WHEN I FALL 🍂 🌊
BY RUTHIE LEE 🌸 🌸
“Loving someone makes you want to take a big step!” I tell Kathleen
“What If I want to take bigger steps!” she said.
“Then you just have to stop talking now!” I said and kissed her.
Kathleen never wasted time in reciprocating. Her arms grabbed my neck and my arms held her tiny waste firmly.
Unlike the dream we kissed a little gentle this time, it wasn’t as rigid and rough as it was in our dream.
Well I spoke too soon cause, as soon as our bodies start to heat up, gentle became an overstatement.
We were both aiming for something with just kisses but didn’t know what it was but was just aiming for that particular thing.
The more we kissed the more I wanted more. It was like a never ending story. Like a destination you can never reach, a kiss that no matter how many times you go, you can never be contented.
My hands tightened around Kathleen’s body when a very low m0an escaped her lips.
We were so lost in that moment, that I suddenly found out I’m in another dimension just by kissing Kathleen.
We both didn’t waste a second catching our breaths and we’ll move back on immediately.
We went on like that for minutes, we didn’t want it to end but then Kathleen broke the moment.
She looked away shyly as her hand slipped away from my shoulders and down to her sides.
I didn’t say anything I just stared down at her.
Down at her lips.
I wanted more….
“Is something wrong?” i finally asked.
She shook her head Negatively,
With a hidden smile she said. “It’s just the first time I’m feeling something like this!”
“First time, feeling something like what?” I asked.
“We’ve both kissed before but yet this one felt different.” she stated.
Of course it did.
Every kisses we take are always different I feel it.
“Really?” I raised a brow.
“Yes,” she placed her hand on her chest. “I felt my chest burning with rage, and the inside of me melting like jelly!” she explained.
That is like the normal sensational feeling people feel.
“It’s nothing new!” I tried to hide my smile.
“For me, it is!” she stated shyly.
Well good for her.
“And… There was this other feeling. I can’t explain it though” she said looking at the floor and looking lost and trying to figure out something.
“Well I hope it’s not a bad feeling” I said.
“No it’s not!” she shook her head.
I was seriously craving for more kisses.
I leaned down to go for another kiss but she moved back.
“Don’t you think we should get some sleep, it’s going to be morning soon!” she said nervously.
“Yeah right, we should get some of that beauty sleep” I gave a faux smile.
Kathleen head to her room while I head to mine.
I closed the door behind me and sighed.
Look at me, afraid to get close to Kathleen, now I’m kissing her. My subconscious laughed at me. I was so afraid of her getting into my head and then going crazy, but now all of a sudden, I don’t care.
Or is it already happening and somehow I am half aware and unaware.
I walked back to my bed and laid down on it. Thinking about my situation, I fell asleep.
I woke up the next morning and realised I woke up late again. I know I didn’t dream about Kathleen again. But yet I do feel that feeling in me. And that still doesn’t explain why I woke up by 12a.m
I noticed Mary wasn’t on the bed and I didn’t worry cause I know she’ll probably be with Kathleen and would have had breakfast by now.
How I wish.
Kathleen was normal.
To Mary, she’s like a mom in disguise.
To me…. I still don’t know yet. Maybe she’s a blessing or a curse or maybe my dead end.
I walked to the bathroom and was a little bit surprised when u passed the living room and couldn’t see my daughter or Kathleen.
I brushed my teeth and took a refreshing bath.
A bath that I took for almost an hour, I was like glued under the shower thinking about Kathleen. Or is it that she’s already in my head?
What is happening.
Why is my every thought about her.
In my head there’s a warning side about her and the other side is the total opposite.
I changed into a comfortable attire and walked around the house to look for Kathleen and Mary, they didn’t seem to be inside Kathleen’s room either.
I went upstairs.
My house is a one storey and since it was just Suzanne, Mary and I then we just stayed downstairs and no one has ever went up the stairs before, it was just empty rooms upstairs. Empty rooms I thought would be for more children I will have from Suzanne.
But well Suzanne happened.
I went up the stairs and my footsteps echoed through the walls.
I heard giggles coming from a particular room and it sounded like my Mary’s.
I walked inside the room and found Kathleen showing Mary funny faces.
“Kath?” I called and her head turned to me.
“Oh, sir Joseph!” Kathleen held a bright smile.
The room was wide and bright open, it was empty and the sun shone inside the empty room and it lit up Kathleen’s skin.
How beautiful her skin glows with the sun.
“Why are you guys here.?” I asked.
“Oh, the house was a little bit boring without you, you were still asleep, and suddenly with Mary in my arms I found a staircase at the back of the living room that led us up here, why are the rooms up here all empty?” Kathleen asked.
“Maybe I should have informed my architect to construct a family of three house.” I sighed.
