Why I Can’t Love

Why I Can’t Love – Episode 3

© Jones Kwesi Tagbor
Least did I know that Richmond was just in for fun and nothing but fun. I tried my best to make him happy at all cost but he was never content with that. I quite remember the day he was not feeling well. I needed to stay awake throughout the night just to make sure that he was ok. I spent my academic periods making him feel good . I cooked for him, washed for him and even chose what he should wear just to make him look nice on campus.

He happened to be a very handsome guy as well (the one every girl would love to get). Having midnight pleasure with him was just as normal as anything you could think of . He rented a hostel in town just for our pleasure sessions. In order not to tell lies, he was very good at “it” and that even made me find it difficult quiting the relationsh¡p. I was deeply lost in the pool of love while he was also in for fun. He turned me into a s€× maniac. Anytime he needs s€× he will just call on me to meet him there.

 Aside our relationsh¡p, Richmond was also dating Afia, the hall prefect’s friend without my knowledge. So it got to a point where everything was all about excuses. Today this excuse, tomorrow another and the next a different one. He has had me to the fullest so he decides when to attend to me or what to do with me. But anytime I miss his call will mean I must come up with numerous explanations.

I was thinking he was just jealous because other guys do propose to me. It got to a point where the relationsh¡p became very dark and cold. We hærdly see each other not to even talk of having an extensive conversation on phone.

We were given a midsem break but I decided to stay on campus to see if we could put things in order so that our relationsh¡p could bounce back to normal. My hall prefect was also around. I knew Richmond will also be around because he was not a fan of going home after such a short break. I called him and he told me he will be going for a funeral in their village so he wouldn’t be around but will return just after the burial service.

 Not knowing, he had arranged with Afia to travel with her during that period. My hall prefect became my friend because of that incidence of punishing me. I told Richmond that I will be waiting for him on campus. One night, while almost everybody had left the hall, I was asleep on my bed. It was that three in one bed but I was on the down one. Deep in the night while I was asleep, I felt someone m-ssaging my body. I thought I was dreaming. So I was just mentioning Richmond’s name. I was actually enjoying the m-ssage.

Before I could realize, my hall prefect tapped me on the chin to open my eyes. She was the one halfway unclad sitting on me while doing the m-ssage. She said shhhhhh!!!! . Meaning I should shut up. She said I should keep quiet, then she asked if i was not enjoying what I was feeling? She added ” forget about guys because they will only use you and dump you. Let us have fun in our own way. You have a guitar-shaped body why do you want guys to destroy it for you? I fell for you from the first day i saw you but you gave yourself to that ‘goat’ you call Richmond. Do you even know where your so-called Richmond is as we talk now? By now he is on top of Afia in a hotel far away from town. If you want evidence let me call Afia and hear something. ” she stood up from me and went for her phone and called Afia. The first two calls ended without any response but the third one went and she picked. This was their chat;

Prefect: “bad girl why were you not picking my calls? ”

Afia: “haayy baby girl you dey spoil my night give me oo I dey heaven with my husby ”

Prefect: ” really? So who be that? Or ebi Richmond? ”

Afia: ” yes now? The guy is just too good ”

As soon as I heard her say ‘yes’, my body just vibrated like a quick phone flash. My thinking pattern was in a jumble. Total cacophony. They continued with the call. The phone was on speaker loud so I could hear everything.

Prefect: ” OK then baby finish am hærd oo that en babe dey campus dey werge am haha”

Afia: ” dawg am saf. She figure say she b smart pass me ”

Then Afia hanged the call. My eyes were filled with tears. As I was lying crying, the prefect was just fumbling my br-ast. I pushed her and asked her to get up from me. She then said I should stop thinking about that guy because that was how they do it on campus. She added that I shouldn’t call any guy as belonging to me unless the person has married me. I poured out more tears because I felt cheated and useless.

 Why me? I asked myself. The prefect spoke to me in a way which made me regret ever meeting Richmond. I finally gave in to her game and we had fun together that night. She started calling me her baby from that night. I never liked what she did with me so I distanced myself from her.

The following afternoon, I packed my things and went home. I cried the wh0le day when I got home. My mother asked what the problem was but I just lied to her that I lost a very good friend of mine (see how guys can turn ladies into Liars!

). She tried to calm me. She pampered me like I was her only daughter. But the fact is that we are four in number and I happened to be the first born.

Richmond never called for the wh0le period of the break. I also didn’t call. The break was over and we got to school. I never made my mind even to see him. He hærdly comes to dinning too so I didn’t see him at dinning despite the fact that we were reshuffled.

Personally I have no idea of how that Afia looked like but what I planned in my mind to do to her when I meet her hmmm. Maybe they would have sacked me from the school. One day on my way back to the hall after prep, I met him (Richmond) on the way walking very fast. When he saw me he shouted “oh my love! Where have you been? Why have you suddenly forgotten about me? I lost my phone when I got to the funeral and because I was very confused, I couldn’t even remember your number. You didn’t even asked of me from my friends. I just returned from the funeral and am on my way to your hall to ask of you. ”

 I was just looking at him as he continued to talk. When he landed, I asked him whether he had finished. He said what did I mean by if he had finished. “Don’t you believe me anymore ?” He asked. ” Oh not that oo I was only asking you so that I could also tell you why you didn’t hear from me ” I said. ” OK then tell me I’m listening to you.“ he said.

“I went home because you were not coming and by the grace of God, my old boyfriend who broke my V-rginity and travelled abroad had returned and wanted me back for marriage. So I was busy with him. He never gave me the opportunity to make calls so I also returned today” I said to him.

He was like “whaaaat? What are you trying to insinuate? Just these few days of my absence and you couldn’t control yourself? You went to give yourself to another guy? Is that what you are telling me? ” I said ” yes you heard me right. I am not speaking in parables or idioms. Am speaking in plain language. Maybe next time ask Afia, your funeral s€× mate to teach you so that you learn the difference between idioms and plain language or better still what it meant by your phone getting missing and f****** Afia in the hotel over the week. Goat!! So I was just one of your pets you use for your dirty games huh?“

I fired at him with some sort of pain in my heart. He became motionless and speechless. He was just looking into my face in shock, fear and panic just like a confused tilapia.

So how did Richmond finally responded to the shock? What happened next? The next episode surely has got the answers. Please don’t forget to leave your comments.

To be continued

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