DIKE THE GRAMMARIAN
:Written by BRIGHT DANIEL
Mr Kelechi had a befitting bungalow with three bedrooms. Though it had the outfit of a local building but due to it’s fashionable roof and colour of paint, it appears modernized. Inside the house, in the sitting room, are pictures and calenders on the wall. One of the calenders also had an image of a newly ordained reverend father of a Catholic church. A small television could also be seen on a large room-divider and at the centre of the room is a table with three chiars surrounding it. Suddenly, Mr. Kelechi came out from his room trying to put on his red cap with a staff enclosed in his armpit. He had a dark complexion and looking young regardless the fact that he was in his late fifties. He also had an average height with a weak civilian typology. As he got ready to go out, Ngozi, his daughter barged in and breathing hastily to the extent she nearly pushed her father down.
“What’s chasing you?” the father asked unhappily.
“Papa, sir Dike..” Ngozi held her breath.
“You mean Dike the grammarian?”
“Yes, papa, but he’s not the one chasing me.
“Who then is cause of this panicky feeling in this hazy afternoon?”
“His grammar couldn’t let me stay, so i had to run inside the house” Ngozi replied and felt a bit silly and ashamed then the father disdained her and said, “So a common grammar made you barge into my house hastily..” before he finished his sentence, a knock came from the door and Dike entered. He had an old-school dressing withe a voluminous book in his hand. He also had some white beards on his jaw. Immediately Mr. Kelechi saw him, he smiled and hailed him, “Dike the grammarian!”
“Hold it!” Dike began by taken a step forward. “Before any satirical statement, your daughter, Ngozi, must face a cogent grilling for activating her locomotive organs when i wanted her to comprehend my words voraciously”
“Hey! Dike, take it easy. Mind the way you use your big big words. Obviously, that’s what chased my daughter away from you” Mr. Kelechi lamented but Dike provoked the more and kept his book on the centre table making Ngozi to step backward in fear knowing very well that the grammar gonna increase. Therefore Dike put his two hands in his pockets and said looking at Mr. Kelechi, “You juveniles indulge in the fatalism of not comprehending my vocabulary when I’m not yet a sanguine lexicographer. I wonder how opacity my words are that your daughter, even with her groovy and voluptuous body cannot adopt simple edification over fictitious and malicious narcissism”
“Hey! This man has finished me oh” Ngozi shouted with her two hands on her head.
Mr. Kelechi cleared his throat. “Dike, you really went to school and studied very hard” he said.
“I’m happy that you can substantiate fastidiously on that” Dike picked his book.
“Yes, meanwhile, before you came in, i was on my way to the palace for the deliberation of the tragedy that is befalling our village”
“Yes, that reminds me about those prosaic pip-squeak who quaff in order to cause holocaust and onslaught in this very arboretum called village with paragons as citizens. They have no scenario of…”
“Dike..” Mr. Kelechi interrupted him. “Don’t worry, when we get to the palace, you’ll finish up your grammar. As it stands now, we are already late” he glanced at the wall clock.
“Alright then, let’s activate our locomotive organs” Dike concluded and walked out followed by Mr. Kelechi.
At the palace, there was a long table at the center with elders sitting opposite one another. They had red caps on their heads. Only Dike looked odd. The palace was the only building in Umuye village which had a better look exept other houses owned by business men who were living in the city but come back occasionally. Igwe Izumba, the king, came in the midst of the elders unhappy and sat on his throne after the elders stood up and greeted him simultaneously except Dike……
TO BE CONTINUED