just a little sin episode 57

JUST A LITTLE SIN
Episode 57
By AMAH’S HEART

I try not to appear surprised, I wanted to flow with the conversation as it comes.

“He’s a handsome boy, just like you, he has your fine nose..”

She looked at me strangely and smile before shaking her head in a funny way.

She dry her hand before moving back to the sitting room.
Omie didn’t reply me untill we got to the parlour.
“I can bet my son’s look is not exactly what you have in mind to say. You really don’t need to be afraid of asking me anything you wish to know. I will tell you anyone I feel that’s necessary and leave out the unnecessary ones..”

Is a great opportunity and I quickly jumped at it.
“Are you married? Who is the boy’s father? How come I never see him with you? I don’t really know much about you, can you tell me please? Are you married, how did you get the boy, did you adopt him..?
Different questions were flooding in my mind and I didn’t bother to filter them
I asked as it comes so that I don’t hold back an important question.

“Easy.. easy Tom. I will answer your questions.. I’m not married, the father of my son is unknown, let’s leave it at that. Why you haven’t seen the boy is because he stays abroad with my parents, they raised him like their own. And I didn’t adopt him, I gave birth to Jeremiah at the age of seventeen, two weeks to my eighteenth birthday…”

She breathed in, stared at the television but I knew her mind was distanced apart.
“..I got pregnant while in highschool. I have a rich parents and the only daughter who was not only given everything she wants but I was too pampered that I became a spoilt brat. Having two elder brother who does not joke with me, made me more arrogant. I travel during each vacation to different countries and schooled abroad at some point. It was during this time I had ungodly friends, who led me into doing so many things and some I just choose to try it out. Peer pressure, teenage hot bløød and freedom to do as I please brought about Jeremiah. I can’t even point out who exactly was responsible at first because I didn’t want to get anyone in trouble. My parents are rich and will deal with whoever got me in a family way, so I lied that I was raped and more lies was told just to cover up. My parents took me out of the country. They’re Christians and didn’t opt for abørtion. It was one hell of a nightmare during pregnancy, God helped me through the rigorous time, I gave birth to Jeremiah and took several months to heal before resuming school. After school, I returned back to start my life anew. I decided to take God serious and have strongly built myself, equipped everything about me spiritually and have to denounce anything in my life that does not glorify God. I still go visiting my family and I have untold the lies I told to my parents about Jeremiah and asked for their forgiveness of which they said there was nothing to forgive because I was young and naive and open to mistake. They’re happy with my new life and have really supported me all the way. Dedicating my whole life to God and taking my walk with him more serious than anything in this world has put me in a great map. The holy spirit communicate with me, God respond to my prayers fast… like I pray and get the answer. I used to do things I wasn’t also proud of, which I could’ve tagged little sin but now I know better, I will do all I can to guide anyone God brings my way in the right path. To help them not to sin against God..”

” I want to attend your level of faith in God. Is one of the beautiful things I admire in people, when I see how zealous and how taken they’re with the things of God and even God communicate with them through signs, dreams, and voices. I admire that so much and my utmost prayers is to get there someday..” I said it and meant it

“You will Tom, just be focus and upright. fear the Lord your God and adhere to his ways so that you may live long on earth in the land of the living..”

She smiled as she looked at me “…it took me alot of self sacrifice, alot of self deprivation..a whole lot of many things before I could get where I am today..”

“Can you tell me about your relationship, either past or present” I asked

“I don’t do too well in a relationship. I have tried twice and ended up leaving. If I find things in a man that does not glorify God or a man who claims to be God fearing but still struggling with his flesh I don’t think twice before walking away and there’s no amount of plea that makes me want to stay..”

“What about me? Omie, atleast you know me better. Give me a chance please..”

“No Tom, I’m dedicated to God alone. God has given me everything I could ever ask for. I’m satisfied and confidence in him. Nothing matters to me in this world except my heavenly race. My walk with God is very important, I don’t want any form of distraction in it. God who sees your heart will give you the woman of your dream, not me Tom. Think of me as a friend and sister in the Lord, let’s keep it that way..”

I was speechless, my whole body went stiff.
I thought of a lifetime without Omie in it and felt frightened.
I don’t know why but all my heart desire and happiness was to someday make Omie my wife.
How do I erase this thought that is already part of me
She was serious with her words and asking repeatedly or pleading non-stop won’t make her change her mind.
She may even pick offense and start avoiding, I don’t want that.

How can I be okay? What do I do now.
My heart was heavy, it aches me painfully.

Is this how real heart break felt like?
It was first Onie who almost drive me crazy with her sudden dismissal
Now is Omie and I’m wondering how to move past her refusal.
Is obvious that I don’t do so well with anything that has to do with the heart.

I could have start crying right here at her place but I managed to put my emotions together before I embarrass myself.

I left with a heart that’s about to explode.
She offered to drop me with her car but I told her not to bother.

I felt like crying heavily but I held it all in.
I start wishing I was a little boy, I could have cry and wail freely without any form of judgement from passerby.

I counted my steps as I walked to the bustop to take a bus home.

(Do NOT take credit or plagiarize AMAH’S HEART STORIES)