proud but you should never pretend to be someone you aren’t just to earn anyone’s love or attention, if you do that then you are admitting to yourself that you aren’t good enough, that you have to put on a camouflage before you can be loved and that’s not how things work, like I said before, there’s no easy way out Liam, if you want your dad to be proud of you then you’ve got to work hard, the right way” Brianna said

“Why the hell do I have to work hard for my Dad to love me, can’t he just love me the way I am?” I asked

“Your Dad does love you, maybe you are too clouded by anger to see it. Remember when your Nyctophobia kicked in when the power went out? Was I the only one that noticed the worry and love in your dad’s voice when he asked you to try and reach for his hand?” She asked and I scoffed

“He loves you Liam, you just have to let go of your ego to see that. And pretending to be someone you aren’t won’t help you, you can never earn anything that way, it’s like you are trying to take a shortcut and there’s no shortcut when it comes to a person’s heart, there’s no easy way out” Brianna said and I kept silent for a while

“Was it hard?” I asked “Going against your parents by insisting on marrying my Dad?”

“Trust me it was, they kept their distance from me and even though I’d act all stubborn in front of them like I was okay, I was always hurt by the way they were treating me” she said

“If you were so hurt then you should have cancelled your marriage with Dad”

“To be honest, I actually considered doing that but I couldn’t pretend to not love your Dad just to please my parents, I just couldn’t do it” she said and I kept quiet for some moments again

“I was really lonely Brianna, ever since Mom died I’ve felt so alone and I miss her so much, she was the only one that ever truly loved me” I cried and she moved closer to me and hugged me and somehow, it felt comforting

“I really wish I could tell you I understand how you feel but I can’t, I haven’t experienced the pain of loosing a mother so I’ll just tell you that you are loved Liam, Jessie loves you, your Dad loves you and I also love you even though you can be really rude sometimes” she said and I smiled

“But I love you because you are you Liam, I love you for showing your anger and not deceiving me by pretending to like me” she said “I know your mother is very special to you and you really love her a lot but am not here to take her place Liam, I can never take her place, all I just want to do is make you happy and feel loved”

I sighed for a moment and then looked at her

“Am sleepy, do you mind if I put my head on your lap?” I asked

“As long as you promise not to drool on me” she said with a smile and I smiled too

I laid down with my head on her lap and I felt so comfortable and loved and slowly, I drifted to sleep………..

I blinked my eyes and I was finally able to open it

“You’re awake?” Brianna asked and I quickly sat up

It’s morning already

“Where’s Dad and Jessie?” I asked

“They are inside the house” she replied

“Did I sleep on your leg all night long?” I asked

“Yeah”

“Then you didn’t sleep well because of me?”

“I dozed off a bit but I didn’t sleep much” she said and I felt bad

“You should’ve woke me up”

“And miss the chance of staring at my handsome son while he’s sleeping? I’ll pass” she said and I chuckled

“You aren’t getting angry” she said

“What?”

“I called you my son but you aren’t getting angry” she said

“You are the one that told me to stop pretending to be who am not, so should I have pretended to be angry when am not?” I asked and she laughed

“No, you are right”

“Ummm…… Last night you said want us to get along” I said and she nodded

“Yeah”

“I agree too, let’s try to get along from now on Brianna” I said

“Woah! Am so happy for that Liam” she said with a smile

“But just because I said this doesn’t mean you should start acting all strict to me from now on trying to act like a parent”

“Com’n, not all parents are strict” she said

“But Dad is strict and don’t tell him I told you that” I said

“Cross my heart” she said with a smile

“Though, your Dad might still be a bit dissapointed in you, I suggest you go apologise to him” she said

“Yeah I know, I shouldn’t have tried to pretend to be who am not, I tried to take a shortcut but there’s actually no easy way out” I said

“Awww, isn’t my son so smart” she said and I laughed

I stood up and started walking out but I stopped by the door of the tent and turned back

“Thanks for everything, I love you Mom” I said and I quickly walked away

………….the end………..