Why I Can’t Love

Why I Can’t Love – Episode 1

© Jones Kwesi Tagbor
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
All Rights Reserved.
This work should not be reproduced in any format whether online, in soft copy or in hærd copy without permission from the author (Jones Kwesi Tagbor).
Most people seek for true and lasting love when in relationsh¡p. They wished they find the special person who will meet their deepest expectations while loving them equally in return. When they try over and over, and can’t find what they looking for, they continue to work on self-improvement and try h-rder to understand the moving earthquake that is the dating playing field. There are those people who seem to easily find partners who want to be in committed relationsh¡p with them. They don’t seem to have to try very hærd to attract partners they want. Sometimes their outward behaviour is an accurate representation of who they are.
Love is to supposed to be unconditional devoid of any form of conditions attached. I have ever loved and I think it was to the fullest. The reward I received after loving was broken heart. Not once but on three different occasions respectively. The first one was when I was in the college of Education. I met Richmond who was coming from a well to do home. He poured all sort of gift on me. My birthday’s with him are still fresh in my mind. I really loved him but he always try to find fault on me. He has no respect for my feelings and my views. I was madam wrong in his sight always as he was Mr Right. I thought I loved him but I was wrong. He only do use me as a s€× toy to satisfy himself at anytime that pleases him. Even how we met was somewhat a mystery.
We were placed on the same dining table. I happened to be a fresh student as he was in his second year. In the process of eating, he asked me to stand-up without knowing what I did wrong. He made me stand till it was about 3 minutes to the close of dinning before he asked me to sit down. I lost taste for the food because it became cold. After the closing prayer, he asked me to wait behind. I then asked him what I did before asking me to stand. He said I did nothing but it was because I was too beautiful for his liking so he just needed me to stand so that he could see me well.
He then introduced himself as Richmond and in second year. He asked of mine and I told him I was Esther. He said he was Sorry He made me not to finish all my food and then gave me 10 cedis to use for food at the canteen. I told him I was ok but he insisted so I eventually took the money. He took my contact and said he will call to be checking on me. He also promised of protecting me on campus so I should feel free to report any challenge I will come into contact with. He then esc-rted me to my hall.
 Weeks passed and he actually demonstrated love and care to me. We became very good friends then at one of our chatting sections, he proposed love to me. The question he asked was would I reject him if he should tell me he loved me? I said why should I? Then he went straight and said he loves me and wants me to be his girlfriend. I told him I was Sorry for I have someone in the house before coming to school so I cannot just leave that person because I came to school. I realized he was not very comfortable with my response. I ignored that facial expression despite the fact that I lied to him that I was dating. That doesn’t mean I was a V-rgin or something.
My V-rginity was broken when I was in my Junior High School by my mathematics teacher. Because I was not very good in maths, my parents asked him to be having extra maths classes with me after school and on weekends in our house. One Saturday my parents went to a funeral leaving me and my two siblings who knew nothing in the house. I was around 15 years by then and you could imagine the rate of development. When he came he started admiring my beauty and said a lot of things that made me feel like a princess, then he said he wanted to teach me the sweetest thing on earth.
 He convinced me and had his way through me. I got hurt because he was too big. When my mother returned in the evening, she saw that I was not walking properly so she asked what went wrong with me. I told her I was suffering menstrual pains. Sir Thomas gave me some pain killers the following day when he came teaching. I hate seeing him that day. I nearly reported him but the issue was he didn’t force me but only convinced me and besides my mother won’t spare me when she hears that. The wh0le school too will get to know about it which will bring shame to me so I kept it to myself.
So that made it clear that I was not a V-rgin. Richmond continued to show care regardless of the fact that I didn’t accept his proposal. I thought of this and I felt in my heart that Richmond actually loves me. He do advice me, encourages me when things become difficult for me. At times he gives me money even when I do not ask for it. He was just too nice to me. So I decided to give inn into his proposal but I waited till the last week Of the semester.
 I arranged a meeting with him. He changed my arrangements and said he will take me out to a restaurant just close to the campus so that we could discuss what I have. After taking a plate of rice each, I told Him I lied to him that I had someone in the house so I have agreed to his proposal. He opened his mouth in amusement and went on his knees and thanked me for accepting his proposal. We continued with our drink and left to campus.
 Little did I know that after telling him that I was dating back at home, he proposed to another lady that was in her second year just that the lady was yet to give him her response. Anyway I didn’t know that from the beginning. He became very happy. I was happy too but eeih! come to think of it. How could I fall in love within my first semester in school.
Life with Richmond was something else. Hmnm that day that we finished writing our last paper, Richmond came around my hall and said he wanted us to go out to chill since we have finished our papers. I planned leaving campus the following day so I was just packing my things when his request came in. I agreed so we planned 7pm to go to a club in town. When we got there I saw many of the students there. They were all moving in two’s. “Oh so this is what goes on here? ” I said to myself. We went to get a place in a Conner Where most people could not see us. He requested for a bottle of stone bear with two wine glasses. One for me and one for him. Hmmm I regret that day.
Just relax I will tell you everything.
This is just the beginning of the journey. Relax and enjoy the rest of the episodes.

…to be continued

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