WRITTEN BY AMAH
I agreed to Loan Ladi the money and he promise to pay back. I told him never to ask me for money again to add to his business.
He nodded and thanked me before leaving that day.
I don’t care if he pays me back or not but all I wanted was for him to be able to get back on his feet.
Maybe I was born not only to be his wife but to also help him succeed no matter what his flaws maybe.
Is always difficult for me to watch him suffer or overlook his troubles.
Things turned sour between us real quick. Ladi used to be the love of my life, my hero and my all in one. I love him way too much than I ever love anyone. It was as if we were made to live happily together as one family and just in a twinkle of an eye, everything change so fast.
I never imagined that our lives will reduce to this. Living apart from each other, having to settle with the fact that I have a co wife, that Ladi has another family.
It took me time to settle with all this but do I really have a choice?
I don’t have the heart to divorce Ladi like my sister has suggested. She wanted to proceed and make all the papers ready which was a good advantage for me having her as my lawyer. But I couldn’t divorce my husband and the father of my children.
I was tempted at a point to do that but I refused to yield to such thoughts.
Ever since we separated, I take my mind off anything intimate between me and Ladi or with any man. I can’t even bear the touch of another man who is not my husband.
Life thought me to not only rejoice when the going is good but to also remember that nothing is certain.
Enjoy prosperity while you can, but when hard times strike, realize that both come from God. Nothing is certain in this life.
Life strike me in an unimaginable way, in a way I never expected but I managed to scale through it and bounce back again.
One day, I decided to visit Ladi’s plaza to see how things were going with his business.
Ladi was surprise to see me, he smile as he ushered me into his office. He explained that he was back to business fully and working hard to make sure this time it will grow instead of collapsing. He pointed out his mistakes, his extravagant lifestyle with Santi and said he has already told her clearly that he will no longer be responsible for her flashy lifestyle, she can do that with her own money since she has a big shop of her own, car and a nice place to stay.
Ladi said they had another battling quarrel and he did not let her use any weapon on him like before, he threaten to throw her to the street and collect everything from her if she continue with such irritating attitude.
Anytime she ask for something if he doesn’t provide it for her it will become a problem and will lead to a fight.
But is been over three months he stopped such and he is saving up money for all his children’s fees.
Ladi also mentioned that Santi is now calm and different ever since she suffered a miscarriage for the second time.
Santi was heartbroken that period and hardly talks to anyone.
she automatically changed from how cruel she used to be. according to Ladi
Ladi thanked me for being different and very understanding and also for taking charge of the kids when he was foolishly misbehaving.
He said he will resume paying all the children’s fees again and other expenses on their head. He will also pay me back the money I loaned him by next month because business is beginning smile back at him.
With time he will extend the business to another shop making it three shops and he will maintain that number.
We talked extensively, something we have not done for years, ever since I moved out.
Ladi went on apologizing again for everything he did to me and also the kids.
I walked round the shops with him, pointing out things that needed to be changed and few other things that requires renovation.
Ladi took notice of everything I pointed out and promise to see that is all done.
As Ladi was walking me to my car, I saw Santi and her daughter approaching us.
Her daughter shares in Ladi’s facial features. Is been four years I saw her last and I was taken aback at the speed she has grown. She has Ladi’s resemblance in a beautiful way.
“Hello Miwa, is been ages. Never thought I will see you around here. I’m glad to see you again. How are you and the kids?
Santi asked looking at me with a smile. She was not mocking me or trying to spite me with her tone just as before. She was actually asking without grudges.
I replied her cheerfully. I also mentioned that Zazi was growing so fast. She smile before asking me if I will like to come over and check out her shop.
I looked over at Ladi and he urged me to do so with a pleading nod. Santi also pleaded for me to come over to her shop for some minutes.
I followed her while Ladi went back to his own side, leaving me and Santi.
Santi showed me round her big shop and introduce her three staffs to me as her senior wife. We talked as if we have never quarreled before. Since she was almost in the same line of business with me, except that mine was more of foreign mixed with African fabric. I was able to point out some business ideas to her since I have been in the business for over a decade.
I also got to know that Santi has suffered two miscarriage ever since after giving birth to Zazi. Just as Ladi said earlier.
She opened up to me on the pain and how saddened it was for her. She carried out her frustration on Ladi but is all in the past now.
We talked for some time before I decided to take my leave. She offered me drink but I declined and told her that next time I happen to come around we can both have time to sit, sip some juice and talk.
She walked me to my car, as I was approaching my car, I guess Ladi saw me going and came down.
“I really appreciate you coming around. It means a lot to me Miwa. Thank you for everything and for being so kind and loving ever since I know you. I’m sorry to have ever taken any of your uniqueness for granted…
Ladi said in front of Santi who was smiling. I gave a nod to Ladi’s words.
Santi stepped in to say.