“Huh? Arc..” Kathleen seemed confused.
“Well, see these empty rooms were supposed to be for my children.” I explained.
“You have more kids other than Mary?” Kathleen gasped.
“What? No” I laughed. “I thought I was going to have more kids with Suzanne and they’re all going to occupy the whole house.”
“Ohh…” Kathleen nodded as she understood immediately.
“So now with Suzanne gone, that means no more children?” Kathleen added.
And I shrugged. “seem like it, unless I get remarried though but being a single father is the best for now. I can’t get my heart knocked down twice.”
“So you don’t plan on remarrying?” Kathleen asked.
“Yeah i just said that” I replied sitting on the concrete floor beside Mary.
“Da.. da.” Mary smiled and crawled up to me. I took her on my thigh and Kathleen sat opposite us.
“So you don’t plan on having more children?” Kathleen titled her head.
I gazed at her.
“Why, is it because Suzanne isn’t here anymore?” she asked.
The questions though.
“It doesn’t matter if Suzanne’s here or not, it’s by my choice.” I replied.
I didn’t say anything funny.
“Okay, I just thought about something and it’s kind of beautiful to think of” Kathleen smiled.
“Beautiful to think of?” I asked.
“Yeah! Now in your head, picture me and your baby” Kathleen gave her fullest smile.
I raised one eyebrow at her and she laughed. “Isn’t it amusing to think about?”.
“It is amusing, but somehow I can’t picture that” I stated and she rolled her eyes.
“Okay let me help you, now just imagine Mary looking a little bit like me. I mean that’s how it works!” she shrugged.
“Yeah, sure, anyways have you both had breakfast?” I asked.
“Yup” Kathleen said popping the ‘p’
“Okay, looks like we’ll all be having lunch together, and it will be brunch for me then” I stated.
Kathleen smiled with a nod and we both remained quiet.
I was bored.
Did she run out of questions.
I suddenly recalled last night and how my urge to kiss her went over the line. Well I did kiss her anyway.
Thinking about it, I realised how selfish I have become.
She doesn’t have a problem with me kissing her or doing anything with her. But I have a problem with her trying to even touch me. And I call it a mistake when we kiss, I try to make myself think I wasn’t in my right mind when I did something like that. But sincerely I was more than in my right mind.
I am just so scared to realise I’m just hurting her.
And she just likes me so much to realise I’m hurting her.
I’m just scared about Ymir and her suitor, about what happened to him because of this so called Ymir.
But then again my smart subconscious reminded me that the story could be made it or be true and besides, it’s not everything you believe on social media.
I looked up at Kathleen, she might make herself get in my head and leave someday.
“Kath” I called and she widen her eyes at me.
“Why do you like me so much?” I blurted out without any shame.
She laughed. “Well, there’s a lot of qualities on why I like you sir, Joseph”.
“Youre different, when no one welcomed me. You did, you gave me food without questions, you had a normal conversation with me, you let me live here, you’re very nice towards me, you have a nice voice, your presence is warm, and suddenly I found myself growing fond of you, and now I can’t go back cause suddenly you were like everything I needed” she explained with a small laugh.
No one has ever confessed like this to me before.
And by No one. Not even Suzanne.
“And I sir, Joseph I don’t like you, I love you.” she blurted out like it’s nothing.
I froze on my spot and the name Ymir appeared on my mind.
I raised my head.
“Kath, if you were asked to live here with Mary and I forever, or go to a place where all your wishes can come true, where would you choose?” I calmly asked.
She looked at me weirdly. “Why would you ask that, all my wishes are here. I can’t leave here, I’ll live here instead. You and Mary are like the reason why I want to wake up everyday.”
My heart skipped a beat as she said those words and I almost broke down.
Hear that Mary? We’re the reason she wants to wake up.
Kathleen primped and scoot loser to me Mary and I “And my greatest fear, is waking up and seeing that I’m all alone and you are Mary are gone. Can you make a promise never to leave me. Or maybe just take me wherever you want to go but don’t ever leave. Please, sir, Joseph” Kathleen wore sad eyes.
She shoved her index finger into Mary’s hand and Mary held it tight.
So wait this means. She never wants to leave??
Of course people can be different.
Kathleen can never be like Ymir. So what was I so afraid of.
“So you can stay with me, with Mary and I forever?” I asked.
“Till my last breath” she replied with a smile.
And she keeps saying serious things with a smile, like it’s nothing.
I didn’t know when I placed a soft kiss on lips and backed away immediately.
She giggled. “It’s okay!” she smiled.
“Even If you don’t like me the way I do. At least you’re here, at least your company is enough” Kathleen smiled.
Is she supposed to a siren or an angel?
T. B. C
BY RUTHIE LEE 🌸 🌸