“I wish you had more time to spare, we could have had many more things to talk about. I also do appreciate you Miwa, you are a nice woman. Not many of us have such a loving, forgiving and enduring spirit. I don’t know how to be patient like you and forgive but I’m beginning to learn. If we must be united and be a one family then we should be ready to tolerate, love and over looks wrongs. After my second miscarriage early this year, I have learn to appreciate things better and thank God for the people in my life. You are a good woman and I can’t even compete with you on that. I thought I can have all it all but your good heart keep paving ways for you. I’m sorry for all the pain and tears I caused you. I wish I can go back in times and right every wrongs…. thank you Miwa for everything. You deserve my respect and honor…
I smile with several nod. They waited until I entered my car and waved me good bye. I watch them from my review mirror as I drive out of the place.
Ladi said something to Miwa and she nodded respectfully before they went to their separate shops.
After two months, Ladi transferred back the money he borrowed from me and he added a huge percentage to it even though I never asked.
Six months later he started paying for the children’s fees by transferring money to my account every month. Both for fees and for upkeep.
He comes around with both food stuffs and other items for me and the children.
Santi visited one day with Ladi, She said she has conceived again and she is praying that this baby will stay. I also wished her the best.
She said I should place a hand on her stomach and pray for her. I thought it was a joke but she was very serious.
She asked me to place my hands on her stomach because she believes that if I do so the baby will stay and there won’t be any more miscarriage.
She pleaded seriously.
I did as she said. I prayed for her with all sincerity so that she won’t suffer another miscarriage.
She was grateful and thanked me after I was done praying.
The pregnancy stayed and she gave birth to a baby boy. I went over with my children for my steps son’s naming ceremony.
Danladi shuttled between my place and Santi’s. He said he was saving up money to buy back our formal home. And he will definitely do that.
I and Santi gave him our support in cash and kind.
Within four years he bought back the house that was worth far more than it was sold.
Ladi said I should move back to the big house even Santi urged me but I declined because it will remind me of many sad things I have forgotten.
That house holds a lot of good and bad memory for me. I can only visit, the kids can also visit their father but not moving back in.
I was secretly putting my own building together but did not let anyone to know about it.
it took me three years for me to finally complete the building.
I invited Ladi and Santi for the opening of my house. They marveled at what I was able to put together. They were surprise.
I packed and moved to my new home with my children.
I still think about how I have to share my husband with Santi and wish things were different. I still think of how I have to abort my baby at Ladi’s command while Santi gets to keep hers. That too makes me sad.
I still think of how I abandoned my matrimonial home and ,moved to a rented apartment with my kids, takes over the huge fees and had to work extra hard for the first three years of moving out. I think about how it started and how life took another route for me.
In all of this I have come not to depend on my pain or dwell in self-pity. I picked up the pieces of my heart and moved fast ahead. I was able to give a full support to my husband and Santi when needed.
My heart is pure towards everyone and as God has blessed me with so much, I have decided not to ever allow anything to make me sad.
I still thank God I was not depending on Ladi for every penny, I was hardworking, I had sleepless night and I still have days I cry silently but my blessing is far more than my pain.
My 22nd wedding anniversary came, Ladi said we are going to make it big and grand.
And it was indeed a huge and successful party. Santi was there to help out in every way necessary. She was not the bitter, disrespectful, rude Santi anymore. The children too were all around as I and Ladi celebrated our 22nd wedding anniversary.
Salami was around, she still have not been able to trust Ladi. She said I should be very careful with all his sudden love and kindness towards me.
I spent a week over at my former home with Ladi, Santi and the children before returning to mine.
Ladi wanted me to spend more days but I just have to go.
He visit three or four times in a week and was always around for our children fun fair or graduation, taking up his fatherly role at every needed time.
Ladi has come to love and cherished me far more than he ever did before but my love for him is not what it used to be and no matter how hard I try to make it come back is still not the same.
While his love for me increases mine grows cold. I cherish and respect him as my husband.
Indeed things has changed and I try to adapt to every change that comes my way. I love my children and I’m focus building them to be great in life.
The love I had for Ladi before was undiluted and I almost died when I found out about his betrayal. Yes, it was hard for me to admit and live with it all but eventually I did.
Ladi buys me gift and send me money whenever he makes profits. I help him save the money and give it to him when he needs it to buy more product.
I don’t want Santi to feel less love or complain that Ladi was beginning to give me far more attention. I Told Ladi to always buy two gifts anytime he wants to buy a gift or anything for me.
It has to be two. One for me and one for Santi. Even if he has to buy more for Santi I really do not care and will never feel bad about it.
I’m used to sharing my husband and whatever comes with it.
Ladi tries to argue over that but he later agreed to do as I said. Ladi has two children from Santi and three from me and he was working so hard to provide for everyone as I also join hand with him in supervising his business and helping him to save money.
Ladi trust me with his life and I never try to betray or keep some of his money until he ask me to do so. What belongs to him will always be his and what is mine remains mine.
Life got the best of me but I did not allow it to break me, I was able to pull out and wins all my battle with my heads up.
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It sound like a story until it happens to me, I still wish for many old days but that is foolishness because I know there are better days ahead.